I usually have students declaim some of the famous landmark poems at the landmarks. Some of what we read for today included: Louis MacNeice “London Rain,” William Wordsworth “Composed Upon Westminster Bridge 1802,” William Blake “London,” Robert Bridges “Trafalgar Square,” D. H. Lawrence “Hyde Park at Night, Before the War,” Amy Lowell “A London Thoroughfare at 2 am,” Brian Bilston “They’re Renovating Buckingham Palace,” Evie Shockley “London Bridge,” John Betjeman “Summoned by Bells at St. Paul’s," Theresa Lola “Flagship of Buzz,” and Patience Agabi “The London Eye.” I especially love how in the final poem there's a glimpse of Wordsworth writing "Westminster Bridge" and the shoutout to the older poem, down to the year 1802 cleverly reconfigured.
In line for tea at the cafe, a Canadian woman told me that she'd canceled her trip to the US and decided to travel to the UK instead. I completely understand. I also understand how kind people use these kinds of conversational gambits to suss out other people's positions and to offer consolation.
Today, I had a long tea with JG and she got kind of bashful at the end of our visit and then offered me some of her mom's jewelry, because she's always said that her mom (who passed away thirty years ago and I never got to meet) would have loved me. From everything I hear, the feeling's mutual. I was nearly moved to tears by the honor and and have picked out two pieces that I will treasure.
And this evening, in unexpectedly terrific news, my mom called to say she might make it to Nu's graduation party!
The thing is... I've been keeping a secret from her that I should probably disclose to her before she gets here. The secret's not wholly mine, but it's my mom, so I'm going to have to step up. That's dilemma #1.
Friday is At's birthday. I was planning to do family dinner with At and then hurry to a fancy dinner I RSVPed "yes" to because I was nominated for a CASA award. (This is what the fam encouraged me to do, and they were going to accompany me too.) From the detailed itinerary I was sent this afternoon, however, it looks like I did NOT win the award. Would I be a dick if I changed my RSVP now? This is dilemma #2.
And finally, I will be far away from my kids on Mother's Day as I'm scheduled to be in the U.K with my travel Spring Term. Should we celebrate long distance, or arrange a M.U.M. Day (Make Up Mother's Day) as we did last year?
Pic: I love dandelions. Lately, I've been torturing myself with thoughts about having let Scout play in a nearby park with no dandelions, which means the place may have been sprayed with toxic chemicals, which means he may have ingested some, which means that may have caused his tumor, which means Scout would be alive if I had been a bit smarter.
As it turned out it was a good thing. Although the case itself is sad, seeing all the people fighting to keep children protected was perhaps what I needed to see.
There was a new prosecuting attorney, who, young as they seemed to be, knew how to ask the precise questions to redirect testimony back to the notable points. The doctor patiently giving expert evidence about about bones healing, made a nerdy comparison to Gothic arches. The judge always makes sure that everyone understands the legal procedure, providing summaries and outlines to help.
There are many things wrong with our society, of course, but also so many reminders that so many are doing their best. There are such deep pockets of goodness and wellness in our society.
Pic: Cherry blossom in full bloom. Beal Gardens w/ Lisa and Jeanie 4/22.
1) I got some fiery ideas for real resistance from an open letter to the Dem leadership. It got me right from its very relatable beginning: "Dear Democratic Party, I need more from you. You keep sending emails begging for $15, while we’re watching fascism consolidate power in real time." (LOL-sob). What follows is an amazing 7-point plan of action that gave me so much hope. This email's subject header was "Letter from Liz Cheney" and I would have usually been like NOPE. (It's actually authored by a Dr. Pru Lee.)
2) An apparently long-standing bookclub in the area wants me to lead a discussion of Clear by Carys Davies sometime in the upcoming year and they'll pay me $200 for the hour. I didn't realize bookclubs paid people?! This email's subject header was "Book Review" and I thought it was a request from someone I didn't know asking for a blurb.
3) An organization I volunteer with rather infrequently wants to feature me as the volunteer of the month, and were giving me a heads up that they were going to pull my photo from my Google profile. Okay. This email's subject header was "Thank You from ___" and I actually thought it was a fundraising email.
4) The birthday cake I delivered the other day and prompted the fight with Big A was enjoyed by the three-year-old it was meant for. Their family sent me a photo and it was so adorable that it melted Big A's heart. He said he'd come with me on delivery trips when possible (basically be my "delivery buddy" as Lisa suggested). This email's subject header was "cake"-- I think I had a feeling what it was about.
I wonder what surprises I'm missing on high-volume email days!
Pic: Last week at the bookstore with At, I got this James Baldwin votive from their "Secular Saints" collection. Baldwin went on my altar as soon as I got home, as I need his courage and clarity in these times. (At and I laughed about the side eye she gave me when I got this because I was such a stickler about "bookstores and bookfairs are for books, not toys and tchotchkes" when the kids were growing up.)
I came across the idea of "brain laundry" where you sort your light and dark thoughts. Here are some topics from today sorted by ":)" and ":/".
1. Conferences:
:) Successfully submitted two proposals--one by myself + one with E.M. And I started work on a chapter proposal which isn't due until May.
:/ Both conference proposals are fairly slapdash. Also, I wanted to submit one with Big A to jumpstart our stalled writing project, but we just didn't get around to it.
2. Surgery
:) I'm supposed to get surgery tomorrow to get a cyst taken care of. Finally! I've been putting it off for a very long time. It's a minor procedure under local anesthesia and I've been promised Taco Bell. Yay.
:/ When the nurse went through post-surgery wound care, I got majorly freaked out. I called Big A and he talked me down, but I might still bail tomorrow.
3. Charity
:) I'm lucky that my family is so supportive of giving in general and fairly mindful of my rules like not spending because we're saving to give to X, etc. Then there are unbudgeted things like GoFundMes and grocery add ons. A good percentage of the weekly grocery run is things I sock away for free pantries and people asking for stuff. Big A's family was on food stamps when his divorced mom was putting herself through school for teacher education, so he never begrudges the extra expense...
:/ But, he does NOT like it when I deliver stuff, because he's convinced it's dangerous. Although sometimes like today there is no alternative (someone needed a birthday cake for their kid and did not have a car). He likes to tell me I'm going to get trapped in a basement... because he knows how much that terrifies me. This led to a fight.
4. (Pic:) Gardening::) The box of perennials I brought home from the plant sale this Saturday on the floor of the tea garden. Bleeding Hearts, Gauras, Hellebores, and Geraniums. I'm going to plant them inside for a few weeks until it's frost-safe outside.
:/ I feel so bad when I catch myself wishing the Poinsettias, which have cheerfully been going strong since before Christmas, would die. Poor things--I should just move them somewhere where I don't have to see them all the time.
1) L and I decided to go to the plant sale but didn't want the hassle of finding parking, so we walked over to the horticultural center and brought home our perennials on the sled L resourcefully brought with her. We must have looked like very eccentric ladies.
2) It was fun to see a bunch of MSU skaters practicing jumping amidst chatter and laughter and... using an MSU police barricade for practice.
3) Yesterday the pedicurist asked if At and I were sisters and today At remembered that people have been asking if we were siblings since At was about five years old. Back then, it used to make me feel bad because it felt like people were saying I wasn't a grownup. But now, I feel compassion for the ingenuous and overworked single mom I was.
4) Nu, who wouldn't even let me throw them a 16th birthday party bash, gave me permission to throw them a graduation party. I feel a bit guilty, because I think they're doing it to just make me happy, but L says doing stuff for others is a sign of maturity and I should give Nu that chance. Ha.
5) Today's Passover Seder at the M's was Muppets-themed. Nu wanted to go when the invitation first arrived, but ditched this morning. Big A who didn't want to go from the beginning kept making up silly, complicated reasons why (one of them was that Miss Piggy might be there and that would be problematic because of the prohibition against swine--eyeroll). It's a good thing I'd invited EM to go with me--we had a great time.
6) Pic: One of the rooms L and I wandered into by accident at the horticultural center happened to be the butterfly house. It was bright with sunlight and blooms and I think I got a butterfly or two in this frame.
I hurried through my morning chores so L and I could head to the hands-off protest around 11.
I haven't been singing with the women's choir I got into two years ago regularly, but today, I stood on the steps of the capitol with Sistrum and sang call-and-response songs to start up the crowd. There were some fiery speakers. I particularly liked that Rep. Dylan Wegela shouted out the DSA and suggested that anyone not representing the people (no matter what their political affiliation) should be voted out.
And what a great turnout for the "hands off" protests all across the U.S. today. On social media, I'm seeing videos of rallies that are miles long and and thousands of people strong.
I'm also hearing that while the protests were shown on the tv in other countries, mainstream media in the US hasn't been covering it. (I don't have cable and don't know for sure.)
I'd heard of the #SitYourBlackAssDown signal from Black leaders ahead of today as a way of protecting Black people from police violence as well as a "your turn" gesture to the rest of the population. And post-protest, Black leaders have correctly pointed out 1) the absence of black people at the protests has meant absence of police in helmets and anarchists inciting violence 2) how in the long laundry list of all matters that need protection from this administration, Black Lives are seldom mentioned although Trump's interactions are always adversarial and his initiatives always antagonistic towards Black people. I cannot unsee that now--posters at the protest supported everyone from immigrants and trans people to veterans and teachers, but I did not see any posters about racial injustice. We need to do better.
Still and all, it felt good to be at the rally today, and made me feel like I was actively engaging with the democratic process. And it was great to be there with comrades like L and RS, AH, SD, and so many others. Standing on the steps of the capitol and seeing the thousands of people amassed there, I, along with many of the singers around me, teared up. It was powerful and humbling.
Pic: A portion of the crowd at the protest today. My eyes kept going to the "if your voice held no power they would not be trying to censor it" sign.
It's April 1st tomorrow and who knows what the day will bring--here are a few things that took me by surprise on this last day of March.
I woke up from a dream in which I marveled how in a crowd of strangers we unhesitatingly call ourselves "we." It's true, isn't it? There's something beautiful and magic about that.
I was on a walk and 30 mins from home when a neighbor called to say she'd found Max wandering around her yard and had put him in her screen porch. Obviously, I panicked and called Nu to go over and get Max. Nu went downstairs and then called to tell me Max and Huck were downstairs cuddling on the sofa. Ha. The other puppy was reunited with their family soon after.
For the first time ever, a book I put on hold at the library (Claire Lombardo's The Most Fun We've Ever Had) came in before I caved and got it myself.
Yesterday, while sheltering from the tornado, I realized that Nu and Big A had ordered an arcade Ms. Pac-Man game for the basement. I thought we were in our frugal era! I'm mad. Also that thing is going to be 5-ft tall when it's put together.
Pic: I commented to Suzanne that I planned to make sushi cups from an insta reel I'd seen. I did! I did not expect them to be as as easy as they looked or come out so well (esp. as I ad lib a fair amount). They look a bit color deficient to me as I want all five colors at every meal, but a blueberry-mango-raspberry compote completed the gap at dinner.
Today's rally was designed to be celebratory and joyful, which is why I invited Nu... but I think it still felt a bit overwhelming and they needed some time over the evening to go off by themselves to decompress. They were telling me later how they had such great hopes for the country in 2020, but feel defeated now. It's a bit depressing outright miserable to hear a 17-year-old think and talk like that. At got there just as we three were leaving the capitol and met up with us later at the house for dinner.
I'd originally planned to have a great, big gathering at our house, like we used to after the Women's Marches. But I scaled things back as I didn't know if my scratched eye would be healed (It's 90% healed, BTW!). We ended up with a tableful of guests and just after we said goodbye to the second carful, the emergency sirens began going off for tornadoes+thunderstorms. I went out again to call our guests back to shelter in the basement (as we were about to) but only got taillights. I was glad to get the texts about where people were sheltering a few minutes later.
Pic: I've never seen "Cistem" before, and I love it.
I've been skulking around campus like an obnoxious person of mystery in sunglasses because I scratched my cornea two days ago (while helping myself to a tissue!!). And because it hurts, I've been heading home early and missed the faculty bake-off yesterday and the reception to celebrate LV's tenure today... Boo.
But I love this part of the semester because students are working on their research projects and I love seeing how fired up they're getting and all the ideas and connections that are taking off. Who knows where that will go. A paper on Baldwin's Sonny's Blues from last year's critical theory class just won first place in Sigma Tau Delta's (the English honorary society's) international convention that concluded in Pittsburgh last week and the society's journal editor asked the student if they could publish it!
Pic: At the WGS Symposium with one of my student's projects about rehabilitating body dysmorphia in dancers. Their point is that as dancers they always stare at themselves critically in the studio mirror so they wanted to use the mirror as a canvas to enable dancers to write empowering complimentary words for themselves and others.
And on compliments: A couple of weeks ago, when I gave the talk about the Trump administration's rhetoric, a student told me their friend who'd come to the talk with them said I was pretty and had terrific hair--I got so self-conscious, that instead of saying thank you and moving on, I blathered on about but did they like my talk. The next day, Lisa said something nice about my hair as well, and that weekend I reacted awkwardly when something similar happened. L's advice: "A simple thank you will suffice."
Today, I finally got to teach the class I was supposed to teach in prison last October. I was a bit concerned about building rapport with a bunch of adults I'd never met before within the space of a class period, but it went great.
Things that stuck with me:
I will.
Lots of moving parts to the prison education program currently, but I want to keep being involved. Surprisingly Big A, who usually supports everything I want to do, was a bit taken aback when I mentioned taking this on as an extra class and wondered if I might need to pace myself.
(Also, I don't like shaking hands. If I resort to my heritage and start offering namastes instead--would that be rude?)
Pic: Spring is really coming! A sunshiny-bright patch of crocuses on the MSU campus.
Just a few busy weeks to the end of the semester... Research meetings, a workshopping forum, a town hall, and a standing committee meeting crowded this non teaching day. Then I went home for dinner, and hosted our Women's History Month keynote speaker online. There were two Zoom mishaps and I dropped my laptop on my face and now have a swollen lip (what a klutz!!).
After the talk, I skipped off to trivia night where Big A, EM, SD, AH, and DV were doing great without me. The only question I could have helped them get was about Claudette Colvin. We ended up placing third in a tie-breaker.
Nu's coming to my classes with me tomorrow. Talk about observation anxiety... I better get to sleep.
Pic: Ooops! I didn't take any pictures today, but this is yesterday's sunrise just as I got to work. I took it from the top of the stairs to the theater building. All golden and zen.
And her "menstrual products petting zoo" is always a big hit. Reusable period products like cups, discs, and period underpants are usually in clamshell packaging in stores. Her "petting zoo" lets people get a feel of the products.
Her anecdote about having a booth at a true crime convention and noticing all the people dressed up as serial killers skirting the period supplies booth is hilarious. I will say menstruation holds little stigma for our current crop of young people. I love that they'll just dig around in their backpacks for a tampon in the middle of class and leave holding it openly.
The big tip Lysne gave us about affecting change is to decide what change we want to see and then listen to many perspectives on how to affect that change. "Take your ego out of it." Sounds like good but tough advice.
Pic: Lysne with my class. I love the sassy picture of Lysne we have up on the screen as well!
Note to myself. I've got to stop spending hours upon hours on a presentation that lasts mere minutes, right? But lots of people wanted my slides, so perhaps it will live on in that way.
Pic: My jasmine is blooming! It's glorious!
Our class went to Metropolitan University for a talk with Sunny Singh today. I had the same soft argument with Sunny as I've previously...
