Sunday, May 02, 2021
Saturday, May 01, 2021
not in a full way/just kidding
but I summon/succumb
start assuming our story as reality--
no--a fantasy--something festal
--or elastic as seasons
and still--don't know where I'm going
but I'm going and I'm arriving
where you will embrace me
On this windy, spring day: At graduated today with honors in Poli Sci and History. Jim Daniels as commencement speaker was a pleasant surprise.
Wednesday, April 28, 2021
I was sitting in Nu's window seat--they have one of the best views in the house--when these guys came to find me. It reminded me of that time they busted me in At's room.
Sunday, April 25, 2021
Big A spring-cleaned our study, scrubbed the tiled floor, and moved rugs around this weekend. The resulting palette is kind of all kinds of red especially around my reading chair, adorably added to here by Huckie carrying a red dinner napkin around...
I sent this pic to family chat with the caption "A Study in Scarlet," and was miffed no one got the nerdy reference.
Sunday, April 18, 2021
My sweet Nu made me a matching rainbow kandi bracelet and taught me how to trade it proper P.L.U.R.-style.
Definitely the highlight of my weekend.
I'm worried about Covid spikes in MI and even more worried about the tsunami of numbers coming out of India. Extremely worried for my parents who got their second vaccine shot last week, and are experiencing some persistent and alarming discomfort / symptoms.
Wednesday, April 14, 2021
Nu isn't allowed to say the "B" word.
None of us really do--but I did buy some Bitchin' Sauce because the name made me chuckle (and it's tasty!). Now the sauce is all gone and Nu has a new earring.
And it's definitely making a statement.
Tuesday, April 13, 2021
I'm stopped at the traffic light at on my way home and it turns into a wait for the slowest train in the world to pass.
There's a rap on the window and At's face beaming down at me. I unlock the doors, he pops in, I hug him so hard. He takes off his mask; I tell him to keep it on; he's all "but we're vaccinated;" and I'm all "you haven't had the second shot yet." Then he's referencing something about Bill Gates and vaccines--maybe this?
I begin laughing because it's so random--and as I told him, in a couple of days I'm going to think I dreamt this whole sequence of things.
And I'm laughing because I'm so relieved to see and hold him on yet another day when to be the mother of a brown-skinned man is a day for a slow simmering fear.
Monday, April 12, 2021
Scout really does take after me--he hates going to the doctor.
Big A had to take him in because we found a mass--it didn't seem to bother Scout (and that it didn't bother him bothered his doctor dad, actually).
The clinic said he's put on 10 pounds. Probably pandemic related, right? Humans home all day, sharing additional table food and treats?
Big A called him "Mr. Fatty" on family chat and the lovely human kids immediately jumped on him for body-shaming. I don't think Scout's forgiven him yet.
Fingers crossed on his microscopic report.
Thursday, April 08, 2021
A long day of teaching, lots of individual conferences checking in on student research projects, and very little time for admin stuff that needs doing.
Tomorrow is another day.
A quick visit to At to drop off groceries and measure his chest (for a birthday present).
LOTS of hugs.
Back home, Big A's poke for dinner, and a snuggly semi-sleepover with Nu, Scout, and Huck.
(Meaning--I'm supposed to be watching Umbrella Academy with Nu, but I fall asleep ten minutes in. The show is good, it's just that I'm tired.)
Sunday, April 04, 2021
At had headed home after his vaccination yesterday in case he needed cosseting (he didn't) but we had him until brunch today.
Nu got to spend time with At watching video clips and playing Goose and generally realizing that their older sibling needs clear requests and communication or else all their time together might be spent hearing the good news about socialism... or something.
The human kids did an Easter egg hunt in the backyard while the puppy kids followed me around for treats (pictured). It was fun making rhyming clues and hiding presents and generally babying my babies.
Savory casserole and store-bought Easter cupcakes for brunch and biriyani leftovers from yesterday for dinner. I got to read a Mary Stewart AND fall asleep in the sunshine, so that's two things off my let's-get-happy list.
Saturday, April 03, 2021
willing like magic
identity shifts and orbits
to you, to me
to open actuality
we try to scribble it
here we are; there we go--
still hurt, counterfeit
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
Sunday, March 21, 2021
Tuesday, March 16, 2021
At had kind of not been ok, and I thought a green comrade in his dorm space might be nice for him, so I gave him a potted dracena on his 'Boss Day.' At the last moment, I stuck a fake succulent stem in there too.
Yesterday, he texted to ask about its watering schedule--and while he was watering it...
At: This succulent is fake. lol
Me: I promised you you could keep all this alive. I wanted you to feel good about yourself!
At: Love you lol
Me: Love you <3
At: How often should I water the real plants?
(The picture is a real succulent L gave me last year... I'm bad with succulents, actually--I overwater, and they have no restraint and drink everything and then individual leaves get too heavy and plop off...)
Saturday, March 13, 2021
Saturday, March 06, 2021
Thursday, March 04, 2021
I love my students.
I was supposed to go home after that last class, but I was hoping to get a birthday hug from At before I left for home. I sent two texts--including one that read fairly desperately: "Birthday hug: yea or nay"--because it's At and he's completely capable of forgetting my birthday in his gentle, absent-minded way. He texted back that he was very busy, couldn't meet, but would explain later. I was pretty crushed, and remember thinking he could have at least said "Happy Birthday" before he brushed me off.
Yes, he's in that picture--he'd driven home to have birthday dinner with us.
I'd asked to be surprised for dinner and it seems like Nu, At, and Big A had each picked three things I like to eat so there was an incongruous all-you-can-eat buffet situation with sushi and green curry and poke* and pao* and a glorious olive oil cake* with raspberries, lemon zest, and pistachios (the last asterisked three by Big A and his kid helpers). AK and KB had dropped by at work, LB and EM dropped by at home, so I have more presents than I deserve. More books to read, notebooks to write in, so much chocolate, and so many bath bombs.
At had parked at the end of the cul-de-sac because his presence-present was a surprise, so I got in a magic walk by starlight when I walked him to his car. And then some magic--albeit smelly--cuddles with Scout, Huck, Nu, and Big A to end the day.
Tuesday, March 02, 2021
Monday, March 01, 2021
Wednesday, February 24, 2021
Reading students encountering Laura Mulvey, Hanif Kureishi, and Shauna Singh Baldwin, introducing a new class to invitational rhetoric, referencing an old student's lesson plan involving the 'Red Rover' game... everything felt like a fresh spring--at least in my soul.
By the time I got home to little Nu, the 'sad' part persisted, but the 'mad' part had melted away.
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