interior monologue randomness

*Thank you, America for welcoming me back with a school shooting. I've been thinking of Madison, WI friends all day. I know Sarah's kids are in public school (the shooting was at a private Christian school), but it's got to be scary having something like that happen in your city. (It's also the second or third time the media have tried to wrongly blame a trans kid for the shooting. WTH?)

*It's Dec 16th and I did not get an email from our Provost, so it's ok to assume I still have a job.

*I've landed very firmly back into Christmas prep territory. I did a ton before I left, so there's just stuff I'd be doing around this time anyway (cookies, last-minute wrapping, panic gift sourcing). I'm writing this relaxing by the glow of our Christmas tree.

*Our holiday cards are delayed, but that's because I wanted to include a pic of our sisters' Greece trip. I enjoyed wearing matching things every day with my sister and being a dork.

* Speaking of dorks, our partners have made miraculous recoveries. 

* Also, Big A drove an hour+ to pick me up at the airport with a drink and snacks and I had flowers and chocolate waiting for me at home. True Love! I'd stopped eating chocolate a few years ago, but I never waste anything, so loved ones have figured out that I'll eat it if someone else buys it for me--this is a cheat, right? 

*In the same vein, I've been sending all my discretionary cash to people's GoFundMes in the past year, so having to spend money on myself on the trip was a bit jarring. But it was for my sister's big birthday, and I don't get to decide how she spends her corporate salary. Nevertheless, I had to spend a lot of time talking myself through these rationalizations before I could fall asleep at night. 

*I avoided the news this last week, but I learned today that Reem's grandfather died in an Israeli shelling. I'm not a "I'm glad they get to be together now in heaven" type of person; I'm a "they should both be alive together on earth kind of person." So I'm both sad and mad. 

*Lisa asked if my sister and I had done a trip like this before--we haven't! My kids are finally at a point where I can take off for something like this without much prep. Ironically, although my sister doesn't have kids, our elderly parents live with her, and it requires a lot more planning on her end now. 

*Nance and Lisa also picked up on my mention of a squabble. This was despite both of us being on our best behavior. We haven't lived together in thirty+ years and are very different. For instance, we have diametrically opposed views on this year's revolution in Bangladesh. But at the same time, we want similar things like the secular India of our childhood that was a shelter and leader to third-world causes. So we can make it work. We plan to go to Egypt for my 60th! 

 

Pic: Friday's Cape Sounio sunset.

bloopers and getting back

Pics: From this morning's photoshoot. I wanted a picture of my sister and me with the Acropolis in the background for the holiday card. But our selfie skills and timing were off and we kept messing up the shots: our big heads were in the way, or our expressions were unready, or it tickled, and by the end we were just laughing so hard the pics were unusable. But looking at these pictures when I was by myself on the trip back made me smile every time. (We have matching blue silk blouses and olive-wreath headbands for "atmosphere.")

I was ready to be back home, but simultaneously SO SAD to say goodbye. Incidentally, we said goodbye FOUR times at the airport--thinking each time we might not be able to make it back to a common area in the departure lounge to hang out although our flights were within an hour of each other's. My flight was earlier, and the same ticket agent witnessed our super-clingy (cringey?) goodbye twice. I don't care. I probably won't be able to see my sister until the summer or even longer. (And I'll probably never see that ticket agent again in my life.)

Big A told me forty-five minutes into our hour's journey back home from the airport that he'd had pain on his left side all evening. I would have taken the bus back home if I'd known earlier. (It immediately made me think it sounded like a warning sign of a heart attack, but he claims it is probably just some inflammation. I trust his diagnosis though.) My sister's partner too sprouted a fever this week. I feel like our partners should be able to make it a week without us? I've kissed a sleeping Nu hello, and have been hanging out with Max and Huckie who gave me a hero's welcome home (but then, they always do no matter how long or short my absence has been) while eating the remains of the dinner and fruit salad the fam had earlier. I missed all of this...

Hydra, Poros, Aegina

We took the ferry to three islands in the Saronic Gulf today: Hydra (which has no cars and only donkeys and mules for transportation), Poros (with its sweeping views of the Peloponnese), and Aegina (home to the only temple of Aphaia and the pistachio capital of Greece--they roast the pistachios with lemons and that turns out amazing!).

We met a few groups of people we'd seen at various sights earlier in the week, and it was nice to hang out with them, dance with the boat DJ who started playing Bollywood songs, and play cards when the sea journey got monotonous. I could stare at waves all day, but perhaps that's not for everybody? 

Our very final stop on the tour was the Greek Orthodox church of St. Nektarios, which was built in 1993. I scoff at the 20th century anyway and when the guide said sick people from all over the world come there, my horrified sister made eye contact with me and mouthed "Let's leave," so we did. Not a very inspiring last stop, but we were requited with an absolutely amazing sunset and a beautiful full-moon-rise over the water on our way back.

Pic: We started the day with a squabble, but please don't misread our grumpy faces and fist-bump which was to show off our matching bracelets.

Athens and Cape Sounio

 Nothing prepares me for how majestic the Parthenon is. We saw a few temples on this trip including Corinth (Apollo), Delphi (Apollo), Cape Sunio (Poseidon), and one planned in Aegina (Apahaia). But the Parthenon (Athena) simply dwarfs the rest. And it is so iconic, that standing there I imagine democracy (in its most rudimentary form exclusive of women and non-landowners, but still!!) or philosophers setting our course for the future, and it gives me the shivers every time despite the crowds.

We Facetimed with the parents so they could see it a bit too. We had press-on nose rings and tried to fake it like we got matching nose-piercings with the spending money my mom had given us to freak her out. She immediately saw through our fake but said it kind of suited us, so perhaps we should really get one sometime?

All of our breakfasts and dinners have been buffets provided by the tour. This afternoon included a lovely taverna lunch--where the maître d' worked hard on short notice to accommodate our vegetarian requests, a private car to Cape Sounio to see the temple of Poseidon at sunset, and then dinner by ourselves for the first time since we arrived.

Pic: Posing in front of the Parthenon; we're wearing matching blue (Go, Greece!) scarves.

Meteora (and South Korea)

Even from the base of the boulders in Meteora, it was impossible to tell how they'd managed to get a monastery up there, or how we'd get up there in a bus, but it happens somehow through the magic of pulleys, and roads, and stairs. 

My love is ancient Greece, so I gave Byzantine Meteora a miss on my previous trip. My sister was keen to go though, so we looped it in this time, and I'm glad we did. It was pretty incredible.

Also, on the bus I met a young person from South Korea who had been at the poeple's protest that brought down martial law just last week, and they shared their pictures with me and I shared them on the family chat and immediately became cooler to my kids.

Pic: We're dressed in long skirts and have covered our shoulders because that's the required dress code at the monasteries we visited. We both went to convents for school, so we chatted up the nuns just like old times. We're wearing the matching necklaces we got at the museum store--my sister's is visible, mine's hiding under hair.  

Delphi

As I climbed the ruins, I looked up at the lofty crags thinking how that view hadn't changed for centuries. The rocks that had been carved were impressive, but the rocky cliffs all around were simply majestic. 

Somehow, in my head, I expected a cave of some sort to mark the omphalos-aspect of it, but other than that Delphi delivered. It was charged with power (like Stonehenge, like Tirupati)... In fact I noticed at least one other person saying a prayer at the Temple of Apollo. 

At the museum I wandered off by myself because my head was too full. I thought Kleobis and Biton, the Argos twins, looked like they were wearing dreads/locs. I kept coming back to the room with the charioteer--that beautiful figure--and marveling that the only reason we have him at all is because he disappeared in a fourth century earthquake before he could be looted or razed and magically remerged almost completely intact in 1896. Life/history is so strange.

And then I read Helen Monroe's poem and cried. "Higher up in the mountain, in the stadium/ Coursed the Charioteer. /Of all the thousand statues only his alone/ Has won the long race with Time/ Here at the goal he stands, lifting the reins,/ Young, beautiful, alive;/ Gazing at our incomprehensible world/ Through enameled eyes.

Pic: We're bathed in light at the Temple of Apollo. (And we have matching scarves today!) Also: we found a simple necklace featuring a pair of silver peafowl--that I liked and made my sister happy--at the Museum shop.

Olympia

My sister and I haven't shared a bedroom in thirty years. 

On some level--I think--it makes us revert to feeling like kids. We hung out with a delightful couple from New Zealand at the Museum and we were being respectful as though they were our elders. It was only later that it occurred to us that their kids were around At's age so they are our peers!

Today we spent a rainy day in Olympia trooping through the archaeological ruins of the ancient Olympic site and then exploring the museum for much, much longer. (We're museum people not sporty people.) I learned that the reason Olympia is so far inland is because the organizers wanted to diminish the risk of the games being attacked by seafaring enemies. 

Pic: Today we have matching handloom wraparound skirts from India and were showing them off while the guide was getting our tickets. I heard my friends say we should get matching jewelry in the comments and I may allow something small and meaningful. I think I'll know it's right when/if I see it...

Corinth, Epidaurus, Mycenae, Nafplio

I've even had students named after Greek philosophers before, but oh--the thrill of hearing "Aristotle!" or "Chimera!" shouted down the street... or classical names on nearly every billboard and storefront! 

We took off early this morning, stopping to see the Corinth Canal, geek out in the Sanctuary of Asclepius, be poseurs in the amphitheater in Epidaurus, pick our way around the tomb of Agamemnon and the acropolis in Mycenae, and finally finished up by wandering through the charming streets of Nafplio (where I said no to every piece of matching jewelry my sister wanted to buy).

Pic: Here we're on a very windy hillside in Mycenae with the sea behind us. (The sea always seems present in Greece...) And yes, we're wearing matching blouses.

"Of course, you must absolutely win at your vacation"

 My sister and I have been dreaming of going to Greece for practically our whole lives, and we've been planning it for months now. But it always seemed a bit unreal given the state of the world, our parents' health, my incapacity lately to spend money on myself, etc. But this was my sister's big birthday present, and I decided to just go for it.

I started to get really excited about it this past week and told EM that I must read up on all the places we're visiting so if the guide asked questions I would know the answer. This led EM to gently mock me: Of course, Maya, you must absolutely win at your vacation." (Hence the title of the post.) 

As it happened, I got too busy to actually read up. But then my sister and I have prepared for this our whole lives: from the Greek wedding dolls my father's Greek colleagues gave us when we were babies, to the Greek myths we pored over, the Byrons, the abridged and then unabridged versions of so many Greek classics (epics, plays, poems), Gerald Durrells, Lawrence Durrells, Mary Stewarts, Mary Renaults, --heck, even the Mills and Boons, etc. that loved Greece and Greek culture so much... So I think we'll know most of the answers already... we'll be ok.

We're here for a week and we plan to cover so much. We haven't seen each other since Summer 2023 so today is just for catching up.

Pic: My sister in profile... We were marveling about being able to see the Parthenon from our hotel room.

slide to the left

FB memories brought up this old poster from December 2011...

The Occupy Wall Street movement had spread to university campuses by November 2011 and students had begun organizing. There was a viral video of a policeman casually pepper-spraying students seated on the ground (it later became a meme too).

It started out as a conversation with GG about basics: Pepper-spraying students is wrong. Before long, we were organizing a teach-in with Nathan Brown from UC Davis, Pranav Jani and Steve Conn from OSU, and various Yellow Springers. 

Sometimes people belittle Occupy, but it held the seeds to the popularity of Bernie, the resurgence of the youth labor movement, and current university protests... People supposedly get conservative as they age, but in my case, I think I get more radical and angrier as I get older and learn more.

I'm thinking about these things because I'm proud of At, who is off to Seattle today as an invited speaker to the UFCW about democratically organizing a union. One of our dinner table jokes is that Pete Buttigieg's and Kamala Harris's parents must be disappointed in them--both of them had professor parents whose Marxist politics were probably more radical than that of their kids. We're definitely on more equal footing over at our place.

Three generations; three dogs

Pics: I snagged a photo of Nu, Big A, and his mom/Nu's gran for the family holiday card while we were in Yellow Springs...

And I like how when we pull back a bit from the tight frame of my three people, I can see the happy chaos of Max, Huckie, and Izzy making things a bit more festive.

I can't believe it's December!

Surprise Pizza!

We headed to Ohio this morning for Thanksgiving #2 with my lovely MIL. When we got there, we were a bit confused that all was calm and really relaxed with no signs or smells of cooking. Indeed, there were no signs of Thanksgiving at all. 

So we hung out and chatted and ordered pizza when it was time for dinner and all was well. I'm kind of glad my MIL didn't have to go to all the trouble of starting a big meal all by herself.

Pic: Max and Huck have always been suspicious of the robot vacuum, and it didn't help matters that it seems to be making off with Nu's ukulele here.

flowers, food, and "face-wrestling"

I decided to do the flowers for the Thanksgiving table myself and that reminded me of Mrs. Dalloway saying she'd get the flowers herself. Then I briefly wondered if I was like her in surrounding myself with events as a way of avoiding the void.

Anyway, the day before an event is always suspenseful for me. I tend to make a lot of food, but we have just the one fridge and freezer, so I can't overshop or cook in advance, and it's a gamble if I'll find everything on my list. I didn't find parsnips today. But I suspect no one cares about the parsnips but me.

Pic: Max and Huck in a post-dinner "face-wrestle." There's a lot of groaning-growling-baring of teeth and positioning of jaws in scary ways... and they seem to be having so much fun. It reminds me of my two boy cousins--whoever arrived first at my grandmother's place for the weekend would wait anxiously for the other one, and the minute he arrived, he'd be greeted with the affectionate invitation, "Let's go fight, da!" And then my baby cousins would kinda fight like Max and Huck do now.

other things I was told this week

You told me I had two very different reactions to the separations of two people I was close to. That's so true! I guess I was basing my own response on how the person I was close to was responding to the event. 

The produce person told me by the banana stand that I should "mix and match" bananas from different bunches--some for now, and some for later. I don't know why I've never thought to do that before. I always thought of the bunches as an inviolate collective entity. 

Big A and my massage therapist told me I've been losing weight. I feel like I look the same, but my appetite has been off. Whether it's because of new anti-anxiety meds or because I'm listening to the news, I don't know. 

Pic: Hartrick Trail Wetlands. New to me. Nu's driving instructor told me to check it out when I said I was going to walk in the school parking lot to kill time. It's adjacent to the school grounds and I can kind of see the school buildings in the distance. The high school in 10 Things I Hate About You still rates as the best school building with the best view of all time (Stadium High School, Tacoma, WA; it looks out over the waters of the bay--swoon.).

things I was told this week

Nu's pneumonia came up when I dropped in on the girlfriends yesterday. As I was wondering if I should be around other people, DV, who was such a rock when Nu was in distress, told me that the CDC has changed its recommendations for the pneumococcal vaccine, lowering the age recommendation. I'm getting it. 

As I was dropping Nu off for driving practice this morning, I told them I'm very self-conscious as I drive up to their instructor's car, making sure to keep my hands in the 10-2 position and all that. And Nu told me that actually, now you're supposed to keep your hands in the 9-3 position because of the possibility of airbag injury! And also that perhaps I should drive badly, as it might be helpful. The instructor would cut them some extra slack because they'd be like, Whoa! That kid has a terrible role model. Thanks, Nu.

A person I love love love dearly told me that they're separating from their partner. Twenty plus years ago, when we were all in grad school, they'd brought this person to my Thanksgiving table as a friend. And in a phone call later that week I'd said to them that it seemed like the other person wanted to be more than friends. They got married a few days after Big A and I did. My person has supported their soon-to-be-ex emotionally and financially for nearly two decades and this just fits the overall trend and it sucks and I am heartsick. 

While I was coordinating a welcome gift drop-off for a cousin's new baby, I casually asked my aunt what new adventures she and her husband had been up to since they were now empty nesters... and she told me she'd just divorced him. I wasn't expecting this for all the obvious reasons, but also because they had had an arranged marriage, and I think this is the first divorce in that generation on my side of the family. This is huge and liberating--I'm so happy people are looking out for their happiness without letting tradition and fear of scandal get in the way. 

At did a class on inoculation for other organizers in their old bedroom before family dinner this evening. When I was dropping them off at their place, At told me that in every class, they mention how I talked to one of their Indian coworkers in Telugu and how that helped build a connection. Aw! I feel like a small part of labor history!

Pic: The Red Cedar in spate. (Just past the stadium.)

the election is now

As many, especially those who have voted early have said, the election is not on November 5th--the election is underway, and will be over on November 5th. 

That's tomorrow.

Big A and I plan to vote after work tomorrow. We have a lot of conversations about our votes--or we have the same conversation about our votes--it's quite Sisyphean. Our family and friends are--for the most part--aligned with our values, so being in a place where our voting decision, whatever it is, will annoy/pain/harm/disappoint various leftists amongst them is a new dilemma for us. 

No matter what happens in this U.S. election these two things will still be true: 
1) An ongoing genocide has been supported by U.S. tax dollars.
2) People with MAGA values are nearly 50% of the U.S. electorate.
If we care about either of those things, we must give our effort, time, and care to work beyond the ballot box. 

Pic: MSU Spirit Rock. "Vote for Our Futures" is not just a reminder to vote for our own future; the back of the rock lists people we may want to think of--our immigrant, trans, poor, female, queer, Muslim, disabled, minority, friends + family in the throes of a climate crisis.

gifts

JV and I were having the nerdiest discussion over breakfast about our favorite fonts under the amused and indulgent gaze of the people who love us anyway. Then she showed me an amazing tik-tok from this guy called Wisdom Kaye who dresses like various fonts. All the outfits are designer-sourced, and they are exactly as though those fonts--Times New Roman, Impact, Papyrus--came to life. It's incredible. This is why they say you should have a mentor who is in the under-thirty age range. This is something I would never have chanced upon by myself.

So many of yesterday's guests were incredibly generous. When people asked what they could bring, I said perhaps fireworks, because I don't know anything beyond sparklers. But people also came bearing gifts because Google told them gifts were appropriate for Diwali? My friend SD who wore a headlamp to last year's party (because Diwali is a festival of light, get it?) gift-wrapped a box of LED lightbulbs this time 😂. And there were so many fragrant candles, and candies, and a salt lamp--so, so perfect because those are not things I would buy for myself.

Then there are the gifts that were completely unexpected and packed an emotional punch: Like the bunch of chrysanthemums from someone who was in youth group with Nu and is now at MSU for college. I know they don't drive, so the flowers were probably an extra stop somewhere in their busy college-student day... Like the carefully gift-wrapped set of glasses from an international student, which reminded me of my own international student days and how I would translate everything via currency exchange rates into what it would cost back home... Like the canisters of tea two lovely young people handed me, which I was already looking forward to enjoying, but totally saved me this morning when I realized I was all out of Earl Grey and my in-laws asked if I had something with caffeine in it... Like the paintings my baby cousin made for me... like the mini-poster of Jennifer Bloomer's motto, which I take quite literally apparently and now lives on our fridge...

Yesterday, the henna artist told me at the end of the evening that she'd been eavesdropping on people's conversations as she worked and that I was lucky that I know so many nice people who love me. (I hope that's true and I wish I'd heard these conversations!) But I do know lovely people and I feel absolutely lucky to be in the world with them. If the whole world was filled with the people who filled my home yesterday, I would not be worried about the elections like at all.

Pic: The world is so beautiful. (And I prefer this sunset to yesterday's smoky fireworks.)

Happy Hallowali!

Happy Diwali-ween!

I'm taking the beginning of Diwali celebrations today as an assurance that love endures, and that light perseveres... all Hallow's Eve is actually the same thing, right? 

Nu dressed as Rainbow Dash today and is out with friends. Diwali is a multi-day affair and they have the day off tomorrow to celebrate Diwali anyway. Yay! 

I gather from friends in New Jersey that school districts there have the day off too. When I was at the fireworks store yesterday to buy sparklers for the party, the guys there wished me "Happy Diwali!" All this feels surprisingly mainstream!

I'm excited (and a teensy bit anxious--so many moving parts) about our Diwali party on Saturday--my baby cousin and her friends, a former student and their partner, and my in-laws are coming for the weekend... and to help me prep! 

Pic: Max and Huck with JL and Henry, who has recovered from his amputation like the champion he is!

women's ways

Everyone in a class earlier this week was familiar with the idea of "toxic masculinity," but we had to put some work in to figure out what it might mean for women and other people in male-centric spaces.  

As in how women may have to perform patriarchy and even misogyny in order to get ahead in the workplace. As in does female achievement on male terms equal feminism? As in if a woman leader values profit over human welfare or attacks another country, is it feminist just because a woman is doing it? Let's say... Margaret Thatcher. Sure she is the first woman to be Prime Minister in the UK, but can we count her as a feminist? 

I revisited some of those class discussions as I walked with AK this morning. One of the many things I absolutely love about AK is how she normalizes gentleness and softness in the workplace. She is the first person I know who signed a work email with "Love," and now I feel I can do that too. Her rapport with students is legendary and if there is an initiative to get the college to do better, AK is there in the lead. When I searched my blog for "AK" I found so many instances of why I'm just so lucky to know her. She said something so kind and funny mid-walk this morning, we just stopped to chuckle and hug. I'll treasure that moment. 

Pic: AK is running for office, and this is one of her campaign stickers. (I got her permission to use it here, but I'm going to continue to use her initials so this post doesn't show up in searches.) I LOVE how the "her" part of her name is sized up! 💗

it's... a lot

We did so much at Arches today: Devil's Garden, Landscape Arch, Double Arch, Windows (North, South, the Turret), Pine Tree Arch, Sand Dune Arch, Eden Point. Double Arch was unexpectedly mindblowing for such a simple walk. There are reportedly 2000 arches, and we've barely seen 10%.  

While at Panorama* Point, we decided to return to the park at night to see the night skies without light pollution. I wondered if we should ask a park ranger when the right time to come see the stars would be and Big A said he knew when... "after dark." Har Har. 

So we came back after dark... and goodness--I've never seen stars like that. They were so numerous, I couldn't even make out constellations--it was like I was looking at galaxies layered over each other. We just lay on the cold concrete benches in the lookout area looking up at the sky, holding hands, and marveling in sighs and silence and occasional exclamations. 

Pic: A and me under the soar of Landscape Arch. 

*Let me note that I always have to say this word in my head before I say it out loud. My mom's name is "Manorama" so I'm prone to mispronouncing "Panorama" to rhyme with mom's name. #LaterPost 10/9.