Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Sunday, November 28, 2021

for you say it matters

the wash of water
the hunt of love and desire 
a flush that sweeps us away

stars battle frost while
I tug my mouth into shapes
finding languages I have lost

so bravely and in beauty  
just singing... a beginning
imagining nothing to get there 

Friday, November 26, 2021

post-prandial

Went on a hike with Big A while the grandparents hung out with Nu, Scout, and Huck. We headed to Baker Woods and weren't gone very long, but we were the only ones there and it felt like a different world. 

Later, we packed up the grandparents with snacks, cider, and one of the flower arrangements from yesterday's table, and waved our goodbyes as they headed back to Ohio. 

Then a long soak with Big A, a great heart-to-heart with Nu, + snacks + old sitcoms + naps.  

It was the perfect chaser to yesterday.
 

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Thanksgiving 2021

Time to eat?
(We can't see the three puppies in this one, 
but the fish I was going to feed them
--in the white bowl that doesn't go with anything else--
made it into the picture 😛.)

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

in which I muse

My office, bright (but cluttered) is a good representation of today. 

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving... all the students who were going to come to class came; some no shows--but many of them sent me an email beforehand. I find these last weeks so fulfilling as students work the lessons and discussions of term into building their own research projects. 

There was no one in the English Bay after I was done with classes, and I got noisy moving furniture around in my conference corner, cleaning, tidying, decluttering and making sure my plants would have enough to drink over the break. 

Strange to think we'll be off for almost a whole week. 

And then suddenly term will be over. 

Just like that.

Saturday, November 20, 2021

tradeoff

 


I missed an important deadline and the candlesticks I'd planned to use for the Thanksgiving table broke, but I spent a lot of time snuggled up like this...

(Scout can't jump up onto the sofa as he once could, but Big A picks him up and places him on my feet.)



Friday, November 19, 2021

Karthika Deepam In Michigan

So I got my own lights festival after all 😁. KB drove down from Alma and took me to see the tree lighting downtown. Huge crowds everywhere, a lovely full moon, a lit up capitol building, a sparkly nondenominational tree, and holographic fireworks.

I'd been panicking on what to do about dinner since I would get home after five, but Big A stepped up and made his amazing Brazilian seafood soup and his famous tapioca pao and then Kate brought homemade chocolate macarons (with cardamom! because I'm Indian!) and we feasted.

I know some very good people. And they make delicious things.
 

Thursday, November 18, 2021

pooja-fun

I'm heartsore I cannot be in Pondycherry ("is it full of ponds and cherries?" baby cousin A asked once) tomorrow. 

The pooja is tomorrow, but I bet everyone's already assembling now--finding empty bedrooms, screeching helloes, making plans, and having so much fun for Kartika. As Big A reminded me so helpfully yesterday, it is unlikely that I will ever be able to be at Kartika pooja because it's such a busy time in the academic year. 

We usually did the big festivals like Diwali and Pongal at home or with the other side of the family, but the November full moon festival was always the big event for all the cousins on my mom's side. For many years after I came to the U.S., my favorite aunt would sweetly save the turmeric-soaked wristlets for me to pick up on my next trip home, but I haven't been back in years at this point. The nostalgia is hitting hard this year.

Baby cousin B has been sending pictures on cousin chat to keep me in the loop. This picture has so many of my favorite things--the sea, the little Ganesha temple, the tulsi maadam, the new swimming pool, the effortless green everywhere... Gah. I just wish I could be there for at least 24 hours.

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

the soft dark


Darkness feels deafening tonight. A student at Nu's school has been missing since last week. I do not know this young person or their family, but many of my local friends do. When I asked Nu if they'd seen the missing child recently, they said that they hadn't "in years." That was such a stark reminder that disappearance comes in many forms. 

I caught a picture of this close to full moon through our skylights just before bed--darkness, shadows, dead leaves, and all... it was nevertheless a kind reminder that in an another part of the world, huge numbers of my family are gathering to celebrate the Karthika full moon soon.

Monday, November 15, 2021

full



At stopped by for dinner (parathas) and to weigh in on next week's Thanksgiving Menu, when we hope to see him again.

His tummy is full; my heart is full.

Saturday, November 13, 2021

going on goings on

don't separate me from what I remember
for I sin against completion 
I say I want want so much from this life 
and yet I keep giving it away  

my mom said she found a college friend 
from forty years ago on Facebook
she's a bit proud and shy telling me how
because it's detective shit/stalking

my sister gamely practices a funny line 
from a cartoon only I have seen
we bounce it between us: "back to you"
laughter shimmers in our mouths 

in the richness of boredom I'm dissolving
into blessings, learning lessons
of normalcy, finding myself in some stories 
I've braided out of ordinariness

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

"here for you"

Parenting was on my mind today. 

* When my students don't have parents/good relationships with parents/are going through a particularly hard time, it takes everything not to jump in and be their parent. Big A mentioned that I have gotten so much better at maintaining a professional boundary. Yes... and I know how much of an effort I have to put into it. 

* Celebrated SH's impending parenthood and I'm so excited to hold her newborn and generally be a new mom helper soon.

* I accepted a new CASA case--a child who has been subjected to parental incest-abuse for years. They are surrounded with support and services right now, and I hope I can be another useful tool in their journey.  

*My time with the one human kid and two puppy kids living at home is the highlight of every day. But I don't get very much time with them on weekdays (especially on teaching days) and need to find ways to make them meaningful. Usually it's: a cuddle and then breakfast--we start at 5:45 am! At the end of the day it's: dinner together > a show/game > me conking out with the puppies. It's pleasant and cozy but fairly humdrum.

Pic: My NuNu sneaking a treat from the tray I made for SH's visit. 

Tuesday, November 09, 2021

change of plan?



Haven't vetted the veracity of this, but apparently there's a dog school "in Canada" so dogs don't have to stay home alone, and this appears to be their school bus.


BRB. Going to check if Scoutie and Huckie feel like running away with me.

Sunday, November 07, 2021

discord

for I serenaded the sun today
my mouth a tunnel

                       didn't think of Kapernick's knee
                      then Chauvin's knee
                                                 
for the wind refuses to be silent
as it flicks its tail

                        can't think of Kapernick's knee
                    then Chauvin's knee

         for the war becomes metaphor 
                            only when revolution is near

                             don't think of Kapernick's knee
                    then Chauvin's knee

         for this is a poem that kills poets 
        --whose ghosts live forever 

                            for it thinks of Kapernick's knee
                    then Chauvin's knee
                            

________________________________________
Pic: sunrise and tea on "fall-back" Sunday. 
I wore my hair in a braid and was clearly trying to juggle other strands here as well.

Saturday, November 06, 2021

back story

ripples eddy me round like
an island, like a knot
greedy with fear

in this drift of a year I may
examine one reed then
inherit a whole river

I will no longer burn into 
everything--it holds me
back, turning

into the story of one bird
perched on my hand
forever telling me

I am here--yes, I am here
have been for so long
always singing 

Friday, November 05, 2021

And... Diwali!



With my beautiful, brilliant babies. (Huck is in that first picture too... somewhere!)

We had dinner after pooja, lingering at the table forever, and then we took a starlight walk to help Nu put the chickies to bed. 

I made a payasam (with oats, raisins, coconut, and almonds) that was delicious... but also the laziest sweet one can make (it took ten minutes from start to finish). It has, after all, been a long week. 😇

(Did Diwali go mainstream this year somehow? We received a record number of Diwali greetings from non-Indian friends this year...)


Saturday, October 30, 2021

tight/rope

I like how fear shapes itself
the moment before thought 
startling inching shaking
me alive

In the throb of this time
so borderless and so big
bruising every impulse 
to be here

Friday, October 29, 2021

rally




I started the day feeling less than 100%, but by the time I got to put on this electric blue wig in the evening, I was amped. 

Here I am waiting for Big A to give me a ride to the g/f's halloween party tonight. 

(I'm supposed to be a butterfly... a social butterfly. Ha.)

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

what we got


Big A went to Boston to accept an award and all I got was this cute and fuzzy picture!

It was a sudden trip so there was some scrounging around for childcare coverage, but things worked out fine. I found myself getting a bit antsy as one meeting after my fourth class of the day ran past 5:00 pm, but... I got home by dinner time, got everyone their dinner, and got all the kid and puppy cuddles I could handle. 

Monday, October 25, 2021

contrast



This is MD's collage of different seasons built around the same treescape at Fenner from last year. This year has been all rain. It rained all day today, for instance. I wonder what this year's collage will look like. 

At least being stuck indoors meant I got things off the to-do list like a monster since I had all that new week energy anyway.

Excited for student projects to take off this week. 

Not excited about meeting HR to troubleshoot health insurance for Nu.


Sunday, October 24, 2021

a variety of strikes


<<<When At was over for birthday celebrations on Friday, he left me a little present on the altar. He's been helping with the Kellogg workers' strike and he and his green jacket made it to the Midwestern Modern Twitter account. Fame!

Still busy celebrating Big A's birthday weekend here. Also: UU, OWL, gardening, A hang with JL to celebrate her new place. But also a weekend where I seem to have blown off three parties (a secular muddle of early halloween and karva chauth) due to a combination of work/malaise.

When I complained about the foggy day to EM as I was trying to beg off going on a walk with her, she said we should pretend we were "visiting Scotland or some other place where the dreary weather has been romanticized." My friends are loving, forgiving and so, so smart.