The two on the left are now back in Bangalore.
I started the day stupid sad, but got progressively better as I crossed tasks off my to-do list.
Pic: From family dinner the day before they left. Amma, Chelli, Huck, At, Nu, and Max. I love everyone so much.... but have to say, Huck is the best poser.
We found a four-leafed clover to pack for travel good luck. And Nu helped me with the big suitcases and Big A managed to jenga us into one car with all the luggage despite his dinged-up elbow.
When we got to the airport, it turned out that one of their four suitcases weighed more than allowed (50 lbs). So I repacked it so it (and the other suitcases) came in at 49.5. I felt like a hero because we avoided the 100$ fine.
And I felt like a superhero when our little airport picnic of Parsi omelette sandwiches and veggies from the garden was pronounced perfect. But then they had to head for their gate via TSA and that's when my hero and superhero mantle crumbled and I (we all) (predictably) cried a bit.
And I cried lots more when I got home because Nu and Big A were there to be comforting. My poor long-suffering Big A--I spiraled a bit about my mom growing old, my sister not having a job, and how climate change is going to disproportionately affect places like India.
Anyway... we ate leftovers for dinner (yesterday's ratatouille and yogurt bread) and then I found a giant package of Kinder Bueno that my mom hadn't been able to fit into her luggage and left behind. I try not to eat questionably sourced chocolate, but this package was already here and Nu can't eat it (tree nut allergy), so I set to work. I've eaten seven (maybe eight) things this evening. Each one has two bars.
Pic: Amma and me. Photo by Chelli (baby sis).
My India fam is back from the trip to visit friends and we've been inseparable all day. Time is running out. This is likely my mom's last trip to the U.S. I don't feel like I can ask her to undertake 24-hour travel for me again. It's tough facing it, but my once irrepressible mom is not as hearty or hardy.
My sis and I have shared all the hacks and jokes we'd been saving up for each other. And she now knows all my walking paths, so when I send pictures of scenery, she'll know where they came from.
Big A is doing ok... It's his first wipeout in 35+ years of bicycling and I think that hurts the most.
Three nice things for me this week: 1) I got randomly picked as volunteer of the month at Helping Women Period and I shared that on social media in case other people wanted to get involved too.
2) I got an email from the colleague who runs the travel abroad program conveying some generous remarks from a student. That was nice in itself. I didn't realize until I got a thank you from the provost that the colleague had copied other people too. I thought that was extra magnanimous.
3) One of the editors of a recent thing I sent off wrote to another editor about my piece: "Isn't this just wonderful?" It's not much and doesn't mean anything in terms of production--but it just seemed so cheerful and unfiltered, it has made me smile every time I've thought of it.
Pic: Huck and Max. A bit serious--they like the extra pets with extra fam around, but they're not sure they like sharing me.
I had looked forward to today--on the family calendar as a college orientation day for Nu. But when we got to orientation, kids and families were separated early in the day and I didn't see Nu again until pick up time. Nu met their roommate, gathered some some people who followed them around, got some swag and their ID, and generally seemed to have had a lot of fun. I made the best of things.
After making us dinner, I was looking forward to an evening of quiet reading while Big A went off to ride with his bicycling club and Nu watched old episodes of Rupaul to recuperate from the day... but I got a text message from Big A's Garmin that he'd been in a crash and I was his emergency contact.
Luckily, although he'd wiped out, Big A is alright. We went to the E.R. to get his road rash cleaned and to get some stitches, and that's where I got my quiet reading in this evening. We're back home now.
Off to Grand Rapids today to visit the #1 Sculpture Park in the USA (are there others?) and then dinner at a friend's place until late at night when we had to break away to do our nightly video call with dad.
Already mom is feeling some anxiety about being away from dad.
Already I feel like I'm going through the motions and not enjoying this moment as much as I could be. I know I'll look back on this trip... I know we couldn't have done more, but I think I could do better compartmentalizing some of my grief about SLE so not making more of this amazing time we have together doesn't become another regret to tote.
Pic: Sis, Nu, and mom at Meijer Gardens. The majestic greenhouses are in the background.
I can't believe it has been a week (since my fam arrived, since SLE died... how is life so unrelentingly incessant?).
My sister and I took off for an early morning hike. We did a couple of midday ones last week, but the heat seemed to exacerbate her sadly near-constant migraine, so we thought we'd try a sunrise trek today.
Later in the afternoon a matinee of Incident at Our Lady of Perpetual Help at our local regional Theater. So hilarious (and Irish!) that when Nu and Big A heard about it at dinner they wanted to see it too, so I'm taking them next week.
Pic: Being meta about my sister's tee and photography at the Beal Gardens pond.
I really wanted to cancel this party... but I'd just invited so many people, some when I bumped into them randomly, that I was afraid that people would show up anyway.
So we carried on, and it was kinda nice to see people and see people having fun. There were flower crowns and butterfly backdrops for selfies and a bonfire for wishes and people stayed late into the night...
1) Trip to Ikea with Nu this morning. Our plan was to blast our Indian (Hindi, Telugu, + Tamil) playlist and I would translate key parts of the chorus for Nu. But the first few songs had predominantly English lyrics. "Oh, are they saying, 'Take the world and paint it red'?" Nu asked archly of this song, for instance. So we were laughing about that, and then Nu fell asleep. On the way back Nu played me their new fave artist--a Swedish rapper called Bladee (who raps in English). The auto-synth gave me a headache, but I was a good sport because the lyrics provided ample cues to talk about mental health, relationships, drugs, and sex.
2) I fixed my bad record of not submitting any poetry this year by turning in a submission last week... and received a rejection. (And immediately began to worry that I'll NEVER place another poem EVER again.)
3) In yet another marathon gabfest this evening with the CUN(ext)T(uesday) friends, I got excellent advice as usual. I need to work on making those long overdue (by years and years) medical appointments. I feel I'm very in tune with my body and don't need preventative tests, but I'm probably just telling myself that because I find mammograms and pap smears very uncomfortable. And while vaguely on medical subjects, I have to say the woman who helped me place Nu's contact lenses order was an absolute gem--not only did she find a $150 rebate, she called me five minutes after our call to say she'd convinced my patchy eye-insurance to pay up another $120.
Pic: Three canoes on The Red Cedar from my long walk yesterday.
A day for visitors!
L and I took a long summery walk in the morning and then L disappeared for a while and showed up bearing this month's bookclub book and a ton of cut lilacs from her garden. The whole downstairs smells so heady.
LV stopped by later for tea and treats and we just jabbered away through tons of stuff and pizza delivery and he helped me break up Max's excited and immediate friendship with the pizza man + desire to explore his van. LV didn't leave until the imminent arrival of my C U N(ext)T(uesday) club, where he rightly felt he would be out of place.
Big A and Nu crept in during the short time no one was around to sneak some pizza for dinner before doing their own thing (nap before work, swim with friends).
It was supposed to be pizza and movie night, but the girlfriends did not pick a movie and we just talked for hours instead. We're going to do the celebrations everyone feels they missed out on--BL didn't get a bachelorette party during the pandemic, for instance.
Everyone agreed that I need a third puppy, so I either have the best friends or they're all enablers. I got to confess in a safe and supportive space that the other day I thought Nu was kissing me goodnight, but they were actually kissing me goodbye, and I didn't realize until the morning that they had not spent the night at home. I did not know where my kid was at 10 pm or any point after. Yikes.
Pic: Peonies from my walk with L this morning. What even are these colors?! I love summer.
(Incidentally, "accommodate" is a word Magic Johnson, once a player at this very stadium, used very inventively. As in: "I did my best to accommodate as many women as I could." They have his name up there and it reminded me.)
Anyway, it was a full day--breakfast with one set of grandparents, lunch with another, then off to pick up people for the ceremony, and back at our place for dinner... Nu is currently away celebrating with friends.
I can't wait to get into my summer routine. Tomorrow we have an all-day department workshop. So perhaps I can start from this weekend, which conveniently happens to be the beginning of June? Yay!
Pic: Watching as the students throw their caps into the air. How much hope for the future is gathered in this one place! I clapped for each and every graduate and am so happy and hopeful for all of them. I wish admin could have found a way to spend a moment to honor the senior student who died last year.
Nu's grad party!
It was going to be outside, but then it looked like rain, so we moved everything indoors. The house was full of people who've known Nu since they were a baby/toddler and it wasn't just me getting emotional about this celebration.
Nu who'd consented to this party just to make me happy admitted at the end of the evening that they'd enjoyed being made a fuss of... !!! YAY.
I set out my kumkum bharani for people to place a vermillion blessing on Nu's forehead before they left. And my favorite thing about my multi-ethnic community is how each person made this Hindu tradition their own. While some people placed a dot (bindi/bottu), some drew a cross, or a crescent, and even... a smiley face!
Pic: Nu making a silly face because I asked for a pose. Behind them, their cake that says, "Grad U Ate." (I learned what the kids were saying and the pun wrote itself!)
This morning, there were some rooms at a hotel nearby, so we're all set.
Also, I didn't set up plans with NJ/NY people for the day after the reception, which looks free.
And... I didn't finish inviting people to Nu's grad party next week. I should get on that too.
Today was just lovely. So much time with Max, Huck, and Nu (who conveniently had senior skip day). Then I watered the zillion plants. Most of them made it without me or water for two weeks! Some dry leaves, but nothing a few good soaks won't make up for. Only the the bleeding hearts and some herbs, gave up. Sounds like I'm throwing old-fashioned insults, but those are the literal plants that didn't make it.
A long, lingering dinner catching up on all the little details of the past two weeks was balm for my soul. Also yummy--we combined, polished up, and then polished off two Thai dishes Big A had experimented with over the weekend.
Pic: Things abloom in London. I haven't taken a single photo since I got home.
There are thirteen of us at the table. But just our awesome, regular selves. (No Jesuses or Judases.)
Headed for home come morning! At least half the class has journaled about not being ready to head home. Not me though.
I was both right to be worried about the tornado yesterday, and judging from the photos of the devastation I've been seeing, I wasn't nearly worried enough! I did tell Big A that I thought he should call in back-up and go home to check on the kids, but he talked me down. And I quote: "It’s inconceivable that our house alone was hit by a tornado without damage to any other structures. Meaning if Nu was under rubble EMS would already be on our street." And later, "I have multiple sick patients right now and multiple procedures….I can’t leave anytime soon regardless." Plenty of room for a fight, but I'm just glad everyone is alright.
Pic: A lucky restaurant find--a "food hall" with a variety of cuisines. So perfectly in keeping with our "cosmopolitan" theme.
I think I'm sick.
Of course, the correct response to that (on our family chat anyway) would be "Boo, you 'ho" (without the hard "r").
It could be the pollen merrily floating around. I've dosed myself liberally with Lemsip and am currently loopier than ever.
Pic: Our picnic at Hyde Park today. People declaiming from set Hyde Park pieces (Orwell, Shaw, Marx, C.L.R. James, William Morris) or topics they're passionate about (The Globe's R&J, Bram Stoker's Dracula, guns in general.)
And a good day to revisit the wonder of how the world has only two words for tea: Tea if by Sea, Cha if by Land.
Back home in Michigan, the morels are up. I want to tell Summer to hold back until I get back.
Feeling a bit lighter as we're are halfway through our trip and the countdown to home is ON.
And when I called my mom for Mother's Day, I heard India and Pak have a ceasefire! I'm so relieved!!
I managed to do all the things today:
I'm mostly packed (carry-on only for two weeks).
Took Nu to see Sinners again per request. (My THIRD time.)
Watered my zillion plants and asked them to stay happy and healthy until I return, please!
Decorated for At's birthday, got the cake photo-ready, and packed her presents.
At is 26!!! Celebrated with At, dropped presents off at her place and then went to dinner with At and friends.
Booked it early to go to the CASA gala. (I couldn't let them down...)
Came home and realized that I'd left the student health info and travel health insurance docs in my office AT WORK, so I made a two-hour trip to retrieve them in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. This is the part I didn't plan for and could have done without.
Now I'm checked-in and waiting for Big A to drop me off at the airport when he wakes up.
Pic: FB reminded me that 15 years ago we hired a party bus to take At and a bunch of friends, cousins, and grandparents to a Dave and Busters to celebrate turning 11. (At and Nu corner right. How cute, chubby, and kind of portable! And Big A just beyond them... his hair!)
Today, I had a long tea with JG and she got kind of bashful at the end of our visit and then offered me some of her mom's jewelry, because she's always said that her mom (who passed away thirty years ago and I never got to meet) would have loved me. From everything I hear, the feeling's mutual. I was nearly moved to tears by the honor and and have picked out two pieces that I will treasure.
And this evening, in unexpectedly terrific news, my mom called to say she might make it to Nu's graduation party!
The thing is... I've been keeping a secret from her that I should probably disclose to her before she gets here. The secret's not wholly mine, but it's my mom, so I'm going to have to step up. That's dilemma #1.
Friday is At's birthday. I was planning to do family dinner with At and then hurry to a fancy dinner I RSVPed "yes" to because I was nominated for a CASA award. (This is what the fam encouraged me to do, and they were going to accompany me too.) From the detailed itinerary I was sent this afternoon, however, it looks like I did NOT win the award. Would I be a dick if I changed my RSVP now? This is dilemma #2.
And finally, I will be far away from my kids on Mother's Day as I'm scheduled to be in the U.K with my travel Spring Term. Should we celebrate long distance, or arrange a M.U.M. Day (Make Up Mother's Day) as we did last year?
Pic: I love dandelions. Lately, I've been torturing myself with thoughts about having let Scout play in a nearby park with no dandelions, which means the place may have been sprayed with toxic chemicals, which means he may have ingested some, which means that may have caused his tumor, which means Scout would be alive if I had been a bit smarter.
Lisa and I walked to Daffodil Hill, through a bit of Baker Woods, the Children's Garden, and the Horticultural Gardens and met up with Jeanie at The Broad Art Museum... which was inconveniently closed today. We meandered through Beal Gardens and the Riverwalk back to dinner.
I thought I'd leave Lisa and Jeanie alone to get some one-on-one time (they've known each other for over fifteen years!) to sprint ahead and get dinner started. But when I picked up the mail and turned the corner into the driveway, I saw them sitting on the porch!
Meeting friends you've made online is such an affirming experience--there's such a wealth of already shared experience and so much to talk about. We had a lively dinner with the family--talking about books and movies and what we haven't read, Max and Huck eating sorbet off a spoon under the table. Goodbye came too soon.
Afterwards, At wanted to go see Sinners, so the fam headed to the movies. I closed my eyes through some of the more gory parts and may have accidentally (and characteristically) fallen asleep. The music and score were tremendous. (I love Ryan Coogler's work in Black Panther. We actually bought Fruitvale Station, but I haven't yet been able to steel myself to actually watch it.)
Pic: Jeanie, Lisa, me (and behind us Zaha Hadid's amazing construction for The Broad).
