Olympia

My sister and I haven't shared a bedroom in thirty years. 

On some level--I think--it makes us revert to feeling like kids. We hung out with a delightful couple from New Zealand at the Museum and we were being respectful as though they were our elders. It was only later that it occurred to us that their kids were around At's age so they are our peers!

Today we spent a rainy day in Olympia trooping through the archaeological ruins of the ancient Olympic site and then exploring the museum for much, much longer. (We're museum people not sporty people.) I learned that the reason Olympia is so far inland is because the organizers wanted to diminish the risk of the games being attacked by seafaring enemies. 

Pic: Today we have matching handloom wraparound skirts from India and were showing them off while the guide was getting our tickets. I heard my friends say we should get matching jewelry in the comments and I may allow something small and meaningful. I think I'll know it's right when/if I see it...

Corinth, Epidaurus, Mycenae, Nafplio

I've even had students named after Greek philosophers before, but oh--the thrill of hearing "Aristotle!" or "Chimera!" shouted down the street... or classical names on nearly every billboard and storefront! 

We took off early this morning, stopping to see the Corinth Canal, geek out in the Sanctuary of Asclepius, be poseurs in the amphitheater in Epidaurus, pick our way around the tomb of Agamemnon and the acropolis in Mycenae, and finally finished up by wandering through the charming streets of Nafplio (where I said no to every piece of matching jewelry my sister wanted to buy).

Pic: Here we're on a very windy hillside in Mycenae with the sea behind us. (The sea always seems present in Greece...) And yes, we're wearing matching blouses.

getting there

Our tree is up, and here we are trying to take a picture for our holiday card. This year's "theme" is Indian scarves from my closet, and although I just tied Huck's on as a bandanna, it's already unravelling...

Somehow I'm the shortest human in the frame, 3/6 are smiling, and 4/6 are looking toward the camera... Perhaps it can't get better than this? I kind of like the excited and slightly wild vibe.

Offices seem deserted at work, but it's SO BUSY! My online Gaza course is winding down too. The big challenge here is to pare down my lecture slides as students are accessing materials from internet cafes, so big files are a challenge to download. Also, it's grad school application deadline time, so recommendation letters are due everywhere. Over at my regular job, it's finals week, and grading is piling up. It's a breathless kind of busy. It will get better this weekend.

Also, Nance commented that I must be proud of At, and--omigosh--I so am. In 2022, it was pretty heady and I wrote, "We’re so very proud of At, our labor organizer extraordinaire, who made national news for leading the first Chipotle in the country to unionization. I like these articles featuring At and coworkers:

Slate "Two mad-online leftists. The Starbucks-worker playbook. And an accordion."

Labor Notes "How Zoomers Organized the First Chipotle Union"

Jacobin "Chipotle Workers on How They Won the First Chipotle Union in the United States"

Washington Post "Michigan Chipotle outlet the chain’s first to unionize"

Related story in the Washington Post "The labor market is still red-hot — and it’s helping union organizers"

NPR "Chipotle in Michigan first to unionize for the fast-food chain nationwide"

let's talk about sex and sex ed, baby

For months now, I have thought the name of the new host of our local station's Morning Edition was Malorie DeGay, and I thought it was thoroughly charming. I just learned it's actually BE GAY, and I couldn't love it more. 

Speaking of gay icons, I'm really loving Chappell Roan's music right now. There's something so retro, fun, and transgressive about her music, especially the choral work. If you've listened to "Pink Pony Club," tell me it doesn't remind you of the 80s... of Cyndi Lauper. My favorite song is actually "Good Luck, Babe." It's super catchy and it wasn't until four or five listens in that I figured out that it's not just about an ex (You can kiss a hundred boys in bars/shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling") but also someone who has shoehorned themselves into a heteronormative relationship ("when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night/with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife). Nu thinks it's hilarious that I like this song and has been declaring at the dinner table that "mama is going to go pure lez now" while looking pointedly at their dad. I think it's safe to say the pneumonia is in check and they're back to being their regular cheeky self. 

In regular old sex ed., today I learned that my first-year composition class did not know there were free condoms at the Health Center--how?!?!

And finally, today a student who took a hard stance in their research on porn stating that there is absolutely No Ethical Consumption of Porn gave a presentation that had everyone in class riveted. And as if that wasn't enough, they were inspired to create a piece of art--it's a woman's torso inscribed with porn search terms and "the erogenous zones have objects stuck on them to symbolize objectification." I was marveling at the abundance of thought, time, and effort they had put into this work when they held it out to me and said they wanted me to have it. I don't think I'll ever get over the sheer generosity of this. 

Pic: The new piece of art entrusted to me is now in my office.

CAP-ital

 

Nu is better; the grandbaby is here! (But in the NICU, so haven't seen them yet.)

And I had a nerdy time at NWSA. 

One minute I'm squealing because I just saw a conference friend, the next I'm squealing in my head because I saw a feminist icon. It was terrific to be able to say "land back" or "cite Black women" or wear Palestinian support without controversy. It was terrific seeing former students--especially JV, who came all the way from Kalkaska. 

Both my panels went well. Really well, actually. My first panel with EM on "Critical Connectivity" was in a plenary room and it was quite full and very engaged. The second on "Narrative Medicine" was at 5 when people usually head off for dinner but it was still well attended.

Pic: And of course SR and I took our annual Madras Madcap photo as we have since 2017. (We both had some college years in Madras and love wearing hats, so we bring hats to wear for this photo--not a stretch since it's usually in November.) She gave me the bracelet I'm wearing, it's made of an engraved coconut shell.

right to party

I spent weeks prepping, and everything went really well (I think!)!!  There was a photo booth, a henna artist, a craft table, a cards table (it's traditional to gamble, I set out dominoes for people to stake), some dupattas for those who wanted to add some desi flair, and a banging playlist. I wish there had been more dancing. 

I'm not sure we'll be in a house this big next year, so might as well use it, right? And our house was FULL. Still is in a way--all the bedrooms are occupied, and poor Nu is sleeping in the rumpus room. (It's an Indian kid rite of passage-- giving up your room to assorted "cousins.") 

The afterparty was curling up with Big A on the sofa and finally eating some food and getting waited on by the fam; having Nu request that I share the playlist with them (WIN); and seeing At's text saying it was an "incredible party." (We stayed on text to talk about Sally Rooney. Do they have stellar politics? Absolutely. Are they a good writer? Maybe? At: "sometimes I feel like they really are capturing something though" "there's this beautifully understatedly marxist scene in a church later in the book that has stayed in my mind forever." I'm not at that part yet... Ok then. )

Anyway, the party is over. I spent weeks prepping, and it was such a nice distraction when I found myself slipping into a funk. Now I have nothing to distract myself with, and have only serious, scary, and sad things to think about...  c'est la vie.)

Pic: Fireworks. I'm happy to see all my people having a good time. (Can we pretend that the smoke is an aurora borealis or something?)

What I heard: the paranoia and plaudits edition

Paranoia: 
I wasn't at my best. It was the end of a long day and I was huffing and puffing my way to the student union to drop a box of clothes off for a clothing swap when a kind colleague stopped me on the sidewalk: "How are you doing?" As a third of our faculty are supposed to be fired by December 15th, this made me feel some sort of way. I burst out: "Omigosh, what did you hear?" He was taken aback, and I was so effing embarrassed.

Plaudits:
I took some consolation from this text exchange from a colleague in the art department later in the day:

"You were a brief conversation topic in my class today!
Seems that the consensus is that you’re awesome!" 

(I think it had something to do with me showing my "Bad Babes and Mad Men" class the difference between the timid Judith painted by Caravaggio versus the powerful and determined Judith painted by Artemisia Gentileschi, who had been a survivor of sexual assault herself.) 

Pic: Red Ivy by Brody Hall on the MSU campus. 

busy and strange

I threw on a mask for the second day in a row... I guess it's the season? Yesterday the queer students' alliance organized Masqueerade and I went to celebrate them. The older I get, the more delighted I am about every little sweet thing young people do. I'm so here for it. 

Today was our friends' Halloween party. Big A worked hard on his costume ordering things online weeks in advance. He is Adam Yauch (R.I.P.) a.k.a. MCA as Nathan Wind as Cochese in the Beastie Boys music video for Sabotage (1994). I kinda forgot all about today's party because I had a late work night, we had a house guest with whom I was up late, and then I had to prep and teach my Gaza class early this morning, attend a two-hour meeting where I was elected Secretary to The Michigan Academy of Science, Arts, and Letters etc. But I found the feathered mask that has been hanging on my mirror forever and a peacock-patterned wrap and went as a "strange bird." 

Pic: There's too much going on in this picture--it's so busy and strange and we're an odd pair, for sure.

Athithi Deivo Bhava

I looked up from gathering my things to see the host's father talking to his daughter, pointing at me from across the room accusingly, and saying something about "that girl..." My crime? I was trying to leave without taking food home with me. So I was properly chastised and packed up with leftovers.

It was lovely to take a break and celebrate an early Diwali with the girlfriends, play with some delicious babies, eat some delicious food, and celebrate life and light today.

The thing with the food reminds me that according to legend, Alexander the Great is supposed to have said that in all his conquests, he'd never encountered hospitality as pronounced as that in India. And that always made me wonder (1) how can you tell if the people you conquered are acting hospitable or servile (2) the Greeks and Persians whom Alexander conquered before he got to the Indians also make a big deal of hospitality in my experience (to this day), so I'm not sure what he was talking about. 

The title of this post is from the Sanskrit saying "the guest is (like a) God," which people like to drop into conversation. 

Pic: A crop of me from a group photo today--I tried a thing with bangs, my first time since giving myself pandemic bangs early in 2020.

marking myself safe

It has been a tough week, but I'm still here. 

One of my besties sent me this meme to remind me that I don't have to be super nice to everyone else while I'm feeling terrible. (The small font at the bottom says, hilariously, "Hello 911? How are you?")

Big A is jokingly pretend-placing bets with the kids on whether I'll be hospitalized for exhaustion or a mental breakdown and whether it'll be by Thanksgiving or Christmas.

But I AM doing things for myself. For instance, I had meetings all day, but I made the time to make and attend a long overdue medical appointment. (My finger is still splinted and I guess the days of just expecting my body to heal over are over?)

Also, I went to book club although I didn't quite finish Niall Williams' This is Happiness. It's a delightful, charming, poetic novel set in Ireland (and I should love it for that anti-colonial attribute alone) but I guess I wasn't in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. What I did enjoy, however, was sitting with a glass of wine and my book club friends while they cursed up a storm and exchanged GOTV stories from the trenches. My multigenerational friendships with women (this book club is mostly in their seventies) are some of the greatest blessings in my life. 

Currently, I'm wondering if it's worth it to go to bed as the Saturday class is at 7 am our time. 

Pic: This picture reminds me of the time I was so tired as an undergrad, I tripped over a beanbag and then reflexively apologized to it. Good times.

entering the scene

still all these years later 

and probably always 

I will know how 

                     even in fall's dull decay 

                     even as I am emptied

                     how rich the world

how it reads many books all 

at once even as I strive

to get through one

                     I wish I didn't lose plots

                     as if I had holes in my 

                     hands and my head

I've even lost the character 

I used to be--who waits

for me to return

                     all her soul's myriad lights 

                     merely dormant mirrors

                     for right now  

________________

Note: I'm trying to escape. I'm playing word games in word worlds because things in the world are too horrific. Another refugee camp (Jabalia) and another hospital (Al Aqsa) were bombed today. The eleven students from Gaza who had signed up for the online course, "Literature Survey 2: Romanticism to Post-Modernism," neither showed up to our weekly class meeting nor responded to the class materials. If this were a regular class, I'd be worried things weren't going well, but in this extraordinary circumstance, I'm so worried something has happened to all my students.

Pic: Autumn colors and orange koi who came up to say hello. (Radiology Gardens; from a walk with LB. Big A and I took a walk right after this one. We got rained on, but stubbornly persisted for a full Super Sparty loop.) 

coming back around

Friends and family in the path of Hurricane Milton are beginning to "mark" themselves safe; I hope that continues. For right now, it feels lovely to be back home where everything is normal and human-sized (as opposed to thousands of feet tall or deep à la Arches and Canyonlands). 

And on my first full day back, these four beautiful encounters felt like blessings.

1) When I went to pick up the holy basil (Tulsi) plant from the people selling it, they turned out to be a South Indian mother-daughter pair who were so, so nice. The daughter was relocating to the U.K. and when I told them that I had done my doctorate in the U.K., she turned out to be an Oxford Alumna too. At that point, they--naturally--invited me to come in and have "coffee and tiffin." 

2) Although it was mostly an intro to their online tech and learning platform (Moodle), there was a sense of solidarity at the Zoom meeting for the volunteer Gaza instructors. (The initiative is led by Lille University in France and hosted by AnNajah University in Palestine.) I gulped when the admin said it would be good to record lectures because students may not have internet access or electricity at class meeting times. Most of the other instructors were men, so when I spotted someone who appeared to be a woman, I Facebook-friended them like it was 2006. Then KK and I had a heartfelt exchange about why we were doing this and swore comradeship. 

3) Finally, and for no reason I can think of, my masseuse AM decided to gift me today's massage. First I demurred, then I refused outright... but she shut me down by saying she knew I would respect her decision. This feels too, too much--massaging is strenuous work and a whole hour out of her workday is too generous. When I asked her, she merely smiled and said, "What goes around comes around." Which is inscrutable but fair, I guess. But she doesn't know much about me and I really haven't ever done anything special for her. (Although I clearly need to now. Ideas welcome.)

4) Pic: It's late in the year, but I think this is a fritillary? They were just soaking up the sunshine and doing that thing where they open and close their wings--as though in pure pleasure. I kind of felt like that myself at odd moments during the day. 

it's... a lot

We did so much at Arches today: Devil's Garden, Landscape Arch, Double Arch, Windows (North, South, the Turret), Pine Tree Arch, Sand Dune Arch, Eden Point. Double Arch was unexpectedly mindblowing for such a simple walk. There are reportedly 2000 arches, and we've barely seen 10%.  

While at Panorama* Point, we decided to return to the park at night to see the night skies without light pollution. I wondered if we should ask a park ranger when the right time to come see the stars would be and Big A said he knew when... "after dark." Har Har. 

So we came back after dark... and goodness--I've never seen stars like that. They were so numerous, I couldn't even make out constellations--it was like I was looking at galaxies layered over each other. We just lay on the cold concrete benches in the lookout area looking up at the sky, holding hands, and marveling in sighs and silence and occasional exclamations. 

Pic: A and me under the soar of Landscape Arch. 

*Let me note that I always have to say this word in my head before I say it out loud. My mom's name is "Manorama" so I'm prone to mispronouncing "Panorama" to rhyme with mom's name. #LaterPost 10/9.

delicate like silly goose

Our hotel is right on a bend of the Colorado River, and it’s such a treat to see the water from our windows. I started the day with some leisurely yoga. We got breakfast in Moab and gifts for the kids (it’s always socks/tees plus a stuffie for Nu and a snowglobe for At as they have collections from their toddler travel days + treats for Scout/Huck/Max if there’s something special).

Then it was time to head for our reserved timed entry at Arches, and we did two amazing hikes: Delicate Arch and Park Avenue.

Delicate Arch is of course the iconic arch that is on everything from merchandising to UT license plates. Most of the way there, I was a monkey chattering away and scampering up the arid landscape and bald rock. But then I had a bit of a panic attack at the end of the hike as I clambered onto the crest and felt the winds buffeting me. I’d have to walk down to the arch, which is perched on the lip of a hollow, and I started imagining myself tripping or being blown hundreds of feet into the depths of the hollow. (I mean, the plaque did say people die on this hike every year—and it didn’t specify how.) And then someone's water bottle slipped from their grasp and fell into the hollow and I could see what a fall might look like in sickening detail. 

But... I really wanted to stand under the arch. Big A was fine with not standing under the arch if I didn't want to but was ready to help me get there if I wanted to do that (He really is a perfect hiking partner!). After a few minutes of sitting on the warm rock, I took courage from all the other people doing it, and we made it... very slowly (and probably comically). 

Pic: Big A and me under Delicate Arch. LOL at me clutching Big A in fear and leaning into him. I did warn the kind stranger who took this photo that I was going to be very slow getting into position. I like to think I'm delicate like a bomb, not a flower--but this time I was just a silly goose. #LaterPost 10/9.

comments and connections

Because of Nance's exhortation to vote hard for Langston Hughes, I found the work of Bruce Weigl through her comments. Here's his amazing and timely poem Autumn Leaves.

In other news, the Gaza course, which was supposed to start yesterday has been postponed to next week. StephLove had voiced concerns about internet connectivity in Gaza when I first mentioned it--and that's one of the reasons.  I hope they are able to resolve that issue. I also hope they're able to give me a little bit of a heads-up about which course I'll be teaching, so I can prep classes ahead of time.

I was so amused that Baby Engie's go-to fib for her hand injury in high school was apparently to claim it happened in a bar fight, according to a comment yesterday. While I didn't get into a fight, our team (Big A, me, + our friends SD and AH) handily (heh) won first prize at our local bar trivia (25$$$$$$), which we promptly used for our pizza and drinks.

Pic: We are the champions! Pictured here with our prize gift card before we spent it.

"punched a shark"

When a student asked me what had happened to my finger (Big A splinted it) and I started my boring story about the vacuuming, they suggested I just tell people that I "punched a shark." It's all well for them, they're from California, and where am I gonna find a shark in Michigan, but it's a cute idea :). 

My Spring term travel course to England is slightly over-enrolled, but I'm going to roll with that. I'm excited to start making arrangements... but my first task will be to update the Spotify playlist for the course. 

Also, what's happening in the world?! I took the weekend off for a sanity pause and we're basically on the brink of WWIII and my feed is full of apocalyptic images of flooding in Appalachia. I can't swim, so my empathy and horror are practically visceral. This world-life balance is an abyss, really.

Pic: I'm still in my work clothes, Max is curled into my side, Huck really thinks I'm going to play with their drooly toy, I set my passport down for a sec to take this pic... I was about to take a picture of my passport to send to my sis who is planning a trip for us in December. Everything will be better by December, right?

painfully random

Yesterday at the baby shower (which I keep thinking of as the "party" for some reason and which it kind of turned into, I guess) a Cage The Elephant song started playing on the speakers and it really took me back to their high-energy concert... wait... was that just earlier THIS MONTH?! 

Quick check--and yes, it was on the 10th. Anyway, I didn't do much today except water all my plants, clean, and make dinner. But by the end of lugging the vacuum around two floors, I noticed my ring finger seemed a bit stiff. It was still hurting at dinner, so Big A took a look.

He thought I should take my wedding ring off before it swelled up anymore. So I did. And it feels odd to be without it. I don't wear an engagement ring, and I don't take my wedding band off at work, at night, etc. (Neither does Big A, actually.) Or it would feel odd if my finger didn't hurt so much. I have no idea what might be going on. Am I allergic to vacuuming, maybe? Too old to vacuum?

Pic: Big A and me at the Cage the Elephant concert, glassily waiting for the auditorium to fill. We got there way too early and were stuck watching a country opening act whose name I've since forgotten. Except Big A called them "Winona Sugarbush" and that I do remember.

what I should have said

I wrote to you a few years later
with congratulations on your 
powerful wounds

for your fate dressed as normalcy

for your pomp shrill and shiny

as new change 

you thank me for my ceremony
my choreography of care
in these small wars

that can bring only small victories

no, not even that--they bring 

only small feelings--

where lightness and excess play

with echoes from excuses

and fill with waiting 

_______________________________

Pic: I've consistently been late (only by a couple of minutes, but still!) to my Thursday-before-class-walk-meetings with KPB this semester, so my sole goal this morning was to be at our meeting point before she arrived. And I did it! It was such a gorgeous day... I will miss these bright blue skies when it's winter in Michigan. We're getting geared up for homecoming this weekend on campus.

colorless green idea

The more things change... the more they are changed, I guess? 

Pictures of me passed out with puppies on top aren't new... but this one with Max in the crook of my knees reminded me so much of the last one Big A took before we knew Scout was sick... mostly because of the way *I* am sleeping so furiously. 

Noam Chomsky (in his pre-political activist 1950s avatar as a serious linguist) constructed a sentence I've always loved. He gives us "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously"  as an example of an utterance that makes sense grammatically but is semantically nonsensical. Really? I think I might be a colorless green idea... I sleep so furiously!

In other news, Nu seems recovered from their cold and has really been riding their new name high. It seems they're exempt from all chores and duties and get to pick dinner every day this week? "It's a once in a lifetime occasion," I was told cheerfully :). Fair enough. Also, we gave Nu presents yesterday--it's a birth-day, kinda? And we got to thinking how we don't give babies presents when they're born--it's more like here's a fresh diaper, if you make it to a year, we'll throw you a party then... Rude!

A Nu Name!

Nu's baby name has stayed the same, but their formal name change became legal today! We've been using their new formal name for a few years now, and it suits them so well, so I didn't think I'd get emotional at the court hearing... but of course I did.

It was such a relief to have everything go so smoothly, and it was such a blessing to have the entire experience with our courts--from the filing clerk all the way to the judge--be so respectful, supportive, and affirming. 

The judge took the time to compliment Nu, find out how to correctly pronounce their Sanskrit name, remark upon their smile... They also exempted us from having to publish the name change and sealed the documents as a measure of protection and support for an underage child living out their authentic life. I am so grateful for these kindnesses--I know too many parents from states like Texas and Florida who basically have had to flee as their kids were in danger from the anti-trans laws that have gone into effect over the last couple of years. I wish our experience were more universal.

Nu was sick today and stayed home from school. I kept them fortified with gingery lemon soup, honey tea, and banana muffins (the last item by request). We'll celebrate with a proper celebratory dinner and cake (with our At!) on Wednesday. 

Pic: Nu with Big A at our Zoom court hearing.