Oh, say...

...do you see the baby buck waiting for us by the garden shed at the end of the driveway? Max and Huck sure didn't. It surprises me how oblivious these guys seem to be to the world around them. They're mostly interested in family, other humans, *sometimes* other dogs, and like to chase squirrels and birds for fun. (And they're hilariously surprised when they find them stationary!)

In other silly baby news, I wished everyone a Happy November because that's something my mom used to do every month, and now it's up to me to carry that on.

May it be a happy November! (I won't be having a watch party, because when we moved into this house in 2016, one of our first parties was on election night, and... uh-oh, I might be scarred.)

Pic: Us returning home from an evening walk.

halloween (hallucination)

Trying to say "yes" to more things, right now, so I went to the damn Halloween party.

But I still hate on AI. My costume is an "AI Hallucination." I'm meant to be a Snow Queen (which is why I'm wearing my actual wedding tiara), but AI misunderstood it as "Snow Cone" hence the rest of my weird costume.

Pic: With L.
 

Happy and Happy

BigA's Birthday! We're in Kalamazoo for his 30th college reunion weekend as well. 

It feels odd to be celebrating without the kids, but this is so A's speed, and we're having a great time, and it has been fun hearing all the old stories once again.

Pic: The restaurant found out we were celebrating his birthday (because I told them!) and they took this polaroid of us. What a cute idea!

love is so easy

Nance and Jules have filled my life with so much support and love and chuckles (even off-blog via group texts and chats and cards and books and presents and whatnot) that today was the easiest day, basking in their banter, tasting Nance's famous pesto at her beautiful lake house, being silly, being serious, being together.

I felt some anxiety undertaking a long road trip by myself (because of the accident last month) but it was time to get over that anyway. And I spent the hours getting there and back reviewing the portfolio I have to turn in on Monday. 

Pic: Jules and me. That gorgeous lake is a stand in for Nance; Pic by Rick who was awesome in all the ways.
 

goddess power

Navaratri--this is the second year I haven't hosted. I think I need another year (at least).

But I'm always happy to celebrate with the T-U's who have the biggest kolu display (it wraps around the room, this is about a quarter of it) I've ever seen here or back in Chennai (here's mine for comparison). The way they somehow manage to make this simultaneously "grand" and "warm" is a marvel in itself.

Pic: With my lovely hosts. I seem very tall today.

two moments...

 

I spent such a beautiful lifetime in these arms... 

Pics: First photo together, last photo together

Finale

by Pablo Neruda

...here or there,
gazing off,
twisting my spine,
bleeding true blood,
perhaps I awaken
or am lost, sleeping:
hospital beds,
foreign windows,
white uniforms of the silent walkers,
the clumsiness of feet.
And then, these journeys
and my sea of renewal:
your head on the pillow,
your hands floating
in the light, in my light,
over my earth.
It was beautiful to live
when you lived!

______________

Pic: Big A, Max, and Huckie are working out/working on bikes in the basement.

heartbreaker

My sister is extra kind and worries about me being "all alone." She is surrounded by uncles and aunts (some of whom spent the day with her yesterday), so I know what she means.

To cheer me up, she sent me this photo writing, "So, so happy you made her..." It made me cry immediately. 

I don't think I have this photo framed anywhere because my mom's bald patch is showing, our faces have weird folds, our hair is messy, and our eyes are unfocussed... but look how unguarded our joy and delight... what a an absolute treasure to remember this moment.

a whole new year

...and now it has been a whole year. I don't know how that happened or how we managed it.

I'm glad we made it to a year. I'm sad (and mad) we're now counting our loss in years.

A clipped and awkward phonecall with dad and my sis this morning and then a day prepping mom's favorite foods for the traditional offering.

Pic: Nu, Max, BigA, and Huck at Pooja. I went to the bookstore to find a "Large Print" book to add to the offering and the very first book I saw (because it had been placed facing outward) was by Lily King, who was an author we'd read for our first bookclub together. Amma loved Large Print books and bookclubs, both of which she had no access to in India.

near tears

Constantly. ALL the time. If I'm not actually crying, say something mean or kind or interesting or unrelated and watch me cry. 

I could be an attraction at a freak show.

Pic: Also freaky, how Max has not learned to walk and constantly runs rings around me as though I'm a Maypole or gets tangled up with Huckie.

shooting blanc

When the invite to a mystery dinner party arrived in the mail, I wasn't sure if it was a prank... or a scam?

But it turns out that I'm a plebe who didn't know that dîner en blanc is a fancy flashmob picnic with a long history. The "blanc" refers not to the food but the strict all-white dress code.

I RSVPed and... I actually went.

I met good people, had good food, and had a good time. 

Pic: There I am, staring into the sun at one of the tables...

Cooley Garden, Lansing.

 

hello, this is tomorrow

It's a good thing, I suppose, that I spent all day at my new volunteer gig at RDC (Adult ESOL + First Steps) because I didn't have time to panic about the book reading and signing tomorrow. 

But now dinner is done, Nu is in their room, Big A is at work, and I'm ready to panic. (Max and Huck just don't get this kind of thing.)

I've done poetry readings before but that's with other people. This is my first book reading. What if choke or OMG... what if it's the most boring thing ever?!

I've forbidden Big A and Nu to come. If I'm going to flail, I'd rather do it in front of people I don't know, you know? But I think friends are going to be there although I have not (yet) shared this anywhere.

Pic: Flyer from the bookstore. I was happy to be asked. Really, really, hope it goes well. 

"drive safe"

Our TWENTIETH anniversary today! It feels both shorter than that and longer than that...

We went to dinner by ourselves where they presented us with some delicious champagne and then I ordered a sangria on top of that. Given how rarely I drink, it all did go to my head. So it made me giggle when our very young, very sweet, very attentive waiter wished us well at the end of the meal and looked directly at me when he said to "drive safe." I wasn't driving. 

Pic: Big A, me, and our ring bearer, At, 20 years ago. 

"you could have lied"

E.M's colleague has an archaeological dig near Corinth, and they invited us to come for a visit. So I went off for the day with EM and we got a tour of a dig site from a real archaeologist who loves their work and introduced us to several other archaeologists and showed us so many relics dating back millennia (some 600 B.C.) and archaeology journals from the 1920s and 30s.

I geeked out big time all day in Isthmia and Corinth and got home rather late. And then I might have said it was the best day of the vacation. "Ouch" Big A said, "You could have lied." Ha.

Pic: I'm holding a cup from the Byzantium age in my own dang hand. I also saw a lamp, where the clay had been wet when the potter was handling it, so their fingerprint is deposited on it. From 2300 years ago! #Greece

"with a friend"

We took a boat trip across the Saronic Gulf to Aegina and Agistri today. I'll be looking at pictures and videos of the sea and skies for a long time... the blues are fairly incredible. Even in the moment, they seemed unreal. 

Hunting for the perfect pistachio ice cream as one does on Aegina, Nu and I stopped at a beautiful Byzantine church. (I light candles for Scout and my mama everywhere I go.) 

The elderly woman who had been cleaning some pictures stopped and marched up to me, and I got a bit nervous wondering if I'd forgotten to take off my hat or was sitting in the wrong chair... but it turned out that she just wanted to confirm that I was Indian and give me compliments and appear thoroughly devastated that we were there only for the day. (My conversations with Greek people are in the 100th percentile for sweetness, I swear.) 

She kept referring Nu as "my friend" although we both explained how we were related a couple of times, so I kept reminding Nu to be a good friend for the rest of the day. 

Pic: Big A's candid of my "friend" Nu and me on the boat. #Greece

"I am lucky to wake up and meet you today"

I don't want to jinx it, but I just have the nicest encounters in Greece. 

The first time I was here (by myself in 2019), my taxi driver in Athens was so excited to find out that I was traveling to Olympia the next day. He said that he was from Olympia and that I should go to the cafe right by the museum and let them know that Giorgos had sent me to say hello and that they would take care of me. In some places this would have been a prank, but he was so earnest and insistent, that I did indeed (diffidently) stop by the cafe the next day.

When I told the barkeep that Giorgos had sent me, he stopped what he was doing, and announced it to the whole cafe, and then everyone proceeded to cheer and drink to my health. The more I think about this, the more likely it seems that they may not have known who Giorgos was (and it's just George in Greek, so such a popular name too), but did not want me to feel stupid.

Today when I wandered off to find a cash machine (as the monasteries in Meteora don't accept cards), the woman whose shop the ATM was at, made such a fuss of me. "I am lucky to wake up and meet you today," she said after she gave me a small bag of cherries to share with Big A and Nu. 

Hospitality and unlooked for kindness every where I see here. 

I think often also of that 2018 Joanna Kakissis story on NPR where she talked about how her Greek family in Lesbos was trying to help Syrian and other refugees coming in across the Mediterranean as "the rest of the E.U. won't take them." 

Ancient Greek history has so much war, but all that's left now is the legendary Greek hospitality.

Pic: I'm up on a ledge, with an Omen-like sunbeam slicing me. But then, I have monasteries perched to my right and left. #Greece

"and after that she had a son by her husband... yeah, right"

I'd dreamed of bringing Big A to Epidaurus for a very long time. I remember so well the first time I encountered Epidaurus in Mary Stewart's Moonspinners, when I was in middle school. The idea that if the god of medicine, Asclepius, visited you in your sleep, you'd be healed was something I remind myself of every time my sleep schedule gets a bit more fucked.

But I wanted to bring Big A here because it seemed to be a place a doctor might geek out about. (He didn't, but he was very indulgent about my excitement. And I ditched him to go geek out by myself a bit later). It also has the best preserved amphitheater, with tremendous acoustics (you can hear a coin drop on the stage all the way up on the lip) and we enjoyed the climb after the very long drive.

One of the plaques described how Andromache of Epirus came to the sanctuary for offspring. She dreamed that a handsome youth lifted up her dress and that the god touched her belly. And that "and after that she had a son by her husband Arrybas." Yeah, right--we joked. And then later in the evening, I started to worry that it all sounded a bit rape-y. 

Pic: I can't even believe the blue of that sky. #Greece

Ah, Athens

Lots of adventures on our travels, yesterday: a canceled flight, being rerouted to Heathrow, 24+ hours of airports...

But we're here!

We checked in to our apartment, stocked up on food, unpacked, and got a good night's sleep.

This morning, we walked to the Acropolis to see the Parthenon. I will never, ever get over how small and excited I feel to be here.

Pic: Also, I didn't realize how tall Nu has gotten. #Greece

pere c'est police/Persepolis

The first text Big A sent me this morning was about how Marjane Satrapi had died. Over the course of the day, I came to learn it was probably from a broken heart after losing her partner of thirty years last year.

Persepolis changed my mind about so many things... including the graphic novel genre. I always thought I'd meet her someday, and might have if she wasn't gone too soon.

This quote really says so much: “If I have one message to give to the secular American people, it’s that the world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don’t know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same.”

And because of the pun in the title, I found myself muttering Persepolis, Pere c'est police (Father police) under my breath a lot.

Pic: Max and Huckie wonder about my muttering.

Chicago!

Off to Chicago to see At...

Here's our obligatory Cloud Gate/Bean photograph.

The last time was for my birthday trip right before the pandemic! Scout's there!

https://www.pocobrat.net/2020/03/notes-on-camp.html