hello, this is tomorrow

It's a good thing, I suppose, that I spent all day at my new volunteer gig at RDC (Adult ESOL + First Steps) because I didn't have time to panic about the book reading and signing tomorrow. 

But now dinner is done, Nu is in their room, Big A is at work, and I'm ready to panic. (Max and Huck just don't get this kind of thing.)

I've done poetry readings before but that's with other people. This is my first book reading. What if choke or OMG... what if it's the most boring thing ever?!

I've forbidden Big A and Nu to come. If I'm going to flail, I'd rather do it in front of people I don't know, you know? But I think friends are going to be there although I have not (yet) shared this anywhere.

Pic: Flyer from the bookstore. I was happy to be asked. Really, really, hope it goes well. 

"drive safe"

Our TWENTIETH anniversary today! It feels both shorter than that and longer than that...

We went to dinner by ourselves where they presented us with some delicious champagne and then I ordered a sangria on top of that. Given how rarely I drink, it all did go to my head. So it made me giggle when our very young, very sweet, very attentive waiter wished us well at the end of the meal and looked directly at me when he said to "drive safe." I wasn't driving. 

Pic: Big A, me, and our ring bearer, At, 20 years ago. 

"you could have lied"

E.M's colleague has an archaeological dig near Corinth, and they invited us to come for a visit. So I went off for the day with EM and we got a tour of a dig site from a real archaeologist who loves their work and introduced us to several other archaeologists and showed us so many relics dating back millennia (some 600 B.C.) and archaeology journals from the 1920s and 30s.

I geeked out big time all day in Isthmia and Corinth and got home rather late. And then I might have said it was the best day of the vacation. "Ouch" Big A said, "You could have lied." Ha.

Pic: I'm holding a cup from the Byzantium age in my own dang hand. I also saw a lamp, where the clay had been wet when the potter was handling it, so their fingerprint is deposited on it. From 2300 years ago! #Greece

"with a friend"

We took a boat trip across the Saronic Gulf to Aegina and Agistri today. I'll be looking at pictures and videos of the sea and skies for a long time... the blues are fairly incredible. Even in the moment, they seemed unreal. 

Hunting for the perfect pistachio ice cream as one does on Aegina, Nu and I stopped at a beautiful Byzantine church. (I light candles for Scout and my mama everywhere I go.) 

The elderly woman who had been cleaning some pictures stopped and marched up to me, and I got a bit nervous wondering if I'd forgotten to take off my hat or was sitting in the wrong chair... but it turned out that she just wanted to confirm that I was Indian and give me compliments and appear thoroughly devastated that we were there only for the day. (My conversations with Greek people are in the 100th percentile for sweetness, I swear.) 

She kept referring Nu as "my friend" although we both explained how we were related a couple of times, so I kept reminding Nu to be a good friend for the rest of the day. 

Pic: Big A's candid of my "friend" Nu and me on the boat. #Greece

"I am lucky to wake up and meet you today"

I don't want to jinx it, but I just have the nicest encounters in Greece. 

The first time I was here (by myself in 2019), my taxi driver in Athens was so excited to find out that I was traveling to Olympia the next day. He said that he was from Olympia and that I should go to the cafe right by the museum and let them know that Giorgos had sent me to say hello and that they would take care of me. In some places this would have been a prank, but he was so earnest and insistent, that I did indeed (diffidently) stop by the cafe the next day.

When I told the barkeep that Giorgos had sent me, he stopped what he was doing, and announced it to the whole cafe, and then everyone proceeded to cheer and drink to my health. The more I think about this, the more likely it seems that they may not have known who Giorgos was (and it's just George in Greek, so such a popular name too), but did not want me to feel stupid.

Today when I wandered off to find a cash machine (as the monasteries in Meteora don't accept cards), the woman whose shop the ATM was at, made such a fuss of me. "I am lucky to wake up and meet you today," she said after she gave me a small bag of cherries to share with Big A and Nu. 

Hospitality and unlooked for kindness every where I see here. 

I think often also of that 2018 Joanna Kakissis story on NPR where she talked about how her Greek family in Lesbos was trying to help Syrian and other refugees coming in across the Mediterranean as "the rest of the E.U. won't take them." 

Ancient Greek history has so much war, but all that's left now is the legendary Greek hospitality.

Pic: I'm up on a ledge, with an Omen-like sunbeam slicing me. But then, I have monasteries perched to my right and left. #Greece

"and after that she had a son by her husband... yeah, right"

I'd dreamed of bringing Big A to Epidaurus for a very long time. I remember so well the first time I encountered Epidaurus in Mary Stewart's Moonspinners, when I was in middle school. The idea that if the god of medicine, Asclepius, visited you in your sleep, you'd be healed was something I remind myself of every time my sleep schedule gets a bit more fucked.

But I wanted to bring Big A here because it seemed to be a place a doctor might geek out about. (He didn't, but he was very indulgent about my excitement. And I ditched him to go geek out by myself a bit later). It also has the best preserved amphitheater, with tremendous acoustics (you can hear a coin drop on the stage all the way up on the lip) and we enjoyed the climb after the very long drive.

One of the plaques described how Andromache of Epirus came to the sanctuary for offspring. She dreamed that a handsome youth lifted up her dress and that the god touched her belly. And that "and after that she had a son by her husband Arrybas." Yeah, right--we joked. And then later in the evening, I started to worry that it all sounded a bit rape-y. 

Pic: I can't even believe the blue of that sky. #Greece

Ah, Athens

Lots of adventures on our travels, yesterday: a canceled flight, being rerouted to Heathrow, 24+ hours of airports...

But we're here!

We checked in to our apartment, stocked up on food, unpacked, and got a good night's sleep.

This morning, we walked to the Acropolis to see the Parthenon. I will never, ever get over how small and excited I feel to be here.

Pic: Also, I didn't realize how tall Nu has gotten. #Greece

pere c'est police/Persepolis

The first text Big A sent me this morning was about how Marjane Satrapi had died. Over the course of the day, I came to learn it was probably from a broken heart after losing her partner of thirty years last year.

Persepolis changed my mind about so many things... including the graphic novel genre. I always thought I'd meet her someday, and might have if she wasn't gone too soon.

This quote really says so much: “If I have one message to give to the secular American people, it’s that the world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don’t know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same.”

And because of the pun in the title, I found myself muttering Persepolis, Pere c'est police (Father police) under my breath a lot.

Pic: Max and Huckie wonder about my muttering.

Chicago!

Off to Chicago to see At...

Here's our obligatory Cloud Gate/Bean photograph.

The last time was for my birthday trip right before the pandemic! Scout's there!

https://www.pocobrat.net/2020/03/notes-on-camp.html 

 

THIS is still happening

I got tagged about the award on FB, and now everyone I know there thinks I'm verging on sainthood.

So embarrassing!

Eight decades of awesome

It's Amma's 80th birthday today. I spent quite a long time at the temple. My sister made her a mango cake, I made her a kulfi with pistachios, cardamom, and rosewater. For the past couple of years in the lead up to this big birthday, she'd been joking that I would not make it home for her 80th birthday celebration as I had done for my Dad's 80th. She would set me up, teasing me about loving dad more than her--just so I'd profess my love for her above all else and promise to be there with her today. This turned out to be such a not-funny joke. 

For my dad's 80th, I flew to Bangalore to surprise my parents. My mom was also on her way back to Bangalore after visiting my sister who was on assignment in Amsterdam. And... BY SOME AMAZING TWIST OF SERENDIPITY, we were both booked on the *same* flight from Frankfurt to Bangalore on the second leg of our respective journeys . I called the airline and arranged to sit next to her, and I started to moo like a cow (one of our silly joke things) as she approached the row... SHE WAS SO BOWLED OVER when she found me! This picture is us reunited on that plane; She looks a bit dazed from the surprise and has her hand wrapped so tight around my upper arm... What I wouldn't give...

we are the champions

I'll note the high of last week before this weekend's lows arrive. 

On Friday, I was given the 2026 "Champion for the Children Award" for my work with CASA. The gala was pretty fancy and "adventure-themed" and people really dressed up for it (Even Nu wore a blazer!). 

I was not a fan of seeing my face on the screen (or on the tables dedicated for my guests and titled "champion's tables" lol), but was grateful for a chance to shoutout the amazing children I work with in my acceptance speech.  

So many people I love showed up at the gala including from out of town and from as far away as D.C. It was fun seeing my various circles intertwine and intersect--family, friends, students, colleagues, my boss, new contacts...

I love my people.  Discussing her outfit via text, JN, who dressed as a lion, said, "My explanation is I was an  explorer eaten by a lion and now the lion has taken over." I may love her a little extra.

armature

I keep disappearing

inside my head

becoming a promise

so unbound

it's like using clouds

as landmarks

or charting open skies

as a map

places that turn endless

as love unseen 

to teach me that healing 

isn't always clear

I lift my hands upwards

in adoration

surprised when I learn

how heavy they are

______________

Pic: Sunbeams on our way home from the Pistons game in Detroit on Sunday. They handily won the playoffs, so the mood in our car was jubilant. 

memoriam

Baby sis (whose birthday was in Jan) and I didn't feel we could bear to celebrate our birthdays this year. So we've put them on hold.

Starting Saturday, I'll be spending a week with United Way of Sarasota County (FL) cleaning up after Hurricane Milton as part of a college service break with students. It'll be filthy work all day and bunking at a local church shelter at night.

My mom would be slightly horrified at spending a birthday this way--she so loved luxury and soft things. 

But somehow it feels right to me. Not quite a celebration, more as a way of comemorating the gift of this body she birthed. 

In any case, it'll be different.

Pic: Mallards on the Red Cedar. Walk with AS last week.

"I trust"

Thanks to J and Big A, I started the day with a yoga practice that urged me to trust the journey.

I'm trying.

One of the things I think about a lot as my birthday approaches is how this will be the first time I'm here without her in this body she gave me.

At the pow-wow this afternoon with LB and EM, as I watched the dancers in competition completely lose themselves, it made me want to tie my bharatanatyam ankle bells on and whirl until my feelings centrifuge away. 

I love this meme by "Notorious Cree" where they play the "wrong Indian music," (i.e. my kind of Indian) but dance anyway.

Pic: One of the Ojibwe dancers today.  

lining up

Grief has been crippling lately. Meditating at the altar in the middle of the night, seeing Scout and my mom side by side, I found fresh regret for not knowing that mom was going, for not being able to say a final goodbye--the way I was able to with Scout. If I had known ahead of time, I could have flown to Bangalore. 

Past me must have decided that I needed to do more things, because my calendar has been jam-packed.

But current me had to deal with an Urgent Care trip for Big A on Tuesday (Long Covid is no joke) and an emergency vet trip for Huckleberry on Wednesday (waiting on results) and had to cancel some previously made plans.

But I still got to see Lucas Zelnick perform today and see the world premiere of Sally (based on the experience of Sally Hemmings) yesterday. 

Pic: A bunch of us at Sally; I'm nicely nestled between friends.

I've been traveling

It was just a quick trip to check in on MIL, but our 48 hour trip to Yellow Springs (Friday evening to Sunday evening) turned into quite the fun whirl. It helped that MIL seemed so much better than "now in a power wheelchair" seemed to suggest. In fact, I didn't see the wheelchair in action at all, so it was a good weekend.

We got in late on Friday evening and hung out Saturday. Then I had a long lunch with TJA (who lost her mom three years ago and has never recovered, and I fear that might be me). Then after everyone went to bed, there was an urgent invite to come to game night, so it was off to our old neighbors, where EVERYONE was there, and people were lining up to hug us like the prodigal returnees we are. Brunch with the Ms on our way out of town on Sunday, surrounded by all the loveliness of their Pottery. I don't need anything new at this point, but I did grab some stuff for presents.

Now Nu has been returned to their dorm, and I feel something coming over me. Hopefully, it's not something a few strong doses of turmeric tea can't fix. I'd like to say I've been traveling this weekend, not that I've been sick.

Pic: I had to borrow reading glasses to play Catchphrase, and people wanted a picture of me wearing these outsize glasses. I wanted to take a pic with SA, At's beloved 4th grade teacher, so this one is a two-fer.

Onward!

Yes, it's snowing, but you know what--Max loves the snow! And the way he lifts his head in wonder to look at the sky and then races around in jubilation... it makes me want to catch him and squeeze him tight and thank the world for all its wonders.  

Also wonderful--realizing with relief that what I took to be two spots of fungal infection on my arm are just the marks from my Covid and flu shots from last week. 

Here's to entering 2026 with good health, good cheer, peace, and success, everyone! 💗

Pic: Our holiday card, sans the sappy message I had printed on the back.

another que sera, sera

* I compiled all the wonderful comments about my uncle and shared it with him. At first he tried to play it off and told me that I should have told everyone he got a law degree just to argue with my aunt (HaHa). But he LOVED it, and invited everyone to his "grand party" when he's enrolled to the bar (May/June 2026). I'm tentatively planning to go and would happily take anyone else who wants to go with!

* Did the annual review of subscriptions, donations, and bonuses. (Jeanie, I did not forget WKAR!) And I quadrupled what we gave our sanitation worker last year. Not only were they so upright about things, they parked our trash bin inside our gates every single week!

* [Sorry this is whiny.] I thought my back was sore, and that it would get better. I thought this three days ago. It has NOT been getting better. Much worse, actually. I'd say pain scale of 6-7? It was so bad I took an ibuprofen today. I'm going to have to ask people to help me do so many things tomorrow.

* I'm all done with cards, decorating, baking, presents, holiday bonuses, and food prepping. It's Christmas Eve Eve. Deep breath! It's like putting on a show, no?

* Pic: I sat on the stairs for a few minutes in stillness taking in the tree. (I like knowing that two green clothespins hold the star upright and that I made the tree collar this year from an old lampshade I found at the thrift store.)

yes, there is a holiday card

I wasn't sure what I was going to do about the holidays... I didn't celebrate Diwali this year--it was too soon after Amma's funeral. 

But Christmas wasn't a holiday I typically celebrated with her, so I thought I'd be ok. But no, it has been brutal. After I came back from NYC, I don't really know what happened between Monday and Friday? 

And now Christmas is less than a week away. Or a few days away.

I didn't feel putting together a family holiday card this year, but last week I realized that this was the last year my mom could be on one (grandparents and sibs are usually on our holiday cards) so I had to make one. And mom loved our dress-up shenanigans, so I ordered us some tinsel wigs.

Pic: The best we could do. Max was very offended by the idea of wearing a wig. And did A (behind me) not know his face was completely obscured? We were already late for trivia night and friends were waiting, so there were no retakes.