Today was a day... especially for checking up on my Minneapolis people. It has been so heavy lately. There was the middle-of-the night shooting of Rep. Hortman, her spouse, and Gilbert and then the daytime Annunciation school shooting. This morning on a residential street, ICE randomly shot 37-year-old Renee Nicole Good in the head and did not allow her any medical assistance (they threatened the physician who offered to provide medical assistance with a gun); she died. What are you supposed to do when masked goons with no ID surround your car? If they're shooting white people now, the fascism has really escalated.
She was a human being. She was there as an observer. She was innocent (if that matters). She was a citizen (if that matters). She was a parent. Her six-year-old's father died in 2023, so this child is truly orphaned.
Renee Nicole (Macklin) Good was a poet. She won a prize for this poem.
It's just another Monday, but also the very first Monday of the year, so I'm counting that as significant!
I'm all prepped (Canvas pages are published, syllabuses are ready, students have been emailed, I've looked over my notes and silly jokes, diagnostics are ready to go, waitlisted students in the oversubscribed classes have been manually added to the roster, I looked up new icebreakers, etc.). But that doesn't mean I'm not super antsy with the usual mix of excitement AND ANXIETY. I've been teaching for over 30 years... And yet, every time is like the first time.
Some somewhat Hamnet-related thoughts. First off, Nance, Lisa, and J were so kind in their approval of that last poem. And I thought about how I couldn't have written that poem if my mom was alive. And then weirdly how proud she'd be of being my muse if she knew. But how happy I'd be to just have her be here so I could write about ants and grasses or whatever else I used to write about before. Also, I'm pretty wrecked by mom's passing... but, watching that movie, it occurred to me that I cannot even imagine losing a human child.
Pic: The daffodil buds I bought myself last week are beginning to flower, as are the roses SH gave me on Saturday. JL gave me that little red cardinal when cardinals were visiting me everyday in Amma's wake in September. I should start a label# SecretWinterFlowers
After Big A returned, we walked to the planetarium for a show, and then walked over to our usual sushi place, and then headed home to watch a movie with Max and Huck.
So overall a nice (Boss) day for me, but the words of wise ones are ringing in my ears. Edward Said: "Every empire, however, tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires, that its mission is not to plunder and control but to educate and liberate." Tupac: "They got money for wars but can't feed the poor."
Pic: The Red Cedar beginning a sunset show as we walked across the bridge.
The title makes this sound like a post about how when things start out pretty bad, they can only get better...
But actually, "When you can only go UP" was Big A's text that accompanied this forlorn picture of Huck on the family chat. She loves to scamper up the back stairs, but freaks out about the descent because they're floating stairs and she could fall through them. She used to be fine with them last year, but probably had a close call and decided that was enough. Now, she'll just mope until someone notices and carries her downstairs. (She looks so darn adorable peeking through the slats though!)
However, in the things getting better department:
I'm happy to hear that the National Guard will be withdrawn from Chicago (also LA and Portland, but Chicago is where At lives now).
The lights over the dining table have been very flicker-y for a couple of days. We've put in a call to the electrician, but in the meantime, we've been eating our dinners by candlelight. I knew I'd be all over it, but Nu and Big A really enjoy the cosy vibe as well.
I've been doing things... with people again. Earlier this week, I went to a movie with friends. We were supposed to get dinner after, but the movie was Hamnet and I cried for at least 70% of the movie and so I came back home. I got coffee today. I'm getting brunch tomorrow. It's not all walks and bookclubs either.
School starts up on Monday for Nu and me. I can't wait to get back to the three R's--return, routine, and regularity.
Also wonderful--realizing with relief that what I took to be two spots of fungal infection on my arm are just the marks from my Covid and flu shots from last week.
Here's to entering 2026 with good health, good cheer, peace, and success, everyone! 💗
Pic: Our holiday card, sans the sappy message I had printed on the back.
Our Christmas was.
Little went according to plan. Big A had a terrible cold, At had bad allergies, Nu was t-i-r-e-d, my back was shot...
But we fell into our old Christmas patterns, talked about how much Scout loved Christmas, the food turned out great, everyone loved their presents.
At is leaving for Chicago on Saturday. So tomorrow one more present--flu and Covid shots.
Pic: Max and Huck are helping Nu and At open stocking gifts.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do about the holidays... I didn't celebrate Diwali this year--it was too soon after Amma's funeral.
But Christmas wasn't a holiday I typically celebrated with her, so I thought I'd be ok. But no, it has been brutal. After I came back from NYC, I don't really know what happened between Monday and Friday?
And now Christmas is less than a week away. Or a few days away.
I didn't feel putting together a family holiday card this year, but last week I realized that this was the last year my mom could be on one (grandparents and sibs are usually on our holiday cards) so I had to make one. And mom loved our dress-up shenanigans, so I ordered us some tinsel wigs.
Pic: The best we could do. Max was very offended by the idea of wearing a wig. And did A (behind me) not know his face was completely obscured? We were already late for trivia night and friends were waiting, so there were no retakes.We made it back ok! We even enjoyed our surprise road trip. Things could have gone wrong, but they didn't. StephLove recently asked how Big A's health was, and I actually had to stop and think about it. While my mom was in the ICU, Big A was making trips to the E.R. as a patient with unexplained FUOs and then... we just stopped going as the fevers faded. No diagnosis or explanation, but I'm grateful things didn't go wrong-er.
We returned to a full house. Nu was back from the week they'd spent volunteering with St. Jude's in Memphis, At had spent the weekend at home taking care of the puppy sibs, and homecoming was loud and loving. The kids brought the tree up from the basement, and we're officially in holiday mode now.
Secrets: I didn't buy a single thing in New York. (Like not a single keepsake or souvenir or even any presents for the kids.)
Big A and I did our usual thing at the beginning of our weekend where we seriously contemplated moving to NYC after retirement and then scrapping it as we realized afresh that we'd have to give up too much to be able to live even half as well.
I think we're going to do tinsel wigs for the holiday card this year.
And in the laziest hack ever, our tree goes into storage completely dressed, so all we do at holiday time is unzip the tree cover and plug in the light cord.
Max, Big A, and Huck are all wrestling at my feet and it makes it very difficult to get grading done...
What a day! Labor and faith groups led a general strike in Minneapolis--thousands upon thousands marched, hundreds of small businesses close...
