the lovey

One of my favorite pictures of Scout as a puppy: hugging his lovey and watching for the water vole to swim past in the old house. He would get so excited when he saw water voles or bunnies that he'd sit down like he couldn't bear the weight of his surprise. Scout was always the sweetest of my babies.

Anyway long neuro appt today for Scout (from 11 am to nearly 4 pm) and they found some things but are going to pass us on to the ortho dept. They weren't letting anyone but patients in, but I was so anxious that I couldn't understand them on the phone--it was like I lost my capacity for language. So they brought me into a tiny exam room and went over everything with me again. 

I remember pointing out his weakness and everyone trying to convince me that I was imagining it. No one thinks I'm imagining it anymore, it's that obvious.

Time is terrifying sometimes.

A moment

I have sweaty socks Hucky is loving on; Big A is slumped post-run and post-shower; Scout is smiling because he heard me say his name; the human babies are still asleep upstairs; we're in the hanging chairs At assembled all by himself years ago; the plants in the tea garden are happy because they've been freshly watered; and I'm happy that I don't have to worry about them for another week...

I will come back to this moment when the madness and busyness descends.

Onwards...

_

Watch out, sticks!

The picture is its own happy story.

     Alternate story: It's the kind of day where you need a woolen hat when you set out and need to switch it out for sunglasses by the time you get there.
     Nu and I set off with Mason jars of chicken soup for At who wasn't feeling well.
     We found out when we got to Alma that he'd been running a fever for five days--so it was off to Urgent Care, where we found out that he'd lost even more weight and that he had Strep. Pharmacy next (Amoxy is free!) then back to the MUN House to put him to bed. Refrigerating the soup, I found four other trays of food that he'd stashed without eating them.
       Back home, Big A set to throwing away the food and putting the dishes in the dishwasher while I cried my heart out. And that resulted in... a very firmly-worded text to At from Big A. And so we go on.

_

Kids Who Love Their Dad

_

Nodes

There're ways to do this
where dreams are choral
and my eyes are wings
florescent with words

And if If I gave you three dollars
and 75 cents, how far away
is the train at 50 m.p.h.
carrying all our songs of want?

----------------

Bottu Puppies!

_

Another Two-Puppy Night

You'd have thought that 

we were safely in the warm.

But tonight, it's time once again

to break out the big comforters

and both the puppies...

_

Cuddle

Tired out from a play-date

(where they didn't play).

_

Never Alone

I'll need a weekend to myself

after A gets home next week.

_

A Quiet Thanksgiving

Right now
the afternoon brightens
the dogs sleep
beside me

the last of the corn
and the best acorn squash
from the garden are
roasting from light to gold

The kids sleep one room away
done with every weekend activity
A stumbled home from a night shift
and also sleeps

I? I have something completely
unrelated to work to read
while the week's laundry
churns itself clean and dry

Sounds so ordinary
but this hasn't happened
in years. It is a returning
peace, to be thankful.

_

We're calling this event "Synchronized Sleeping."

(And clearly, we're champions!)

_

What do you mean the weekend's OVER?!?!?

_

Melting

Is she wondering about 

the snow? Just last week 

it was piled high like  

"The Wall" in GoT.

Strange how in spite of 

all the naughty potties 

she still makes me laugh
and melt some more.

_

Look me in the eye!

This picture cracks me up.

(Scout & Grandpa R)

_

A Serious Accusation

These days--and nights--with the kids cute, funny, kinda little, and sleeping under the same roof feel so blessed.

Letting each day go is a struggle, I know I'll look back on now as some of the sweetest times of parenthood some day.

That said, the kids aren't really *that* little.

Just yesterday, the first-grader accused me of treating her "like a kindergartner" :).

_

Those Who

There are those who

just can't hold still for a pic

in the henna/bleach Tardis gear  

(made by an awesome student).

They are the same ones who 

suddenly transform into

a giggly, floppy, silly pile

of puppies in ten seconds.

_

Diagnosis

Their eyes tell me about my future
how they grow up soft
in my heart

Their hands travel like my past
muddied innocent
grown lean

Their touch keeps books of memories
to listen, turn, learn
and cry out


_

A snuggle before work

Big A dropped the older kids off at school
but there was still some snugglin' goin' on…

_

Sometimes...

one needs to nap *at* dinner

-

Golden

_

Guess Who's *at* Dinner

Huckleberry: I'm all done now. Thanks!

_