tea and ceasefire

Pic: A proper afternoon tea at The Orangery in Kensington Palace. Our day of indulgence!

And a good day to revisit the wonder of how the world has only two words for tea: Tea if by Sea, Cha if by Land.

Back home in Michigan, the morels are up. I want to tell Summer to hold back until I get back.

Feeling a bit lighter as we're are halfway through our trip and the countdown to home is ON.

And when I called my mom for Mother's Day, I heard India and Pak have a ceasefire! I'm so relieved!!

"Facts Tell; Stories Sell"

I'm a bit of a ninny when it comes to navigating my way on the Tube and around London. I'm so thankful for the students who have the knack for it and help seamlessly. 

But today was one of our days to head to Oxford, and I know my way around that city SO well. We had our lecture in a seminar room at Pitt Rivers Museum, which a student aptly called "hodgepodge museum." I mean there are cases generically titled "the human form in art" stuffed with artifacts from disparate eras and areas. Our lecture was with the wonderful Will Allen who gave us the nugget that is today's post title. When advising people on immigration data, he said he always tries to give them a story to take away. 

I had to do a fair amount of in loco parentis-ing today and hope it was helpful. Later, I snoozed off on the bus to students good-naturedly arguing about video games and then dreamt about them. In my dream they were racing each other down the sidewalk and laughing hard and my father watching them from the other side of the street with me, asked me in the indulgent, tender way he has if these were my kids. I guess they are.

Pic: Our class on the steps of the Sheldonian Theater. It is the center of Oxford (and where my diploma ceremony took place!) but the building is important to our class for another reason. It is where Chimamanda Adichie's deservedly viral talk The Danger of a Single Story was recorded.

Multicultural Metropole

Our class went to Metropolitan University for a talk with Sunny Singh today. I had the same soft argument with Sunny as I've previously had with Big A. Sunny and Big A think Ta-Nehisi Coates is being lionized for "doing the bare minimum in speaking out against genocide" while I'm grateful that when so many continue to be silent, he's using his platform and risking his career. 

If I'm all cosmopolitanism this and kumbaya that, Sunny leads with a reckoning of "enslavement, colonialism, and genocide." She was dropping truth bombs and later I had to check in with students who were visibly upset and trembling. One of them said that it just hit them that their taxes would always fund genocides they didn't believe in. Devastating. 

Later a nice meander through Altab Ali Park, Bangladeshi Brick Lane, and Spitalfields Market to round off our morning of multicultural London. 

Pic: A bonus song at the end of Six, when the cast encouraged us to take pictures. It's a weird energy to check out a musical when you're homesick and worried about so many things in the world. But also, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself while stranded halfway across the world, doing my job like everything is normal. It's my mom's birthday and I had a nice chat with her--can't say it helped my homesickness or my worry. 

Elgin Marbles and Radcliffe Lines

Pic: With the British Museum dome above us. We talk a lot of trash about The British Museum and their culture of "taking" and "borrowing." But when we're actually there at the museum, the dominant feeling is awe for the sheer wealth of human accomplishment on display.

Choice quotes: "No matter where you're from, you'll feel at home in the British Museum because there will be stuff from your home country there." Ha. 

"You mean to say he just took the stuff from the ancient Greeks and then named it after himself?!" Cf. Elgin

And I can't help thinking how the India-Pakistan discord is the legacy of British misrule, mismanagement, and drawing hasty borderlines. 

"Come What May, We're Here to Stay"

Afternoon lectures today at the University of London via colleagues River Baars and Lola Olufemi. River's lecture was about British Asian Youth Movements (AYMs), and as promised, they "seamlessly" integrated the supreme court decision about Palestine and the biological definition of woman into their lecture. Students were blown away by Lola's radical revisioning of time and multidirectionality. "I feel like my brain grew three sizes," I heard someone comment.

In our morning session we connected the cosmopolitan threads linking a bunch of stuff from Eddy Grant's dancehall hit "Electric Avenue" and the Brixton Uprising to Stokley Carmichael/Kwame Ture sparking the Black resistance in the UK. The cross-cultural solidarities amongst everyone "politically black" in the UK is particularly heartening with British Asian Youth Movements supporting everything from Black Lives Matter to the Bradford 12. Today's post title is one their lasting slogans. But I like the one they borrowed from The Children of Soweto too: Don't Mourn; Organize!" I know that'll play in my head the next time I'm worried about the world.

Pic: A mural at the top of our street with the words "No child should be a part of war. Ever." I expected to get homesick and sad next week, but I'm--inexplicably--already there. AND after I wrote that, I found out from a text DV sent me just now that India and Pakistan are at war. I called my family, and they tried to calm me by saying the south is usually safer. But also that they're having "mock drills" today to prepare. It all feels so surreal.

Eye on London

Pic: It's our tourist-y day with a river cruise and visits to several major London landmarks. A good way to overcome/work off our arrival fatigue and jet lag. Here's the class looking adorable with the London Eye in the background.

I usually have students declaim some of the famous landmark poems at the landmarks. Some of what we read for today included: Louis MacNeice “London Rain,” William Wordsworth “Composed Upon Westminster Bridge 1802,” William Blake “London,” Robert Bridges “Trafalgar Square,”  D. H. Lawrence “Hyde Park at Night, Before the War,” Amy Lowell “A London Thoroughfare at 2 am,” Brian Bilston “They’re Renovating Buckingham Palace,” Evie Shockley “London Bridge,” John Betjeman “Summoned by Bells at St. Paul’s," Theresa Lola “Flagship of Buzz,” and Patience Agabi “The London Eye.”  I especially love how in the final poem there's a glimpse of Wordsworth writing "Westminster Bridge" and the shoutout to the older poem, down to the year 1802 cleverly reconfigured.

In line for tea at the cafe, a Canadian woman told me that she'd canceled her trip to the US and decided to travel to the UK instead. I completely understand. I also understand how kind people use these kinds of conversational gambits to suss out other people's positions and to offer consolation. 

London Blues

Pic 1: Our travel class is called "The Empire Writes Back: Adventures in Cosmopolitan England" and is obviously based on theories of cosmopolitanism. (More the contemporary Appiah-Sen-Nussbaum take on it rather the Greek version, but still.) My nerdy learners, whom I'm so proud of, were excited to tell me that cosmopolitanism had been a Jeopardy answer the day before we left, and that some of them nerded out to their families about it. (Student pic.)

Pic 2: In other nerdy news, I did very well on the trivia contest on the flight and then got a bit nerdier and beat my own high score. (My pic.)

In addition to these two happy pictures in blue, we've had some minor travel woes. There was considerable difficulty finding our transfer coach until the airport marshal helped us. Also, our Oyster cards, which are our main form of transportation inside the city, seem to have a zero balance although they're supposed to last us two weeks. This needs to get figured out tomorrow... but it's a bank holiday and may not. Pfft.

traveling (like) light

 

here, on our way

our connections belonging

only to ourselves 

history's hooks dangling

 carrying instructions

treading eternally in travel

flighty and watery 

brave before memory

yet imagining every thing...

foreign for moments

knowing our effects are light 

yet baggage enough 

for other people to live out 

of them for a lifetime

___________________________ 

Pic 1: Like I did last time, I got everyone identical scarves to loop onto our backpacks so we can ID each other easily. (My pic.)

Pic 2: I'm so grateful for this community of eager learners. They were willing to construct and present on their keywords and concepts in the airport on our long layover. (Pic by our travel chaperone.)

I'm there

let's not keep fighting           

                              the same wars         

their adjectives          

                           and geographies   

are only those of mortality          

                          speak surrender          

                          sweet surrender          

I don't think we get to escape          

                       anymore than clouds

                       can keep their shape          

the victory is that we were          

                  and sometimes 

we were together

______________________________

Pic: Sunrise with Max. As I get ready to leave for the U.K. for two weeks while vaguely worrying about being allowed to return, I think this is one of the many moments I will miss while I'm away. Not unrelatedly, I am so happy that Mohsen Mahdawi has been released. I listened to this interview he gave the day before, while he was still detained, and loved it so much I shared it on family chat. It's worth the ten-minute listen.

three moms and three mommy dilemmas

Yesterday, I joined EM, EM's mom, and EM's mom's best friend at dinner to celebrate EM's mom's birthday. I loved hearing all the stories about Baby EM as much her mom loved telling them. (And also, I loved telling Big A that she told me to tell him that he was a very lucky guy.)

Today, I had a long tea with JG and she got kind of bashful at the end of our visit and then offered me some of her mom's jewelry, because she's always said that her mom (who passed away thirty years ago and I never got to meet) would have loved me. From everything I hear, the feeling's mutual. I was nearly moved to tears by the honor and and have picked out two pieces that I will treasure.

And this evening, in unexpectedly terrific news, my mom called to say she might make it to Nu's graduation party!

The thing is... I've been keeping a secret from her that I should probably disclose to her before she gets here. The secret's not wholly mine, but it's my mom, so I'm going to have to step up. That's dilemma #1. 

Friday is At's birthday. I was planning to do family dinner with At and then hurry to a fancy dinner I RSVPed "yes" to because I was nominated for a CASA award. (This is what the fam encouraged me to do, and they were going to accompany me too.) From the detailed itinerary I was sent this afternoon, however, it looks like I did NOT win the award. Would I be a dick if I changed my RSVP now? This is dilemma #2.

And finally, I will be far away from my kids on Mother's Day as I'm scheduled to be in the U.K with my travel Spring Term. Should we celebrate long distance, or arrange a M.U.M. Day (Make Up Mother's Day) as we did last year?

Pic: I love dandelions. Lately, I've been torturing myself with thoughts about having let Scout play in a nearby park with no dandelions, which means the place may have been sprayed with toxic chemicals, which means he may have ingested some, which means that may have caused his tumor, which means Scout would be alive if I had been a bit smarter. 

Sunday moments

It was a beautiful day. I walked over to the breakfast spot where I was supposed to meet Engie for a long, leisurely, and luxurious breakfast. It feels like we're old pals at this point as this is meeting #3? 4?  

I listened to the Sinners soundtrack on repeat and argued with At about a lot of close readings and easter eggs in the movie... When she sent me a "Good Morning, Sinners" meme," I archly responded by reminding everyone that vampires can't do mornings. It may have been my finest moment.  

No. Actually, my finest moment was when I finally stopped fidgeting with the spacing and margins on the Spring Term syllabus and hit publish. I'm so excited to see everyone in the classroom again tomorrow.

Jeanie's partner Rick was hosting a classical guitar duo concert at his home and I was looking forward to seeing Jeanie for the second time this week. But I was mistaken in thinking the concert was in the evening--it was in the afternoon. Alas, Big A had tickets to the Pistons-Knicks playoffs in Detroit, so we weren't able to make it. It was a tragic and controversial loss for the home team... (Look at me parroting stuff like I know what that means.)

Pic: Big A's pic of the messy end of the Pistons-Knicks game today. 

"when you like something, you want more, you want more"*

It's Nu's Boss Day, but I ended up spending more one-on-one time with At today who was in town for a dental appt. We had the best time (walk, massages, bookstore). When I dropped At off, she wanted me to go on another walk and stay for tea, but I had to head to the monthly faculty meeting. 

At kept coming up with reasons to stay--the weather was perfect for walking, the book we hadn't finished discussing (Sophie Lewis's Enemy Feminisms), another random thing At wanted to say about a connection between Kafka and Lispector... Tearing myself away was hard. It's going to get harder if At gets one of the jobs she's applied for in Seattle.

Pic: Last-day photo of my women's lit seminar. (Photo posted with requested permission.) Every time I look at this photo, I find myself smiling back. I have so much love for my students... but look at those smiles, they make it so easy. I'm looking forward to traveling to the U.K. with some of them next month on our Spring Term.

* The post title is from this old AT&T commercial that we used to quote all the time.

I can't believe

*That I have to get a visa to go to the U.K. (Ok, not quite a visa but still, an entry authorization--ETA--to procure ahead of time instead of at the airport when one lands there.)

         That it took about seven minutes to complete the process...

         That it's supposed to take three days to process... but the approval arrived via email within about 10 minutes.

*That I've taken on another child advocacy case.

         That my wonderful coordinator there has just been diagnosed with cancer. 

         That the kids in this case have the worst biblical names a pair of siblings could ever have.

*That it's snowing now. We were nearly to 50 degrees during the day when I had a lovely walk with KPB.

Pic: Big A, Huck, Max. Is something tasty going on? I love how Max loops his arm around yours to ensure you don't stop petting him. (And is it just me, or does Max look like he has a J.D.Vance-level of eyeliner on?)

like a drawing of myself

the body's shape is true 
its wisdom is intact 

my limbs chaste

perhaps not an immortal 

but never expendable

still a chosen one 

my frame rich and heavy 

as the best garden

vivid and fat

my self feels anonymous

wants to answer now

seeks surrender

______________________

Pic: My mom and sister sent me a photo of themselves playing holi with friends yesterday! It gave me joy just to look at it and made me me want to schedule a Holi date for later this month when things calm down a bit. I love how holi anonymizes everyone... you can barely tell who's who and can't tell their gender/age/class/color.

everything's still on fire, but at least it's not so cold?

...and everything's an hour earlier because of DST, but at least I got to see this beautiful sunrise on the Maple River on my way to work?

Now it's late and I'm up prepping for my panel talk about the first 50 days of the Trump administration. 

Rather than squandering attention and energy on the administration's own use of language, which is mostly bad faith and bluster, I'm choosing to focus on how to use language to build community and solidarity in the resistance.

This is the description I sent the organizers: 

“Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down: Rhetorics of Resistance to the Trump Administration 2.0” will reframe how resistors use verbal and visual rhetoric to organize information, laughter, courage, and counter-memory to resist and counteract the administration’s barrage of bluster and dehumanization. The presentation will focus on the warrant of resistance, the emphases of satire and subversion, the support of counternarratives, and the appeals of solidarity and calls to action. We’ll look at examples from a range of modalities, including maps, flags, crochet, speeches, book displays, annotation, memes, newsletters, poetry, and so on, in order to explore how compassion, solidarity, and humanistic mutual aid are—and can be—practiced.

I better go do all the stuff I said I'd do. Wish me luck!

I can't get no (dis)satisfaction

Feeling a bit angsty today: 

So my very loving aunt and uncle who were worried about me live in India and are low-key amused by our President and prone to saying he's right about some things. I'm so sad-mad about this disconnect--the guy they like is the reason racism is on the rise and they have to be afraid for me! 

I'm glad I was able to get weekly events going for Women's History Month... I've always been happy to help with this, but it's not my job. There are people in charge of this kind of programming. Why aren't they doing it?

The next time I go on a walk by myself, I'm putting my phone on mute. Just saying. I'm sure my family can figure out whether someone is at the door by themselves and I don't need to know that the heat is out again or that the puppies made a mess until I get home. 

Bestie KB's dad died last night. He had been in decline and then was in hospice care, but somehow I thought they still had some more time. This is like what happened with Lisa's uncle (and KB is in MPLS too). I am so sad for KB plus this makes me fretful because my professor's dad died last week too, and it's making me anxious about my own aging dad. (Nu's passport is messed up because of the Trump administration and now I don't know if we're going to be able to visit my dad in India this summer... ugh)

Pic: Well... at least the skies are blue and the trees are greening again...

in this version of myself

words break open into smiles
as they escape my mouth 
even as the sun breaks 
through clouds

every day it seems I put aside 

the language of survival

and will myself to find

life's uncut joy 

though my hands seem empty

I know in this version they 

cast to light and return

ready for the fight 

__________________

Pic: The sky as I headed home this evening: it's light out, the skies are blue, there are puffy white clouds. I didn't need a rainbow for my heart to leap up. 

Pre-birthday!

Mondays aren't teaching days, so I had a soft reentry to the second half of the term. I got class preps in early, and worked on some reviews for a while. Then the heating tech came by to fix our broken heater. I forgot to mention we didn't have heat over the weekend--thankfully, the hot water was still working and I got by with sweaters and puppies.

Big A and I took off for a hike in Sleepy Hollow State Park, I've wanted to go back with him ever since I went with work friends last month. He downloaded the six-mile loop trail, but I wanted to go around the island too, as it's really picturesque, and then we got lost for a bit--so it ended up being more like eight miles. 

At one point, Big A pointed at a plastic tube and looked at me very meaningfully, and I didn't know what he meant--like was he mad that someone had dropped their chapstick? Turned out it was a shotgun casing. I'd never seen one in my life before. We found a bunch more further down the trail, but didn't meet any hunters.

Birthday cards and a garden catalog (Spring is coming!) were in the mail and we got Subway for dinner as a treat. Online birthday greetings are beginning to trickle in (my school friend's big sis in New Zealand is always the first one to wish me), I've had birthday calls with my sister and my uncle, my birthday fundraiser is over halfway there (I set a bigger goal than usual, fingers crossed), I'm on my way! Yay! 

Pic:Lake Ovid behind me. Sleepy Hollow State Park.

connecting

Last month Lisa introduced me to Jeanie, who lives and writes in my city and whom Lisa has known for twenty+ years. It has been lovely getting to know Jeanie online and then maddening to realize that we'd been at the same show of 9 to 5  but missed meeting each other and then a bit amusing to realize from a casual comment about a fundraiser for local transitional housing that our partners are in the same bicycling club. We do have concrete plans for a blogger meetup in April, but I suspect/hope we'll bump into each other before too long. 

As if all this online excitement wasn't enough, my week was sublimely elevated when I received J's lovely Mary Cassatt postcard in the mail. It took me back to when J visited the Cassatt exhibit as part of her birthday celebration in soft December sunshine in California. And as our Michigan temperatures climbed out of freezing this weekend, it felt like J's card was weaving a benevolent influence.

I was thinking of the ways we are all connected in millions of ways as I was coming home yesterday from visiting my sister's school friend, who is in some ways an intrinsic part of my sister's inner circle and community and hence mine on some level. 

I love all the stories we know about each other, all the ideas and hopes we get from each other, all the ways we know we are not alone in this world.

Pic: The spectacular sunset on my way home yesterday. Our world can be so beautiful. 

a love song / love cakes /surrounded by love

a love song

the hero in my heart feels right at home 

cheering for me, and asking to stay

I'm waiting...  for answers 

and searching for things I haven't lost

beloved, you whisper to me of love

how I can find it in myself 

__________________

I made Persian Love Cake last week from this recipe, and made it again this week with a few tweaks. I added pistachios and rose petals in the cake batter too, made a topping rather than a glaze, liberally increased the amount of sugar, rose water, and almond flour, used moulds rather than a pan, and so on to a point where it's now a different thing altogether.

I took a batch to with me to Troy when I went to visit my (actually my sister's) old school friend. I had to remind myself not to treat her like she was 15--she has an 18-year-old herself now. I took Big A's car in case I got lost because my car is all battery and I didn't want to be lost and without battery power. (And I did get lost once. Briefly.) I felt surrounded by love all day from Big A filling up his gas tank before he came home from work this morning to SQ sending me home with six boxes of food.

Pic: Love cakes cooling before being boxed up.