all my grandparents are dead
all of them now live with me
and I am as tired as they are
calibrating so many endings
sadness settles--a misreading
a waiting whimpers in veins
possibilities turn impossible
like feelings I try not to feel
I've told myself: I've no right
things are good, it's summer
even skies are on my side &
sunshine is... the purest kiss
but I go full sol to soulful
to the solstice of solipsism
I know I... cannot fly, yet
mindlessly look for wings
_________________
Pic: Out with Max and Huck early in the morning. The dogwood friends gave me for my birthday is in full bloom this week. L said she'd picked out a Kousa, because it is a late bloomer like me. She really gets me :).
5 comments:
I've come to believe that sadness is OK. We miss people we love. We miss who we may have been - or were -- even though we are quite happy with what and who we are. We see a world we loved collapse. I keep reminding myself "It could be so much worse, I have people I love, who love me, I'm not starving, have a roof on my head, my needs are met and more." But sometimes it just comes..I think anyone who reads this understands.
Take care.
I love the first stanza, the weariness it captures, the burdensomeness it conveys. I can feel the heaviness.
The last two lines are perfect.
I think this poem captures the emotion so well.
Beautiful, Maya. There's something a little melancholy about the solstice- it's an ending of sorts (the days will start to get shorter and shorter now.)
I love the photo.
Love the opening stanza
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