all my grandparents are dead
all of them now live with me
and I am as tired as they are
calibrating so many endings
sadness settles--a misreading
a waiting whimpers in veins
possibilities turn impossible
like feelings I try not to feel
I've told myself: I've no right
things are good, it's summer
even skies are on my side &
sunshine is... the purest kiss
but I go full sol to soulful
to the solstice of solipsism
I know I... cannot fly, yet
mindlessly look for wings
_________________
Pic: Out with Max and Huck early in the morning. The dogwood friends gave me for my birthday is in full bloom this week. L said she'd picked out a Kousa, because it is a late bloomer like me. She really gets me :).
12 comments:
I've come to believe that sadness is OK. We miss people we love. We miss who we may have been - or were -- even though we are quite happy with what and who we are. We see a world we loved collapse. I keep reminding myself "It could be so much worse, I have people I love, who love me, I'm not starving, have a roof on my head, my needs are met and more." But sometimes it just comes..I think anyone who reads this understands.
Take care.
I love the first stanza, the weariness it captures, the burdensomeness it conveys. I can feel the heaviness.
The last two lines are perfect.
I think this poem captures the emotion so well.
Beautiful, Maya. There's something a little melancholy about the solstice- it's an ending of sorts (the days will start to get shorter and shorter now.)
I love the photo.
Love the opening stanza
Is it weird to say I love the sense of melancholy in this poem? I don’t want you feel melancholy but I love how well you captured the heaviness of life.
Thanks, Jeanie. I think I do feel some shame... but as you rightly point out, it's human. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Nance. I want to write something beautiful. I'm going to use childhood as a prompt (inspired by "Night Rides") .
Jenny--Hahaha. I'd forgotten about the real solstice. Thanks, I guess :)
Thank you, Steph. (I feel you're saying the cadence changes after, and I agree--it just happened and I didn't have the energy to work on it.)
Thank you, Lisa. I feel a bit self-conscious, but anxiety and sadness are part of being human, I guess.
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