"look for the helpers"

Scout and Huck aren't really helping here while I'm trying to fit some yoga into a crazy-busy day. 🥰

And also, Mr. Roger's message for kids isn't really the best thing for grown ass adults...

But I've been so lucky with helpers lately whether it's EM shouldering more of our collaborative work than she needs to, people at work cutting me a whole lot of slack around after-hours responsibilities, all the people reaching out in support, or Nu making the best sandwich I've ever eaten (for my Boss Day today).

Things might not be great right now, but everyone in my life understands and is trying to help. I'm so grateful for that.

one big (and lots of small) thing(s) done

The honorary inductions went beautifully. The student EC-led ceremony was perfection and my behind-the scenes-work paid off in a seamless and stress-free way. 

That's one big thing off my calendar--after the NWSA convention is done next week, I'll have so much less on my plate from a work standpoint!

I scheduled a ton of meetings after my three classes because I was going to be staying late for the induction anyway (five meetings actually: one social, one committee, one curricular, one NWSA, and one financial). I'm proudest about the financial one. I now know how to file an expense report versus hoping someone from the financial office will rescue me--not even dreading the filing deadline tomorrow, because it's already all done!

I went to work in early morning mists and drove home with a brilliant half moon. At had hung out with Nu while I was at the work thing. So I got to see and hug all four kids when I got home. (I'll never stop wishing this happened every day.) Then I chatted with At as we folded his laundry and I dropped him back to his place in Lansing. Time to relax with a big bowl of biriyani (I made it 24 hours ago for At's Boss Day today) and whatever bad show I can rustle up. 

tiny, new habit

A new-ish thing I've been doing with Scout and Huck--early morning walks. It's just 20 minutes, and it's a multitasking beauty. It lets me make sure that Nu's walk to the school bus stop is a bit safer + see that Nu gets on the bus, I get to see beautifully starry skies, and of course these guys love it! There's so much excitement from the moment I pull on sweats over my pajamas and clip their leashes. 

If we pass by the bus stop at the right time, Nu'll say hello to Scout and Huck and they'll get so excited about it because it's IN THE STREET and there are OTHER KIDS!! After the big, yellow school bus takes Nu, we race home. Then... 20-mins later, I'm on the road to work.

But I get to do one fun thing with the babies before the to-do list on my calendar. 

Pic: Scout and Huck and their mid-morning snooze. My day didn't look like this... but this is certainly the dream.

getting by

Lots of obstacles lately, but I'm getting by with lots of help from friends and family.

And also, a bit of my internal Pollyanna and my mantra that things "could be worse." 

I'm grateful this weekend to EM who reminded me that the spate of stress in the last few months "is not normal." And to BSL who told me that while my gratitude was great, I shouldn't "minimize what is happening" to me either. Noted. (I am really tired of sounding and seeming like such a downer these days though.)

Big A is hanging in there, fending for himself, and ordering delivery. Still sick.

Pic: BSL and I had to scramble over these fallen trees in Sanford Woods. It seemed metaphorically connected to this post. 

it was going to be a good day

The roofers are finally gone/done (for now at least). So I did hours of yard work to celebrate the removal of the scaffolding that killed my plants. After living under tarps and boarded up skylights since June, it was glorious to clear up the tea garden and hang out in the sunshine with Scout and Huck.

Then Big A called to say he was sick and then it turned out he has Covid--again. (He'd had it May 2020 when he went to help out in NYC.) I kind of want to go to Milwaukee and bring him home, but he thinks he should quarantine in place.

Now I can't think about anything except how he's there all by himself with no one to help.

muses... musings...

StephLove commented that it must be inspiring to live close to some beautiful woods. It's true. I'm lucky to live so close to Sanford, Baker, and Edy. Even bounded by arterial roads, apartment complexes, and campus buildings--once inside those woods, everything else falls away and it feels like pure forest bathing. 

Every year, I can't stop taking pictures of fall woods! This is Baker Woods with L yesterday. 

It was cold when we started out and all I had on was a cardigan (I wanted to look presentable for the meeting I had scheduled soon after our return), but L marched me back into the house so I could get my puffy walking coat. That was a good decision. I once cried when we were out walking because I was cold, so L has been a bit vigilant about making sure I am warmly layered since then.

We swung by the Horticultural Gardens to see the brick installed in honor of LB and TB's wedding anniversary and did a small loop in Baker woods before heading back home. Then meetings, prep, Nu, Scout, Huck, etc. But that hour in the woods stayed with me and filled me.

I was supposed to host BSL and EM for pizza and a movie tonight. But after teaching, independent study advising, a ton of paperwork for Spring term + the honorary induction, and a nearly two-hour long faculty meeting that did not follow a clear agenda, I had the beginnings of a headache and had to bail. I'm so looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. 
 

"saw your picture today"

How I love this picture.  It must be from 14 years ago... At reading to Nu...

I have this picture taped to a bookshelf over my desk at work, so I see it all the time... 

But it still fells me with its sweetness and silliness (they're reading Goodnight Moon in a scary voice) every time I catch sight of it. 

It's sitting in my text messages today because I texted it to At when I was trying to wheedle him into hanging out with Nu next week when I have to work late... I think it worked!

I am not questioning

why the scribbles on my tongue

the message in your hand

lie briefly warring

you know it, and now, I know it

how we pin these colors

to our chests

where they flap like alive things

startling us--for we'd forgotten

we're never alone  

even in these gold-shouldered woods

when our souls are like tiny ghosts

slowing       unstoppable

Pic: Sanford Woods, MSU (on Sunday)
 

the general forecast

maybe ten thousand feet above us 

clouds are tonguing other clouds

stories are being built

way down here, I track every one

of your expressions, use them

to read my fortune 

soon a roving satellite will learn 

when your smile dawns, I can

ask you about/for anything 

Pic: Red Cedar, MSU
 

Happy Diwali!

May there be bright and sweet  happiness through the year!  

It was a long work day today, but we'd already had a pooja last night after birthday cake (with the whole fam), and another one tonight (just Nu, the pups, and me). 

Also, I love this picture of my babies' hands.

In "baby" news: At took some diyas and a box of kumkum to set up his own small altar at his place. Nu had to come in to work with me Friday and today (odd four-day weekend)--I expected him to be grumpy about it, but he was quite sweet and annotated the new Taylor Swift for me in the car. 

In "India" news: Lots of pictures of beautiful lamps and altars from home. One of the sweetest holiday videos this weekend was one of my parents and assorted aunts and uncles playing dumb charades at a party. It made me laugh (and also cry). 

Happy Birthday, Big A!

I'm a...

Made some beautiful pokè bowls for Big A's pre birthday dinner and then hopped off to a girlfriend's pre-halloween party. 

I got the sparkly jumpsuit in a post Xmas sale in the kids' section at Meijer (8$$$$$) and the mask was from a souvenir store from the trip to New Orleans earlier this year (3$?) so a very inexpensive ensemble. 

As to what it is exactly, I call it the "I'm a mouse. Duh!"

🐭😛

there is no deadline

I started a letter when I was nine years old
then I began adding pictures of skies
wondering what to say

I've now moved to a place knit with passions

and second chances and curious panics

happy in some ways

my letter unfinished: words run down, hidden

like heartbeat or birds far from home 

I've stayed unwritten

in the place I asked for

one day, I thought I saw 

you--back in life, though

not in mine

                     I followed you through

                     streets--you had errands

                     but no home

                                                         now I make a boat for you

                                                         clean it of sadness and

                                                         stock it with food 

                                                lay in strong thoughts

                                                and soft words and 

                                                welcome shores

                     if there is a way, maybe

                     this is it, you'll lift like

                     a tide, finding love

until it sets me free too

so I too can live--

as I already do

falling asleep thoughts

Here's Huckie looking so much like Falkor in The Neverending Story (ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah aah ah).

I think I termed Scout Falkor before, but nah, it's Huck. 

Got a ton of work, grading, and prep done. Discovered that Nu really likes chickpeas today. Did lots of planning for Big A's birthday. Did my laundry too, but can't count it "done" until I put it away (which will probably take 3-4 business days 😏).

I'm going to bed and it's not even 1:00 am yet! Nice!

autumnal

Long (good!) teaching day. It's like clockwork: midterm comes around and I realize I love my students. Things have been difficult at home this year, so I worried I wouldn't be able to connect... but Whoomp, There It Is! "I'm taking it back to the old school/'cos I'm an old fool." I'm glad to know my heart still works.

Big A is back in MKE; Nu hung out at a friend's until I got home; roofers didn't show again; I got to see At on a live podcast last night; Nu and I got most things checked off our list today. There are some yays in there. 

Pic: Scout calling Nu to come in for dinner.

weekend vibes

Yes. 

That's a folding camp chair. 

In the river. 

With a pumpkin sitting in it.

Happy Fall, Y'all. I guess.

(Homecoming weekend at MSU. And we went to our first halloween party of the year. Not sure if I'm ready for break to be over... but it is.)

 

"L(ove)" Notes

• L and I were both feeling feeble and fragile (L is post-Covid and I'm post-Covid-shot) so we went for a gentle stroll in the woods behind L's house. I thought this turn in the river was absolutely breathtaking. 

• L is just the best at sharing her view and the river--she lets the whole street keep their kayaks in her yard.

• Also, when I called my mom this morning, I got a whole carful of aunts and uncles, which was fun. When I told my mom that I was sick from the Covid booster, she said, "Oh, you did that? We're not even wearing masks over here, everyone is fine." My mom does her own thing, so I didn't say anything. However, when I archly relayed this story to L, she rightly pointed out that *I* had had a bunch of people in my house for pooja a week ago and that everyone has their own magical thinking about Covid. She's not a friend who always agrees with me 😃.

• Nu needed some extra kindness today, and L was the one to give it to him when he brought L some salad for dinner.

• L just called me sounding very excited... it turns out that Michael Moore, whose Substack she subscribes to, had quoted At from an article in the Washington Post. 

"there and back again"

Usually our hikes are fun and funny excursions, but a couple of times this week, Big A and I have come back from our trip to Sparty mad at each other. It's always the same thing too: he thinks we should all move to Milwaukee; I think not. 

I get that I make a fraction of what he does, but I'm actually the one who enjoys their job. Plus, Nu is halfway through high school (muddled though the experience has been); At is close by (at least for now); and Scout and Huck are comfortable where we are now (and how much they'd enjoy the yard was one of the reasons we moved here).

On the other hand, I miss him; I get how tedious the travel to and fro is for him; and I know having a second home and travel/commuting adds to our expenses...

Anyway... 

Nu and I got our boosters and flu shots. I'm not feeling like a zombie yet!

Pic: Fall color along the Red Cedar.
 

"hit me with your best shot"

Today was gray and rainy and full of work. But yesterday was a lovely hike with LB and RS heading west along the Red Cedar. It was my first real hike with L since her bout of Covid, and I loved it so much.

And now we're at midterm break.

I scheduled my Covid booster shots and flu shot, but am a bit sad knowing I'm about to lose at least two days of midterm break to my usual severe post-vaccination response. That sucks so bad, but it's the responsible thing to do. Perhaps I'll reward myself with a massage next week. 

And also, Big A encouraged me to get it now because he's home until Monday and "can take care of me." 🥰 (And then he ruined it by saying usually all he has to do is periodically poke me to make sure I'm still alive. 🙃)