sleep.less.

my voice scatters on the floor

my eyes want even more 

I'm still here... I think

the hours are many and small 

I crawl... to whichever hour 

will take all of me 

____________

Pic: Almost time to say goodbye to this flower bed. 

sweet grapes

So strange that StephLove should comment, "It's important to know what to skip sometimes..." At the start of today I could have really used some advice on what to skip. Thankfully, things worked themselves out as they tend to do.

Somehow, there were four work events and meetings scheduled in the 4:00 - 5:30 pm block today. I guess that reflects the intersectional nature of my work existence as a woman-identified, humanities prof who teaches in the first-year-seminar program and co-advises our International Club. The FYS meeting was thankfully canceled, and DD offered to represent me at the Humanities meeting, so I went to the two receptions, had a great time at both, and networked extra hard with the one other person who also attended both.

Pic: Didn't have time for a walk today, but this is a pic of an accidental (volunteer?) grapevine out by the garage. Not as fancy as Nicole who now lives on a literal vineyard and clips herself some grapes for a snack--but although these grapes were tiny, they were a fierce kind of sweet. 

the weekend's odds and ends

In all, a quiet and gentle end to the weekend. 

• We didn't go to the neighborhood potluck, but I did go to the opening of RR's new wellness place to support them; 
• Nu didn't go to homecoming, but hung out with friends who were prepping for homecoming all afternoon; 
• a rambling discussion over tea at At's place in which I discovered that Machiavelli had republican tendencies and that Gramsci thought that the audience for The Prince was the working class because rulers had surely already used most of those Machiavellian moves (!); 
• and at long last, a lovely reunion and garrulous conversation with L who showed up around tea time, and I sat at her feet (literally--as I couldn't bear to be too far from her) and caught her up to everything that's been going on.

In other news: 

• How is it already October? 
• [Insert a rant about the American healthcare system here] Big A's new health insurance coverage hasn't YET kicked in. 
• I finished The Fraud and loved it. It gave me White Teeth vibes in its reliance on cross-cultural solidarity and the way the title can be positioned to reflect on several aspects of the narrative. Lovely. 
• I think the new Ann Patchett Tom Lake is next. 

Pic: I love the way the kids placed the flower in the palm of the baby Ganesha they gave me one Mothers' Day. It looks like he is holding it out to me...

O M G(anesha)

We have little Ganeshas all over the house and at least once a year, they get sprinkled with rosewater, decorated with turmeric and kumkum, and offered fresh flowers and berries. 

Today was that day. (We usually do this on Ganesh Chaturthi, but that was a working day + At was traveling.) 

The kids have always liked the thrill of seeking out the Ganeshas in every room. Some have been in the same place forever--like the big Ganesha in the vestibule, but many get moved around when I rearrange, and some--like the Ganesha in a rocking chair I picked up over the summer's trip to India--are new.

This year, I offered a cash prize to the kid who guessed how many Ganeshas we have. We have 30 Ganeshas! There were some rascally disputes about who guessed what--so they both split the grand prize. (It was a 20; I am so money 😂.) (Also: I just remembered that we missed the Ganeshas in the basement!)

Pic: At and Nu with offerings for Ganesha. Huck and Max are here because they love banana, dried mango, and pumpkin cookies.

unexpected excitement(s)

Good excitement: Getting a text from At after my day of eight meetings asking if they could come home for dinner (YES!) and take Nu back to their place for a sleepover (so cute!). And then EM texted saying they'd found "a very nice mooncake without egg yolks" for us to share for today's Autumn moon festival. 

Bad excitement: Me speeding about 5 miles faster than usual to get home and make dinner. 

Good excitement: Everyone said they'd be here at different times so Big A ate at the counter while I cooked... but then EM was here... and At was here too before too long. So we all sat down to dinner, noisily talking over each other, making jokes about corpos and high school and each other before we started on the mooncakes. 

Bad excitement: After everyone had left (Big A for work, EM to have Zoom dinner with their mom, At and Nu for their sleepover), I smelled something like a gas leak in the garage. There is no gas line there AFAIK, and when I called the company they wanted me to call 911, so I did. Then a big firetruck and the nice fire chiefs came by and drove Huck and Max bonkers. The fire people did a ton of checks but thankfully neither they not their various gadgets found anything.

Good excitement: Realizing close to 1:00 am as the firetruck pulled away and I walked Max in the backyard that the overcast skies had cleared... and I had a perfect view of tonight's supermoon!

Pic: Nu and At on the driveway as they set off for the evening. 

class... and caste

I told my favorite class that they were my favorite class today. They have such wonderful insights and analyses so I spend a lot of time when I'm not actively prepping class talking to them in my head and thinking up ancillary material they would appreciate.

For instance, today we read the late, great Kamilah Aisha Moon's poem "Fannie Lou Hamer"  and it really resonated--especially with the education majors who were reminded of all the ongoing school book bans where it seems like people believe racism will go away if we don't talk about it. 

At my PWI, I've always tried to offer different subject positions so people don't defensively feel locked into positions of white supremacy. Whiteness doesn't preclude people from being on the side of justice... You can be anti-racist... you can be Victoria Liuzzo! You can be John Brown!* I got to try that out for myself today while listening to news of the California caste ban. The first part of the show has the amazing Thenmozhi Soundarajan (whose book I should finish soon), and there are defensive protesters in latter half of the segment claiming the legislation isn't needed because caste doesn't exist anymore. (Eyeroll.) And I checked in with myself, and no--I felt no solidarity with the "high-caste" woman who was making that argument; my solidarity is with the people fighting for justice and that's as it ought to be.

Pic: Huck and Max are confused about race. Huck says, "I'm brown like Mama." Max says, "Wait! I thought we were ginger like Dada?"

*Perhaps I should find some examples of people who weren't martyred though.

fall (in love)

George Eliot just made an appearance in the Zadie Smith novel I'm reading!

It's so cool because I know how much Smith loves 19th century novels, and her new novel is set in the 19th century and I was just thinking it that it read a bit like a George Eliot and suddenly there was George Eliot herself. Just a cameo for now, but who knows... I'm just over halfway through.

In any case it reminded me of this lovely quote by Eliot that is so perfect for this cloudy, moody, and perfectly fall day: "Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love — that makes life and nature harmonize. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one’s very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." (from Letter to Miss Lewis, Oct. 1, 1841)

Early this morning, I did a handful of tough (for me) things I'd been ignoring (set a new timeline for the book, queried a weird credit card charge, fixed an IT snag on Canvas, addressed a difficulty with a coworker) and the rest of the day fell into a more predictable and productive pattern.

Pic: A mess of vines in dramatic fall colors from a short walk today.