I set up for our Zoom appointment in the same place where mom and I had taken our last photos together and showed up alone, because I didn't want anyone else's overly rational energy around. I'm not sure I could completely turn off my own rational mind either. As it was, I wondered if I was being told what I wanted to hear--that she was at peace, is always proud of me and always loves me.
But then, she said also that my mom is worried that I haven't been as social as I used to be and why haven't I been doing the things I love like walking by the water by myself and writing. That took me by surprise, because those last two things seemed fairly specific to me, and also true.
I took myself off on a long walk as soon as we got off the call. I was told swans would be a sign from my mother. Mom frequently mistook geese for swans, and we now have geese year-round, so I guess I'm in luck. She said nothing about Scout whose third anniversary was yesterday.
Pic: Redbuds in bloom by The Red Cedar; the floods have receded.
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