Saturday, June 29, 2024

holding on to love

Spent all day with TJA, who's visiting for the weekend. And it was like having the perfect visit (beer garden, walks, talks, puppy times, thrifting, falafel stand, book store, massages, Thai food).

We were young mamas together, and now our youngest ones are nearly grown, and our sisterhood has held. My only worry before TJA arrived was about holding my tongue about Dave Chappelle to whom she's very close and about whom I have opinions. But even that came up at dinner and we both said our earnest pieces and then we just held each other tight for a long time.

I'm afraid I've neglected my little family though. Nu had plans with a friend, so they were ok. But when I texted Big asking when he'd be ready for dinner, he texted back "Two hours ago" with a tongue-out emoji. (There were leftovers from Friday's dinner and he's a grown-up in a house with a stocked pantry and freezer so no real harm done though.)

Pic: TJA and me in the tea garden; pic by Nu.

10 comments:

Gillian said...

Nice.

Nance said...

It's really difficult to have a serious difference with a good friend (or family member) and rise above it to stay close. You want to be sure to make your position known because your principles are so important to you, but you love and treasure your friendship. It's hard to know that your friend could see things so differently, too. Sigh.

And aren't husbands so fussy/jealous about us spending Me Time sometimes? Funny how it isn't the same the other way around.

Nicole said...

Oh gosh, exactly what Nance said. Although I have severe regrets about letting something come between me and my much-loved aunt, who is now passed. I very much regret having a different worldview come between us the way it did, and now I can never undo it.
But what I really wanted to say is LOOK AT YOUR TEA GARDEN. That is goals, my friend.

Jenny said...

I want to see more of this tea garden! And... Dave Chappelle, I did not know that. I like to think these people are just ignorant? But maybe I'm being too lenient.

maya said...

Gillian--Thanks!

Nance--HAHAHAHA That last part! (And also that first part... I think I'm getting better at this.)

Nicole--I'm sorry... I'm just giving people beyond a certain stage a free pass. I know plenty of people, like my parents, who really try and get it... but many don't want to, and if they're that old, I just leave them be. Thank you re. tea garden :)!

Jenyy--Thank you :). I don't know what else we can do...

StephLove said...

This spring we saw a play at Dave Chappelle's high school alma mater (North was reviewing it and Beth and I tagged along). He's definitely not cancelled there. There were all kind of photos and articles about him posted in the halls. It took me aback.

StephLove said...

Oh, and I have family (on both sides) with very different political views from mine. There was a lot unfriending and unfollowing (by me and of me) during the early Trump years. But I wasn't close with any of those relatives to start with, so repairing those ties doesn't seem worth it. It makes me sad, but in an abstract why-can't-we-get-along way, not because I actually miss them.

maya said...

Steph--I remember him being invited to give a talk at his old DC-area alma mater recently (in the last handful of years). Your feeling that he's very popular there (and on Netflix too) is spot on.

It's always sad when a relationship ends, even if it had become toxic. I fear things are going to get acrimonious over the next few months...

NGS said...

I'm pondering writing a post about my defense of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian that riled up some of my co-workers. It is hard when there are topics with such extreme differences that can be hard to avoid (although I go months without a Chappelle mention!). Good for you for looking beyond those differences.

maya said...

Engie--I'd really love to read your piece!

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