Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

the general forecast

maybe ten thousand feet above us 
clouds are tonguing other clouds
stories are being built

way down here, I track every one
of your expressions, use them
to read my fortune 

soon a roving satellite will learn 
when your smile dawns, I can
ask you about/for anything 

Pic: Red Cedar, MSU

Monday, October 24, 2022

Happy Diwali!

May there be bright and sweet  happiness through the year!  

It was a long work day today, but we'd already had a pooja last night after birthday cake (with the whole fam), and another one tonight (just Nu, the pups, and me). 

Also, I love this picture of my babies' hands.

In "baby" news: At took some diyas and a box of kumkum to set up his own small altar at his place. Nu had to come in to work with me Friday and today (odd four-day weekend)--I expected him to be grumpy about it, but he was quite sweet and annotated the new Taylor Swift for me in the car. 

In "India" news: Lots of pictures of beautiful lamps and altars from home. One of the sweetest holiday videos this weekend was one of my parents and assorted aunts and uncles playing dumb charades at a party. It made me laugh (and also cry). 

Saturday, October 22, 2022

I'm a...

Made some beautiful pokรจ bowls for Big A's pre birthday dinner and then hopped off to a girlfriend's pre-halloween party. 

I got the sparkly jumpsuit in a post Xmas sale in the kids' section at Meijer (8$$$$$) and the mask was from a souvenir store from the trip to New Orleans earlier this year (3$?) so a very inexpensive ensemble. 

As to what it is exactly, I call it the "I'm a mouse. Duh!"


Friday, October 21, 2022

there is no deadline

I started a letter when I was nine years old
then I began adding pictures of skies
wondering what to say

I've now moved to a place knit with passions
and second chances and curious panics
happy in some ways

my letter unfinished: words run down, hidden
like heartbeat or birds far from home 
I've stayed unwritten

Thursday, October 20, 2022

in the place I asked for

one day, I thought I saw 
you--back in life, though
not in mine
                     I followed you through
                     streets--you had errands
                     but no home
                                                         now I make a boat for you
                                                         clean it of sadness and
                                                         stock it with food 
                                                lay in strong thoughts
                                                and soft words and 
                                                welcome shores
                     if there is a way, maybe
                     this is it, you'll lift like
                     a tide, finding love
until it sets me free too
so I too can live--
as I already do

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

falling asleep thoughts

Here's Huckie looking so much like Falkor in The Neverending Story (ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah aah ah).

I think I termed Scout Falkor before, but nah, it's Huck. 

Got a ton of work, grading, and prep done. Discovered that Nu really likes chickpeas today. Did lots of planning for Big A's birthday. Did my laundry too, but can't count it "done" until I put it away (which will probably take 3-4 business days ๐Ÿ˜).

I'm going to bed and it's not even 1:00 am yet! Nice!

Monday, October 17, 2022


Long (good!) teaching day. It's like clockwork: midterm comes around and I realize I love my students. Things have been difficult at home this year, so I worried I wouldn't be able to connect... but Whoomp, There It Is! "I'm taking it back to the old school/'cos I'm an old fool." I'm glad to know my heart still works.

Big A is back in MKE; Nu hung out at a friend's until I got home; roofers didn't show again; I got to see At on a live podcast last night; Nu and I got most things checked off our list today. There are some yays in there. 

Pic: Scout calling Nu to come in for dinner.

Sunday, October 16, 2022

weekend vibes


That's a folding camp chair. 

In the river. 

With a pumpkin sitting in it.

Happy Fall, Y'all. I guess.

(Homecoming weekend at MSU. And we went to our first halloween party of the year. Not sure if I'm ready for break to be over... but it is.)


Saturday, October 15, 2022

"L(ove)" Notes

  • L and I were both feeling feeble and fragile (L is post-Covid and I'm post-Covid-shot) so we went for a gentle stroll in the woods behind L's house. I thought this turn in the river was absolutely breathtaking. 
  • L is just the best at sharing her view and the river--she lets the whole street keep their kayaks in her yard.
  • Also, when I called my mom this morning, I got a whole carful of aunts and uncles, which was fun. When I told my mom that I was sick from the Covid booster, she said, "Oh, you did that? We're not even wearing masks over here, everyone is fine." My mom does her own thing, so I didn't say anything. However, when I archly relayed this story to L, she rightly pointed out that *I* had had a bunch of people in my house for pooja a week ago and that everyone has their own magical thinking about Covid. She's not a friend who always agrees with me ๐Ÿ˜ƒ.
  • Nu needed some extra kindness today, and L was the one to give it to him when he brought L some salad for dinner.

Thursday, October 13, 2022

"there and back again"

Usually our hikes are fun and funny excursions, but a couple of times this week, Big A and I have come back from our trip to Sparty mad at each other. It's always the same thing too: he thinks we should all move to Milwaukee; I think not. 

I get that I make a fraction of what he does, but I'm actually the one who enjoys their job. Plus, Nu is halfway through high school (muddled though the experience has been); At is close by (at least for now); and Scout and Huck are comfortable where we are now (and how much they'd enjoy the yard was one of the reasons we moved here).

On the other hand, I miss him; I get how tedious the travel to and fro is for him; and I know having a second home and travel/commuting adds to our expenses...


Nu and I got our boosters and flu shots. I'm not feeling like a zombie yet!

Pic: Fall color along the Red Cedar.

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

"hit me with your best shot"

Today was gray and rainy and full of work. But yesterday was a lovely hike with LB and RS heading west along the Red Cedar. It was my first real hike with L since her bout of Covid, and I loved it so much.

And now we're at midterm break.

I scheduled my Covid booster shots and flu shot, but am a bit sad knowing I'm about to lose at least two days of midterm break to my usual severe post-vaccination response. That sucks so bad, but it's the responsible thing to do. Perhaps I'll reward myself with a massage next week. 

And also, Big A encouraged me to get it now because he's home until Monday and "can take care of me." ๐Ÿฅฐ (And then he ruined it by saying usually all he has to do is periodically poke me to make sure I'm still alive. ๐Ÿ™ƒ)

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Happy 15th birthday, Nu ๐Ÿ’—

We celebrated Nu's 15th today--donuts at school, Sansu sushi takeout, a pistachio-raspberry cake made by Big A, brownies made by LB, phone calls from grandparents, and enough presents and gift cards to keep Nu in emo swag for a while. 

What a difficult year it has been for this kid in so many ways... I hope this next year is better. 

(I remember picking the date and showing up at the NYU hospital to be induced. I remember it like it was yesterday, but somehow it has been 15 years.)

(And also--speaking of parenting--the love and pain in this voicemail from President Biden to his son is everywhere today... and it breaks me every time.)

Sunday, October 09, 2022

fall meditation

trees stand as they did in my childhood
home: tall... bending for me
our stance an interchange

I named them as I did the sky before me
worshipping them as constancy
and also transformation 

now I look to sky and trees in imagining
knowing them from memory
loving them as prophecy

my patience both placental and personal 
a foundation sturdy with roots
from another century

Pic: While coming back from watching Ponniyin Selvan with AS. 

Saturday, October 08, 2022

blessed ordinary

every now and then something I've seen
thousands of times surprises me--
like blue skies, clouds

then it's as if I dreamed this stuff up
I'm so electrified I hardly know 
where to begin

now that it's all here in front of me 
unbelievable, extraordinary,
eternal like salvation

suspended like a noisy happiness
I'm tripping as if I can give--
of myself to the miracle


Pic: Skyscape as EM drove us home. I'm back and delighted to be alone for another day in a blissfully clean and quiet home.

Thursday, October 06, 2022

people all over the world

Our roundtable went well. It's part of a larger project, so it was great to know that other teachers were interested in having this conversation as well. 

EM and I treated ourselves to a poke bowls for dinner and then headed off to our rooms for quiet time. I'm loving my grown up quiet time.

But suddenly I started thinking about how my fam is currently spread out across three states (me in Indiana, At in Michigan, Big A with Nu, Scout, and Huck in his apartment in Wisconsin) and sleep fled. 

And then I started thinking about my parents on the other side of the world in Bangalore, my sister on her vacation in Goa, my mom and her sisters heading off to Pondycherry for the pooja soon, and so on and so on... I stayed up for a a long time. I'm hilarious.

Pic: Big A's pic of the pups in bed in Milwaukee.

Tuesday, October 04, 2022

a bit of the rainbow

 Made a couple of soups early this morning for a baby cousin recovering from meningitis. I had to drive two hours to Toledo to drop them off, so Big A came along to keep me company... I'm almost all talked out at the moment.

It's my 'Boss Day,' and I got... Subway. What can I say? I love those sandwiches! 

And somehow, it seems we're almost midway through this semester.

Pic: Not quite a whole rainbow, but a bit of one... I'll take it. 

Monday, October 03, 2022

happiness in ten minutes or less

I was just about to drop At back to his place in Lansing after dinner when Big A showed up from Milwaukee. 

It had been so long since all of us have been together... So after hugs and hellos, I grouped these five around my reading chair so I could take a picture.

(Huck loves being picked up, Scout hates it.)

We got ten minutes together, and I have a picture that makes me happy every time I look at it. 

Sunday, October 02, 2022

until next time

SD and I met 25 years ago when we were both in in Jerusalem for a few months. We've never lived in the same city since, and there's twenty years between us, but we've been there for all of each other's big events. We like to joke that we've seen each other through two marriages and a thousand weekly crises.  

Every place I've moved, the refrigerator magnets she gifted me get put up first. Every party I throw, her math for hors d'oeuvres (1.5 x #of guests) gets used. Whenever we're single, we spend the big holidays together. 

SD is a dynamo so we fit in a lot into our four days together this week. A lot for me that is. There was a vineyard and a fall festival SD wanted to go to that we didn't make. But we did get in long morning walks, lots of parks, multiple golus, fancy dinners, a Powwow, lots of heart-to-hearts, lots of games, and lots of hugs. I got to edit her online profile and vet her suitors and she defrosted my refrigerator and taught me to use a coffee maker. She made me promise I'd go to the conference next week. 

I miss her already.

Pic: Healing Gardens @ MSU.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

hard first step

Titled "Out of Reach," this installation really spoke to me. 

It's part of this year's campus-centric Art Prize and the student creators indicate that it's a representation of accessibility issues in our world. 

How many things are impossible because that first step is so insurmountable...

And then looks like procrastination, intractability, or delinquency...

It's a good reminder that I am an elder in this world and can reach out when people don't show up. (Just in case it's because they can't show up.)

Also it seemed so faraway when we postponed the visit in August, but now SD is here! SD is here! SD is here!


A cold day, but beautiful.  Walks with some of my favorite people: L, Big A,  me... Pic: An icy Red Cedar River