Feeling a bit angsty today:
So my very loving aunt and uncle who were worried about me live in India and are low-key amused by our President and prone to saying he's right about some things. I'm so sad-mad about this disconnect--the guy they like is the reason racism is on the rise and they have to be afraid for me!
I'm glad I was able to get weekly events going for Women's History Month... I've always been happy to help with this, but it's not my job. There are people in charge of this kind of programming. Why aren't they doing it?
The next time I go on a walk by myself, I'm putting my phone on mute. Just saying. I'm sure my family can figure out whether someone is at the door by themselves and I don't need to know that the heat is out again or that the puppies made a mess until I get home.
Bestie KB's dad died last night. He had been in decline and then was in hospice care, but somehow I thought they still had some more time. This is like what happened with Lisa's uncle (and KB is in MPLS too). I am so sad for KB plus this makes me fretful because my professor's dad died last week too, and it's making me anxious about my own aging dad. (Nu's passport is messed up because of the Trump administration and now I don't know if we're going to be able to visit my dad in India this summer... ugh)
Pic: Well... at least the skies are blue and the trees are greening again...
18 comments:
I agree with muting your phone when you are out on a walk, the world will wait!
UGH on Nu's passport, is there a way to change it? Or will you try to wait it out until sanity returns so Nu can live their authentic life? I don't want you to miss a visit with your dad in India for sure.
Beautiful blue sky! <3
What's the current marker on their passport? I think you can still travel with an existing passport that has an X marker, you just can't get a new one. (Though, it goes without saying things could change at any time.) Or is the problem a mismatch between different kinds of ID?
Yes, I don't understand the disconnect so many people seem to have. How are people not seeing what we're seeing? It's mystifying (and frustrating, obviously.)
Put your phone on mute and have a peaceful walk! Blue skies will clear your mind and raise your spirits.
Take care.
I can almost feel your frustration and disappointment in others. It's so hard. A truly solitary walk in Nature is a good start towards claiming your Peace again. XO
Oh Maya, that's a lot. I'm sorry. I have a similar thing with my very beloved aunt and honestly, I have had to mute her on all fronts. Because the fact is that I do love her very much and her twin sister, who had similar (actually more extreme) political views, died in 2022, and I never reconciled the anger I had with the woman who was instrumental in my upbringing. My aunties, but especially the one who died, were the only adults in my childhood who made me feel like it was okay to be me, and to not to have to change so that I would be loved. It was a really hard disconnect and I don't want to have those same feelings with my surviving aunt.
I think the default is to always "ask mom" and when "ask mom" is not an option, everyone will figure shit out. You know? So I fully support your muting of your phone. They can figure it out or they can wait.
I was wondering about Nu's passport right now, but I see that Steph has already posed the question. Fingers crossed that it will work and they will be able to go to India. It feels really important that they do that, I get it, time is fleeting.
I think muting your phone is an excellent idea when you’re out for a walk. You deserve that time to yourself without interruptions! I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s dad. It’s so sad how quickly a person can decline. I really thought my uncle would have more time. After my uncle passed, I had this feeling of ‘well I guess this is just how life is going to be going forward and I’ll have to continue to say goodbye to beloved family members.’ Which is such a bleak view to have, and yet that’s kind of how I feel to some extent now that I’m entering mid-life.
Thanks for the vote on phone muting, J.
We'll have to have some tough conversations and make some tough decisions about travel soon...
I saw that you attended that passport workshop, Steph. The marker would be a problem, and I wonder if the name would be as well due to "a mismatch between different kinds of ID?"
Ha. I've spent all day indoors today. In awe of you making time for outdoor movement every day!
Thanks!
A Very Grumpy Day. I've let it slip away, thankfully. Thank you for the good vibes, Nance. XO
They're twins! I think I've been conflating your two aunts into a composite aunt, Nicole. I'm sorry for the loss of your aunts--that's very similar to the dynamic I had growing up with my uncle and aunt--total support, understanding, and love.
There's a lot of confusion about passports right now (you may remember we officially changed Nu's name, and now their docs don't match). But yes, seeing my dad AND mom (she's no Spring chicken, although she acts like it <3) is super important.
I get it, Lisa... Also, I think you may still be in an active period of grief when everything feels so unreal... And sometimes grief can be anticipatory, which I think is where I am lowkey...
The best thing is probably to consult a lawyer who specializes in LGBTQ issues about your specific situation if you are planning to travel internationally.
Yes, mute that phone! You have a lot on your plate and you don't need to have to add that during the peace and quiet of a walk. As for your trip, I hope things will happen so you can get to India and see your family. You're right about their aging and how important those visits are. Losing one's parents is very difficult and I'm sure the distance makes those connections even more critical. Breathe!
The India trip is certainly a priority, Jeanie... We'll have to make things work somehow. Thank you for the vote on phone muting :)!
The passport situation is making me SO ANGRY. People have gone through so many hoops to get their passport to match their gender identity and to take it all away like this is cruel. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, too.
I always take my phone with me when I go on walks and it's annoying to get Slack messages from work when I'm trying to disconnect so I fully support the mute option.
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