Well done, sisters!

I have no idea how long all this took to pull off, but L and Nu arranged this absolutely lovely 1920's birthday party for me. Everyone was dressed 1920s style, they serenaded me with the suffragette song from Mary Poppins, there was a table full of 1920s food (mimosas, waldorf salad, salmon and mushroom toasts, scones) and a folder full of all the reasons why they love me. They really love me 🙂.

I got a ton of presents, and also everyone chipped in for a Kousa Dogwood Tree, so we get to get together in the summer to plant it and party again.

Welcome

It was our honors society induction today. I'd been working on this for months, liaising with students, the international HQ, colleagues, catering, engraving, RSVPs, dues, and on and on. So I'm glad this went well, everyone was happy and well fed, I got a ton a compliments on how it turned out, and that it's over.

Next time though, perhaps I should make a better effort and speak at the event instead of begging a dear colleague to do it for me.

In the news

'Walk'

Elizabeth Warren dropping out of the race today is the gut-punch of post-birthday slumps.

We have such a long road ahead...

March Forth!

 A happy birthday. Went into my one class this morning beaming like a goofball to the delight of the teenagers in the room. I already felt spoiled by visits and presents at work but home spoiling was even more intense: strawberry cupcakes and cuddles and then dinner at Ruckus Ramen and presents with my loves. 😍 

Surprise!

It must be getting closer to my birthday! It means my parents have sent me Amazon gift cards, and since we no longer support Bezos with our own money, this gives me a chance to do some relatively guilt-free Amazon binging. I need waterproof hiking boots with deep treads, so away we go (online).

First flowers

 I guess this is happening :)!

Deep breath; now back again

Winter break has been lovely, and for the first time in forever, I feel like I did a bit of all the self care I'd been yearning for months--walks! yoga! haircut! massage!

Now to head back to the rest of this term. I hope my students have had a restful de-stressor as well; and if I've done my job well, they'll be ready for the rigors of research and presentation in the next eight weeks.

March Onward! (Ha. Happy March!)

Intergenerational Birthday Road Trip

In Detroit for the women's suffrage centennial art exhibit and lunch from many stalls inside Eastern Market. Lots of talks about the democratic candidates as animals (Warren is a dolphin), advice for the next decade in our lives, our best lessons in this one, and famous people born on my birthday (Vivaldi!).

Back home for pizza, and then off to the Wharton Center for My Fair Lady. The kids kept snoozing off, and after the show ended, we walked around in circles trying to find where we'd parked--thankfully, At spotted Bluey after about 20 minutes, just before Nu fell asleep on me again. 

I spy...

I came home from three hours of waiting to renew my driver's license (procrastinated too much to do it online, mail it in, or even make an appointment, and it's my birthday next week!) to At just "hanging out" in the tea garden, reading one of the books I got him for Christmas...

I know college is important, but it's lovely when he's home.

Money, Biriyani, and a Party

 I was looking for a yoga place near me when I found myself near the university credit union, and went in on a a whim to find that I did have one more small payment due to me from my adjunct class last term.  Ka-ching.

Made biriyani to celebrate being home, ate two bowls full, and was already in my jammies when Big A came home from his conference begging me to go to a party at D's. But I love Big A (and I love my birthday Anthro shipment), so I put on one of my new blouses, pulled on some old comfy jeans, and away we went.

It's a Snow Day, Deer

"It's a Snow Day, Deer" is practically what I said to a jubilant Nu after school called us this morning.

It's not too much snow--just enough, and since At is on Spring Break too, the human kids are playing Lego "bagame" in the basement.

The most strenuous thing I did today was drive to my massage appointment. I don't know who needs to hear this, but AM told me the last time I was there that lavender oil relieves pain, and this has been a life-changer.

Yoga and a movie; then more yoga and the same movie

The day started with a round of yoga with L and R, and then the rest of it was spent with J getting lunch, catching up, and watching Knives Out. I came home and did a round of yoga with the babies, found Knives Out for rent on Apple, and watched it again with the fam.

It's quite clever and very entertaining. I feel like we'll be reusing some phrases like "Nazi child" for years to come. Other movies suffering a similar fate at our hands: Step Brothers, Other Guys, Mean Girls, Clueless.

Winter Break Monday

 Woke up unhurried and unpanicked, and then a walk, a book, lots of tea, and cuddles.

Last Christmas

I wanted to give our neighbors's Baby E one of my favorite board books--Ezra Jack Keats' The Snowy Day. I even found a a little snow baby puppet I thought would bring out Baby E's cheeks and smile.

But the very next day, Baby E's parents went to visit grandparents in California for a month (smart of them), and then they moved into their own house sometime last month, and I never got the book to E.

This evening as we were walking home from Big A's Boss Day dinner at Sansu, we saw E's dad T on his way to pick up some things from their old place, and he stopped as he passed us to give us updates and I was able to pass on E's Christmas gift.

I did it! I gave it to someone special. It's not like we don't have snow after all. #GeorgeMichaelLives.

Saturday Hiking Club Day

Big A is in NY chasing cars and At is working on his women's center training, so it's just the puppies, Nu, and me.

After an icy hike through Harris Center (ski poles were used!) and a Target run, it's pajamas and pizza and Brooklyn 99 time.

Inside

 I can't say what I've been up to... I know I haven't seen anything outside of home, office, and car since the weekend! 

Monologues

MacCurdy thespians put together an amazing performance of Eve Ensler's A Memory. Monologue, Rant, and A Prayer and I'm so glad I stayed.

It does mean I'll be back on campus in less than 10 hours for a committee meeting, and it does mean I'll have missed family dinner, and Nu's bedtime... but still worth it.

Students--and what they're capable of--fill me with hope.

Frozen

 L and I found the Red Cedar completely frozen yesterday--ready for skates! We had patches of long silence on our walk, both of us working though things in the upcoming week. I love that none of it was awkward, except that part where she wanted to throw me a birthday party and I said no.

Strange Angles

A student has had their paper accepted to a conference, and I'm here with them in the Broad coffee shop, going over all the angles of their argument and being an encouraging audience.

In my WGS intro, we were talking about Georgia O'Keefe and Zaha Hadid and their reshaping of their fields in somewhat gyno-centric ways--and they loved it. Wish there was enough time to bring them to the Broad this term.

Leg Day

 L took this picture of me while I was taking a picture of the woods and I like how it makes me think about how my legs and the trunks of the trees are all similar. 

(I also think about how it looks like I was dying to pee.)

#FennerNatureCenter

Here's EVERYONE!

We're walking over to the Wharton Center for the "We Shall Overcome" concert with Damien Snead soon, but first a quick Valentine's Day potluck with so many lovely beloveds. 💓 

Big A said it was "quite unsettling" to feel so short (T and L are nearly up to 7 ft!) and hahahahaha. HAHAHHAHAHA. HAHAHA.

(Don't miss Scout's fluffy tail as he looks for "under-the-table" surprise treats.)

Mine

A couple of students interviewed me (and 41 others) for their "performing advocacy" class last term, and this term some of the interviews were spliced together as a play.

The little vignette of the nine-year-old bulked up by the comforter he's carrying up the stairs in the middle of the night, not hearing his parents asking "who's there?" because he has his headphones in, and in real danger of being mistaken for an intruder? That nine-year-old is my At. 

Where's At at?

First At wanted tickets for himself and a friend.

Then he decided he wasn't coming. So I gave his ticket to someone else.

Then he decided he wanted to go after all.

College kids!!

But the younger sibs miss their silly Nana... So I got an additional ticket online.

It's nicer than our original set of tickets actually, and I may just go sit in it by myself.

Happy little grasses

Nu is making thank you cards for all the counsellors at camp, and my amazing 12-year-old's amazing art is amazing.

Where's Dada? (Where's At?)

 Just me and the babies (Nu, Scout, Huckie) at dinner today. Big A was too sick for the soup that was meant to make him feel better and At's at college, of course--but I don't know that Scout and Huckie (or I!) get that. They still go scampering to claw his door open every time I ask "Where's Nana?" (And I ask that a lot!)

And the award goes to...

Scoutie for his role as a snow rabbit!
(Sitting here watching the Oscars now.)

And Saturday hiking club returns

Yay!
#ScottWoodsPark

And that's what's up

MI state senator Peter Lucido has repeatedly been reported for inappropriately sexual behavior, and J suggested drinks today to rally around one of her friends who's amongst those reporting him.

In characteristic J fashion, there were sassy crafts--here some ironic valentines. And later, a new group for us to join: Women's Association of Sassy Sophisticated Urban Professionals or WASSUP. Yup

Gray and Grrr

Um. Wow. I went into the garage to see if I had left my tea flask in Bluey, and was HORRIFIED TO FIND I HAD NOT PLUGGED HER IN WHEN I GOT HOME YESTERDAY. There was about a 36% charge, but that isn't enough to get me to work and back.

(I blame the excessively celebratory homecoming reception I received when I pulled in from work yesterday, and all three resident family members--Big A, Scout, and Huck--just kind of descended on me, all loud and huggy. I regret nothing, however. 💓)

Big A rushed home so I could take his car to work, but the scare I got when I realized I didn't have enough juice to get to work nicely shocked me out of my early morning haze. Coming back was a  nightmare that took twice as long as usual as everyone was going 40 mph and there were at least 15 cars that had skidded off the road (though thankfully, cars and people seemed ok) as a cautionary reminders.

In teaching news, I've had two students tell me in the last two days that they had looked forward to taking my class, but now that they're here, they don't like it. 😕

Bare Necessities

A million years ago, I instituted "Health Charts" for the family--everyone had to exercise at least once a day and eat five colors of food every day.

Last night, Big A and I (Nu is at camp until Friday) made some of my favorite things for dinner: four egg sammies, two ginger-sesame avocados, and a big spinach, apple, and goat cheese salad. And I ended up eating all of it, because Big A is post-call and was so tired... and then ended up falling asleep while hanging out with me, so I had seconds. (I must be terrific company!)

When I woke up this morning, I saw this sad picture Big A had texted to family chat pretending he had tried to meet the five-color rule.

Bahahahaha. 

Blue

 Sunshine today, but still pretty bleak. Nu is off to camp as they put it "for four days and three nights" after months of anticipation and excitement.

Clearly, I'm not yet ready for an empty nest.

Just the two of us

 

Just L and me today, trudging through Nancy Moore Park, and all the accumulated mud, brush, and fallen trees. 

It felt so good to be outside again, so good to be beside L again, 

hearing old stories and new.

Reunited

What a lovely day! 

It felt a bit like old times to take off along the Red Cedar with L!

At and S will show up at dinner for Boss-Day Biriyani, 

and I'll take some to L and T too.

Urban

Nu and I joined L for a trek after weeks and weeks...

I'm always intrigued by the artwork under the Beal St. Bridge.

Just like that

And it's the end of January.
I'm at least as dismayed and bewildered as these babies.

I haven't seen the sun in forever, and the grey pall is tentacling its way into every waking minute.

The only sunshine we got

 

via Nu's photosynthesis chart.

My Blahs Make SO MUCH MORE Sense!

Eat Fresh?

It's true we've eaten a lot of Subway recently (especially since Big A found out that we could have them delivered), but we usually eat in the rumpus room with some jokey show on.

I didn't expect to come home to this sad tableau, but Nu had lost TV privileges and it was what it was. Delicious!

"Take on Me"

I listen to NPR on the way to work and 80s and 90s pop on the way home. When friend C was contemplating a move and the longer commute, she told her therapist this quirk I'd shared with her, and according to C, she and her therapist pumped their fists into the air and yelled "yes!"

I don't know where I'm going with this story, but this evening, a car with the license plate "AHA" showed up just as "a-ha" turned up on the stereo. And I'm here to tell you that "Take on Me" holds up. It's a great song.

Collaborateur

I did some voice taping for two colleagues, and their dance-film Uprooted is in a bunch of small film festivals all over the place, so that's one kind of collaboration. But also, At is in this production, and this may be our first (and only) film collaboration.

Almost

I am worried for my friend
whose young sister has passed away
and tomorrow is coming

and my friend is coming back
and I'm venting to Big A about how
death doesn't make any sense.

And I'm sitting by his feet in a darkened room
in the middle of the morning, because he's trying
to sleep before he works the E.R. tonight.

And he's stroking my ankles, telling me
that "everybody dies, every body dies--you
know we're walking with ghosts."

My skin prickles surprise, I want to hear it
again until it turns out what he had said was--
"you know that's how it goes..."

Friday night crew

Bluey got her 10,000 mile checkup and got all cleaned up, I got a massage, and hung out with some girlfriends at SH's birthday bash, but I headed home early, because this is where my heart was.

While We Wait

The longer our Title IX people take to wrap up the case, the closer I am to feeling that things are going wrong, that people misbelieve me, he will be back on campus, and even more empowered now, and on and on.

I need to take a deep breath and focus on all that is lovely in life.

The Beauty

I am two years ten months old,

beloved first-born: am told my face 

is open as windows, my smiles gems

of happiness, when baby sister is born.

I remember being taken to visit

Amma and the wrinkly new baby 

too in the hospital, in the morning, right 

before I have to go to Mrs. Pinto's "school."

And I remember the chill of nerves

the clunky thump of suspense, feeling 

so sneaking clever when--patting her tenderly, 

I tell my parents: "Baby sister--Chelli Paapa--

is so, so beautiful; I don't want to go to school."

My ploy creeps on, it has lived many lives

it has floated past memory's borders, 

the recall slowly fading.

When I retell it now, on this whole other continent, 

my own kids chortle, roll their eyes, call me 

"playa." My face is a window, is a mirror, 

my face is a door that lets the lie in.

 But my parents have told this story for decades,
in a haze of earnestness, claimed 'blessings
--love or beauty or children, or the hazy
necessity of whatever comes next.  

dreamed a dream

Our moon is too long ago
is very nearly gone

did it fall like plump fruit
into the water? Will it rise?

I am still so afraid, my voice
tears pulled from the well

All "good morning" and "what
seems to be the matter."

Monday Face

 

Bright spot

At said when this picture came to family chat: "got reelected to YDSA and got on the Dean's List selfie."

I'm adding extra credit and top marks for some masterful pattern mixing and the clean toilet in the background.

Our first-born is adulting.

"Snow: Upholder of Patriarchy"

It's Women's March day today and students were supposed to head here for "linner" afterwards, but we had over seven inches of snow overnight and we canceled the linner event in a flurry of early morning texts. At, who was going to offer a ride to other students, was the one who quipped that snow was the biggest upholder of the patriarchy." That kid is golden.

Then suddenly the day was wide open, and I got a few procrastinated tasks off my list, and then T and T showed up for tea and a chat and EBS showed up with a a whole bunch of movie theater snacks for the next "Friday Film Fest" and a whole set of Tupperware because I'm "always sending people home with boxes of food." She had a present for Nu too, and that's the fourth of my friends this year who's given Nu a present alongside me. Love it!!

Big A works tonight, so Huck, Scout, Nu, and I are hunkered down in the rumpus room and plan to watch shows till we we're sleepy. It's not how I expected today to work but it was nice nevertheless.

Little Things

Grocery-store impulse buys are blooming in the tea garden and the hyacinths I secreted away randomly in pots all over the house last month are beginning to frill and flower now.

I'm a bit disappointed though. The last time I did this, it was their scent that alerted me--I'd smell hyacinths and snoop around until I found the blooms. This time around, they seem to be fragrance-free. And it's still lovely to find them and marvel at their easy beauty, but it reminds me a bit of that time when a sinus infection gave me anosmia.

"I like all cake, silly!"

It's been a tough week (we have no word on our Title IX thing and teaching every weekday is oddly draining although I'm still teaching just three classes). I'd been craving cake (openly--like over dinner and on family chat) and Big A, our resident baker, asked what kind I wanted--to which I responded "I like all cake, silly!"

Today I came home to this beauty--simultaneously hearty and delicate and filled with pistachios and raspberries.

You are my Sunshine

I looked for the sun all day today, because it's Pongal day. And I found some hazy sunshine on my way home, though it vanished before I actually got here.

But there were babies and Big A and things beginning to poke their heads out of the dirt to bloom, and I made pongal and pakora-curry for dinner so it was almost like being back in Tamil Nadu. (Not!)

Rare Sighting: Child in the Wild

Part of my resolution to go outside more with the kids.