the people we came to see...

The people we came to see, namely my mom and dad, look lovely and exactly the same...

Except they move so much more slowly now and take way more pills than they used to.

Pic: Amma and Dad at sunrise. (Pondycherry)

#LaterPost
 

travel is tiring...

...even if all you've done is gotten boarding passes, gone through security, and found your gate...

Pic: Nu and At flopped out two hours in, even before our first flight out of Detroit. 

#LaterPost

last day

I over watered my zillion plants hoping they'll be ok while I'm gone for the next two weeks at least, took a long two-hour walk by myself to say goodbye to all my favorite places for a while, took a long soak, finished all the pesky chores, submitted materials a week ahead of deadline for the course I got suckered into, helped At and Nu with their packing, made a hearty breakfast casserole that'll serve us tomorrow too, played with Huck and Max all day, and just said goodbye to the garden and the fireflies and Scout at his memorial...  

At is already here tonight, and it was so lovely to pop into both human kids' rooms to say goodnight.

Just a few more odds and ends to squeeze into my bags and I'm ready!

Pic: Max, Huck, and Big A. I'm going to miss these guys so much!

tick-tock

In some poses, Max looks so much like Scout that I wonder if I'll have trouble telling them apart in photos when my memory dims. 

But this pic won't be confusing. 

Scout hated to be picked up and Max loves being Nu's little baby, because of course he's ok with whatever Nu does with him--Nu is like a god in Max's world. 

Max got his second set of shots earlier this week and is all ready for the real world. He seems to love visitors already. He probably needs to be around other dogs, because he can't... bark! It's cute and funny how he makes all sorts of sounds from whale whistles to mousey squeaks... and his bark sounds so silly. Huck barks very rarely and isn't much help here. It'll be something to work on when we get back from India.

Speaking of which... our houseguests couldn't come this weekend. They caught something (non Covid at last check, but still contagious) and we're going to see my elderly parents... so we're replanning for next year. With all that suddenly free time because of their absence, I packed.

And our three check-in suitcases are ready; I managed to fit all the stuff my sis had delivered here and my own gifts for everyone (I went overboard with the niblings as usual) all sorted, listed, and packed away. It's just a matter of throwing some clothes, books, and my ziplock of products into my carryon at this point. 

Less than 48 hours to go. 

Pic: Nu, Max, and Big A hanging out while I make dinner.

Think pink

Barbie this evening with an intergenerational group including Nu.

It was a fun romp and definitely worth watching. Even for me (who didn't grow up with Barbies) or my kids (who didn't play with Barbie because I was worried second-wave-feminism style that it would inculcate unrealistic body expectations). 

The movie does a lot of work: the brief glimpses of what a less patriarchal world might look like made me a bit teary and there were lots of LOL moments for sure. Have to marvel at the delicate balance between its appeal to kids/adults, implications/recuperations  of Mattel, awareness/promotion of consumerism, feminism, femmephobia, and so on. 

Pic: Our group in pink.

Random (with emphases)

*      Always loved Sinead O' Connor for her voice and speaking up for all people. In the wake of her death, I'm realizing she was also all things socialist, feminist, Marxist, eco-socialist, anti-racist, pro-abortion, pro-trans, anti-colonial, pro-refugees, and pro-Palestine. What an immense loss to the world. Her use of the J. Krishnamurti quote "It is No Measure of Health to be Well Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society" randomly pops up in my head as a mantra.

*    Went to a 'celebration of life' for JS's husband who died two months ago. JS was so regal and wise and lovely, and it still broke my heart. But also, this is what I want for myself instead of a funeral. Poor Big A, he's really going to hate having to throw a party without me.

*     I was up all night talking to Big A about his job move and then panicking and  breaking out into hives--first arms, then legs, then my whole body. I had to Claritin and calamine myself to calm down.

*     I had four meetings this morning and then homework on that ACUE course. I must be smart about taking on summer responsibilities next year.

*    I rarely buy myself cut flowers in the summer when everything seems to be blooming outside, but DM brought me stalks of stargazer lilies on Saturday... nearly all the buds are open now, and OMG, it smells so wonderful.

Pic: DM's lilies in full bloom.

a double life

hours  come back to me 

meandering, nonchalant,

restless as a piece of jazz

wandering like a  poem

like cloudbursts turning

into leaves and flowers

 knowing the nearness 

of  dirt  worms weeds

Pic: Beal Garden pond, MSU.

"The News"

Five poems by my wonderful friend Jan are on hand-carved plaques at Beal Botanical Garden to celebrate the sesquicentennial.

"The News" 

The prairie dock rockets

toward the sun.

Its leaves are

as large as a page of the New

York Times. But though their

 business is boosting

circulation, their news is all

 about life.

Pic: "The News" by Jan Shoemaker at Beal Botanical Garden. Early morning trip with L. 

Oh, the places I've been...

StephLove and NGS were curious about the list of places on my bio, so here goes. Actually, that list is somewhat abbreviated and I had to add a couple more places for continuity. Also, I count places where my sister and parents live as a dual home as well, even if I only visit for a couple of weeks here and there. 

1. Madras (Tamil Nadu state), India: Birthplace. In the traditional way, Mom moved back to her parents' seven months into her pregnancy to have me. Dad visited us every weekend.
2. Cochin (Kerala state), India: When I was around three months old, mom and I moved (back) to where Dad worked.
3. Vizag/Vishakapatnam (Andhra Pradesh state), India:  We moved because of Dad's job. This is where my sister was born. We attended Timpany School.
4. Madras (Tamil Nadu state), India: We moved back to Madras where both sets of grandparents and our vast network of cousins and family lived. I went to Holy Angels Convent and Sacred Heart schools and graduated from Stella Maris College.
5. Kodaikanal (Tamil Nadu state), India: I taught at Kodaikanal Christian College for a year after graduating.
6. Columbia, S.C.: I went to the University of South Carolina on a terrific teaching assistantship, making more money than I had ever earned in my life up to that point.
7. Jerusalem, Israel:  University of J; Grad fellowship
8. Utrecht, The Netherlands:  University of U; Grad fellowship
9. Princeton, NJ:  Institute for Advanced Studies; Grad fellowship
10. Chennai (Tamil Nadu state), India: My birth city changed its name...
11. Columbia, S.C.: Back for a bit; At's born here.
12. Oxford, U.K.  Went to the University of Oxford for my doctorate on a scholarship that paid almost as much as my current salary. 
13. Delhi (National Capital Territory), India: Sis and parents moved to the capital city for a couple of years for sis's job.
14. Bangalore (Karnataka state), India: Sis and parents moved for sis's job. They're here now.
15. New York, NY and Springfield, NJ: Big A's residency at NYU; finally married Big A; Nu's born in NYC; started this blog.
16. Yellow Springs, OH: Big A's hometown, we moved there after his residency for his first job as an attending. 
17. Alma, MI: We moved for my job; adopted Scout and Huck
18. Lansing, MI:  Moved as Big A had a fellowship at U of Michigan and Lansing is halfway between Alma and Ann Arbor; adopted Max.

I really don't want to move anymore!

Pic: Puppy attack! Max first and Huckie right behind.

"it'll grow back"

I know that everyone in India will love my babies no matter what, but also... I want them to look nice on the visit. 

So I (very cautiously) broached the idea of a haircut with Nu, who hasn't been to a hair stylist in over two years. They'd cut their own hair a couple of times since then, but not recently. 

When I called the Aveda salon that Big A and Nu use to make an appointment, there was a lot of back and forth and then they asked me if Nu was "biologically male or female." Whereupon I gave them a piece of my mind and hung up. I could have handled that better. But it's fucking hair! Why should it matter?! 

Anyway, I checked in for this morning at the Supercuts nearby (it's the place I use) and off we went. 

I must say, Nu's choice of cut is a bit complicated--the laidback TikTok teen who models it in Nu's reference video has a rattail mullet and sides shaved in an undercut. When we got to the Supercuts, the stylist was an older South Asian woman in a hijab. NGL, I wondered if she'd balk at Nu's choice of cut. But she just cheerfully set to work. At the end of 30 minutes, Nu had precisely the haircut they wanted and I relievedly tipped a 150%. Haircut? More like hair cute! (Ok, I'll stop.)

Nu and I were to go to dinner with AK and AK, but the restaurant closed early (Sunday!) so we met at home to polish off the leftovers from yesterday's feast. I excused Nu from the table, but they chose to linger for hours. Do the AKs know what a huge compliment that is?!

Pic: Baker Woods with L early this morning. This deer was most interested in our chat. 

Note: Pre haircut we were joking about how it's only hair and it'll grow back... and wondering if a hair salon called "It'll Grow Back," would be popular.

trumpets!

Ok. So proud of myself today.

I got the chapter done this morning. Twenty days late, and Big A eyes glazed over when I summarized it on our walk yesterday, and the editor hasn't seen or approved it. But at this moment, I think it's a good first draft. 

And then in the afternoon, I single-handedly shopped, cooked, and (six hours later) served a fancy four-course Indian meal for the UU fundraiser. I think this is my fourth year of doing this "Evening in India" thing, so I have the menu, prep, and production down to an exact science. I like to pretend I'm running a restaurant--do other grown ups do this too? 😂 A couple of guests remarked that they were so happy to get in this year because they'd tried to bid on my offering for a couple of years but the bids went up so quickly. I said something self-deprecating, but I preened a little bit on the inside when I heard that. 

 Pic: Trumpet vine flowers to go with all the self-trumpeting.