chuffed + stuffed at Thanksgiving

I am so thankful for family, friends, and community this year. 

And I'm feeling like a Thanksgiving pro today. After years of hosting, I have a stable menu that pleases and serves everyone. Fifteen years ago, when I started hosting, I'd be in such a dither about what to make--now I know exactly what I'm making and how long it will take. 

In fact, around 11, I realized I was a bit ahead of schedule and that I should save some tasks for when people came around so they could feel like they'd helped with the meal too, so I hit pause. This means that I was able to sneak in a walk and a soak despite the busyness of the morning. Also, I was able to pull all of meal prep off with nary a cut or a burn. 

I didn't get enough pictures, what with orchestrating the ovens, trying to dissuade Nu from cheerfully and charmingly trying to cheat at every Thanksgiving game, and Max going bonkers with first Thanksgiving energy.

Pic: My place setting with the hand-turkey Nu and At made over a decade ago...

Post-Thanksgiving

FIL and step-MIL came to visit the day after Thanksgiving and rather than feed them T-day leftovers as I did last year, I made ramen (with really nice broth, loads of fresh veggies, and lots of add-in toppings: peanut sauce, kimchi, roast chicken, fried eggs).

At the end of the meal, step-MIL says, "thanks for dinner.. it was really simple and..." And she just trails off. Healthful? Flavorful? No. Nothing. I don't think she was trying to diss my food, it was more like she genuinely lost interest in completing that sentence.

This morning--being back in the kitchen reminded me--and I started to giggle about it and had to explain to the kids why. At says, "Yeah, I noticed that too." So we giggled some more.

And it's been our response of choice to everything..."It's really simple and..."

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T for Thanksgiving!

I like how our additional table (build a longer table is my guiding motto), turns our seating into a T for Thanksgiving!

(Although I want to call it Friendsgiving or Thanksloving or something else entirely to avoid celebrating colonial narrative... even as I acknowledge the aspect of gratitude... anyway...)

some noes

I would have been miserable as a lawyer. I had to do lawyer-like things today in my role as a CASA and also in my role as a Title IX advisor on campus, and while they were necessary things, I felt quite unhappy doing them. It reminded me a bit of what our realtor JS said. He used to be a cop and said he liked being a realtor because when he was a cop, 90% of his interactions with people were negative and as a realtor, it was the inverse. 

*

I had a good time at the thrift store (I found some great copies of some fairly recent books) but somehow managed to forget the one thing I actually went in there for... an old lampshade I plan to use as a collar for our Christmas tree.

*

Speaking of which, no--our tree isn't up. I took Thanksgiving down just this past weekend, and I like a little palate cleanser... all the better to savor Christmas decorations. (Also, the kids won't be here until mid December, which is when the tree will come up from the basement. Hallelujah.)

Pic: I kind of did decorate for Thanksgiving! (And didn't do *anything* for Halloween.)

Surprise Pizza!

We headed to Ohio this morning for Thanksgiving #2 with my lovely MIL. When we got there, we were a bit confused that all was calm and really relaxed with no signs or smells of cooking. Indeed, there were no signs of Thanksgiving at all. 

So we hung out and chatted and ordered pizza when it was time for dinner and all was well. I'm kind of glad my MIL didn't have to go to all the trouble of starting a big meal all by herself.

Pic: Max and Huck have always been suspicious of the robot vacuum, and it didn't help matters that it seems to be making off with Nu's ukulele here.

Some Thanksgiving Ubuntu

At the end of Thanksgiving dinner when everyone was saying what we were thankful for, I said I was so thankful for all the people we had around the table. This was true. We had a very full table. 

But the table was also full of a staggering amount of leftovers. I made 12 dishes not counting the pies (which I did not make) or the appetizers (which I did assemble/make)... and people loved the appetizers and the soup and then seemed to run out of steam for the meal itself. Even after people rallied and took leftovers home, there was still A LOT on the table. 

I'd really worked my butt off all day and I wanted people to enjoy it today instead of stockpiling leftovers forever, so I offered it on a local Facebook group. Then there were like 200 people blessing me (just for donating extras!?!) and quite a few takers. I had to take food to my grandbaby's family and drop At off anyway, so I loaded up the car and set off. And then At said they'd like to go with me to drop off food, so I got so much extra chatting time with my older lovey. (Jenny--see what I mean about my older one being a bit like yours?)  

At the end of the evening, as I dropped At off and headed home, I felt so satisfied: as though I was flying home, as though every traffic light in my way was green... I realized later that it could have just been because this was a day when the roads were empty... but it still felt pretty awesome.

It reminded me of my Ubuntu Canteen days.

Pic: A reasonably vague shot of the table when Big A and I got up to set up the dessert station.

Prep Mode

These guys kept me company while I got some Thanksgiving dinner prep done today. As At pointed out, this picture encapsulates them perfectly: Huck can barely contain herself and Scout is pretending stoicism.

It's going to be so strange doing a Thanksgiving with just us. We each picked a dish, and that gave us a more tightly edited menu, but it's not exactly spare. So far, my cranberry chutney turned out amazing (extra onion, apple, and fresh ginger... yum). No one actually asked for it, but what else am I going to goop over the roast root veggies which were my pick?!

Also keeping me company--EM's pistachio baklava. She had "extra" and brought me a whole plateful. I am so thankful.

And now... leftovers

Things I forgot (or was too tired) to say yesterday.

* There were no in-laws or international students yesterday, and I really missed the expansiveness they usually bring to the table.

* My awesome MIL was the one who told me that I should let people help with the meal if I wanted them to feel at home, and it's very good advice.

* Nu made the biscuits this year and they were terrific--I'd bungled them last year.

* A pinch of turmeric in the pumpkin gravy and regular gravy gave them some extra color and antioxidants. 

* Nu decided to go with a beige palette for dinner--just biscuits, mashed potatoes, stuffing, chicken, gravy. No cranberry sauce, pumpkin gravy, roasted root veggies, or lemon-dressed salad for my baby, apparently. I insist everyone eats their five colors every day, so occasional beige meals are ok. I guess?

* At was so late getting here although they'd promised to arrive early. I fumed for a while, but when I saw At getting out of the Uber (linked to the family credit card) over three hours after texting "OMW," my annoyance somehow melted. I raced towards the car yelling "pumpkin emergency! pumpkin emergency!" At was so bewildered! It was hilarious and it totally made up for everything. I mean... no one wins when you're mad at a kid, anyway.

* We watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special and a charming 2017 movie I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore (recommended, but has flashes of unsettling violence).

*Huck showed Max, whose first Thanksgiving this was, all the ropes on where to position themselves for the best treats and whipped cream licks. We missed Scout--who showed up on multiple So-Thankful-For sheets. We're going to miss Scout extra hard on Christmas because that puppy liked to go BONKERS on Christmas Day.

Pic: Colorful leftovers from yesterday's feast is what's for dinner today.  Pies, not one of which I made, are further down the counter. (And I didn't realize Big A and his computer are kind of photobombing a bit too.)

A Pattern of Tears

Perhaps we need to bring back rules about permissible dinner conversation again. On Monday, Big A made Nu and me cry with a story from the E.D. of a 10-month-old with a fractured liver (suspected parental abuse).

On Tuesday, I took over, getting people to read Ross Gay's A Small, Needful Fact  and Paul Nelson's An Elegy for Tahlequah's Calf.

We had a couple of days off for Thanksgiving with grandparents... but tonight, At finished the pattern off. As we settled around the table, he called this "the last dinner," horrifying me and reminding Nu that he would leave for college again in the morning.

Despite Thanksgiving, which was lovely, I think we're stuck doing family dinners wrong this week.

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last day feels

We had our last class today. We're on Thanksgiving break now, and when we come back, it'll be Finals Week. There's no way I can be missing my students already... But I kind of do. And for the second semester in a row, I forgot to take the customary end-of-semester group pics. So I really do want to get them back together again one last time to take that photo.

In my first class this morning, one kind student began to thank me for a "great" class... and before I could say thank you, everyone in the class was thanking me and then they clapped for me! That has NEVER happened to me in a classroom before! It felt so sweet and supportive in the moment, I wasn't even thinking about what actual evaluations or the stability of the work environment might look like.

Speaking of which, I'm reading Unsheltered--an older Barbara Kingsolver I found on my shelves--perhaps it's not the best time to read about someone who lost their tenured job and is anticipating living in an age of President Orange (the first time around), but that's where I am anyway. 

Now on to big decisions... Should I squeeze all our Thanksgiving guests around our existing table by adding an extra chair on each side, or should I use a card table to rig an extension? Does apple cider go well in a hot toddy? Do I have enough rosemary in my herb garden or do I need to buy some?

Pic: I think I got a picture of an Eastern Bluebird in the tree. In any case, there's a bird in a tree and it's decidedly blue. LB was so indulgent and patient waiting for me while I waited for the bird to settle.

Better late...

Woke up this morning happy from impending Thanksgiving, and plan to go through these two that I stashed away last month after work today (teaching day, so it's possible that I might just take a nap instead).

And I should probably stop picking these up, our menu is pretty much settled at this point.

(Except I'm changing the brown-butter pumpkin gravy--which only I love--into a brown-butter pumpkin soup with pepitas and sour cream that shall be everyone's first course. Baahhahhhaha.)

Update: I will not be able to get to the extra recipes and pictures today. But... those two meetings after classes paid off, as it sounds like my workplace bully will be asked to attend mediation with me. So that's one big thing to be thankful for today.






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in which I muse

My office, bright (but cluttered) is a good representation of today. 

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving... all the students who were going to come to class came; some no shows--but many of them sent me an email beforehand. I find these last weeks so fulfilling as students work the lessons and discussions of term into building their own research projects. 

There was no one in the English Bay after I was done with classes, and I got noisy moving furniture around in my conference corner, cleaning, tidying, decluttering and making sure my plants would have enough to drink over the break. 

Strange to think we'll be off for almost a whole week. 

And then suddenly term will be over. 

Just like that.

"O Christmas Tree"

I waited for At to come home to bring the tree up from the basement, because that has been an At and Nu thing for years now, and I'm not ready to face the reality that he doesn't live here. And At sweetly did bring up the tree last week when he was here for dinner. 

But our old tree wasn't working for me... or working really--many of the lights were out and it was small and tippy. So Nu--my hero today--set up this tall, skinny tree and helped me decorate it. 

It'll be such a surprise for Big A and At! We've left the personal ornaments out for people to put on themselves. And that may have to be a Christmas Eve thing. Maybe do this post-Thanksgiving in the years to come?

marking myself safe

It has been a tough week, but I'm still here. 

One of my besties sent me this meme to remind me that I don't have to be super nice to everyone else while I'm feeling terrible. (The small font at the bottom says, hilariously, "Hello 911? How are you?")

Big A is jokingly pretend-placing bets with the kids on whether I'll be hospitalized for exhaustion or a mental breakdown and whether it'll be by Thanksgiving or Christmas.

But I AM doing things for myself. For instance, I had meetings all day, but I made the time to make and attend a long overdue medical appointment. (My finger is still splinted and I guess the days of just expecting my body to heal over are over?)

Also, I went to book club although I didn't quite finish Niall Williams' This is Happiness. It's a delightful, charming, poetic novel set in Ireland (and I should love it for that anti-colonial attribute alone) but I guess I wasn't in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. What I did enjoy, however, was sitting with a glass of wine and my book club friends while they cursed up a storm and exchanged GOTV stories from the trenches. My multigenerational friendships with women (this book club is mostly in their seventies) are some of the greatest blessings in my life. 

Currently, I'm wondering if it's worth it to go to bed as the Saturday class is at 7 am our time. 

Pic: This picture reminds me of the time I was so tired as an undergrad, I tripped over a beanbag and then reflexively apologized to it. Good times.

Thanksgiving

 With my small but mighty crowd--we barely even have leftovers...

#CelebratingCommunityNotColonization

full

At stopped by for dinner (parathas) and to weigh in on next week's Thanksgiving Menu, when we hope to see him again.

His tummy is full; my heart is full.

Thanksgiving

Quiet, just us. But it turns out that there's so much to be thankful for. I read some of these entries and 

I weep from happiness and pride.

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time zones

another day rolls over 

into tomorrow

I wake, roll over in bed 

reach for my phone

                                            wondering if my mother 

                                             texted me in the night--

                                             it happens a lot as we're

                                             in different time zones 

                                             

then the screen flickers    

my brain reboots

and the past three months

come charging back

                                             and I... remember why 

                                             she doesn't text

                                             and why she can't call

                                             still most days 

I will catch myself 

"saving things" 

for our nightly chats 

although she died 

                                            nearly three months ago...

                                            but when I listen  

                                            to her old voicemails

                                            her voice starlit

gathering warmth and love

I wonder what if 

what if

what if

the past is just another kind 

of time zone

__________________

Pic: Nu's pic of me, Max, and Huck napping. I guess I'm happy when I'm asleep? I love how Max sticks his tongue out when he's happy. (The plates of half-eaten food everywhere are Nu's thing while they're home on Thanksgiving break.)

(Un) Break

Almost everyday that I didn't write here, I felt terrible, as though I was breaking a promise I had made to myself. Other days, I felt terrible anyway, because there was just so much to do that I couldn't spare the time to feel bad about not writing. And although some other deadlines were being met (dinners, grading, family time, job searches), things have felt wrong, off-center, subject to a constant tension resulting from getting things done *just* in the nick of time.

So today, another jab at the restart button.

I'm surprised it's just a week to Thanksgiving. But that's nothing like the shock I got the morning of Oct 28th when I discovered that it was Baby A's Halloween parade in two hours. Both kids had to manufacture their own Halloween costumes--so unlike the years when we decorated, hosted huge Halloween parties, and had costumes picked out a month in advance.  It's a good thing Baby A had her heart set on wearing a sheet to be a ghost (Shades of E.T., plus the book about Corduroy's Best Halloween Ever!) and Li'l A wanted to be Lemonhead Zombie--the fact that I know nothing about what that means is a good indication that the kid's about to be a teenager. (I'm getting old--when I tried to link to my favorite movie of all time, Google gave me a Katy Perry song? Sacrilege!) 

On to pictures! 

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The Face of Thanksgiving

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