(Work in) Progress

I was blown away when I saw this de-construction of progress, and am pinning this for myself and everyone I know. I hope I remember to refer to it when Nu feels he's backsliding or At feels he's stagnating or students feel overwhelmed.

[It fits perfectly with how I'm hating on civilization and our definitions of progress right now because I'm rereading Karen Joy Fowler's We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves.]

Big A is in town, so we did a "Books and Burritos" night, going to the bookstore and swinging by At's branch of Chipotle. It's At's Boss Day, so we'd planned it around surprising him... he was more like taken aback. Later he texted: "Sorry I looked bad and was so stressed." That very nearly broke my heart. Their NLRB election date is 8/25; we're all crossing fingers and holding our breath...

something else

I know I don't need this 
poem at the end of the day
go ahead, tell me, I'll listen

frown/yawn/warn at this 

sorry summary of the day 

go ahead, tell me, I'll listen

say I should forget all this 

as I look away... every day

go ahead, tell me, I'll listen

hush-shout me, for you have

a wounded song of your own

go ahead... tell me... I'll listen

Pic: Fiesta Monarca at Casa de Rosada. Nu and his friends are on sitting on the grass f a r a w a y from the dancers.

two puppies, some bunny, and a people's history

I can kinda see me wedged here between the end of the sofa, Scout's nose nuzzling me, Nu's butt, and (somehow) Huck's tail in my lap.

And I'm mostly awed by the bunny ear attachments to Nu's sweatshirt. Nu worked on them all this week, and in true punk fashion sourced everything from what we already had.

Earlier in the day we headed to my office and, on the commute, we listened to Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. Nu's first time. I think it's time.

an indoor herd

At visited, Big A is the pink blur on the Portal screen, the puppies and I are off camera...but we're ALL kind of in the rumpus room together? 

At and Nu are looking at a Junji Ito together while also watching RRR on the big screen, and we can see and hear Big A making himself dinner in Milwaukee and everyone is sharing news and lobbing jokes off each other. 

Busy and messy, yes. But life-affirming and comfortable and the best/only way I could get my herd together today. 

I enjoyed every minute of it.

A Warning

gnawing

annoying

day opens 

its jaws

like danger

it is considered natural here

to be golden in the moment 

then vanish and be replaced

for all you know is bravery

when you have no memory

of the sky

the hawk 

in the sky

where the

others went

Pic and notes: Koi at MSU Radiology Gardens. They're always so tiny because the bigger ones are snatched by hawks (and then replaced by staff). 

picnic cookies and cat cafés

I headed to RS's mom's memorial service today. I was there mainly to support RS, but it felt poignant learning that her mom remade her life in her 40s--getting a divorce, going back to school, and becoming a social worker. The grownup grandkids, now teachers themselves, remembered fondly how she would take them on picnics to the hill behind her apartment complex and they'd feast on homemade sandwiches and Milano cookies. Fittingly, there were Milano cookies at the outdoor reception later.

While I was gone all afternoon, Big A took Nu to the cat café where Nu played with all the cats he wanted to and had a great time. Big A and I are both allergic (and I'm mildly  ailurophobic) so poor Nu has to make do with visiting. I've been informed that when Nu is grownup, he will live with cats and rats and that we can take allergy meds when we want to visit. I think that's very fair.

Pic: Nu making a cat friend (and Big A's reflection).

 

Make some noise (rattles, anklets, and whistles! O my)

More of Nu's kandi-craft... These little (they fit in the palm of my hand) star-shaped rattles make such a happy sound. The beads inside the rattle are heart-shaped. They're not visible, but it's very important to Nu that there are tiny hearts inside.

It reminded me a bit of the anklet in Silapadikaram The Story of an Anklet  and I was gratified that Nu remembered the plot-point about how there were rubies inside the heroine's anklet and only pearls in the queen's.  

We picked up Big A from the train station yesterday--horrifyingly for me and Nu who tend to be very diligent about masking--he hadn't worn a mask on the Amtrak, so we made him test at home. Also, WTH. I mean he seemed suitably chastened, but I thought we were on the same page about this.

And I got my Bluey car back! A couple I met on a shuttle in an airport parking lot a while ago told me about "Save A Deer" whistles, so I'm putting some on this weekend. Please stay away from me on the highway, deer!

Twitter Official Today!

💗 At and his coworkers. 
 

starting over

Once in a while, I'll come across a piece of art--even something Nu has decided to throw away like this piece...

And I'll be overcome with hope for Nu, all of us, the world...

And I begin to dream again.

"a more perfect union"

Today At watched as the local Teamsters served management at his workplace papers indicating that At and his fellow workers had signed union cards; the National Labor Review Board will now conduct an election. He sent us a picture and said management was "pissed." 

It has been exciting to see the slow build to At's organizing--first it was just conversations with a fellow nerd, then more scripted check-ins with other colleagues, vetting different unions, trying to get a super majority of his colleagues on board--even roping me in to talk to an older south-asian colleague in our shared mother tongue.

When he first said he wanted to unionize his fast food place, I have to admit I thought it was a bit of a pipe dream and definitely did not think he and the other young people would make this much progress in under a year. Shows how much I don't know. Fingers crossed for their NLRB election. 

Pic: At made this button a while ago; now that things are public, he can finally wear it. 

reaching the threshold

it was always difficult for children

dangerous even 

if you know of a place where it isn't

please share it 

we may sway in decision, hover in hope,

curve like prayer,

ache to follow rumors as if they're friends

inviting us to hurry

but we won't know how--or if--we let go

of mourning

our feet full of splinters, tracing love over

fragments of safety

_____

It's the fourth of July. We didn't have plans because we were supposed to be in YS. Also: things don't feel very celebratory anyway--it feels very What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?  This lines up with the memes that say: "Fourth of July has been canceled due to a shortage of independence" or "Frankly I don't think America deserves a birthday party this year." And then the news worsens with reports of mass shootings in Highland Park and Philadelphia and fires in Fort Worth...

mellow

In Yellow Springs, OH for Big A's high school reunion. I casually thought it was the 20th... but no it's the 30th!

Since we lived in YS (2008-2012), some are my friends too. But as the outsider, I was surprised by how much people remembered from 30 years ago. Everyone remembers Big A's infamous exploits (he'd have gotten juvie for his Ex-Lax cookies for sure these days!). But people were also saying to each other how kind people had been, how someone was the big sibling they didn't have at home, how they'd been made welcome although they were new in town. 

It was definitely a taste of the old YS--all the once high-schoolers in this picture from progressive, hippie, biracial, LGBTQ families or living near families who were--growing up in an environment like that must have been so formative for them. What it must have been like to take all of that for granted... 30 years ago. The person who went into the army right after high school said how he was asked if "gays should be in the military" and that he'd responded "gay people have always been in the military, maybe you didn't know it." These people must have pushed change in the world outside of their bubble.

Also: we've been having a bit of a tough time at home because of some teen behaviors/choices/consequences--this was a good reminder that high school isn't forever, and hopefully, we will just remember the mellow highlights in a few years.

normal...

Nu is completing all the school assignments he missed when he was sick, and JG very kindly consented to be interviewed for the "life in the 1980's" segment. 

We'd had a gnarly start to the day where I suspected I'd have to take Nu to the E.R.; so I was particularly glad with how fun and normal the rest of the day actually turned out--first a long visit from JG and then winding down with the new season of Umbrella Academy after dinner.

Plus I updated details of vacation week as #LaterPosts!

We're Back!

Relaxed, grateful, dusty, tired, frizzy, checked out, appreciative, super-tan, and worldly. Feeling all those things on this first night back from our week in Spain. 

It was exactly half the family (Nu, Big A, me) on the trip, while At stayed home with Scout and Huck. We (OBVIOUSLY!) invited At too, but he was kind of busy with organizing. We joked that At is afraid of being seen as the Bougie (not Boogey) Man. 

Feels so good to have Scout and Huckie curled on my feet, Big A on the other sofa, and the human kids in their beds upstairs...

Tomorrow I will work on Nu's educational, health, and therapy care, drop At back to his apartment, get ready for Big A to start his new job in WI come July, and catch up with ALL the work stuff I put aside for a week. 

But... right now feels... so good. 

(I'll update the past week from my travel journal as #LaterPosts when I get a chance.)

tiny celebrations

Loved this Louise Erdrich quote; I needed a reminder of sweetness and hope today. Life can be sweet even if it isn't so every minute. My reminders for today, yesterday, and tomorrow:

At UU today I learned that Opal Lee "the grandmother of Juneteenth" was 89 years old when she started the campaign to make Juneteenth (today!) a national holiday.

Last night when I called my dad to wish him for father's day, we talked for longer than usual, because he could hear me better than he has lately. That felt so lovely.

Big A will be back tomorrow, and we'll celebrate his Father's Day the day after that.

"all for freedom and for pleasure/nothing ever lasts forever"

I sang so much Tears For Fears as a kid--I got hooked on "Everybody wants to Rule the World" like everyone else and then got pretty lost in the deep tracks of their discography.

So when KB invited me to go see them in concert, I said yes. It was wonderful! I got to sing along to all my favorites, and Garbage whose song "Stupid Girl" I was near addicted to, once upon a time, opened. 

What I couldn't shake was the surreal sense of time and age--all around me I could see people like myself and I could see us all as kids when the songs first came out. We still loved the same songs, but were different people with different lives all these decades later. Curt Smith looks like an older version of the boy in the video, but Roland Orzabal (whose name I had to look up because he was the one I didn't have a crush on) looks like a completely different person. 

"it ain't over till it's over"

The end of the night came in the early hours of this morning. We were so tired and sweaty from so much time on the dance floor in the LA heat. The playlist was both Indian and Mexican (like my cousin the bride) and very... energetic.

Memories of our silliness and shenanigans are making me smile on this very long flight back to Michigan where I will resume my very responsible parental persona on arrival.

Pic: Photo booth with my baby cousins

 

fuzzy

So much talking: a mix of nostalgia, memories, and future plans. 

(This included an all family summit on how do we solve a problem like the Nu. In my book, there is no problem, but I know this came from a place of love, so I listened and made the right noises.)

My memory of this day is as fuzzy as this pic, but I remember feeling so loved.

#LaterPost

Sari: this is special

An early pic from the Henna and Sangeet part of the wedding before we got our henna done and before the rehearsed and unrehearsed singing and dancing got underway. 

I managed my sari ok. Nicole, you asked--and it really is six yards of fabric wrapped, pleated, tucked into a petticoat, and held together by safety pins. I did make the rookie mistake of not putting my shoes on first, so my sari (I'm in the center by the pillar) is not 'floor level' unlike the other saris in the picture. 

My favoritest part of this is how my favoritest aunt is just holding my hand so close because we've missed each other so much these last couple of years and it felt so good to be reunited.

#LaterPost

cherry picking

I mean Nu is literally picking cherries here 🤗. Between the squirrels and the rain, we didn't get any cherries last year, so Nu decided he'd get in there even as our cherries are just beginning to turn pinkish. 

And... Nu got offered the job he interviewed for at the mall yesterday! He says he was interviewed by two "older ladies" (this was defined for me as "20s or 30s" LOLOLOL) with "great energy." He'll start in July. He's so chuffed that he landed his first job interview ever. 

In other child-related news, in an unexpected development, I'm experiencing a sense of calm post At's car accident now that he's taking the bus everywhere. I didn't realize before how much his driving and his driving while brown status weighed on me. 

I'm about 70% packed for my trip to LA tomorrow. I'm gone for just two nights and Big A is fully capable (and better equipped by training) to take care of convalescing Nu, give Scout his meds, etc. but it still feels weird to leave. I'm ostensibly headed to my cousin's wedding--earlier than planned since the date has been changed due to a cancer diagnosis in the family. That sadness--and the superficial stress of making sure I remember the zillion things I need for my saris--are on my mind. I suspect my cousins and I will revert to being our silly childhood selves when we actually see each other.