And a good day to revisit the wonder of how the world has only two words for tea: Tea if by Sea, Cha if by Land.
Back home in Michigan, the morels are up. I want to tell Summer to hold back until I get back.
Feeling a bit lighter as we're are halfway through our trip and the countdown to home is ON.
And when I called my mom for Mother's Day, I heard India and Pak have a ceasefire! I'm so relieved!!
I'm a bit of a ninny when it comes to navigating my way on the Tube and around London. I'm so thankful for the students who have the knack for it and help seamlessly.
But today was one of our days to head to Oxford, and I know my way around that city SO well. We had our lecture in a seminar room at Pitt Rivers Museum, which a student aptly called "hodgepodge museum." I mean there are cases generically titled "the human form in art" stuffed with artifacts from disparate eras and areas. Our lecture was with the wonderful Will Allen who gave us the nugget that is today's post title. When advising people on immigration data, he said he always tries to give them a story to take away.
I had to do a fair amount of in loco parentis-ing today and hope it was helpful. Later, I snoozed off on the bus to students good-naturedly arguing about video games and then dreamt about them. In my dream they were racing each other down the sidewalk and laughing hard and my father watching them from the other side of the street with me, asked me in the indulgent, tender way he has if these were my kids. I guess they are.
Pic: Our class on the steps of the Sheldonian Theater. It is the center of Oxford (and where my diploma ceremony took place!) but the building is important to our class for another reason. It is where Chimamanda Adichie's deservedly viral talk The Danger of a Single Story was recorded.
I continue.
The pain isn't as crushing as it was, but it persists.
Most days, the hashtag #ScoutDay makes it to my posts because it was day that I missed him.
Yesterday, I left trivia night in tears--not because we came in second (ha), but because the bar kept flashing a picture of a puppy who looked so much like Scout on their screen.
Scout started popping up in our conversations and dreams even more than usual earlier this month--even before I made the calendar connection. I was amazed how our souls seemed to know this anniversary was coming up even before our minds figured it out.
Scout was certainly my once-in-a-lifetime "soul puppy." I'm so lucky to have had ten years with him... I wish every day it could have been longer.
He was the boy with the blaze.
I'm glad we got that final picture with the cherry blossoms.
I wish I could find a home for this poem about him.
I love this early picture of him.
I'm glad he had a the best last day we could give him.
Goodbye my sweet Scout Akshaya.
Pic: Scout and me on a Christmas trip to Ohio. He was always up for a selfie... or anything, as long as we were together.
Lisa and I walked to Daffodil Hill, through a bit of Baker Woods, the Children's Garden, and the Horticultural Gardens and met up with Jeanie at The Broad Art Museum... which was inconveniently closed today. We meandered through Beal Gardens and the Riverwalk back to dinner.
I thought I'd leave Lisa and Jeanie alone to get some one-on-one time (they've known each other for over fifteen years!) to sprint ahead and get dinner started. But when I picked up the mail and turned the corner into the driveway, I saw them sitting on the porch!
Meeting friends you've made online is such an affirming experience--there's such a wealth of already shared experience and so much to talk about. We had a lively dinner with the family--talking about books and movies and what we haven't read, Max and Huck eating sorbet off a spoon under the table. Goodbye came too soon.
Afterwards, At wanted to go see Sinners, so the fam headed to the movies. I closed my eyes through some of the more gory parts and may have accidentally (and characteristically) fallen asleep. The music and score were tremendous. (I love Ryan Coogler's work in Black Panther. We actually bought Fruitvale Station, but I haven't yet been able to steel myself to actually watch it.)
Pic: Jeanie, Lisa, me (and behind us Zaha Hadid's amazing construction for The Broad).
People have probably been at protests and marches today, but it was commencement today at school, so that's where I was.
I'm so inordinately proud of my students. Even if someone has had just the one class with me, I'm so happy for them and excited to see them robed, getting their diploma. We have a gauntlet at the end of the ceremony (we have a gauntlet that bookends their opening convocation too) where we clap the students out to the sound of our homegrown bagpipers and it's one of my favorite traditions. It's a good thing we're a small school, because I'll clap earnestly for every student going on stage whether I know them or not.
Pic: A colleague took this pic and said I looked "stupid happy." "Are you happy someone is leaving?" they quipped. Actually, I'm sad I won't see some amazing students as they head off into the world. And I'm thankful for the kind cards some of them gave me. I'll treasure all of it forever.
Post title from that Jeb Bush moment. Remember when that was funny? Also: One of my secret superpowers is that I'm good at getting applause going in a crowd. That first person who starts clapping? That's sometimes me.
I'm comfortably numb and really grateful for anesthesia.
Yesterday's freakout reminded me of when I went to have my wisdom teeth removed twenty years ago. The new and very kind dentist went over the procedure and the probably standard spiel of complications like nerve damage, bruising, etc... I started crying. I still have all my wisdom teeth. I still wonder if I traumatized that young dentist.
If I'm navel-gazing, I think it's not so much the needles and pain I'm afraid of (although that too) as much as all the talk of what could go wrong, because I will imagine every detail and I will imagine it happening.
Anyway, I plan to be on campus tomorrow, so time to prep or rest or read... Grateful for pep talks from the fam and friends today. Grateful for fam and friends.
Pic: Forsythia in full bloom on the banks of the Red Cedar.
I came across the idea of "brain laundry" where you sort your light and dark thoughts. Here are some topics from today sorted by ":)" and ":/".
1. Conferences:
:) Successfully submitted two proposals--one by myself + one with E.M. And I started work on a chapter proposal which isn't due until May.
:/ Both conference proposals are fairly slapdash. Also, I wanted to submit one with Big A to jumpstart our stalled writing project, but we just didn't get around to it.
2. Surgery
:) I'm supposed to get surgery tomorrow to get a cyst taken care of. Finally! I've been putting it off for a very long time. It's a minor procedure under local anesthesia and I've been promised Taco Bell. Yay.
:/ When the nurse went through post-surgery wound care, I got majorly freaked out. I called Big A and he talked me down, but I might still bail tomorrow.
3. Charity
:) I'm lucky that my family is so supportive of giving in general and fairly mindful of my rules like not spending because we're saving to give to X, etc. Then there are unbudgeted things like GoFundMes and grocery add ons. A good percentage of the weekly grocery run is things I sock away for free pantries and people asking for stuff. Big A's family was on food stamps when his divorced mom was putting herself through school for teacher education, so he never begrudges the extra expense...
:/ But, he does NOT like it when I deliver stuff, because he's convinced it's dangerous. Although sometimes like today there is no alternative (someone needed a birthday cake for their kid and did not have a car). He likes to tell me I'm going to get trapped in a basement... because he knows how much that terrifies me. This led to a fight.
4. (Pic:) Gardening::) The box of perennials I brought home from the plant sale this Saturday on the floor of the tea garden. Bleeding Hearts, Gauras, Hellebores, and Geraniums. I'm going to plant them inside for a few weeks until it's frost-safe outside.
:/ I feel so bad when I catch myself wishing the Poinsettias, which have cheerfully been going strong since before Christmas, would die. Poor things--I should just move them somewhere where I don't have to see them all the time.
I hurried through my morning chores so L and I could head to the hands-off protest around 11.
I haven't been singing with the women's choir I got into two years ago regularly, but today, I stood on the steps of the capitol with Sistrum and sang call-and-response songs to start up the crowd. There were some fiery speakers. I particularly liked that Rep. Dylan Wegela shouted out the DSA and suggested that anyone not representing the people (no matter what their political affiliation) should be voted out.
And what a great turnout for the "hands off" protests all across the U.S. today. On social media, I'm seeing videos of rallies that are miles long and and thousands of people strong.
I'm also hearing that while the protests were shown on the tv in other countries, mainstream media in the US hasn't been covering it. (I don't have cable and don't know for sure.)
I'd heard of the #SitYourBlackAssDown signal from Black leaders ahead of today as a way of protecting Black people from police violence as well as a "your turn" gesture to the rest of the population. And post-protest, Black leaders have correctly pointed out 1) the absence of black people at the protests has meant absence of police in helmets and anarchists inciting violence 2) how in the long laundry list of all matters that need protection from this administration, Black Lives are seldom mentioned although Trump's interactions are always adversarial and his initiatives always antagonistic towards Black people. I cannot unsee that now--posters at the protest supported everyone from immigrants and trans people to veterans and teachers, but I did not see any posters about racial injustice. We need to do better.
Still and all, it felt good to be at the rally today, and made me feel like I was actively engaging with the democratic process. And it was great to be there with comrades like L and RS, AH, SD, and so many others. Standing on the steps of the capitol and seeing the thousands of people amassed there, I, along with many of the singers around me, teared up. It was powerful and humbling.
Pic: A portion of the crowd at the protest today. My eyes kept going to the "if your voice held no power they would not be trying to censor it" sign.
It's At's Boss Day. And as a lovely surprise present to me, she called to say she was coming over for a visit! (At has recently started working with UNTF on the MSU campus and happened to be nearby today.) I can't stay for dinner, she warned, but I warmed up some chocolate chip muffins and I was making a lox sandwich for Nu, so At had one too and then both Nu and At had another, and some cheese straws while I was making the second sandwich, so that, basically, became their dinner.
At and I had gone thrifting a couple of weeks back and after we found and paid for some amazing things (a blue suede jumpsuit, a floral velvet dress) At bought some rings that were kind of ugly. So I thought I'd let At choose from some of my decidedly nicer rings as a treat today.
Nu came upstairs with us too. Not because Nu wanted any rings, but just to assure themselves that if they wanted any rings, I would give them some too. It makes me chuckle to think how in some ways, they're still the jealous little Baby Nu who would grab my face to turn it towards themselves and tell me sternly that I was "not allowed to look at other kids."
Pic: This is a jumble, but it was an unexpected joy today to have my kids--Max and Huck are in there too--all crowded into my closet, being raucous, silly, and jokey. At was the only one with a phone in there and took this photo. It was a tight squeeze in there for so many, and there were many tight squeezy hugs before At headed back.
I've been skulking around campus like an obnoxious person of mystery in sunglasses because I scratched my cornea two days ago (while helping myself to a tissue!!). And because it hurts, I've been heading home early and missed the faculty bake-off yesterday and the reception to celebrate LV's tenure today... Boo.
But I love this part of the semester because students are working on their research projects and I love seeing how fired up they're getting and all the ideas and connections that are taking off. Who knows where that will go. A paper on Baldwin's Sonny's Blues from last year's critical theory class just won first place in Sigma Tau Delta's (the English honorary society's) international convention that concluded in Pittsburgh last week and the society's journal editor asked the student if they could publish it!
Pic: At the WGS Symposium with one of my student's projects about rehabilitating body dysmorphia in dancers. Their point is that as dancers they always stare at themselves critically in the studio mirror so they wanted to use the mirror as a canvas to enable dancers to write empowering complimentary words for themselves and others.
And on compliments: A couple of weeks ago, when I gave the talk about the Trump administration's rhetoric, a student told me their friend who'd come to the talk with them said I was pretty and had terrific hair--I got so self-conscious, that instead of saying thank you and moving on, I blathered on about but did they like my talk. The next day, Lisa said something nice about my hair as well, and that weekend I reacted awkwardly when something similar happened. L's advice: "A simple thank you will suffice."
Many friends were going to be there and I saw RS, AH, SD, etc. I went with L and CD; L drove. But the thing ran long, and I got a bit antsy about spending a second hour indoors in an outrage echo-chamber... so I walked home. Still debating if that was an ok thing to do. But I have deadlines! I had to make dinner! I was missing weekend time with the fam!
I heard of a lovely rally in Detroit where Michiganders--and and across the river Canadians--protested the awfulness that's overtaking us.
One of the big reasons Nu wanted to come with me to work was because there was a drag show in town.
One of the cute things that happened when we went to Admitted-Students' Day last week, was that we bumped into Nu's kindergarten bestie KM. Nu and KM might share a floor as college first-years! Anyway, Nu and KM made plans to hang out at the drag show this evening, and I even got to take them to the bookstore for soup and a sandwich before the show.
Nu liked being in class this morning where one of the things we talked about was why drag freaks powerful people out so much. (Ans. Because it transgresses what society tells us is possible. If we start imagining other possibilities, where will we stop? What if we imagine our way to better healthcare or out of tyranny?)
Anyway, the show was brilliant. And the student organization that organized the show and generously invited us was also absolutely brilliant. The queens are an ensemble out of Detroit, but the DJ is a (Fulbright short-listed) student and it was fun to see them behind a computer as I would in class, just doing very different stuff. The students seemed to have thought of EVERYTHING--on our table were sparkly beads, fun mocktails with umbrellas and crazy straws, zany club glasses, and EVEN cash for us to give to the dancers!
At the end of the night, one of the queens--Jewel Jubilee--said how it was a tough time to be visibly queer in this country, but that as she looked across the young faces in the room she felt strong and that by standing up for each other, we'll all make it through. That's the only time I cried yesterday.
Pic: Two shots of brilliance.
Pic: My mom and sister sent me a photo of themselves playing holi with friends yesterday! It gave me joy just to look at it and made me me want to schedule a Holi date for later this month when things calm down a bit. I love how holi anonymizes everyone... you can barely tell who's who and can't tell their gender/age/class/color.
And her "menstrual products petting zoo" is always a big hit. Reusable period products like cups, discs, and period underpants are usually in clamshell packaging in stores. Her "petting zoo" lets people get a feel of the products.
Her anecdote about having a booth at a true crime convention and noticing all the people dressed up as serial killers skirting the period supplies booth is hilarious. I will say menstruation holds little stigma for our current crop of young people. I love that they'll just dig around in their backpacks for a tampon in the middle of class and leave holding it openly.
The big tip Lysne gave us about affecting change is to decide what change we want to see and then listen to many perspectives on how to affect that change. "Take your ego out of it." Sounds like good but tough advice.
Pic: Lysne with my class. I love the sassy picture of Lysne we have up on the screen as well!
That I'd find, pick up, and LOVE a romance called Red, White and Royal Blue. It's a pre-pandemic publication in an alternative universe and a very different D.C.; the repartee is wicked and the politics are comfortingly woke. (Yes, I'm reclaiming "woke".)
That Nu would have so much fun hearing my old Oxford escapades and early teaching milestones. "Tell me more" is not something Nu says to me very often! I think their favorite story was about D who came out to me and asked if they could come out in class because it felt like a safe place and they wanted to hear themselves speak their truth out loud. (This happened nearly a decade ago, but D was on my mind because they reached out to wish me for my birthday last week.)
Pic: A proper afternoon tea at The Orangery in Kensington Palace. Our day of indulgence! And a good day to revisit the wonder of how the wor...
