I can start again tomorrow
despite how much I don't
like becoming divided
despite how much
I... shouldn't be
despite how much I don't
like becoming divided
despite how much
I... shouldn't be
find me there
there's no reason for sorrow
in a day still so young
when old letters catch
me time traveling... I
wonder who holds
your empty hand
_____________________
Pic: Max and Huck fresh from the groomer, watching me fetch myself a cup of tea to drink in the tea garden, which is very jungly at this point. ALSO!! I didn't mean to imply the fam neglected my plants while I was gone. The zillion plants and watering them are my thing. I've never asked Big A or the kids to do it because it takes at least two hours (a week) and that's a lot. If I make the pots a bit swampy before I leave, they can usually wait two weeks. As you can see, the begonias, geraniums, and jasmines (heroes all!) are blooming.
18 comments:
I can only see one pup!
Love the poem, Maya!
I loved this part especially “I wonder who holds your empty hand”. Just to make your lovely poem all about me, when I was a very young girl (maybe 3?), I had my Smokey Bear that I adored, and I lost him. My grandpa saw me walking around with my hand clutched, like I was holding something. He asked me what I was holding, and I said it was Smokey. He ran out and bought me another one, and said that he found him at the hospital, which is why he looked good as new. I never suspected it wasn’t my same Smokey. I guess I haven’t changed that much. When we lost Mulder (two years ago May 19th, sob) I would sometimes pet my leg and pretend it was him.
I see your smaller puppy peeking out from behind the closer one. I’m not sure which is which, but they both look great.
This line captures how I try to get by day by day: "I can start again tomorrow
despite how much I don't like becoming divided." It's what we do.
Your tea garden is enchanting!
Nice.
I love it, Maya! And I love the "jungly" tea garden. I can see now why you didn't ask anyone to water the plants while you were away- that is a big time commitment! Glad they all survived your absence.
Thank you, Nicole! (Max is sitting down, so what looks like his back is actually Huck's face--look for her eyes where you think Max's butt is...)
J, Do you remember this story, or did you build this memory from loved ones lovingly telling you how it happened? Either way, what a precious memory. I can't get the image of dimpled hands clutching an absent bear <3
And you know that Mulder petting got me in my feels...
Isn't that life, Jeanie...
Glad it spoke to you though... and thank you!
Thanks!
Thank you, Jenny!! Perhaps I *should* test people by asking them to do it....
I love the "who holds your empty hand" line, too!
Your tea garden is so gorgeous!!
When we travel and leave Noah alone in the house, I always make him a to-do list that starts "Priority #1: Don't let the cats die. Priority #2: Don't let the garden die," but we don't have nearly as many plants.
That’s a story I was told, I don’t remember it. I have a false memory of being with my Grandpa at the hospital and seeing them wheel Smokey out in a wheelchair, which never happened.
Smokey in a wheelchair is now part of my brain too. WOW! Isn't it amazing what we think up?!
Thank you, Lisa. Now I'm thinking about Paul holding your hand gently. I hope you are feeling fully healed!
Ha. That sounds like a simple list, but it contains a multitude of duties!
This is a beautiful poem. The second stanza is cozy and musing, despite the plaintiveness of the imagery. I can just see someone nestled in cushions, reading old letters, thinking about someone(s) they left behind or knew before.
Thank you, Nance. Yes--I too saw it as indulging in nostalgia rather than painful...
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