I've heard that depression is worrying about the past, anxiety is worrying about the future, and happiness is living in the moment. 2/3 isn't so bad, right?
I think I have anxiety and moments of happiness/joy. I feel fairly done with the past. And also really lucky to have escaped without major trauma given how naive and gullible I used to be. Big A and my sister, who know all the stuff I used to get up to, marvel at this all the time.
I think I get by because I am blessed in my family and friends--I couldn't wait till Friday's book club meeting to see L so I swung by for a chat and hugs (and also got roses because she'd been at the supermarket and they were on sale). Later, LV was in town to run errands and stayed for dinner and we dug out the tiny bottle of prosecco chilling in the fridge to celebrate his tenure. (It was perfect because Big A was working that night and couldn't drink, so LV and I could polish it off ourselves.)
Now it's 2:25 a.m.: Big A is at work; I'm wide awake. It could be worse, it could be 4:00 a.m., he could be home and we could be goofing off. Big A can sleep during the day to even things out, but I won't because my work happens during the day.
At told me the other day that I'm going to get dementia if I don't get enough sleep.
I worry about that.
But then sometimes I think I'm channeling the spirit of my great-grandfather who, according to my mother, would wake in the middle of the night to light an oil lamp and write poems about Hanuman, the god he was passionately devoted to.
I'm not as religious, but I write? Right?
Pic: Our Christmas tree in the light. Oof, we really are running out of space.
14 comments:
You and your great-grandfather!
My dear friend, I adore you but I do think that At is right in that you do need more sleep. Sleep will help with the anxiety. I know it's a vicious circle in that you can't sleep when you're anxious and then your anxiety is worse because of lack of sleep, but still. I have no solutions (although I wish I was there for the prosecco!)
Tree is nice
Maybe you need a bigger tree!
The sad truth is- not getting enough sleep really is bad for your health. I'm truly going to focus on sleep for 2025 (I'm not just saying that this time.) But- you could be one of the few people who actually doesn't need as much sleep. Maybe it's genetic, passed down from your great-grandfather.
I just read an article about sleep and dementia/Alzheimer's. Do try to get more sleep, friend. Even just resting can be helpful.
Thank goodness you write. xo
Alcohol can interfere with sleep, which I know is a bummer of a thing to say, but it's true. It makes you sleepy initially but makes it hard to sleep later in the night.
I have fairly high sleep needs and probably sleep more than the average adult if you include my weekend naps. I wish I could operate on less sleep but I just can't. But I hope you find a way to sleep better because it is so important for our health!
Noted, Nicole...
Oh, how I'd love to sit around a fire and open up a bottle of Prosecco with you!!!!
Thank you!
Not getting any more ornaments!
Jenny--do share what you'll be doing to sleep better in 2025, I want to work on that too.
Noted, Nance. And thank you :)!
Steph, I've noticed that when I drink, I sleep long hours but don't feel like myself when I wake. Alcohol is quite infrequent in my life, anyway. (Also, the prosecco happened Tuesday night not Wednesday night.)
Noted, Lisa. I too believe in the healing powers of sleep, actually. And I'm a champion napper! I love napping on trains, planes, buses, cars especially...
My sleep hygiene has really improved since I started instituting really strict sleep times. I go to bed (lights out) no later than 10:30 and get up no later than 7am. This has been remarkable and it honestly does throw off my entire world for multiple days if I have to go to bed later or something like that. Also, with the way my life is *waves hands about* I am physically EXHAUSTED when I get into bed, so I just pass out. I think if I had troubling falling or staying asleep, I would just read all night long. That's maybe a me problem, rather than a you problem.
I'm getting nothing here :)! My wake up time is 5:30/6:00. I should be physically exhausted, but I can't fall asleep and do either read all night long (or talk to A if he's around). I've got all your problems and none of your fixes...
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