Friday, August 09, 2024

you probably shouldn't read this

you probably shouldn't read this     I've said it all before        I get through another day          it piles up and becomes a life         what can be said       you've seen it all yourself       another school was bombed today in Gaza         Al Tabin School        I watched it in words         but there are pictures if you want it          can you bear to see another photo of dead siblings huddled together under the rubble       who picks up the bodies and the pieces of bodies      the guts       the hearts     the ashes    white phosphorus buries itself into the body and burns all the way down to the bone like a firework        it is sick         I am sick          there's a great sickness in this            there's a sickness in doing this       and a sickness in a world that allows this to happen         we know this is happening       how have we not shut this shit down          I fall on the same rock         I beat against the same rock             massacre       genocide       holocaust        the words are not enough          and also the words are so old and immense             they sound a bit like I might be misusing them                    like I might be exaggerating a bit               I'm not                     I feel self-conscious for saying the same thing over and over           186,000 dead after living through this over and over and over     I feel I might go mad       I go mad      I feel myself going mad      I keep saying words that have no power           they have no power   they move no one             they have no power   nothing happens after I say them           they have no power   they cannot answer the blinded child asking "why do they do this to us"        I am an adult in this world this child lives in        I bear responsibility      I am American and my taxes pay for those bombs       I bear responsibility         they will never forgive us for reminding them they are human

___________________________

The wonderful June Jordan said all of this and so this beautifully back in 1982 in an unpublished letter: "I claim responsibility for the Israeli crimes against humanity because I am an American and American monies made these atrocities possible. I claim responsibility for Sabra and Shatilah [sic] because, clearly, I have not done enough to halt heinous episodes of holocaust and genocide around the globe. I accept this responsibility and I work for the day when I may help to save any one other life, in fact." The whole article in the LA Review of Books about Audre Lorde, Adrienne Rich, June Jordan, and Palestine is awesome.  

8 comments:

StephLove said...


It is terrible.

Is this harder for you than say, the war in Ukraine, because in Ukraine we are supporting the underdog? Or would you rather we not arm any people on any side of any war?

Nance said...

I hate it all, too. I hate that civilizations, in the year 2024, are still using war rather than diplomacy. I hate that tribalism and religion and fanatacism cause so much destruction.

Gillian said...

Take care.

maya said...

Steph--I think that's a big part of it, yes. That we're on the side of the oppressor. And although it's termed a "war" it is civilians who are dying in the thousands in an area the size of Las Vegas. And because of the demographics of the area, at least a third of those killed and dismembered are children. Adults deserve to live too, but it's extra heartbreaking to see children suffer. And also the scale of things has been insane--In the last 10 months, Israel has dropped more tons of bombs on Gaza than were dropped on London, Hiroshima, and Dresden combined during World War II (75,000 bombs and shells on Gaza in 200 days--it is now more than 300 days). Israel is in violation of multiple UN resolutions and the International Court of Justice has ruled that Israel is committing genocide. So there is the accumulation of all these factors and yet our government will not withhold moral support, political support, bombs, missiles, fighter jets and money--we gave 3.5 BILLION just this week. Israel would literally be unable to bomb if we did not give them bombs. The bombs are being sent from the US, do you remember those pictures of Nikki Haley signing messages on them?

maya said...

I know this is difficult for you, Nance. I'm sorry for bringing it up. I couldn't agree with you more. There are so many other humane ways...

maya said...

<3

NGS said...

It is hard to think about all the suffering in the world right now. I wish there were an easy answer that would make the bombs stop.

maya said...

<3

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