I wonder if there's an alternate
autobiography somewhere
just a shift of a world away
autobiography somewhere
just a shift of a world away
in a "nice" arranged marriage
where my words have wars
locked into them
where my words have wars
locked into them
or one with so many or no kids
I am--again--lost amongst
I am--again--lost amongst
lives falling fast as rain
perhaps I grow angry like stars
beginning to dim at dawn
all heavy and alone
today (at least) all the alternatives
seem wrong, basic, way less than
reality's own beloved mess
___________
6 comments:
I love that little glimpse into your house. What a great photo of Big A and pups!
Cute.
When Noah was born I kind of wanted two more kids, another boy and a girl. The girl because I wanted a daughter. The second boy so Noah wouldn't be the only male in the family. (And now I don't have a daughter and Noah's the only male in the family, but neither seems that important any more.)
The other path-not-taken I think about the most often is what would have happened if I had been able to find a tenure-track job and not left academia. I actually would like to see how that life would have turned out.
I love this photo. There's so much warmth and contentment contained within it.
I almost cannot imagine any other life for me now. I'd still like a little plot twist here and there (You've won a million dollars! We've hired you a cleaning service! Come and guest lecture on the American Novel for a ridiculous amount of money!), but I largely feel as if I'm in the right place.
Maybe there was another Life for me, one where I pursued more of academia and writing and left domesticity behind, a sort of New York or Oberlin Nance. Interesting to think about.
Your house looks so bright and cheerful and I love how the doggos match everything perfectly!
Thank you, Nicole, Gillian, Nance, and NGS!
StephLove--I dreamed of more kids too, and planned to adopt for the longest time... I'm sad it didn't work out.
From everything I've read, you're an amazing teacher and scholar and it is such a loss to the field that you've stepped away from it. The TT job thing is such a lottery. I fully believe I earned my tenure, but getting the job itself was a massive stroke of luck. From being on search committees it always seems fairly arbitrary and/or political. Most candidates are so overqualified!
Nance--smiling at your "plot twists!" Yes, those would be nice. Sign me up too, please! I used to daydream other lives all the time. Now, like you, I am mostly content. I wonder if that's a function of age and maturity.
NGS--Yes, the pups go with everything!
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