Wednesday, October 04, 2023

celebrating small

I'm a bit sad-mad-feeling bad. 

We have two big birthdays coming up this month: Nu turns 16 and Big A turns 50! I'd love nothing more than to celebrate them by throwing huge birthday bashes for them... but neither wants that. I'm perfectly capable of pulling together surprise parties for both of them, but I know in my bones that they would actively dislike that. And of course they should be celebrated in ways that make them happy. 

I know these are just numbers and it's silly to feel like they would be missed opportunities and that a 17th birthday or a 51st birthday can't be as special. This year, both of them say they want dinner with the fam and... that's all. It sounds a bit... underwhelming?

I mean... I love birthdays so much, I invented Boss Days. Today was mine, BTW. I picked sushi for dinner, got waited on hand and foot, and used a gift cert to buy myself a copy of Why Has Nobody Told Me This BeforeI like how it sounds like a thriller instead of the self-help it is!

Pic: Out by Scout's memorial. Max and Huckie don't know what to do next after they've treed Kylo (our resident trickster / black squirrel). 


Sarah said...

Boss Days= genius. Ben never wants big celebrations, either, but sometimes I go for it anyway (40th bday for example). Harry also wanted NOTHING for 16, and it felt so weird to me-- I get this angst for sure.

Nicole said...

Maya, I am a Birthday Person. I love celebrating, I love other people's birthday, I love my birthday. My husband, while he always is generous and thoughtful on other people's birthdays, never wants anything big on his own birthday. If I threw him a surprise party I'd end up divorced. The guy doesn't like surprises, what can I say. Anyway, just commiserating with you because I GET IT.
Happy Boss Day!

StephLove said...

North was disappointed not to be able to have slumber parties for their 14th and 15th birthdays, thanks to covid, and for a while they were saying they wanted to have a really big party for 16 and we were willing, but when the time came they didn't want it anymore and they just wanted to go to dinner and a play with one friend. I was surprised by that and never really figured out what happened. (For 17, they did have a party, but with just a few people and not a slumber party.)

When I turned 50, we had a weekend at the beach (and also had dinner with a few friends afterward). I'm hoping to do the same for 60, though it will probably be just me and Beth, rather than the four of us.

You've got to go with what they want, but I understand being let down.

NGS said...

My situation is the same as Nicole's. You want to spoil me on my birthday? GO RIGHT AHEAD. My husband, on the other hand, would prefer if the day were to go by unremarked. And that's how it is. I love him for who he is and part of that is a guy who doesn't want a big fuss ever made about him. I guess I'm lucky I got him to have a wedding ceremony with guests!

maya said...

Sarah--it's an angst for sure.
Gillian-- Agree!
Nicole--You get it, you really do... I LOLed at what might happen if you threw a surprise party for R.
Steph--Your 50th sounds perfect!
NGS--LOL at being able to have wedding guests!

Based on our very small sample here it's mostly dudes and teens... what in the world is up with that?!

on a break (Winter Break)

It was so rude of Big A to cheerily text me "one more year" on New Year's day and then explain that in 2025 Nu would be off to...