Tuesday, May 30, 2023

conviction

windows look to the sky
they look  like  skies
birds could fly into

weightless the horizon
and  sightless  the sky 
yet birds fly there too 

there is only waiting
and  the  wearing 
of shiny new loss

 dreaming  up  sequels
where we just call for
birds to fly through

Pic: Peonies are showing off.

6 comments:

Gillian said...

Sad.

StephLove said...

Can I make a small suggestion?

maya said...

@Steph: Please! Please do!!

StephLove said...

I got a little tangled up in the first stanza because it seemed like "windows" are what birds fly into, but the "it" at the end made me wonder, because it's not plural. So I'd change "windows" to "a window" (or "it" to "them") unless I've read it wrong and that's not what the birds fly into. If you want to repeat the "birds fly into it" line verbatim so it contrasts more with the final line of the poem, I'd keep the whole thing singular. But there's also something to be said for the line changing a little each time.

maya said...

Oh, Steph--thank you! Writing in a hurry and late at night, I did not catch the lack of agreement. I will change this in the next version.

maya said...

Changed... I loved your suggestion for the repeat line to evolve each time

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