Inflection

I know my footprints make

achy commas in the snow

Icy shibboleths of everywhere 

I've been, when breath catches.

I keep finding these reminders--

the plainsong of my wandering

as though to say: now just pause

'cos--no one's ever here that long.

So commas--broken signs of all

kinds: earned, separate, or set off--

Of course I've known forever how

I am guilty of love--never list me alone.

_

'Yas

Not a day goes by that I don't think of cousin PD and the other 'Yas. It could be because something reminded me to think of our house as a home rather than as a real-estate investment; or I bought myself flowers when no one else did; or I'm driving in the snow and remembering her telling me about black ice, and to go slow on NJ hills; or because I got a mouthful of something spicy that reminded me of the rasam-buvva that she hand-fed me when I was too pregnant/nauseated to feed myself; or I'm yearning for times while we watched the kids play and could conduct sotto voce discussions of family, nation, or culture for hours.

When she texted me that she was going to be close by visiting her elementary schoolmates for the weekend to celebrate turning 50 in a few months, AND that she could spend a night with us... I squealed and then called her so she could hear me.

It was everything I imagined.

_

Forward

Around the eaves
a feathered departure

bookmarks your godhead,
your stubborn extension

of earth, home, earthliness.
It lifts me too for a moment

like the gaiety of someone
else's car music

_

Party weekend

I went to three parties yesterday (college holiday party, international student party, fundraiser) and two parties today (student Christmas party, colleague/friend's Festivus party)

I got to drag Big A and Nu to one yesterday and one today.

I will take that as success.

_

Takes after her Mama

I mentioned over dinner 

that I'd like to see the movie

 after Sarah raved about it.

So when Nu found the book

at the school book fair,

she got it for me, and even

WRAPPED IT UP FOR CHRISTMAS!

But she was too excited 

to give it me later and insisted 

that I open it right-away :P 

_

Vibrations

It is dawn in a dream and
my body is made of politics

nerves write these goodbyes
language breaks at my joints

water seldom returns to eyes
(though it does get in my nose)

we are afraid to admit it--
our days are ephemeral

insects chide and chatter
stars grind and grumble

_

Surprise

Ready, heading
downstairs in a rush
Big A lifts me

into the air
as I hit the
last stair,

spins me
around spins
me around

Nu pops her frown
through the door
and is relieved

I'm not yelping
about her
morning chores.

_

Time to go

Last night, I dreamt that I was looking over grandmother's old house by the sea. I was talking to my aunt and Big A about how it would make sense to get it (buy it?). I think we had decided to go for it until I remembered that the water from the faucets used to stain everything grey and wondered if that still happened and were there loud trains in the backyard?

The night before that, I dreamt of huge temple festival crowds. And among them, I found my mother with her friends. They were in full temple-going mode--vibrant silk saris and gem-studded jewelry and... were taking turns standing on a grate. Mom was so embarrassed to see me, but managed to hug me tight and whisper that I shouldn't tell anyone.

Both dreams were dotted with apocalyptic climate change motifs--rising seas, shimmering heat, crop failures--I blame the eco-criticism-ecofeminism class.

Is This Land is Your Land? 

Environment and Culture in the Anthropocene 

ENG 180/WGS 280

_

Inspiration

Found this on NuNu's school-issued laptop.🤓😍

(It says, "Alexander Hamilton wrote 51 papers in the span of 6 months, you can write ONE.")

_

Atwitter

things i do not say
are prisoners

they plot revolution
in whispers

and invitations
in shadows

they talk quietly
amongst themselves

their questions long
their answers looks

asking--are you thinking
-- what are you thinking

_

Dream

I remember you sleeping
even if I was sleeping too

Same with the puppies
same with the babies

same with begging
mountains to move

same with begging
the earth to open

same with the ice
looking down on me

from the air
and the glass up there

my silence and softness
growing plump like fruit

_

In Theory

What will winter do to us?
Will we continue even as
the outside plants are killed
by remorseful white skin
growing where nothing else will?

_

Shade

We've been admiring NuNu's pear 

that's so perfectly shaded.

She asks: "Have you ever shaded something? 

Did you ever learn how to shade?" 

"Now she's throwing major shade" 

her dad says.

_

“We’re in the liberry reading about naps, Mama”

_

Post-Holiday Sadness

It doesn't get any easier dropping At off at college. I keep thinking it might be easier if he took the bus, but that last hour of talking and joking and listening to him DJ on the car stereo becomes too tempting at the last moment.

Also today (in the library) someone told me that they were abandoned by their mom when they were eight.

Also today (in the grocery store) someone told me that they were trying to come out to their friends and family.

I'm kind of exhausted.

_

Thankful we need to improvise seating...

Fine

flashes of light 

insistent, slash 

the rear view mirror

tired, I look

for the cop car

speed-limit reminder 

but all I can see,

washing over me,

is sunset through the trees 

_

Imprint

I am the serotinal student

clasping ideas between breaths

clamping lips around knowledge

i touch a thousand books

i read them all


-

The World Turned Upside Down

Until we saw Hamilton last year in Chicago--I hadn't really paid a lot of attention to the phenomenon. I *loved* the rap form, the function of the cast, was happy for Miranda's MacArthur Genius award... and all of that. But I was afraid that it would be a bunch of bad rhymes or some twee hagiography. So the show was such a pleasure and a relief. And now we just can't stop listening to the soundtrack all the time.

I was looking for tickets to the touring company at the Wharton Center and they seem to have very little information. It's almost funny, so that's not the reason I was in tears to "It's Quiet Uptown" after I dropped At off at college this morning.

It was tough coming home to an empty house after such a crowded weekend. The crappy weather and the drippy roof aren't helping.
_

Fortune Chocolate Quotes

No. 1   Only everyday 

No. 2    Sure thing!

_

Hopeful/Healing

Relieved the radiologist 

didn't think she needed 

a CT scan for her wrist

_

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

SANSU SURPRISE!!

She didn't know her brother would be 

at the restaurant for her birthday dinner.

She walked in and remembers thinking:

why does this guy look so much like my nana

and why is he sitting all by himself

And then she started squealing 

and didn't stop hugging him

_

Double Digits!

Infinite love

Every morning you greet me

Welcome back, says a cluster of Bougainvillea 

_

Little Siblings Weekend at the college (Missing two instead of one)

_

When I retire I want to go on trips with my sister (like my mom)

Rameswaram and Kanyakumari

_

Boss Day swag (is Princely)

My family knows me well...

_

Homecoming (at the office)

The whole fambam in my office 

just before the parade.

_

Busted

Sometimes the puppies and I hang out in At's room

...and we usually get busted.

_

Change

Today

I thought I was lost on the way to work

because the light and the leaves were so different 

from yesterday

_

Dance Cam

So Far Away

At had us pose for this pic 

up at Aunt R's place on Lake Huron 

so he could put it up in his dorm. 

"Don't turn around," he called out 

as we walked up the dock, 

"don't look back."

_

College Kid

We managed a hurried 'we-fie' with At when we dropped him off at College yesterday. 

He's bunking with his best friends from school and so excited and ready for this. 

Don't look at the crumpled up lunch napkins on the table in front of me...

I may have decided to get the crying over with over lunch 

instead of at the opening convocation 

so as to not terrify the other parents...

_

He Takes his Spike Lee Seriously

Here and Now

It's past 2:00 a.m. and I'm about to try get some sleep for a string of errands and a coffee date with a binder sister (Z) in the morning.

It's just that I'm trying hard to eke out a few more minutes here because I just know that my dreams are going to be an apocalypse-themed torment. What with threats of "fire and fury as the world has never seen" and having read a bunch of climate change poetry for a new class prep.

If you're wondering about the best place to take cover in case of a nuclear fallout, I've got you covered.

_

Grandparents are so brave

they'll even take naughty puppies to the bank

(Parents aren't doing so well:

Hurry home, Huck!)

_

I keep looking

for the secret.

_

Cleverly Disguised

Not sure why I took this picture

he's so lovely/ we gave him that tee/

I love him

_

Education is Important

Many kinds of learners; only one Alma!

_

This is Not a Cat

Just Huckie!

I did something right

Big A took a picture 

of freezer-foraged dinner

(veggie burger/english muffin/fried egg)

_

O Momentous Day

Off to see 

the wonderful

Homecoming

_

When a Banker Says...

that they work with families 

on Detroit's Eastside,

they deserve their own 

thank-you copy.

_

In other news:

NuNu: Mama did it all by herself!

Nothing is Impossible

@The Broad

_

Looking up

NuNu helped clear a bed for the veggie garden :)

Seeing Us off the Property, Deer

There are at least three...

_

The First Year

Living somewhere new 

is full of garden surprises.

(Rhododendron by the Front Door)

_

TFW

you just erupt 

_

Picnic Smiles

(First pick-nick this year)

Regal

Highland Festival parade

Spring Spirit

This picture makes me smile because it's so green and lovely and all the kids are outside; it makes me chuckle because A is pretending that little NuNu is heavier than the-newly-18 At; it makes me laugh out because while Huck is all excitement and tail aflutter, Scout is crouching in the background just trying to poop.

_

Spring Term and the Loving is Easy

Scout came to class today

there was so much love

(from and for)

this baby.

_

Hamilton, Sir.

At didn't want to miss prom

so just those of us who're 

not going to college 

_

It's Kind of Silly, Really

How 

I end up 

loving every class.

Potter Park Zoo 

and then

I made them lunch

_

Cherry Blossoms/Sakura

At used to sing a song he'd learned at school 

to Nu while she was in my belly

I like to think she perked up at the song 

when he sang it to her in the outside world

Plot Twist: When A and I attended the concert 

where the song was sung...

It sounded *nothing* like what 

we heard at home :D 

_

Mmm... May Morels

From the SE corner of the garden.

_

What the 18-year-old Wanted for his Birthday

Sari/Not Sorry

At work

'cos I read this

and it made me mad.

_