there is no deadline

I started a letter when I was nine years old
then I began adding pictures of skies
wondering what to say

I've now moved to a place knit with passions

and second chances and curious panics

happy in some ways

my letter unfinished: words run down, hidden

like heartbeat or birds far from home 

I've stayed unwritten

in the place I asked for

one day, I thought I saw 

you--back in life, though

not in mine

                     I followed you through

                     streets--you had errands

                     but no home

                                                         now I make a boat for you

                                                         clean it of sadness and

                                                         stock it with food 

                                                lay in strong thoughts

                                                and soft words and 

                                                welcome shores

                     if there is a way, maybe

                     this is it, you'll lift like

                     a tide, finding love

until it sets me free too

so I too can live--

as I already do

as I ought to

I rustle into place 
holding the scene together 
whispering steps and trips 
 
the beast of my heart
beats: and here's eye contact

across our space and species 

what is it that hardens

me embarrassingly into love 

sings-drums-rings-hums hello 

---------------------------------

Pic and note: A moment I shared with some deer on our street.  

falling asleep thoughts

Here's Huckie looking so much like Falkor in The Neverending Story (ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah aah ah).

I think I termed Scout Falkor before, but nah, it's Huck. 

Got a ton of work, grading, and prep done. Discovered that Nu really likes chickpeas today. Did lots of planning for Big A's birthday. Did my laundry too, but can't count it "done" until I put it away (which will probably take 3-4 business days 😏).

I'm going to bed and it's not even 1:00 am yet! Nice!

autumnal

Long (good!) teaching day. It's like clockwork: midterm comes around and I realize I love my students. Things have been difficult at home this year, so I worried I wouldn't be able to connect... but Whoomp, There It Is! "I'm taking it back to the old school/'cos I'm an old fool." I'm glad to know my heart still works.

Big A is back in MKE; Nu hung out at a friend's until I got home; roofers didn't show again; I got to see At on a live podcast last night; Nu and I got most things checked off our list today. There are some yays in there. 

Pic: Scout calling Nu to come in for dinner.

weekend vibes

Yes. 

That's a folding camp chair. 

In the river. 

With a pumpkin sitting in it.

Happy Fall, Y'all. I guess.

(Homecoming weekend at MSU. And we went to our first halloween party of the year. Not sure if I'm ready for break to be over... but it is.)

 

"L(ove)" Notes

• L and I were both feeling feeble and fragile (L is post-Covid and I'm post-Covid-shot) so we went for a gentle stroll in the woods behind L's house. I thought this turn in the river was absolutely breathtaking. 

• L is just the best at sharing her view and the river--she lets the whole street keep their kayaks in her yard.

• Also, when I called my mom this morning, I got a whole carful of aunts and uncles, which was fun. When I told my mom that I was sick from the Covid booster, she said, "Oh, you did that? We're not even wearing masks over here, everyone is fine." My mom does her own thing, so I didn't say anything. However, when I archly relayed this story to L, she rightly pointed out that *I* had had a bunch of people in my house for pooja a week ago and that everyone has their own magical thinking about Covid. She's not a friend who always agrees with me 😃.

• Nu needed some extra kindness today, and L was the one to give it to him when he brought L some salad for dinner.

• L just called me sounding very excited... it turns out that Michael Moore, whose Substack she subscribes to, had quoted At from an article in the Washington Post.