trance

it's like breezes open my mouth
to pour in salted happiness

but how well do I know myself?

sleep (do not) want to sleep

so tonight becomes a cartwheel 

of love on sliding sands

the glow of my amma, dad, uncle, 

aunt, and sister at a bonfire

the rap of waves half a world away

in harmony with my heartbeat

and here's me waiting for something 

wild    to wish me goodnight

------------------------------------------

Pic: Picture of sunrise on the beach (Bay of Bengal) from a trip mom, dad, and Chelli took to visit VM and AA. 

in sight

the blizzard blooms 
in afternoon sun 

windows burn

but not the tree-line 

held in my mouth
like t e e t h  

unraveling the bridges
they can reach 

like breath

answering the songs

of late at night

dog choirs

we cannot yet speak of  

how meaning carries

across    species

I begin to see in silence 

how I understand

no thing

---------------------------------------------------------------

Pic: Surprise snow overnight--on cue for Nu's first day of Christmas break. 

Notes: We're rethinking traveling between Christmas and New Year to see grandparents. And there are rumors that school may be online in the new year. (And yes, someone forgot to bring summer's pillows in again.)

cake chart

A celebratory dinner for my friend AI's successful phd defense. On the table: A big dish of biriyani and sides. 

I was so proud of the (store-bought) cake, which said "Congratulations, Dr. I." Obviously, I gave AI the "Dr." part... At got the "Atul" part, Nu got the "Con" part (which they thought it was hilarious because they'd been a sneaky con artist recently). 

bell hooks

Not bell hooks... and not at just 69...

I've learned so much from her since my first feminist theory class and I've always had her work in all of the classes I teach.  Students love how easy and joyous her work is and how richly rooted in love and community. I gave copies of her All About Love: New Visions to lots of people just last Christmas, including At who fell in love with it. 

(And I had to talk myself out of being irritated by people who used uppercase to spell her name in their canned tributes although it felt so disrespectful; and I have to look away from the early death of another black activist; and I'm sitting with Kaye Wise Whitehead's "It is sometimes hard to imagine being in a world when the geniuses of your time are no longer in it.")

friends,

be careful with your worship
for in love souls grow
missions shining

they'll just... catch your heart 
you'll watch them take it 

and you'll do nothing 

there are sighs in our history

the wet edges of my face

icy yet blazing

becoming... tender accounts 
starry with sentinels
and yes, shining

more perfect (re)unions

Big A is back home after interviewing in Buffalo, NY where the chair kindly took this picture of him in front of the first unionized Starbucks in the USA for At, our little socialist. (Not sure how to tell it apart from the zillion other Starbucks facades in our universe, but...)

At was (predictably) thrilled and whooped. He'd been sending clips of the crew receiving the news of their winning votes and saying things like "I'm so proud of the Starbucks' kids" as though he's their uncle. At is 22, so this makes me chuckle.

I got grades finalized, welcomed the return of our internet, and had a nice long chat with JG who stopped by for a visit. We have an idea for a piece about disability and body horror (and humor?) that I'm eager to revisit.

Our chat ended abruptly because I had to go pick up Nu from school--I've been doing school drop offs and pick ups with Nu since our main road has been impassable for the school bus. But... we spied the bus on our way home today. I'm glad it's back, but I'll miss car chats with my Nu.

next time

chants sink their laments
into my lungs

like a monk, time now slips  
me memories 

people and love and times 

away, unavailable   

I meet myself falling down 

now into stories

now is evening in the world

although inside 

the starry core of my body  

it says 2:00 am

who knows if I'm really early--

or simply very late 

what shall do with myself now

I have broken time 

____________

Pic: I add one snow-globe to my Christmas collection every year. This year, I found these adorable friends exchanging gifts and then I FOUND THE SAME FIGURES AS STUFFIES! I lamented not having tiny babies who would be delighted with this find, but Nu--very kindly--really stepped up their game. 😁🤗