new nest

Nu is settled into their new nest for the school year. Goodnight was via text tonight. Gulp.

We set off around the usual time we'd leave for school last year and saw younger kids waiting on the corner for the school bus... so that was poignant. We took the fork in the road.

And it continued to feel surreal. The kids remarked that I usually don't follow the posted speed limit quite so precisely. (The joke being that I was going slower than I usually would as if to stave off the inevitable.)

But our conversations were very light. I think all the serious stuff has already been said before. Today, I was struck by the clever wordplay in Chappell Roan's new song when it veers between "She's got a way" and "she got away." Nu good-naturedly rolled their eyes at that, so things felt more normal then. When we got to At's playlist, we found that she had Audioslave and Hole on there after finding them on an I-Pod she had inherited from me a long time ago.

We got to school, got a hero's welcome complete with pom-poms and cheerful helpers, dropped stuff off, said hello to Nu's roomie and their parents, got a big breakfast in town, and checked in on the family picnic. Nu insisted that they did not need (or want) help unpacking, (classic "I do it myself" Nu since they were about 18 months old), so we got some selfies and said goodbye.

Pic: A series of At, me, Nu, and Big A. I couldn't pick just one!

here we are

I checked out of the last set of work meetings early so I could spend some extra time before dinner with Nu on their last evening home before college. 

Dinner was grilled cheese (by request), friends dropped off brownie treats (LB) and chocolate (BL) for Nu to take to college, Nu's friends had helped them pack while I was at work, and Nu had done all their laundry and finished up by stacking all the college stuff in the rumpus room.

I got an extra long and tender kiss-hug goodnight. I may have clung on for an extra moment or two. Nu is still my baby. They're still just 17. But it's off to college tomorrow. I'm so excited for them!

Pic: Max inspects Nu's stacks of dorm stuff while a blurry, harried Nu explains. Max doesn't know what's coming and is going to miss Nu SO much! Huck has weathered At going off to college and may remember how that works. Scout was so mad at the world when At left... He'd sort of storm off through the doggie door and sit outside glaring up at the house. It was hilarious and sad.

Mixed, Mad, Mellow

Mixed: Back on campus for a full day of Fall conference today. It's delightful to see everyone after a summer of being away. And every year I find myself missing people who aren't here. Some of them are happily retired, some resigned unhappily, some moved on to other places, + a significant number of jobs were cut last December. There were a few absences today that were unexpected and I don't know if they're gone, are quiet-quitting, or just playing hooky. 

Mad: I'm upset that the funds I wired via Western Union in a hurry to help with my mom's medical bills last week were put on a hold. They didn't bother to tell me until I called them and then asked me a bunch of annoying questions to "protect me from scammers." You know what seems like a scam to me? Quietly sitting on my money for over a week when you promised it would be transferred in 15 minutes. I chose Western Union over a bank transfer precisely because it's supposed to be available in a matter minutes rather than days, but here we are ten days later. Ugh.

Pic: Mellow: An ice cream treat with Huck and Max. I get the chocolate part; they get the vanilla.

some media prompts and thoughts

Nu showed me this one: Google search "let's with mama" and click on the images tab. You'll get a bunch of cute pictures of animal mamas and babies doing cute, cuddly things together. Toddler Nu used to love "Mama and Baby" toys and pictures and I'm tickled to see that fondness made it to adulthood. 

We saw Weapons last week, and I've decided that I DO NOT LIKE it. There is a thread of ableism and ageism there I resent. IYKYK.

I am sad that And Just like That is going away. It wasn't a particularly good show, although it wasn't as terrible as this review makes it out to be, and I was mostly watching it out of nostalgia. And--after years of calling it "And so it Goes" and "That's What She Said"--I had just learned to say the name of the show right too. 

Saved the best for last. This spoken word piece by Sam Browne called "Guts" uses "dead babies" as anaphora and is heartbreaking, real, and amazing.

Pic: The koi pond at Radiology Gardens. Walk with L. 

a season of goodbye

We drop Nu off at college on Wednesday--that's coming up fast! I'm fueled by excitement for Nu and an ever-expanding to-do list before drop-off and the approach of back-to-school duties of my own. I know I'll get to Wednesday just fine... but I wonder how it'll feel coming back home after drop off.

Sometimes I'm curious about how it might feel not to be a full-time parent after 26 years of being one. Max and Huck are much easier than Nu--perhaps it'll feel... liberating?At other times I'm deeply aware of what an immense shift this is and know that things will never ever be the same again. Even though there will probably be plenty of visits and summers spent at home...

Pic: Lots of dinners this week so Nu can say goodbye to people. I forget what the joke was here (it doesn't look like poor Max was in on it either :)!) Pic by E.M.

going back where I came from

I could  lose  myself 

in much lonelier ways 

wandering on between 

no and now and nowhere

but then you tell me to go 

back where I came from 

I understand your animus

curled tight like my fist  

but I pretend confusion

& enact comic indecision:

all the way back to heaven
or just up my mom's vagina?

________________________________

Pic: Baker Woods looking magnificent. Walk with L.

Felony? Sounds like baloney

Yesterday, dear Subway Steph who lives in D.C. tipped me off that a man standing outside a Subway restaurant in D.C. was "charged with assaulting a federal agent with a sandwich."

This is so ridiculous. Are they going to pretend that a federal agent wearing a tactical vest was in danger from a sandwich? 

Isn't it extra ridiculous that they're making more noise about this than the murders of Minnesota senator Hortman and her husband who were assassinated in their home in June?

My mind kept coming up with more ridiculous responses all day:

Assault with a sandwich? Bite me.

Buddy, you're... toast.

Did you want a donut instead?

Is it a felony because it was a footlong? Would it have been a misdemeanor if it was a six-inch?

Pic: In my "Writing About Social Issues in Unprecedented Times" class earlier this evening. I'm better at photographs when I'm not the one taking them!

a song to follow

I  know it can't  be summer forever

these anonymous days will end soon 

and though today I talk of happiness

tomorrow we will plan a resistance 

with 

voices 

eyes 

hands

the breeze 

lifting 

us like joy 

(or dismay)

the world is so loud with trouble 

and yet we feel almost immortal 

spreading like rumors, we wade in

knowing there's still time to be taken 

________________________________

Pic: It's almost as if it will stay summer forever... I'm so grateful for sunshiny light, for things growing madly, and for bird visitors. And yet, the news out in the world continues to be so dire...

Real talk

Blog friends... Thank you for your gentle check-ins! Nicole just talked to me about The God of Small Things for a couple of days. I do similar check-ins with At all the time.

What timing... Federal control of Washington D.C. with National Guards taking over mere hours after we returned home. The president's claims about rising crime and homicide are all false, BTW. 

Countdown to Nu leaving for college... NINE days!

Big A is on the mend... But I've thought that before. 

Pic: Huck's a real fan of brunch time conversations.

memories of new friends

On Saturday, I was happy to meet two online friends in person.

Steph who writes at AllForTheLoveOfYou playfully described how she sometimes thinks of blogger friends as "imaginary friends." But I met Steph in person in Takoma Park... we both exist! We got beverages and talked and talked about teaching, writing, kids, activism, and on and on. Steph seemed exactly how I imagined her from her writing--beautiful, wise, funny, and very serene underneath it all.

I also met the Steph who sometimes describes herself in the "comments" as "Subway Steph" because she sends me virtual Subways sandwiches when I'm having a bad day. Steph made me a two-page list of things to do in D.C., so I'm going to have to come back! I was so grateful and moved by the attention Steph gave to this task--for instance, in recommending Busboys and Poets, Steph said it was activist-y and that sounded like the sort of thing my family might be into. 

We met at Zaytinya the restaurant of Chef José Andrés (of World Central Kitchen) and later I took the fam to dinner at Yellow (also a Steph recommendation). People couldn't stop raving about the food. Big A said it was the best food he'd ever eaten. Steph is so young, and I'm a big believer in intergenerational friendships, so this whole interaction made me so happy. I love knowing people like her are looking out for the future of the world and people in need.  

Pic: My selfie skills are sucky, but Steph and I were all smiles.

A diamond

Although I didn't get to celebrate my MIL's 75th with her this weekend, I got to celebrate SD's diamond birthday with a houseful of her family and friends. SD is my lovely, and probably my first American, friend who has seen me through widowhood, single parenthood, and so much more, saving me over and over again. 

We disagree about some things right now, but she'll listen to my rant and heartbreak, and she always ends every conversation by reminding me that she loves me.

The party was huge, and I took a breath before I dove in. I know SD's kids and some of her friends but there were so many people there... but then no one can ever stay a stranger in a Jewish home, in my experience. It was the best time, and I got dropped back to my hotel well after midnight.

Pic: SD's son, who works at the Kennedy Center, made an animated video about her life that I loved. The likeness was remarkable. For comparison, SD is the one in the gold sari next to me in this photo.