O M G(anesha)

We have little Ganeshas all over the house and at least once a year, they get sprinkled with rosewater, decorated with turmeric and kumkum, and offered fresh flowers and berries. 

Today was that day. (We usually do this on Ganesh Chaturthi, but that was a working day + At was traveling.) 

The kids have always liked the thrill of seeking out the Ganeshas in every room. Some have been in the same place forever--like the big Ganesha in the vestibule, but many get moved around when I rearrange, and some--like the Ganesha in a rocking chair I picked up over the summer's trip to India--are new.

This year, I offered a cash prize to the kid who guessed how many Ganeshas we have. We have 30 Ganeshas! There were some rascally disputes about who guessed what--so they both split the grand prize. (It was a 20; I am so money 😂.) (Also: I just remembered that we missed the Ganeshas in the basement!)

Pic: At and Nu with offerings for Ganesha. Huck and Max are here because they love banana, dried mango, and pumpkin cookies.

unexpected excitement(s)

Good excitement: Getting a text from At after my day of eight meetings asking if they could come home for dinner (YES!) and take Nu back to their place for a sleepover (so cute!). And then EM texted saying they'd found "a very nice mooncake without egg yolks" for us to share for today's Autumn moon festival. 

Bad excitement: Me speeding about 5 miles faster than usual to get home and make dinner. 

Good excitement: Everyone said they'd be here at different times so Big A ate at the counter while I cooked... but then EM was here... and At was here too before too long. So we all sat down to dinner, noisily talking over each other, making jokes about corpos and high school and each other before we started on the mooncakes. 

Bad excitement: After everyone had left (Big A for work, EM to have Zoom dinner with their mom, At and Nu for their sleepover), I smelled something like a gas leak in the garage. There is no gas line there AFAIK, and when I called the company they wanted me to call 911, so I did. Then a big firetruck and the nice fire chiefs came by and drove Huck and Max bonkers. The fire people did a ton of checks but thankfully neither they not their various gadgets found anything.

Good excitement: Realizing close to 1:00 am as the firetruck pulled away and I walked Max in the backyard that the overcast skies had cleared... and I had a perfect view of tonight's supermoon!

Pic: Nu and At on the driveway as they set off for the evening. 

class... and caste

I told my favorite class that they were my favorite class today. They have such wonderful insights and analyses so I spend a lot of time when I'm not actively prepping class talking to them in my head and thinking up ancillary material they would appreciate.

For instance, today we read the late, great Kamilah Aisha Moon's poem "Fannie Lou Hamer"  and it really resonated--especially with the education majors who were reminded of all the ongoing school book bans where it seems like people believe racism will go away if we don't talk about it. 

At my PWI, I've always tried to offer different subject positions so people don't defensively feel locked into positions of white supremacy. Whiteness doesn't preclude people from being on the side of justice... You can be anti-racist... you can be Victoria Liuzzo! You can be John Brown!* I got to try that out for myself today while listening to news of the California caste ban. The first part of the show has the amazing Thenmozhi Soundarajan (whose book I should finish soon), and there are defensive protesters in latter half of the segment claiming the legislation isn't needed because caste doesn't exist anymore. (Eyeroll.) And I checked in with myself, and no--I felt no solidarity with the "high-caste" woman who was making that argument; my solidarity is with the people fighting for justice and that's as it ought to be.

Pic: Huck and Max are confused about race. Huck says, "I'm brown like Mama." Max says, "Wait! I thought we were ginger like Dada?"

*Perhaps I should find some examples of people who weren't martyred though.

fall (in love)

George Eliot just made an appearance in the Zadie Smith novel I'm reading!

It's so cool because I know how much Smith loves 19th century novels, and her new novel is set in the 19th century and I was just thinking it that it read a bit like a George Eliot and suddenly there was George Eliot herself. Just a cameo for now, but who knows... I'm just over halfway through.

In any case it reminded me of this lovely quote by Eliot that is so perfect for this cloudy, moody, and perfectly fall day: "Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love — that makes life and nature harmonize. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one’s very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." (from Letter to Miss Lewis, Oct. 1, 1841)

Early this morning, I did a handful of tough (for me) things I'd been ignoring (set a new timeline for the book, queried a weird credit card charge, fixed an IT snag on Canvas, addressed a difficulty with a coworker) and the rest of the day fell into a more predictable and productive pattern.

Pic: A mess of vines in dramatic fall colors from a short walk today.

just right!

O my heart. 

The bowls of salad Nu and Big A made to accompany the tiny pizzas they made for dinner looked like they were ready for the three bears in the Goldilocks story. 

It made me smile although I was nearly falling down from tiredness from being too hot all day in a twinset. (It was supposed to be cold!) 

I got the Papa Bear bowl because I'm the biggest eater of us three.  (But I do need to find a nice way to suggest that maybe we not team apples and avocado in the same bowl next time. 😄)

Pic: Bowls of salad that were not too big... not too small... but just right for today!

a bridge so near

They've positioned the walking bridge across the Red Cedar. Never have I ever been so invested in a construction project! There are several walking bridges on the riverwalk towards Spartan Stadium, but this is the first one east of campus and right across from our street. They're calling it a "river trail expansion" and it would let us walk/bike all the way to Lake Lansing.

Did I say "invested"? I meant excited. I dragged Big A over to see it all up close at the end of our walk. And he kept warning me not to touch it as if I was a toddler with no self control. 

As if. 

Also: Super happy about the successful end to the WGA strike and fingers crossed for the SAG people. I'm on tenterhooks about the UAW strike; I've been dipping into Chapter 13 of The People's History for inspiration and optimism.

 

Pic: The new walking/bike path this afternoon after workers had left for the day.

It is told

I cast stones, follow them down
with my eye
everyone loves a happy ending 

                                                        a memory of my father, hand raised

                                                        to give me 

                                                        a high five or a hug or a wave hello 

the child irrevocably lost somewhere 

although only 

in books and movies and video games 

                                                       doesn't everyone love a good story?
                                                       even when 
                                                       it runs off inexplicably like water?

frequently, I too have taken to a bed 

planting crops

in the soft dust of worlds being born

------------------------------------------

Day: I didn't leave home today. I attended UU online, graded online for hours, read for hours, gardened and walked in the yard for hours, Nu met friends for dinner and was gone for hours, and then R stopped by to give me a massage--for one hour. I think that was the high point of my day. Spent some time being miffed with Big A, and that was the low point. (Raced through Jessamine Chan's School for Good Mothers and now am deep into Zadie Smith's The Fraud.)

Pic: Max and Huck at sunset yesterday. Golden hour; golden babies.

company song*

the glasses fall
they bleed their wine 
our stories agree
on paths of memory

we're at last call 

see banter and comfort 

touch everyone

and as we're nearly done 

I thank you, all

you aimed for music 

told the song

of where we may belong 

-----------------

*Note: A ditty Nu helped me make as we put away last night's party. 

Pic: A handsome frog sunning himself at our pond. No kisses or crown needed.

"full hearts, can't lose"

Dinner party at our place this evening. My standing 2:00 pm EPC meeting got canceled, so I happily cooked from 1:30 to 6:00. I made too much food as usual, but was able to send people home with take home boxes. 

Lovely people, terrific conversations, and a happy evening. Nu had requested that they be excused as soon as they'd eaten, but they stayed at the table all evening because they were enjoying themselves. (I guess we teachers know how to talk to young people!)

Pic: Taken by VV, in whose honor this gathering was. While I'm posting just a screenshot here for other people's privacy, everyone looks lovely in it. (Except me--in black at the head of the table with Big A--I was saying "wow" and look hilarious. Ha.) 

how they grow

My heart grows full. I feel really connected to my classes (ahead of schedule even... usually it's around midterm before I announce how much I love my students to the fam). 

An old student announced a major career win on FB, and when I added my congratulations, they thanked me and commented, "your courses and kindness did a lot to shape my goals." That felt so wonderfully validating to hear--a reminder of good things I did in the past and hopefully will again. Also because when I think of this student one of the first things I remember is their kindness and brilliance. 

Pic: Max after he treed a squirrel (Kylo, I think). And just like that (IYKYK), Max looks like a big kid. There's still some puppy in his eyes and that infantilizing (yellow with polka dots!) harness Big A got him, but mostly grown up. 

an unfolding

I have been dreaming of people
invisible mountains I exhaled 

into existing

twisting, quickening and though 

short-lived as grass, are seeds 

spiraling in space

are tendrils--of time and desire

opening and expanding

nodding, knowing

a  presence  here to make up for

an absence there, everywhere

the whims of distance 

I... wonder at the un-being before, 

after--the gasp of busy-ness now

marks how life slips by 

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Note: I did not expect when I started writing that in writing about the space we occupy, I would slip into--and invoke--ideas of galaxies. I think some of this came from dreaming last night--vividly--of people who were important for a season but I may never see again. And I miss Scout so much... my irrational search for him certainly spans every interpretation of "heavens."

Pic: I found this perfect and early autumnal tree in the grocery store parking lot!