road trip talk

words walk away; walk me back

tangling and untangling the past

I look to the sky; birds don't care--

they sing wordlessly anyway 

you look for proof, for guarantees

I have only sympathy, agreement--

we're now the rain's own drum beat

a storm announced on this journey 

but we're in charge of where we go,

when we stop--our talk is like a trip--

is that insight? It feels like a lightbulb

in the sudden pop of the sun overhead 

five pups tonight

I spent many hours on the sofa in post-pizza and post-teaching lassitude this evening, accompanied by Scout (at my hip) and Huck (by my feet) and Floof (on the bannister). The fourth pup is me ("Pup," "Puppy," and "Princess Puppy Dog" have been nicknames from different loved ones--one of whom has a birthday today). 

The fifth pup is in this poem by Charles Simic (Simic died recently and I've been thinking of this poem about how we don't deserve dogs--or war--a lot). 

On this Very Street in Belgrade

Your mother carried you

Out of the smoking ruins of a building

And set you down on this sidewalk

Like a doll bundled in burnt rags,

Where you now stood years later

Talking to a homeless dog,

Half-hidden behind a parked car,

His eyes brimming with hope

As he inched forward, ready for the worst.

 

double bubble

The reflection of the graffiti doubled how colorful that patch of the bridge looked as L and I came around the bend, and it reminded me of Laura Gilpin's poem "Two-headed Calf." 

L hadn't heard of this amazing poem, so I found it on my phone and read it to her with my voice breaking at the end.

Then we finished up our walk and I headed into a day of meetings meetings meetings meetings.

And some good news from this week: two poems  accepted to an anthology of pandemic-era writing, and also accepted--an academic book proposal that the editor who wrote back characterized as "gentle and kind."

winter in two places

somewhere not here

someone I love finishes

a shift in the ER: 12 hours

in the dark, desperate hours 

over night... on his way home

dreaming of breakfast then bed

he nevertheless stops on the way

gently checks on someone else

huddled and sleeping in a doorway

way over here, I marvel at geese

standing on a layer of ice so thin 

it's almost barely a breath of frost

I watch as bit-by-bit the ice cracks 

and gives... and the geese settle 

into different spaces and poses

their refusal to panic at anything

to do with winter's fickle apparatus

my hunger, my yearning, are an infinity

Pic: geese (standing/sitting) on a very thin layer of ice. Red Cedar River. From Monday's walk with L.

all about that Huckie

When SD visited last year, one of the many things she did to ease my life was tell me about mobile groomers.  Our vet had stopped offering grooming services, and there are so many sad and scary stories about pet stores and mishaps, I was bit immobilized by choice. Then SD told me that people will come to your home and groom your puppies in their van in your driveway. How did I not know about this?!? 

Anyway, we've used Zoey's a couple of times now, and it's less stressful for both me and the pups. It is a bit of a running joke in the family though that every time Zoey posts a collage of Scout and Huck pics, it's almost always all Huckie because Scout looks so miserable in the most non photogenic way when he's not with family.

Cuddling with extra fluffy and nice smelling babies tonight.

Sunday (high) five

1) Another brilliant day--plenty of time outside with Nu, Scout, and Huck and a long walk with L. The next sunny day is a week away, so I was glad to have today. 

2) Dropped Big A off at the train station. Boo. Hiss. But really, the January schedule has been okay-ish so far. He'll be back in three days. I can handle it.

3) Completed Laura Vanderkam's time tracking challenge. I wasn't surprised to see it inconsistent except for the 5/5:30 am wake up, tea, and meditate; kids' breakfast and walk to the school bus on the weekdays; and family dinner time around 5:30 pm every day. Apart from those, things were very whimsical--I could be working, reading, goofing off, sleeping, or some combination of those at 1:00 am, and I guess I'm ok with that. Early mornings and late nights are times when it's just me, and I delight in that. No shame.

4) Lovely Sistrum concert this afternoon with LB. Some truly uplifting singing. Friends GJ and RS sing with Sistrum and love it; RS has been encouraging me to join as she thinks it would help me through some of the more life-y things happening right now. We'll see. 

5) At was so chuffed to find out from an older cousin that their grandfather in Sri Lanka was a socialist organizer--my baby labor organizer is going to want to talk about this all the time now, I just know. 😂🥰

Happy Pongal!

SO glad the sun came out for Pongal today! 

I went out with a little offering for the sun and Scout and Huck-- good Hindu babies that they are--accompanied me. 

(Of my other babies: At was off camping with friends and Nu was taking a well deserved nap after working out with Big A this morning.) 

The last couple of years our Pongals have been heavy with snow.

Not today though.

Nice one, 2023!

when I can't make up my mind

the constant urgings of the morning

then time scatters what comes next 

regret is everywhere like graffiti

discontent sinks in like stones

there are more than just two options

one can't really outspend them all 

I know I'll hope I know I'll hope 

I hope I'll know I hope I'll know 

Pic: Graffito on my walk with Big A this morning. (MSU, under the Farm Lane Bridge.)

address uh-oh woes

It felt so good to stand with Nu in December--talking and snacking as we set up an assembly line for getting the holiday cards in the mail: putting on address labels and stamps and inserting the chatty newsletter and sealing the envelopes... 

Only, at least two of the cards we sent out have been returned to us because the little label indicating the delivery address seems to have fallen off. Yet another friend posted a picture of our card sans their address--at least their address label fell off after it was delivered to them.

I don't know whom these sad returned cards were addressed too, so I'm feeling self-conscious, wondering if people think I'm that rude dummy who didn't send them a card this year. 

I guess the lesson is check the work of teens who're not into the task that means so much to you.

a second day of sunshine this year

We're getting fancy in Lansing, MI

the day no longer seems some

element to overcome

the sun shines like it does on TV

skies turn from blank openings

to bliss in a blue abyss 

(tree shadows too have RSVP-ed 

to be on guard, fend off the look

of a picture postcard)

Pic: Second day of sunshine in Jan 2023. 

great starts

My friend Oindrila Mukherjee's novel "The Dream Builders" was launched today. Here she is with her fabulous book and a cake version of it too. After the launch, reading, Q&A, book signing, and helping with clear up, we hung out with tapas and wine, celebrating until late with her local and Atlanta friends. 

I got home after midnight, and hung out with Scout and Huck for a while (they were the only ones up), too tired to actually go to bed. It's after 1:30 now, so I really should get up and go to bed as I'll have to wake up at 5/5:30 to help Nu get to school...

The first day of classes went well. For the first time in a while I don't have the same students in more than one class, so it felt very liberating to make the same silly icebreaker jokes without feeling like I'm repeating myself. Ha. 

(Oh... and I was one of the few people who was masked at the book launch. One of the guests who'd come from Atlanta, and WHO WORKS AT THE CDC, said they put away their mask because no one else was wearing one, but now that I was masking they felt more comfortable...  then they pulled their K-95 with a flourish and wore it. What the what?!?!)