Today felt strange... a committee that usually meets every Friday cancelled a couple of meetings and met for the first time since the day I heard the news about Amma. It made me uneasy and it took me a long time to find my voice.
And because I was already mourning At's ex when this happened, it feels like grief is escalating. On some level, I fear more is coming my way.
In my body I am silent. I hurt and now I'm constantly nauseous.
So far, the only place I feel like myself is in the classroom. And student services. (By the end of the weekend, I'll have fulfilled my beginning-of-term obligations as advisor to three of four organizations. Or so I hope.)
3 comments:
I understand this and have felt this way in loss, internalizing so much pain. There's no balance.
In the classroom and in your service work, you're balancing the loss and pain with using your gifts and kindness. Those things bring happiness back into your life.
Please try to be patient as your body and spirit heal. I wish so much that it didn't take Time.
What Nance said. I wish I didn’t know what you are going through, but of course I do. I’m glad you have teaching to give you some sense of normalcy. <3
I'm sorry. 3 weeks really isn't that long for such a big loss.
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