when the priest says it's time to wed
the groom declares he must leave now
he will go on a pilgrimage to Varanasi
where he yearns to become a scholar
the bride's brother hurries after him
with an umbrella, a brass pot of water
come back, he pleads, marry my sister
he waves the umbrella over the groom
who is already dressed for a wedding
he carefully washes the groom's feet
with turmeric water from the brass pot
in which marigold and rose petals float
to soften his pleas, his clear entreaties...
the groom eagerly agrees, then presents
his brother-in-law-to-be with a gold ring
the wedding carries on as it was meant to
_____________________________________
Note: In South Indian Hindu wedding ceremonies there is a part called the Kasi Yatra (Pilgrimage to Kasi-Varanasi) which is such a little piece of theater. The groom declares that he's decided to continue being a bachelor student-scholar and takes a little ceremonial walk pretending to take off to the scholarly city Varanasi while the bride's brother is despatched to beg him to return to the wedding. They say it is to mark the passage of the groom from the state of bachelorhood to that of a householder. But it seems like a lot of drama. Haha. The groom is expected to give his brother-in-law-to-be a precious ring to reward him. My uncle still wears the ring my father gave him.
12 comments:
This is fascinating! I didn't know this at all, how interesting. Love the drama!
Funny.
What's the origin of this? Is it a reenactment of something in folklore or history? It's fascinating.
Interesting tradition
That is a lot of drama, but when it's expected, I could enjoy it! I love hearing about other cultures traditions. A woman I used to work with was Russian and they had this whole tradition about hiding the bride or something to that extent? It was quite a production as well but she got married 15+ years ago so my memory is foggy. For my older siblings weddings, there was sort of a tradition of the guys "stealing the bride" after the wedding and then bridesmaids would "steal the groom." The stealing generally involved taking the bride or groom to a bar. But we did not do that when I got married! But we also had a tiny wedding party - just my 2 sisters and my husband's 2 closest friends. I was in some weddings with huge 6-8+wedding parties. I wanted a far simpler affair!
That sounds fun if you know what's going on, but would be upsetting if you didn't! I've never been to a southern Indian wedding I guess, because I've never heard of this tradition.
I don't know why it popped into my head...
Yes :)
It's meant to symbolize passage from the scholar stage of life to the householder stage... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%80%C5%9Brama_(stage)
Kasi has been a pilgrimage center for over 3000 years, so I imagine this part of the ceremony is also ancient?
A bit "extra" as the kids might say!
I love all the "stealing"! I bet it helps the two "sides" get to know each other better. In North Indian weddings, the bride's cousins hide the groom's shoes, and he has to pay to have them released :). We had a very simple wedding with just our siblings too!
J--It all happens in Sanskrit, so it's possible to be blissfully unaware of it, too.
One of the fun fight-y things is when the bride and groom are supposed to exchange garlands, but their uncles hoist them in the air, so it becomes a competition about who gets lifted higher. I tried to find a video to explain it better, but couldn't...
(Also when I said "fight-y," I was reminded of "bitey face" lol)
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