So I was a bit euphoric when I wrote yesterday's post. It feels good to solve a problem so easily. But I just know my parents would not approve of me making withdrawals from that account. I know they already gave it to me and it's mine to do whatever I wish with it and all that. But I feel bad. They'd be
hurt about it. They would say they sacrificed a lot to give it to me. And yes, I guess they did sacrifice things like impromptu trips to Turkey when they were young to save it for me. I've also been feeling bad about Big A, who makes many times more than I do, but shares everything equally, and here I am spending a private stash I claimed was not for spending. But it's done. And I'm mostly glad I did it.
Anyway.
Money is so weird. And I don't want to keep thinking about it and feeling anxious.
But L took me to see 9 to 5 The Musical this evening and I had to continue to think about money some more. About 80% of the audience was women--as if the wage gap isn't an issue that ought to concern everyone. It was a terrific show and a lively and engaged audience. Bless Dolly Parton for making it all feel snappy and hummable at least.
22 comments:
Money is a very complicated topic. How do you think your parents would prefer that money? Is it meant to be a small safety net in case something ever happened to your husband?
I’m glad you had a fun night out at a great musical! I’m feeling quite depressed about all these DEI initiatives being canceled. When I was hiring for my position a year and a half ago, the HR person who screened the resumes ensured that we had a diverse candidate pool. This is really important in my area of work, which is asset management/finance because it’s a very white male dominated sector. But when it came time to make my offer, there was no pressure or expectation that I would choose a diverse candidate. Ultimately, I offered the role to a Latino male, but that was my choice because he was truly the most qualified candidate. And he would’ve been in my candidate pool, regardless of his diversity because of his qualifications. I saw that Citi is canceling their DEI program because they are technically a government contractor. I know my firm is considered a government contractor as well so I’m going to be curious to see what happens with our diversity initiatives. I’ve also heard that universities are closing women in engineering programs and things of that nature because they fear they appear to be DEI programs. UGH!!!!
Take care.
Money is a very sensitive topic. Almost as much so as sex, or even more depending on the context.
Money IS weird. I've worried about it my entire life, even when I didn't have to. Old habits die hard, truly. I honestly, truly believe that Money CAN Buy Happiness. It can certainly take away a great deal of cares and woes, and that leaves space for so many other things. It sounds very philosophical to say, "Oh, but so many rich people are unhappy," but think of what money would do for so many people in poverty. Trust me--they'd take the money.
The DJ played Livin' On a Prayer and then 9 to 5 as the first songs at our wedding. Both songs that got multiple generations out on the dance floor. Both are PERFECT songs.
Money is so weird. I understand the complexity of spending money your parents gave you for something (you think) they wouldn't approve of, and I understand the guilt/queasiness (/shame???? I also don't like thinking about it, so haven't really defined this feeling for myself) of not being the breadwinner.
I get guilty about spending too. I never used to think about it much but as I age, I realize someday I might need that for care that insurance doesn't cover or if I can't live independently. I love the comments here. See my email about 9-5!
Yep, money is weird. WHY does it have to be so complicated? If I were your parents I would be proud of the way you spent that money- but everyone comes to these things with different perspectives.
I hope you don't regret spending the money by helping your friend. I think it was a true gift to be able to help them in their time of need.
When my father died, he left each of us a bit of money. I have spent some of it a few times, a trip to France to celebrate our 25th anniversary and our daughter's graduation from college, things like that. I like to save when I can and get it back to how much he left me. If it makes you feel better about spending your kum-kum money, what if you paid yourself back little by little?
Also, yes, money is weird and can change relationships. And I had no idea that there was a musical version of 9 to 5. I am not really into musicals, but I think I could get behind that one.
Your inheritance doesn't belong to you, it belongs to your children. While you may receive money, the true intention is to eventually pass that on to the next generation, essentially acting as a custodian.
Lisa, I know my parents would like me to never touch it.
The DEI issues you mention are so huge... Thank you for trying to do the right thing always. I have been on an Amazon and Target boycott since they walked back their DEI initiatives, but that seems a tame response.
Thank you!
Truer words..., Steph! And complicated too.
100% agree, Nance. All of our global problems could be solved by money. This is why people sitting on billions they never plan to use irritates me so much.
Economic adversity theme, yo! Get on the dance floor!
Suz--you really get me. I'm just going to sit with that for a while.
Jeanie, That is truly another huge consideration! And grrl!! I was so excited to see your 9-5 email!!
Jenny--you are such a good person!! Your kids are so lucky <3
Jules, thank you, thank you, thank you for this! It's not regret, not exactly--but some guilt/dismay etc. and your suggestion to "get it back to the original" is the perfect solution.
And 9-5 is delightful as a musical... In part, because Dolly's persona and song are already so strongly imprinted on the movie, maybe?
Engie, We refer to Dolly Parton as "Comrade Dolly" in our house because that song is practically Marxist :D
Noted, Anon. This is how my parents are, btw.
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