Thursday, June 27, 2024

an unexpected red carpet

We took a 40% pay cut when Big A moved his job back to Michigan (I always count it as worth it!), so we've been discussing selling the house to downsize. (It does make me sad, but also... there are way worse fates in the world, and our dilemma pales in comparison.)

We've been holding off as Nu is headed for their last year of high school, and it would be too disruptive to move to a different school district at this point. 

It's worth noting that when we moved to this house, there were six humans (both kids were home and my parents lived with us for six months of the year). This house would be way too big for just A and me. On the other hand, we love this house and its happy memories so much and would be happy to stay here until the kids move us to a retirement home. We'll have to see how things shake out. 

Speaking of retirement homes, Nu told us with a straight face at dinner that when the time came, they'd be putting us in different homes because "you two together are too much." Both Big A and I pleaded and offered all kinds of silly bribes, but no--it will have to be different homes. I mean... I know it was meant to be funny, but it made me really sad to imagine living out my final days without A. And I was already in a bad place because of a sad book (Catherine Newman's We All Want Impossible Things).

Pic: Our walk through South Campus was disrupted due to construction. The construction crew has kindly put down a reddish tarp to indicate the detour, and it looks for all the world like an unexpected red-carpet experience.


Nicole said...

A 40% pay cut! Wowza. Maya, we moved into this house which is double the size from our old one, which seems kind of weird given that our kids are adults now and there are only a few more years AT BEST that anyone will be living with us. It is a big house for two people. BUT my thinking was that if they move to a different city, I wanted space for them to always be able to "come home," if you know what I mean. I thought in the future if they have families and/ or partners, I wanted space to host them. Who knows if that will happen but in the meantime, after years in a tiny bungalow I'm enjoying my big house! I mean, it's not GIANT, but it's pretty spacious.
Re: the last thing you talked about, R is 10 years older than me. So. Well. I'll leave it at that.

Nance said...

That's a big pay cut, but sometimes the Intangibles do balance it out. We've always impressed that upon our sons: "Is the money worth your Happiness/Mental health, etc.?" That's important!

I love the red carpet pathway! I think every time anyone walks it, they should smile and wave to both sides as if there are scads of reporters and photographers there. Maybe even stop and pose a little. I know I would.

Gillian said...

Take care.

Jenny said...

We have also been thinking about downsizing, or actually moving out of this area- but my daughter is also in high school so we definitely want to wait. Sigh! That is a funny comment about putting you and A in different homes! Don't worry- it won't actually come to that.
I love Nance's comment about the red carpet. You'll have to wave and smile.

maya said...

Nicole--Yes, having space for all the people is important to me too. It's more likely kids/people will visit if there is room for them. (And yep--I don't like to think of numbers so much either. Hugs, hugs, hugs!!)

Nance--That's awesome!! Now I have to go back and do that!


Jenny--Best not to move in HS, I feel that way too. And thank you--I don't think it will come to that either and that they were being silly.

StephLove said...

That is a big pay cut. It's good you can stay at least long enough for Nu to graduate. Switching schools as a senior would be hard. (Though my mom had to do that because her family moved and she met my dad at the new school so it worked out for me.)

NGS said...

My husband and I live in a 4-bedroom home and sometimes it's too small for both of us and the dog and cat. LOL. I hear you, though, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the truly important things in life.

maya said...

Steph--It made me laugh to see you characterize your parents' love story as something that "worked out" for you... Very "Back to the Future" of you! :).

Engie--Haha. We use all the rooms in the house (save the kids' bedrooms) daily too!

hanging in there/hanging by a thread: a week of random things I thought about with A in the hospital

Wednesday, July 10:  Big A's healthcare team doesn't have a clear way forward, so neither do we. But I found the buttons to move his...