Sunday, February 18, 2024

some backstory... and a Boss Day

Some backstory to yesterday's poem.

Our grandmothers were first cousins, so Sunil was a distant cousin--although that doesn't matter much in the  Indian context (something that's unclear in the poem, and I should work on it). Our grandmothers were as close as sisters--closer, as they had no sisters and lived in a big joint-family mansion where they had private tutors--so they were together all the time. They were really close--they always talked about how they breastfed each other's babies so their babies would feel like siblings and think of them (their aunts) as mothers too.  

It didn't work out exactly like that. My mother would go to her aunt when she fought with her mom, but later there was some family drama (our grandmothers fell out in their sixties) and mystery (things people won't talk about). Stuff that came out as what Nicole rightly called "mixed things." Nance found the ending surprising--something else I'm working on. I was trying to express how it felt to have someone in my peer group die... like the beginning of the end. As I mentioned in a comment to StephLove, Sunil died of a heart attack, so that feels as though our bodies are going. 

Pic: It's the puppies' Boss Day! Huck and Max got new lick pads and love them. 

(It's not their actual Boss Day, but it was too bewildering for Scout and Huck when we celebrated them individually, so we picked the 18th of the month to celebrate a puppy Boss Day. Max's "smile" cracks me up.)


Nicole said...

I find the joint-family living that you speak about to be so fascinating. Imagine having a close cousin/ sibling that you could raise your children with. Sometimes I really feel the lack of closeness with my own extended family, and, depending on the day, it feels very sad. Thinking of having someone with whom to share the daily details is such a special and interesting type of relationship. I'm sorry they ended up falling out.
I have had some cousins pass away, and it is a strange thing. One of them was very young - 20ish - and he was driving drunk and killed himself. On his brother's birthday. So that is the kind of death that feels like a horrifying waste and also a tragedy for his brother.

Gillian said...

Sweet story.

StephLove said...

The backstory is very interesting and I'm glad to have it, but I think the poem held up without it.

Nance said...

I agree with StephLove. And I think you should keep the ending if it serves you.

The puppies are adorable, as usual, but capturing that smile was a triumph.

maya said...

Nicole--Wow. That story about your cousins is so sad. I'm so sorry.

Gillian--right? :)

Steph--Thank you.

Nance--Thank you. Max's smile was indeed a triumph (mostly luck though :) ).

Sarah said...

My oldest friend and I were just talking about this feeling-- the beginning of the end. We have lost classmates to drunk driving when we were kids or terrible illness when we were young, but now people are dying of normal older age things, and it's such a shock.

last day/first day

And that's a wrap on classes until August. There are exams and meetings next week and task forces that will meet through the summer and ...