Wednesday, January 04, 2023

1, 2, 3, journeys

How do you comfort someone who's lost a sibling? I had no adequate words, but I made my way over anyway bearing a tiffin box with dinner, snacks, and two funny DVDs. I found the vase in a thrift store last week, and this week matching flowers showed up for me to take to my grieving friends. I'm ashamed to say that when I was younger there were times when I'd avoid such visits. Thankfully, I've learned--mostly through people's kindness to me--how showing up is important. Life has been a long journey of learning about all the stuff that is not about me at all. 

Speaking of long journeys, I finally finished Anna Karenina. Big A, the judgmental monogamist, approved of how Tolstoy delineates the awfulness of an extra marital affair although T does it without ever resorting to moralization. I myself was heartily sick of Levin, supposedly a stand in for old Leo himself, by the end though. 

In other journeys, KB's flight out of Minneapolis was delayed by over a day, so JG has postponed our reunion lunch from today to Friday--just after my first committee meeting of the new year. That left me with a suddenly wide open day that I used for course prep, an extra long walk, an extra long soak, and extra reading time before I went to get Nu from school. It's my "Boss Day" so the extra time for indulgence was compulsory! 🙃


StephLove said...

I'm sorry for your friend's loss. I think it doesn't matter so much what you do as long as you do something.

It sounds like you put your unexpected free time to good use.

Gillian said...

Vase is nice.

Nicole said...

Just showing up is so important, and it's a lesson I have learned over my life too. I'm sorry for their loss.

maya said...

Thank you, StephLove and Nicole. I suspect some of the learning part is cultural. Growing up, visiting homes where someone died was forbidden to kids (and the proscription for adults who did were detailed and involved ritual baths--fears of tropical disease, I suspect?)... so my learning curve as an adult about being supportive and loving in times like this has been steep.

Gillina--thanks! I was pleased about that too!

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