Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Snow Days


Yesterday's snow came with a surprise--when I finally left work and got into the car to come home, I realized that some angel had cleared my windshield for me.  If I wasn't such a wimp with the weather, I'd try to pay that forward.

Today, I got a leisurely day at home and got to work out, clean the house, and wash my hair with no hard deadlines. And although that doesn't sound particularly hedonistic, it felt luxurious.

It was Big A's work holiday party today. But when the morning news predicted 8-10 inches of snow, I decided we weren't going to drive in it. Big A wanted to keep the babysitter so we could do a date-night, but I really didn't want our high-school babysitter to be driving in all this snow either.

I made the saffron shrimp linguini for dinner though, so I think everyone's mollified.

_

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Inflection



I know my footprints make
achy commas in the snow

Icy shibboleths of everywhere 
I've been, when breath catches.

I keep finding these reminders--
the plainsong of my wandering

as though to say: now just pause
'cos--no one's ever here that long.

So commas--broken signs of all
kinds: earned, separate, or set off--

Of course I've known forever how
I am guilty of love--never list me alone.


_

Monday, December 11, 2017

'Yas


Not a day goes by that I don't think of cousin PD and the other 'Yas. It could be because something reminded me to think of our house as a home rather than as a real-estate investment; or I bought myself flowers when no one else did; or I'm driving in the snow and remembering her telling me about black ice, and to go slow on NJ hills; or because I got a mouthful of something spicy that reminded me of the rasam-buvva that she hand-fed me when I was too pregnant/nauseated to feed myself; or I'm yearning for times while we watched the kids play and could conduct sotto voce discussions of family, nation, or culture for hours.

When she texted me that she was going to be close by visiting her elementary schoolmates for the weekend to celebrate turning 50 in a few months, AND that she could spend a night with us... I squealed and then called her so she could hear me.

It was everything I imagined.

_


Sunday, December 10, 2017

Forward

Around the eaves
a feathered departure

bookmarks your godhead,
your stubborn extension

of earth, home, earthliness.
It lifts me too for a moment

like the gaiety of someone
else's car music

_

Saturday, December 09, 2017

Party weekend

I went to three parties yesterday (college holiday party, international student party, fundraiser) and two parties today (student Christmas party, colleague/friend's Festivus party)

I got to drag Big A and Nu to one yesterday and one today.

I will take that as success.

_

Friday, December 08, 2017

Takes after her Mama

I mentioned over dinner 
that I'd like to see the movie

So when Nu found the book
at the school book fair,
she got it for me, and even

WRAPPED IT UP FOR CHRISTMAS!

But she was too excited 
to give it me later and insisted 
that I open it right-away :P 

_

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Vibrations

It is dawn in a dream and
my body is made of politics

nerves write these goodbyes
language breaks at my joints

water seldom returns to eyes
(though it does get in my nose)

we are afraid to admit it--
our days are ephemeral

insects chide and chatter
stars grind and grumble

_

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Surprise

Ready, heading
downstairs in a rush
Big A lifts me

into the air
as I hit the
last stair,

spins me
around spins
me around

Nu pops her frown
through the door
and is relieved

I'm not yelping
about her
morning chores.

_

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Time to go

Last night, I dreamt that I was looking over grandmother's old house by the sea. I was talking to my aunt and Big A about how it would make sense to get it (buy it?). I think we had decided to go for it until I remembered that the water from the faucets used to stain everything grey and wondered if that still happened and were there loud trains in the backyard?

The night before that, I dreamt of huge temple festival crowds. And among them, I found my mother with her friends. They were in full temple-going mode--vibrant silk saris and gem-studded jewelry and... were taking turns standing on a grate. Mom was so embarrassed to see me, but managed to hug me tight and whisper that I shouldn't tell anyone.

Both dreams were dotted with apocalyptic climate change motifs--rising seas, shimmering heat, crop failures--I blame the eco-criticism-ecofeminism class.


Is This Land is Your Land? 

Environment and Culture in the Anthropocene 

ENG 180/WGS 280


_

Monday, December 04, 2017

Inspiration


Found this on NuNu's school-issued laptop.🤓😍
(It says, "Alexander Hamilton wrote 51 papers in the span of 6 months, you can write ONE.")

_

Sunday, December 03, 2017

Atwitter

things i do not say
are prisoners

they plot revolution
in whispers

and invitations
in shadows

they talk quietly
amongst themselves

their questions long
their answers looks

asking--are you thinking
-- what are you thinking

_

Friday, December 01, 2017

Dream

I remember you sleeping
even if I was sleeping too

Same with the puppies
same with the babies

same with begging
mountains to move

same with begging
the earth to open

same with the ice
looking down on me

from the air
and the glass up there

my silence and softness
growing plump like fruit

_

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

In Theory

What will winter do to us?
Will we continue even as
the outside plants are killed
by remorseful white skin
growing where nothing else will?

_

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Shade


We've been admiring NuNu's pear 
that's so perfectly shaded.

She asks: "Have you ever shaded something? 
Did you ever learn how to shade?" 

"Now she's throwing major shade" 
her dad says.

_

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Post-Holiday Sadness

It doesn't get any easier dropping At off at college. I keep thinking it might be easier if he took the bus, but that last hour of talking and joking and listening to him DJ on the car stereo becomes too tempting at the last moment.

Also today (in the library) someone told me that they were abandoned by their mom when they were eight.

Also today (in the grocery store) someone told me that they were trying to come out to their friends and family.

I'm kind of exhausted.

_

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Fine

flashes of light 
insistent, slash 
the rear view mirror

tired, I look
for the cop car
speed-limit reminder 

but all I can see,
washing over me,
is sunset through the trees 

_



Thursday, November 09, 2017

Imprint

I am the serotinal student

clasping ideas between breaths

clamping lips around knowledge

i touch a thousand books

i read them all


-

Monday, October 23, 2017

The World Turned Upside Down

Until we saw Hamilton last year in Chicago--I hadn't really paid a lot of attention to the phenomenon. I *loved* the rap form, the function of the cast, was happy for Miranda's MacArthur Genius award... and all of that. But I was afraid that it would be a bunch of bad rhymes or some twee hagiography. So the show was such a pleasure and a relief. And now we just can't stop listening to the soundtrack all the time.

I was looking for tickets to the touring company at the Wharton Center and they seem to have very little information. It's almost funny, so that's not the reason I was in tears to "It's Quiet Uptown" after I dropped At off at college this morning.

It was tough coming home to an empty house after such a crowded weekend. The crappy weather and the drippy roof aren't helping.
_

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Fortune Chocolate Quotes

No. 1   Only everyday 
No. 2    Sure thing!

_

Monday, October 16, 2017

Hopeful/Healing

Relieved the radiologist 
didn't think she needed 
a CT scan for her wrist

_

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

SANSU SURPRISE!!

She didn't know her brother would be 
at the restaurant for her birthday dinner.

She walked in and remembers thinking:
why does this guy look so much like my nana
and why is he sitting all by himself

And then she started squealing 
and didn't stop hugging him

_

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Every morning you greet me

Welcome back, says a cluster of Bougainvillea 


_

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Homecoming (at the office)

The whole fambam in my office 
just before the parade.

_

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Busted

Sometimes the puppies and I hang out in At's room
...and we usually get busted.

_

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Change


Today
I thought I was lost on the way to work
because the light and the leaves were so different 
from yesterday



_

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

So Far Away




At had us pose for this pic 
up at Aunt R's lace on Lake Huron 
so he could put it up in his dorm. 

"Don't turn around," he called out 
as we walked up the dock, 
"don't look back."

_

Saturday, August 26, 2017

College Kid

We managed a hurried 'we-fie' with At when we dropped him off at College yesterday. 
He's bunking with his best friends from school and so excited and ready for this. 

Don't look at the crumpled up lunch napkins on the table in front of me...
I may have decided to get the crying over with over lunch 
instead of at the opening convocation 
so as to not terrify the other parents...

_

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Here and Now

It's past 2:00 a.m. and I'm about to try get some sleep for a string of errands and a coffee date with a binder sister (Z) in the morning.

It's just that I'm trying hard to eke out a few more minutes here because I just know that my dreams are going to be an apocalypse-themed torment. What with threats of "fire and fury as the world has never seen" and having read a bunch of climate change poetry for a new class prep.

If you're wondering about the best place to take cover in case of a nuclear fallout, I've got you covered.

_

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Grandparents are so brave

they'll even take naughty puppies to the bank
(Parents aren't doing so well:
Hurry home, Huck!)

_

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Cleverly Disguised

Not sure why I took this picture
he's so lovely/ we gave him that tee/
I love him

_

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Monday, July 03, 2017

I did something right

Big A took a picture 
of freezer-foraged dinner
(veggie burger/english muffin/fried egg)

_

Thursday, June 22, 2017

When a Banker Says...

that they work with families 
on Detroit's Eastside,
they deserve their own 
thank-you copy.

_

Monday, June 19, 2017

In other news:

NuNu: Mama did it all by herself!

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Looking up



NuNu helped clear a bed for the veggie garden :)

Monday, June 05, 2017

Sunday, June 04, 2017

The First Year

Living somewhere new 
is full of garden surprises.

(Rhododendron by the Front Door)
_

Thursday, June 01, 2017

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Friday, May 26, 2017

Spring Spirit


This picture makes me smile because it's so green and lovely and all the kids are outside; it makes me chuckle because A is pretending that little NuNu is heavier than the-newly-18 Atit makes me laugh out because while Huck is all excitement and tail aflutter, Scout is crouching in the background just trying to poop.


_

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Spring Term and the Loving is Easy

Scout came to class today
there was so much love
(from and for)
this baby.

_

Hamilton, Sir.

At didn't want to miss prom
so just those of us who're 
not going to college 

_

Friday, May 12, 2017

It's Kind of Silly, Really

How 
I end up 
loving every class.

Potter Park Zoo 
and then
I made them lunch

_

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Cherry Blossoms/Sakura



At used to sing a song he'd learned at school 
to Nu while she was in my belly

I like to think she perked up at the song 
when he sang it to her in the outside world

Plot Twist: When A and I attended the concert 
where the song was sung...

It sounded *nothing* like what 
we heard at home :D 

_

Friday, May 05, 2017