Thursday, February 15, 2018


After Sandyhook (Dec 14, 2012) , I kept the kids home for the next week, because I couldn't bear to drop them off at school. Then Christmas break happened, and it was the new year, and they had to go back, and I remember I kept lingering in the kindergarten hallway having random kids excitedly come up to tell me about their Christmas presents--I didn't know all of them, I just happened to be taller than them... and there. Kids are... my heart.

Anyway--the Parkland, FL shooting was yesterday and today I dropped Nu off at school as always with a quick hug and kiss and I love you... and that was that.

Even I have gotten inured to this nonsense.

And today I look at this reel of the victims, and it hits all over again.


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

First Cake

 It's chocolate and raspberry--or as she put it,
"Two iconic valentine's day flavors."

First taste of cake. I want to eat those arms and fingers too. 
(Pic courtesy Cousin N on FB)


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Mixed Intentions

Image may contain: dog
Big A: "I thought it was cute that Huckie made her own bed out of pillows. Then I realized she was probably just hoarding them to spite Scoutie."


Saturday, February 10, 2018

Junk Food and Socio-economic Class

I may be crying a little after reading how junk food has different values and meanings dependent on families' socio-economic status.

"For parents raising their kids in poverty, having to say "no" was a part of daily life. Their financial circumstances forced them to deny their children's requests — for a new pair of Nikes, say, or a trip to Disneyland — all the time. This wasn't tough for the kids alone; it also left the poor parents feeling guilty and inadequate. 
Next to all the things poor parents truly couldn't afford, junk food was something they could often say "yes" to. Poor parents told me they could almost always scrounge up a dollar to buy their kids a can of soda or a bag of chips. So when poor parents could afford to oblige such requests, they did."

Friday, February 09, 2018

In the Valley

The valley is empty
but threaded with ice

our lives have opened
like wave upon wave

I pretend I am a mother
duck, swanning placid

kids, cubs, pups, chicks
follow me automatically

through the feathered clefts
of childish hunger and snow


Thursday, February 08, 2018

Intimacy and Teens

I already ruined advertisements for my students with Jean Kilbourne's Killing Us Softly, and now I want everyone to read this story of porn educators and how they're attempting to unpack and expose the sad, porn-inspired performativity of  teenage sex. It's awful enough that we have no good sex ed, but worse that there's seemingly universal and facile access to bad porn:
"It’s not surprising, then, that some adolescents use porn as a how-to guide. In a study that Rothman carried out in 2016 of 72 high schoolers ages 16 and 17, teenagers reported that porn was their primary source for information about sex — more than friends, siblings, schools or parents."

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Nerd and Proud

Type in an author's name, and you can keep on finding others to follow. 
This must be what a rabbit hole feels like. 


Monday, February 05, 2018


Your mouth bleeds curses,
nurses wandering silences

Technology's flashing ghost
in the turn and tap of keys

skimming the round
in-line like dancers

circling like sharks
inland, inaccessible


Sunday, February 04, 2018

A Study of Men Throwing

the man throws coffee
it snakes tendrils over her
the man throws acid
it pools pits across her skin
the man throws kerosene
under his gaze, she is afire

the man throws her off (the bus)
the man throws her out (the house)
the man throws away (her phone)
the man throws down (her kids) 

the man throws a ball
the man throws a party
the man throws bombs
the man throws his ire 

the man throws
throws it all away
the man throws
the man throws
the man throws
until overthrown


Saturday, February 03, 2018

The Shape of Water

I kinda liked The Shape of Water, but At made me chortle because he had a point when he termed it "Ponyo for adults."

And a bit Alf, I might add.

Friday, February 02, 2018

Growing a Family

I’m very happy for some old neighbors/ex-colleagues/FB friends who adopted three children from the foster-care system today. We’ve known about the ongoing process, but they weren’t able to share pictures of the kids until the adoption was final (today!).

And I’m sad today, because it feels like I’ve waited all my life to adopt, and Big A is finally on board, but none of the agencies will follow up with us. I finally caved and did what I swore I wouldn’t do—called in for help from my CASA director. She’s called around and left messages; let’s see how far we go.

At least I get to take my oldest home for the weekend : )!


Thursday, February 01, 2018

Always, the Kindness of Strangers

Four classes back to back to back to back and all I wanted was to get home. First though, I needed to gas up the car. I did.

And then the car wouldn't start. The key fob just stopped working.

The temperature was in the teens (with bitter, biting winds), so I fiddled with the key fob, then scooted into the gas station looking for fob batteries (they didn’t have them) and then tried to get warm. I was piteously warming my frozen fingers on the side of the coffee maker when this woman with a gigantic, Kardashian sized ring asked me what was up. I thought she wanted me to move along. And I will forever be ashamed that I thrust my chin out mutinously, thinking mean thoughts about her, and told her I was trying to fix my key fob.

After that, she just took over. She found her reading glasses, pried the fob apart, and found some button cell batteries from old Christmas decorations, replaced the battery, checked it from the gas station window, gave me hug, and sent me on my way.

I got her name so I can take her a card and some pastries tomorrow, but it doesn’t feel like I can ever thank her enough.


Wednesday, January 31, 2018

The Schuyler Sisters

The craziest game du jour that NuNu and the other Hamilton-Nerds at school are playing. It involves the Schuyler sisters taking over the administration and sometimes results in all the characters drawn in skirts and tees. (Aaron Burr’s tee says: “Talk less; smile more.”)