just another manic Monday

This picture was shared on the college's social media, so I suppose it's ok to share. I was going to joke about looking for me on the far left in this picture... but I can actually espy myself (it helps that I'm so brown and am wearing a mask).  

No one at work said a thing about my facial piercings, which I took as a sign that people either didn't notice it or were too freaked out by it. I miss besties KB, JG, CF being at work because they would totally have blurted out questions... and it would be fun coming from them.

Long day: lots of new info and expectations for the upcoming year + some initial prep for a travel course over boxed lunches with CC.

Then I took care of my babies. Nu wanted to spend a couple of hours at the mall with a friend (I counted mall-walking as exercise today); drove to At's Chipotle to morale boost the unionizing crew with some old-fashioned conversation (all the "Union Strong!" orders I'd been placing via the app for $1.67 chips kept showing up with my name on it--unsure of that's a glitch or corporate interference); and now I'm curled up with Scout and Huck. Scout just did his happy sigh, so all is right with the world in this moment.

up! ahead!

We're back!

And that was both the last trip and the last weekend of the summer before school starts.

Fall Conference starts tomorrow, Nu goes back to school on Tuesday, my opening convocation and At's NLRB election are both on Thursday... It's quite a week, so I went ahead and booked myself a massage on Friday.

Then I can spend the weekend getting prepped/psyched for the start of term.

Pic: Nu and Big A at the Milwaukee Museum of Art.

Going West

Nu and I took the train to see Big A in Milwaukee. Their beach is lovely, and the city has a lot to offer, but I've just been such a hater all trip long because it's not home and Big A has to spend so much time here. If I were a smarter, more grateful person, I would be thankful that Milwaukee has the perfect ER research job for Big A.

Anyway... 

Big A was so excited for our visit and had arranged a full day of garden and museum visits and a fancy dinner out. But I've been so full of tears and tantrums that we only just made it to the art museum and then got carryout from Shake Shack (I got the mushroom burger) so we could go back to the apartment for some more moping. 

I'm in that terrible place where I know I'm behaving badly, but can't seem to do better. An absolute delight.

also new...

Sometime last weekend when I was taking stock of the summer (and its disappointments) I woke up one morning convinced that what would make things better would be (a) a Costco membership (b) a piercing. 

I managed to talk myself out of the Costco--I think we'd be in danger of wasting food if we bought in Costco quantities. But the feeling about the piercing didn't go away...

And so I made an appointment. When the time came, I wanted to wimp out, but Nu said I was already old and not getting any younger and if I wanted to do something I should do it now.  It was the best advice. 

(Nu also came to the appointment with me, helped me choose jewelry, and held my hand when I wanted...)

And now I have bilateral eyebrow piercings.

I like them.

Okay, this is new...

RH, an old student I've kept in touch with via FB, sent this screenshot for reference and wrote to say he's been contracted to write for a game called Wildsea and that he based an NPC (non playing character) on me. 

To say I'm grateful to be remembered is an understatement. 🥰 And then I was very moved that my character is a teacher/mentor. 😭

It was only when I attached the screenshot here and looked at the name again that I realized that the character Dorma Laspra's name is a composite made of the beginning syllables of each of my two first and two last names. 

🥰 😭 🥰 😭 🥰 😭 🥰 😭

I'm kinda crying now, in case you couldn't tell. 

s/unlit

In the midst of mounting excitement about the start of the new school year, it was a shock to hear two people who'd been at the college died unexpectedly on Monday. I didn't know either of them very well, but I knew of them; I feel their loss. 

Tall T, a student who graduated about five years ago was a basketball star and while I never saw him play, I knew him from his work in the admissions office, met him when he accompanied new students to my office, and appreciated how he helped me troubleshoot software problems more than once. I am particularly grateful for the way he tried to reassure me that these problems happen to everyone. I can see his smile as he says we shouldn't worry about it to me and the students we were assisting. I hadn't seen him in a few years, and it makes me sad that now I never will. I'm sad his smile--that used to dawn slowly, indulgently--is no longer in this world somewhere...

J worked in the janitorial department--I don't think I ever met her, but her four kids go to college here and E, her oldest, was in my environmental literature class. I remember J through the concern E had for the chemicals her mother was exposed to on a daily basis. So this is a tenuous connection, but that's how I met her--through E's words; that's how I held her in my head, my heart, and classroom. 

I'm grieving for T and J and their families. Death is so weird in its finality... and yet we're such a small community that every person presence reverberates in us all. 

Pic: Huge and droopy sunflower

only connect

so open that door 

or open this book

I open my mouth 

wait for an answer 

                           ...answer always already  

                           the knocking of my heart

                            promises folding around  

                             surrounding me like love

                                                               ...love you, for I love you 

                                                                 and I know how I love you

                                                               every one of you, I know you

                                                               can remind me of no one else 

Pic: Picnic at KV's... so many generations of women and children. I appreciated this lovely summer afternoon with Nu: destressing, snacking, reconnecting, and cuddling babies. (It was especially welcome after an all-morning, in-person meeting for our departmental re-visioning.)