Sunday, March 09, 2014
Saturday, March 08, 2014
Friday, March 07, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Cue
Filling hands decorously
with design
undone by words so porous
they're refined
Here you are, your hands
wide open
their words worried, wrong
so often
_
with design
undone by words so porous
they're refined
Here you are, your hands
wide open
their words worried, wrong
so often
_
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Tense
The river is
then has been
erased by snow
The snow was
plaint and now is
obdurate
spreads diamantine
skirts upon ground.
And no one
knows--nonsense
or treasure or
madness
_
then has been
erased by snow
The snow was
plaint and now is
obdurate
spreads diamantine
skirts upon ground.
And no one
knows--nonsense
or treasure or
madness
_
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Amends
this mouth is madness
madness
is eaten by eyes
rent by hands
rent by words
that are noise
I fold it like a kite
fly it closer to my sky
_
madness
is eaten by eyes
rent by hands
rent by words
that are noise
I fold it like a kite
fly it closer to my sky
_
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Impertinence
Our pronouns are wrong
unfashionable
collective
Our tenderness grows oddly
strong, parking
in spaces
The best one was yesterday
a decade ago
the first
Everyday another escapade
ordinary, brighter
impertinent
unfashionable
collective
Our tenderness grows oddly
strong, parking
in spaces
The best one was yesterday
a decade ago
the first
Everyday another escapade
ordinary, brighter
impertinent
Saturday, January 25, 2014
The Horror
At just finished reading Conrad's Heart of Darkness and wants to watch Apocalypse Now.
Why? Because he heard that those were the cultural artifacts that inspired a video game he loves called Spec Ops. It appears to be a first-person-shooter game, but At assures me there are more peaceful ways to play the game. We had a long car-conversation once about "it teaches that killing people is wrong" (At) and "you didn't already know killing people is wrong?" (me).
Whatever. I've assigned the Conrad to college students multiple times to complaints of "too hard to read." So currently, I'm a proud mama to a 14-year-old (less-than-stellar report card notwithstanding).
_
Why? Because he heard that those were the cultural artifacts that inspired a video game he loves called Spec Ops. It appears to be a first-person-shooter game, but At assures me there are more peaceful ways to play the game. We had a long car-conversation once about "it teaches that killing people is wrong" (At) and "you didn't already know killing people is wrong?" (me).
Whatever. I've assigned the Conrad to college students multiple times to complaints of "too hard to read." So currently, I'm a proud mama to a 14-year-old (less-than-stellar report card notwithstanding).
_
Friday, January 24, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Traffic Controller (Dinner Prep Time)
Rapt. Playing "Rush Hour."
This set is almost ten years old,
and initially used to be At's.
(The Ya-Yas gave it to him.)
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
In the Compost
Corpses wait
orange peel
egg shells
sliver of skin
hothouse scraps
Leavings
iced over
in furrows
hatch plans,
sharpening
The first
green spear
of spring,
terrifying
with constancy
_
orange peel
egg shells
sliver of skin
hothouse scraps
iced over
in furrows
hatch plans,
sharpening
The first
green spear
of spring,
terrifying
with constancy
_
Friday, January 17, 2014
Snow Secret
The snow like a balm
blanketing, quieting
wanting
An incomplete dragon
intermittent, young
uncertain
Raising itself as if
on a leash
to elegy
_______________
In memory of S.M. (1996-2014)
[From a memory of the beginning of Silas Marner.]
_
blanketing, quieting
wanting
An incomplete dragon
intermittent, young
uncertain
Raising itself as if
on a leash
to elegy
_______________
In memory of S.M. (1996-2014)
[From a memory of the beginning of Silas Marner.]
_
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Thursday, January 09, 2014
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
"Summarizing"
On the way back from At's band concert we're discussing movies we'd like to watch over the Holiday break and Big A, newly 40, claims that Saige Paints the Sky, The American Girl Movie, is his pick.
It's not. He's doing it to make At and me giggle.
But Nu watched it twice and loves it.
So she decides to tell us the story.
+
+
+
+
Five minutes later; she finishes.
And then makes everyone in the car giggle again when she announces that--sadly, she had to leave out many details.
It can't be easy being the youngest.
_
It's not. He's doing it to make At and me giggle.
But Nu watched it twice and loves it.
So she decides to tell us the story.
+
+
+
+
Five minutes later; she finishes.
And then makes everyone in the car giggle again when she announces that--sadly, she had to leave out many details.
It can't be easy being the youngest.
_
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Four Hours Before Newtown
Camille Dodero's compassionate account of a "suspected school shooter" What Kind of Monster Wants to Shoot Up His School.
(Made me miss doing CASA work.)
_
(Made me miss doing CASA work.)
_
Saturday, December 14, 2013
It's been a Year...
There hasn't been a single day I haven't thought about those kids, those teachers, those parents, those kids.
A list of 194 children who've died since then in Mother Jones.
And a list of mass shootings in 2013 on Reddit.
It has to get better in 2014.
-
A list of 194 children who've died since then in Mother Jones.
And a list of mass shootings in 2013 on Reddit.
It has to get better in 2014.
-
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
New Nu Notes
1. [While helping me make dinner]
My best friend is Michael. His name's also Letrell. He said that his favorite color is pink. He said sometimes people laugh when he says that. He said I could laugh too if I wanted to. But I didn't. I think he's lucky to have a strong friend like me. I'm going to eat a good dinner so I can always protect him. (Michael is half the size of Nu.)
2. [When I walked through the door; sitting me down in the living room]
Mama, if you're not there, I'm not there. [?] I want you to eat whole meals, [?] sleep well, and get lots of treats so you'll be happy and healthy.
3. [Dinner with grandparents. At had just admitted that at a "Power of the Pen" sleepover at school, he had slept right through a fire alarm. Most of us at the table laughed at him. Fresh from a fire drill at school, Nu clutched her brother's arm tightly, then this in a voice wobbly with tears.]
Guys, [Mom and Dad] I know I said I'd live with you forever, but I'm going to live with Nana forever. He needs me to help him wake up if the fire alarm goes off.
4. [Communing with Scout...]
_
My best friend is Michael. His name's also Letrell. He said that his favorite color is pink. He said sometimes people laugh when he says that. He said I could laugh too if I wanted to. But I didn't. I think he's lucky to have a strong friend like me. I'm going to eat a good dinner so I can always protect him. (Michael is half the size of Nu.)
2. [When I walked through the door; sitting me down in the living room]
Mama, if you're not there, I'm not there. [?] I want you to eat whole meals, [?] sleep well, and get lots of treats so you'll be happy and healthy.
3. [Dinner with grandparents. At had just admitted that at a "Power of the Pen" sleepover at school, he had slept right through a fire alarm. Most of us at the table laughed at him. Fresh from a fire drill at school, Nu clutched her brother's arm tightly, then this in a voice wobbly with tears.]
Guys, [Mom and Dad] I know I said I'd live with you forever, but I'm going to live with Nana forever. He needs me to help him wake up if the fire alarm goes off.
4. [Communing with Scout...]
Look: I'm a "huppy" (half human; half puppy).
_
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
The Last 12 Hours
Groggy from a long chat that ended after 2:00 a.m. A chat that started with Big A awake and frustrated at being awake since he has to work till at least midnight today.
A rendition of "Big Dogs Don't Cry" didn't help, so I started talking about Virginia Woolf and Martha Nussbaum. (What? It puts students to sleep?)
Meanwhile:
Trying not to think of how it was the anniversary of him smashing his wrist while skiing.
Skirting the topic of why on earth does he have to start work at 7:00 a.m. doing stuff as part of an additional job he interviewed for in Feb and isn't being compensated for in any way.
Finding out that fake yawns can't make your companions sleepy.
Thinking about Nu saying "people look at me weird"--which is worrying whether it's real or imagined.
Finding out we were talking too loudly for Scout who sighed at us loudly and went to At's room for the rest of the night.
Then I woke up a little later because At was riffling through all his things because he couldn't remember where he put his inhaler and he had been reading about the 12-year-old in Canada who died at school without his inhaler before bed.
And students in and out all day, jittery with finals panic and juggling everything from cancer to toddlers.
_
A rendition of "Big Dogs Don't Cry" didn't help, so I started talking about Virginia Woolf and Martha Nussbaum. (What? It puts students to sleep?)
Meanwhile:
Trying not to think of how it was the anniversary of him smashing his wrist while skiing.
Skirting the topic of why on earth does he have to start work at 7:00 a.m. doing stuff as part of an additional job he interviewed for in Feb and isn't being compensated for in any way.
Finding out that fake yawns can't make your companions sleepy.
Thinking about Nu saying "people look at me weird"--which is worrying whether it's real or imagined.
Finding out we were talking too loudly for Scout who sighed at us loudly and went to At's room for the rest of the night.
Then I woke up a little later because At was riffling through all his things because he couldn't remember where he put his inhaler and he had been reading about the 12-year-old in Canada who died at school without his inhaler before bed.
And students in and out all day, jittery with finals panic and juggling everything from cancer to toddlers.
_
Monday, December 09, 2013
Schooled
I was just browsing Shakespeare's Sister on a break and literally had my life interpreted for me.
In an article about high-heels, Melissa McEwan explains that for fat women, heels (which have been criticized by some feminists as a form of self harm) may seem a necessary defense:
And then the part that changes the way I count my life. Melissa McEwan continues:
I am speaking to my own experience here, but many women with other marginalized bodies have the same experience. Women of color, trans* women, women with disabilities, and other marginalized classes of women may strongly relate to the idea of having to be "put together" in order to be treated as human beings.
That would totally explain why after years of dressing in jeans and homespun tunics and putting a lot of thought into looking like I didn't care how I looked in India, I've become--after years of living in the West--consumed by fashion. Because looking like a vagabond* is cute only if people know that you're playing and know you're not really one.
*(as the nuns at my private school may have said)
_
In an article about high-heels, Melissa McEwan explains that for fat women, heels (which have been criticized by some feminists as a form of self harm) may seem a necessary defense:
Fat women have all kinds of narratives about sloppiness, laziness, dirtiness to overcome. Sometimes heels are a crucial part of looking "put together" in a way that sufficiently convinces people that we care about ourselves, that manages to counteract pervasive cultural narratives that fat people don't care about ourselves… I get treated completely differently at a $20 hair salon if I'm dressed up or dressed down. Two totally different experiences. I get treated differently at the doctor's office, and at the emergency room. I can't go to the ER in sweatpants, because I'll get shittier treatment. In an emergency, I have to worry if I am dressed up enough to prove that I deserve respect and care.
All round horrible. Points I completely empathize with without having experienced them myself. (Or so I think.)And then the part that changes the way I count my life. Melissa McEwan continues:
I am speaking to my own experience here, but many women with other marginalized bodies have the same experience. Women of color, trans* women, women with disabilities, and other marginalized classes of women may strongly relate to the idea of having to be "put together" in order to be treated as human beings.
That would totally explain why after years of dressing in jeans and homespun tunics and putting a lot of thought into looking like I didn't care how I looked in India, I've become--after years of living in the West--consumed by fashion. Because looking like a vagabond* is cute only if people know that you're playing and know you're not really one.
*(as the nuns at my private school may have said)
_
Sunday, December 08, 2013
Friday, December 06, 2013
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Take that, Goldieblox!
Read this article at Shakespeare's Sister if you want a respectful, comprehensive read about why Goldieblox is more of the same old in new pinkified packaging. The comments are wonderful too!
And in that spirit, here's something the kids 6 (F) and 14 (M) made this morning.
And in that spirit, here's something the kids 6 (F) and 14 (M) made this morning.
At (L); Nu (R)
_
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Briefly
Skipping from fire to fear
the colors beyond mathematics
From innocence to indifference
telluric, ludic, dead like this
_
the colors beyond mathematics
From innocence to indifference
telluric, ludic, dead like this
_
Sunday, November 17, 2013
A Kind of Rhythm
Highrise
Skyscrapers thrust through my heart
hope rising floor
by floor
Freefall
Then an ocean, breaking every day
retreat, put myself
back together
_
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Knowing What to Say
Do you choke on the cold
let it cut you open
Do you use love
as a lasso
Romance experience
Experience romance
I build it
by taking it apart
smothered bruised
and seething like music
_
let it cut you open
Do you use love
as a lasso
Romance experience
Experience romance
I build it
by taking it apart
smothered bruised
and seething like music
_
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Prayer in the Storm
Today is
an avalanche
The night is
upset desert
packed light
snack light
Bring
morning
Sing
morning
by light
or not night
_
Monday, November 11, 2013
Improvising
My heart operates on battery.
Yes, you can read it two ways;
neither of them will make sense.
Somedays, you are my soul and
it's your ear I want to hug most.
(A testament--not much better.)
Although, your hands--do save me.
Sometimes their higher purpose is
to idly hold my tired, dripping face.
Many thousand feet above us, perhaps
stars dance ever slowly, unconcerned
their void filled with winking emoticons.
_
Yes, you can read it two ways;
neither of them will make sense.
Somedays, you are my soul and
it's your ear I want to hug most.
(A testament--not much better.)
Although, your hands--do save me.
Sometimes their higher purpose is
to idly hold my tired, dripping face.
Many thousand feet above us, perhaps
stars dance ever slowly, unconcerned
their void filled with winking emoticons.
_
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Lest I Forget
I don't speak to our dead everyday
even today, I'm just... just listening.
Listening for the way they whistle.
Mostly the dead never disappear
I can sweep up the dust and papers
and know they never appear either
Still the weight of their stare lingers
on my eyes, in smiles, the limit where
my breath slices my lungs like apples
And my freedom, this pulse I carry.
I close my eyes, every time the last
Holding in glances, instead of arms
_
even today, I'm just... just listening.
Listening for the way they whistle.
Mostly the dead never disappear
I can sweep up the dust and papers
and know they never appear either
Still the weight of their stare lingers
on my eyes, in smiles, the limit where
my breath slices my lungs like apples
And my freedom, this pulse I carry.
I close my eyes, every time the last
Holding in glances, instead of arms
_
Saturday, November 09, 2013
Friday, November 08, 2013
Monday, November 04, 2013
Location
Turning the stars with spatula arms
skies spill stars and mosquitoes
thunder like sprays of flowers
like dead deer, typewriters
hinting like a children's book
foretelling surprises, defeats.
Darkness is the little treat
lying in the womb
I wonder what it means
to share: I'm here
Yet know it means
something to you
in the slow interior
of your mood
skies spill stars and mosquitoes
thunder like sprays of flowers
like dead deer, typewriters
hinting like a children's book
foretelling surprises, defeats.
Darkness is the little treat
lying in the womb
I wonder what it means
to share: I'm here
Yet know it means
something to you
in the slow interior
of your mood
Sunday, November 03, 2013
Saturday, November 02, 2013
Friday, November 01, 2013
Home truths
Have been binge-watching Homeland over the past two days--but only because of a cold that ironically relieved me from having to obsess about writing and grading that needs to be done.
Four home truths of importance to no one but me:
Four home truths of importance to no one but me:
- Binge-watching is the only way A and I have ever watched the show.
- And almost as frequently we're falling asleep or talking and losing track. But we've never rewound any episode. Invariably, we're like "Eh--we'll figure it out in the recap of the next episode."
- Carrie's bipolarity almost makes it difficult to watch because it feels so intrusive--kinda of meta considering she's CIA and the stuff about the NSA and our private lives and all of that.
- But if I'm being completely honest, the main reason I like the show is because it gives me a chance to hear A's moniker for the Brody character--"Ginger Bin Laden." It's not particularly clever, but to hear the ginger-haired A say it in his scoffingly supercilious tone makes me giggle like I'm in middle school every single time.
_
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Boo! (Or, My Boos)
Posing (in order of height):
A little vampire,
Louis from Left for Dead,
and a guest--Glitterstim from Star Wars.
Not Posing:
all of the above +
Scout as a medieval jouster's trusty steed.
(That puppy just loves his big brother.)
_
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Safekeeping
Our paired vows
are ever air, unclear
folded in English
prickling with desire
shouting loud of love
candidates for fights
we know no one wins
entranced--not thinking at all.
But all day gather every thing
and thought, even ones tiny as almonds
and bittersweet, for the hell of it
to share after you've brushed
your teeth to shining at 3 a.m.
and our wishes surge huge
flapping around us, fly us
frail, beautiful with sleep.
_
are ever air, unclear
folded in English
prickling with desire
shouting loud of love
candidates for fights
we know no one wins
entranced--not thinking at all.
and thought, even ones tiny as almonds
and bittersweet, for the hell of it
to share after you've brushed
your teeth to shining at 3 a.m.
and our wishes surge huge
flapping around us, fly us
frail, beautiful with sleep.
_
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Fear
Because of my insistence on
making monsters in the dark
they grow strong enough
to come for me in daylight
Their laughter running
bloody around the room
as I run around
chewing through ropes
that are all mine, mine.
Even light is useless
and the small blessings
bearing cacti like cake
I must survive
in wasting life
in the after life
_
making monsters in the dark
they grow strong enough
to come for me in daylight
Their laughter running
bloody around the room
as I run around
chewing through ropes
that are all mine, mine.
Even light is useless
and the small blessings
bearing cacti like cake
I must survive
in wasting life
in the after life
_
Friday, October 25, 2013
Repentance
today's possibilities halve
carved by rain
cities are divided by winter
wondering, stoic
the grass hardens to ice
without answers
the crash--it is coming
ornate and faithless
won't stop until it explodes,
blooming like day
_
carved by rain
cities are divided by winter
wondering, stoic
the grass hardens to ice
without answers
the crash--it is coming
ornate and faithless
won't stop until it explodes,
blooming like day
_
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
In which I discover that I am a good Hindu girl after all...
I'm absent-mindedly humming along to the new mumbly masterpiece by Kings of Leon in the car.
And also: smiling.
At looks slightly horrified and asks me, "You know it's about suicide, right?"
What? Wait; you mean they're not talking about taking one in the temple... Oh.
_
And also: smiling.
At looks slightly horrified and asks me, "You know it's about suicide, right?"
What? Wait; you mean they're not talking about taking one in the temple... Oh.
_
Monday, October 21, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
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Six for Saturday
1) Drama in the morning! Nu and Max discovered some grey, eyeless, blobby newborns by the picnic table on their morning walk. We googled to ...
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Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford. _
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I have the feeling that I’m going to succumb to the season and put out a list of resolutions soon. Just wanted to establish this heads up th...
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At had us pose for this pic up at Aunt R's place on Lake Huron so he could put it up in his dorm. "Don't tur...