abecedarian for 2021

                           OR

Anyway, innocence is a thing I overcome

By becoming a small offering of silence, 

Certain so many things never end at all.  

Destiny--these paths forking to multiply

Erupts into our endings and beginnings

Frames all the lessons I just won't heed

Unfolding in tedious, untidy symmetry

up and down

So many of my Lansing/MSU friends have started using this screenshot as their profile picture, so Nu and I had to watch Don't Look Up, which is the usual Adam McKay genius with many, many moments of cringe and chuckles. It's kind of an allegory for climate change, but works great as a read on the pandemic too. 

Speaking of which, Big A felt a bit symptomatic and we've quarantined him. We tried to order home tests, but of course nothing's readily available. I asked around, and the lovely SH who was saving some for the baby shower let me have a couple. 

He tested negative, but perhaps it's too early? I mean does one have to wait a while? This feels like taking a pregnancy test the day after sex.

post-jolly

Still coming down from Christmas jollities, TBH. 

A couple of Boxing Day visits, but Nu felt a bit stretched thin, so we canceled another visit and headed home to cuddle up with puppies and veg in pajamas. 

I'm calling this Christmas a success. There was a moment on Christmas Eve, when the kids were poking holes in the books (On Tyranny Graphic Edition) I meant to send them to bed with, when I panicked hard about what to do if they didn't like any gifts the next day. But things were Hallmark-perfect on Christmas; all is well.

As I shared with people at Zoom UU this morning, Christmas with an adult child is an evolving celebration. I've been taking notes on how other people are navigating change, and my favorite one is where people go off to some place sunny--I can see that being Big A and me someday. 

Right now though, I'm off to watch the last ever ep of Insecure, which I've been hoarding as my secret Boxing Day treat.

jolly

 from busy beginning 

to messy end

the night before

I mean... 'tis the season and all, but I wasn't expecting At to look so much like Jesus...

Dinner was later than our usual time because At was delayed at work, but we got in some new pajamas and books to read in bed before goodnights. 

No candlelight service this year, not even a luminaria drive, but hey--Nu and At and Scout and Huck have matching togs! I'll try to get a picture of all four tomorrow.

morning lesson

For L W-B 

the city is seated here... erratic 

along our teacher chatter

waving in delight

we find ourselves amidst magic

winterberries so ripe they 

must surely hurt--inside

alert and hidden and still as panic

one bird ruby as berries

another dun as boughs

play by themselves like... music

to complete the morning 

to see us whole

mama doesn't raise scabs

 

I mean...

 we do have 

something 

of a history... 

(The poem in the picture is Lana Dragonfly's 

"Boss made a dollar/grandad made a dime.")