Still

 Still here, still carrying on. Out with L & T today, but I was mostly quiet. Big A is usually my comforter-in-chief, so the part that's really difficult for me right now is not being able to be held until we've chatted our way through things.

Already hotels--and even my college--have been offering rooms to hospital workers who think they might be at risk of infecting their families. This seems like the tip of that eventuality.

The Weight

This picture accompanied that awful story about India's sudden 21-day lockdown and the thousands of migrant workers who had to set off on foot for their "homes" hundreds of miles away as public transport had been halted.

And I look at that small child (center, front) carrying the toddler nearly half her size, and I look at the instinctive half-smile of the child carrying the large sack on his head, and I don't even know what to do.

Where are they going? Where are we going? What can I do? Everything feels really *heavy* right now.

Today (in the pandemic)

MSU Perennial Gardens

I had become a book
that then became a bird
when I perched in this birch,
tumbling kisses into our earth

Excuse me, Miss--what is social distancing?

Just a bit of silliness from our walk today.


I needed it so much!

Things people have posted about the pandemic that have bugged me (no pun intended)

serenity now!
(MSU Healing Gardens walk with L yesterday)

Corona and COVID-19 jokes or names e.g. "Corona Times," Corona Hug," "COVIDEO," etc.

People are dying, my Big A is on the front-lines here, I didn't get to even end the semester properly with my students, and I'm not in the mood for your stoopid jokes.

(Never mind that I made similar jokes a week ago and the kids still do.)

Relief that it doesn't affect people who are healthy/young/don't have underlying conditions. 
I know and love too many people in each of those categories and I can't believe you're saying it out loud where people who are at risk can hear you.
(Never mind that the thought has crossed my mind too, and I'm grateful I'm not at additional risk.)

Praise for the slower pace of life
Why the heck did it take a global pandemic for you to get in touch with yourself/read/craft/enjoy music and art/spend time with your kids?
(Don't mind me, I'm just grumpy that all this time I love, love getting with the kids is offset by all the time I'm not getting with Big A.)

Happiness about the recovering earth: dolphins in Venice, drunk elephants in China, whales in New York, all that.
Ok, that is actually so cute.
(Even if it appears to be all fake.)

Each one reach one

 

(The lectures I got via FB messenger on how this was a government-instigated distraction were valid, as are the considerations that my parents are retired, in the danger zone age-wise, and genuine about their concern and support for healthcare workers. On we go!)

Big Girl

One of our busiest hikes at Harris Nature Center today--my four kids, L&T; B&L, V&C, plus CF and VC and JS and, and...

I've been feeling... sad is the best way to describe it. And as the human kids traveled up and down the hike group chatting away, I brought up the rear with just the puppy kids, giving myself permission to be alone for a while.

Back home, we made a pantry-sourced, vaguely Thai-inspired soup with sweet potatoes, beans, veggies, lemongrass, ginger, basil, and coconut milk, and then settled in to finish watching the Gerwig adaptation of Little Women after dinner with Big A.

Ever since I won a copy of LW in fourth grade, I've steadily read most of Alcott's novels, contributed to the Alcott encyclopedia in grad school, and generally adore her--that I loved this adaptation with its duplex ending so much means something.

The kids had already seen it with the grands in OH when it first came out, and I found it so sweet the way they watched my reaction as they re-watched the movie with me. Also, they think it's hilarious to call it "Big Girls."