Here We Go Again

I took this picture just after I dropped Nu off at "The Owl Logs" and turned around for one quick picture yesterday.

I had a ton of stuff planned for this week: writing dates, hangs outs, planning a party in our old house with S, and on and on.... But I haven't been in this town by myself ever. And everywhere there are reminders of the babies when they were babies--schools, childcare, parks... and aaaaarrrgghh. I can't stand it.



A ton of super-emo texts to Big A last night and I'm headed back to Lansing today where I can baby the puppies and At and Big A (whose Boss Day it is!).

I-75, here we go again...

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And Off We Go!

Nu's all checked in for Eco-Camp and reaaaallllly ready for me to leave :)


















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Baby Birds

These wild turkeys and turkey chicks have been wandering through the place every morning. Turkey parents seem way more relaxed than duckling parents, FWIW.

Out on the front porch, I was surprised that a hanging basket was faring so poorly until I saw a parent bird transfer a wiggly worm from its beak to its baby's, and their nest is right in that planter!  I've seen this scene on film so many time, but never from two feet away... I don't think?



And in other baby bird news, Nu and I will road-trip over to Yellow Springs all by ourselves, spend the night at MIL's. Then Nu's off to Eco-Camp for the rest of the week, and I will be doing all the YS things with old friends...

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Planetary Twins

The Telling

It's like we are hoarding
their journeys, songs, stories
their trauma alone, icy, burning

It is in the dripping of pain
from the empty sky, empty day,
the scrim of our red, weeping hearts

What rends us, is the vatic cry
of all the children calling, calling,
calling our names, even as we sleep

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In the Light

I mean there are things drowning in my EYEballs on the regular,
my skin circles me as I shed, my face turns toward me, expectantly
listening as my voice--out there--somewhere, fizzes like a walkie-talkie.

No one is sure where we are anymore, and if they are, we yell "fake! fake"
until they turn and blip away. It is an autumn morning inside a beautiful painting
drunk on beauty, high on drugs, wandering around in something someone made up.

Sometimes our laughter or tears escape us slowly, and we try to urge them on:
be free, be free of us! You can do it! Then life feels like a summer afternoon--so very
long, all about the waiting, words breathing themselves to life--trying to find their source.

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Reflections

L indulgently pauses on hikes to let me take pictures because I say I will need these beloved summer sights to get through winter. 

This week is all about basic simple accomplishments--like our movie hat trick--three movies in as many days. We saw Toy Story IV (awww!), SpiderMan: Far From Home (YAY!!), and--while Nu was at her sleepover--Midsommar (Bleccchh!)

I get to meet L again today for lunch when I get another chance to say goodbye to Y before she heads home to Cuba.

Also, I am behind on all the things I need to finish at work and I will need to at least start working on those things if I want to stop waking up in the dark filled with dread.

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