calm

I walked with L; went to the farmers' market with BS; worked in the garden; did some menu planning; hung out with the Big, Li'l, and Baby As; took a nap with Scout and Huck; chatted/talked/texted/group-texted to family and friends; and did not get a single work email.

the walking cure

(for K.B.)

We haven't seen each other in weeks

we're to go on a walk

I expected a ladylike turn on campus

but here you are 

in sneakers, leading an active puppy 

so we end up 

wending our way to Luce Road where

we remember

how our current high schoolers were tiny

preschoolers

whose peanut allergies then seemed 

to riddle absence--

are now surviving, becoming new people

with "hot dates"

imagining themselves un-endangered 

have new names 

in today's succulence, there is rain

but also umbrellas

there are mosquito bites that bead 

my arms like biceps 

words hang between us like roots

seeking new growth

you guide each signal that tumbles out 

kindly, grace-fully

we're filling out equations of sympathy 

on each side  

even in all that happens to interrupt us

because somehow

it seems, you believe in my goodness

as I trust in yours--

oh, how are we such miracles, friend--

finding us in this world

Pic: KB, W, and bike-path friends in Alma.

sonnet on a commute

the road is a ribbon feeding on itself 

a dream snake

the car is an empty room but for me

the sun glares back 

sultry beyond windows and stealthy  

in the soupy day

I'm wondering if radios will play on 

at the end of the world

as I watch my future burning like fuel 

past lonely road kill

the road keeps coming, a stream of poison

being sucked out of me

my family knows my day from my absence

I pick up the distance and go 

surprises

On an early morning walk with L, we found these lotuses blooming out of the sludge and rain water. No one seemed to have refilled the lotus pond at the horticultural gardens, but here they were anyway.

At the end of the day, I found myself in the unprecedented and awkward position of having been suggested/nominated for three different service positions.

random

I have no idea why I took this picture of our shadows (Big A and me) yesterday, but I like that my shadow looks vaguely like a mermaid's.

I've tried not to dwell on the news (abortion bans, voting suppressions, Afghanistan, rising rates of Covid) this week in favor of focussing on being the best teacher and parent I can be.

No updates on how that's going yet.

Almost all caught up on admin and to-dos for a bunch of side gigs (CASA, Jaggery, NWSA, and SAWNET) and feeling some relief from that.

Onward.

I've framed summer

 

intense

<< Nu's sketch book project is complete. And it's intense and detailed. I love every element of it. My not-so-little emo punk has been a fan of rats their entire life, I think. The MCR fandom is more recent.

*

I got the kind of day in the garden I'd hoped for all summer--just weeding, de-scumming the pond, puttering. Scout was (as usual) the only baby who kept me company.💗 Got some neater paths and tons of burrs and mosquito bites to show for my labor.

*

Monitored the Evite for next week's celebration, and finalized the food and setup. I wish everyone would hurry up and RSVP! I want to move on to the next stage of prep!

farewell summer 2021

This summer had teeth like mosquitoes 
flush with hail and all-day rain

I wave goodbye to this 

all summer long, the heavy air settled

into my narrow body, caught me 

out of breath every time 

a decrescendo of repeat, mute, rewind

until my mind is white noise

my heart half silence

and my hands sail safely to my sides

opening, undone--bones plummet

in percussive emphasis

You know what...

I think I've taken on too much this year. At the end of this first week back, I'm deeply depleted and exhausted.

Pic: Late evening walk with Big A. The river was peaceful and lovely, but when one walks with Big A and his Apple watch, there's no tarrying.

another day

why am I here bitten, forgotten 

arraigning a legacy of crazy

with remembrances

where my body and yours are

flattened by blank screens

and seen everywhere

why am I here, I wish you 

well, wish you could

just tell me

what will I not hear, this time--

more problems, every time--

no problem

I say--but there were always 

problems and prizes--

with surprises

I spy

 

sibling rivalry