Wednesday, September 08, 2021

surprises


On an early morning walk with L, we found these lotuses blooming out of the sludge and rain water. No one seemed to have refilled the lotus pond at the horticultural gardens, but here they were anyway.

At the end of the day, I found myself in the unprecedented and awkward position of having been suggested/nominated for three different service positions.

Tuesday, September 07, 2021

random




I have no idea why I took this picture of our shadows (Big A and me) yesterday, but I like that my shadow looks vaguely like a mermaid's.

I've tried not to dwell on the news (abortion bans, voting suppressions, Afghanistan, rising rates of Covid) this week in favor of focussing on being the best teacher and parent I can be.

No updates on how that's going yet.

Almost all caught up on admin and to-dos for a bunch of side gigs (CASA, Jaggery, NWSA, and SAWNET) and feeling some relief from that.

Onward.

Sunday, September 05, 2021

intense




<< Nu's sketch book project is complete. And it's intense and detailed. I love every element of it. My not-so-little emo punk has been a fan of rats their entire life, I think. The MCR fandom is more recent.
*
I got the kind of day in the garden I'd hoped for all summer--just weeding, de-scumming the pond, puttering. Scout was (as usual) the only baby who kept me company.💗 Got some neater paths and tons of burrs and mosquito bites to show for my labor.
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Monitored the Evite for next week's celebration, and finalized the food and setup. I wish everyone would hurry up and RSVP! I want to move on to the next stage of prep!


Saturday, September 04, 2021

farewell summer 2021


This summer had teeth like mosquitoes 
flush with hail and all-day rain
I wave goodbye to this 

all summer long, the heavy air settled
into my narrow body, caught me 
out of breath every time 

a decrescendo of repeat, mute, rewind
until my mind is white noise
my heart half silence

and my hands sail safely to my sides
opening, undone--bones plummet
in percussive emphasis



Friday, September 03, 2021

You know what...



I think I've taken on too much this year. At the end of this first week back, I'm deeply depleted and exhausted.


Pic: Late evening walk with Big A. The river was peaceful and lovely, but when one walks with Big A and his Apple watch, there's no tarrying.

Thursday, September 02, 2021

another day

why am I here bitten, forgotten 
arraigning a legacy of crazy
with remembrances

where my body and yours are
flattened by blank screens
and seen everywhere

why am I here, I wish you 
well, wish you could
just tell me

what will I not hear, this time--
more problems, every time--
no problem

I say--but there were always 
problems and prizes--
with surprises


Tuesday, August 31, 2021

birthdays and first days


It's my grandmother's birthday today, so this picture of her just before she got married at 16 has been doing the rounds on cousins' chat. As has something I wrote long ago.

First day of classes today... I panicked hard yesterday, despite having taught in person all of last year. But the usual combination of over prepping and the endorphin-adrenalin rush of being in front of a class kicked in and all was well. Finished up work with a small reception at the president's house for being on a search committee that met all summer long.

When I got home, Big A was napping ahead of a work-night, At was off canvassing, Nu was in the basement knuckle-deep in a paint project for a class. So I grabbed my Culver's dinner from L's fundraiser for Peacequest, queued up some Felicity on ye olde laptop, and ate with Scout and Huck for company. 

A bit of an anticlimactic end to the day, TBH. 


Monday, August 30, 2021

check-in

I video chatted dad for his birthday last night (by myself, it was already morning in Bangalore) and this morning (with the rest of the fam). Video calls are better than audio-only calls, because it's easier for dad to understand what we're saying when there's visual context. I wish I could have been there. I miss my parents.

<<<Amma sent me this picture of a long ago beach day--I guess the beach has always been a happy place for me. When I showed this picture to At and Nu, they chortled at tiny me. One of them claimed: "It's like you took your face and put it on a child's body." I mean, I was a child once.

It's EM's birthday too (just goes to show how astrology doesn't work as she's nothing like my dad!) and BS's first day as a prof. so I took them cake to sweeten their special days.

The rest of the day has been little fires and email fire-fighting and finishing up final edits and diagnostics... classes start tomorrow! I'm my usual mixture of yikes+yippee.

Sunday, August 29, 2021

a loss

 



<<This snarky joke was made by a person I admired when they got Covid a week ago. This in itself was surprising as they were vaccinated, advocated for masks, and seemed so careful. 

I am in major shock from hearing that they succumbed to Covid yesterday. State lines seemed distance enough... not sure how to handle this eternal distance. 

RIP, amazing one

never a dull moment

I had looked forward to today--on the family calendar as a college orientation day for Nu. But when we got to orientation, kids and families...