Planetary Twins

The Telling

It's like we are hoarding
their journeys, songs, stories
their trauma alone, icy, burning

It is in the dripping of pain
from the empty sky, empty day,
the scrim of our red, weeping hearts

What rends us, is the vatic cry
of all the children calling, calling,
calling our names, even as we sleep

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In the Light

I mean there are things drowning in my EYEballs on the regular,
my skin circles me as I shed, my face turns toward me, expectantly
listening as my voice--out there--somewhere, fizzes like a walkie-talkie.

No one is sure where we are anymore, and if they are, we yell "fake! fake"
until they turn and blip away. It is an autumn morning inside a beautiful painting
drunk on beauty, high on drugs, wandering around in something someone made up.

Sometimes our laughter or tears escape us slowly, and we try to urge them on:
be free, be free of us! You can do it! Then life feels like a summer afternoon--so very
long, all about the waiting, words breathing themselves to life--trying to find their source.

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Reflections

L indulgently pauses on hikes to let me take pictures because I say I will need these beloved summer sights to get through winter. 

This week is all about basic simple accomplishments--like our movie hat trick--three movies in as many days. We saw Toy Story IV (awww!), SpiderMan: Far From Home (YAY!!), and--while Nu was at her sleepover--Midsommar (Bleccchh!)

I get to meet L again today for lunch when I get another chance to say goodbye to Y before she heads home to Cuba.

Also, I am behind on all the things I need to finish at work and I will need to at least start working on those things if I want to stop waking up in the dark filled with dread.

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Electrifying

All electric, 

capable of getting me to work 

and back on a single charge.  

This morning, 

even before the first cup of tea, 

I went to peek at this hardworking baby.

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First "Real" Sleepover

Nu's had a bunch of friends over for sleepovers and that includes her friends in addition to cousins, aunts, me, etc.

But she'd never been away for one.

While I drove us up to Alma in the wake 48+ hours of anticipatory pre-sleepover squeals and pogo-jumping, she kept insisting it was her "first real sleepover."

Pic from C and J who hosted.
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It's Time

I applied for supplementary teaching at MSU.

I've asked three friends/colleagues for recs.

I've scheduled the interviews for  next week.

I'll check out my interview clothes this weekend.







#MSURiverwalk

Summertime

The gardens today... were just breathtaking. I'm trying to remember what else I did today and am drawing a blank.

Summer is delicious.

And also, the calendar reminds me that we've entered the second half of the year now.

#MSURadiologyGardnes





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Cancel Culture

It's 7:09 and all three of my evening events have been canceled. Book club (The Refrigerator Monologues) got canceled because clubbers' IUDs, heat rash, heat, travel, book just ok, etc.

Then I was supposed to go to music practice and that got canceled because some other singers were stuck in traffic.

And then we made plans to go to see Toy Story IV but our cars were too full of junk (Big A--mountain bike; me--At's Boss Day presents) and it's too hot to go clear them out, and so...
 that      just      got      canceled     t o o.
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Puppy Trail

Puppies have been on my mind because of Huck's foot scare

and so I loved this surprise puppy sculpture up by the vet school.

#MSU #UrbanHikes

Notes on Art Camp

 Nu loved it, her teacher loved her work, and we have new stuff to put on the walls.

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This Little Puppy

This little puppy was so tender with her paw this evening, holding it off the floor, and getting all clumsy trying to walk on just her other three paws. Her big sib came home from stocking the shelves at our new neighborhood Big Lots to give her some love, affection, and a couple of thorough once overs.

Big A and I had checked her already, and she'd let us touch the paw--with no visible signs or sounds of discomfort--but just couldn't put any weight on it :/.

Friday Update: I took her to the doc this evening, and wouldn't you know it from having kids, she acted perfectly fine when we got there. The doc sent us home with puppy Ibuprofen. I'm glad she's mostly ok.

A Different View

Back to urban hiking with L, and here's another portrait of the Red Cedar River.

Also, when Big A and I were on our way home yesterday, the kids asked if they could go out for dinner before we got home. Since we're not paying a sitter anymore, the deal was that they would eat out and just put it on the credit card...  I was so charmed that they went out to a fancy Sushi restaurant by themselves.

#Red Cedar #MSU #Sansu



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Wine and Shine

In all our years together, we'd never been to a winery. I just thought we weren't those folks, you know?

We're more into cocktails, and that--between Big A's work and my no low tolerance--tends to be infrequent. But our visit to Mari was lovely, as were the views and our sense of doing something we hadn't done before together.

Traverse-Greece

The sheltering arms of the land around the bay, and the rippled water reminded me of Greece. The light didn't quite get to that blazing point, but it was still an uplift.

We left the balcony drapes off all day, so the view was our witness too.








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Unnecessary

Everything about this was gratuitous. We were going to be gone for just two nights, and we were literally two hours away--but heading to Traverse City with just Big A felt like a huge deal. His work has been particularly understaffed and consequently he's been overworked--perhaps that's why?

Particularly de trop was my jumble of vacation clothes, and reads, and the jaunty straw hat I left out in my closet all week... and the the little somersault of pure joy my spirits did every time I saw this reminder of our imminent mini-vacation.


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We are the world!

At the UNA's garden party. My babies are lovely, and At is wearing his "Abolish I.C.E." sweatshirt ahead of this weekend's planned raids.















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Tennis lessons are useful

Look at the form on that kid holding the bug zapper!!













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A Rainy Day Visit

The cherries are ripening.

Nu checks to see if they're ready to share with Grandpa R.










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Before and After

My exercise today consisted of d r a g g i n g At and Nu to yoga with me. I bribed them with pedicures and bubble tea and extra love.

A portrait of a very good boy.

(Job) Seeker

I cannot get over how awesome he is.

Long conversation yesterday about internships and jobs--nothing we hadn't said before, but now he's out looking for a summer job.















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His Two Parrots

My dad always calls my sister Rama Chilaka [Green Parrot] and me Pancha Varna Chilaka [Multicolored/Five-colored Parrot]. Chilaka is a used as a term of affection in Telugu, but because it's my dad, he made it so highly specific.
       
 I found these finger puppets (at Whole Foods of all places!) a few weeks ago and I saved them to wish my dad a happy father's day.

          I actually didn't get to talk to him for very long--he greeted, marveled, loved, kissed, and blessed me in about 15 seconds because the India-Pakistan cricket match was on 😂.

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Panic to Pride

It was a verrrrry leisurely morning and after putting away the breakfast dishes, I was going to put away the cash I got from Big A (I never withdraw cash, dunno why, and Big A had a bunch to give to the kids as they finish summer jobs around the house).

So I was going to put away the cash in my wallet... except I couldn't find my wallet in my purse or any of the other plausible places I looked for it. At first no one believed me because I'm super careful... until my rising panicky squeaks convinced them. I realized the last time I had used my card was at Aldi... on Wednesday.

Then I alternated between mild self-congratulation at not having spent money for over 48 hours, and panic at having to replace all the cards and ID stuff. I called Aldi to see if I had left it there, but the call went to some central Aldi location, because apparently they don't take phone calls at the store. Ok.

By this time, everyone was looking for my wallet and turning up old ones and asking if that was the one, I went and put on pants so someone could take me to the store (I had no DL). And then! Big A found the wallet in the door of the car. Hallelujah. Testify!

After that, I took a relaxing shower and got everyone to Riverfront Park for the Pride parade. My friend MD, who runs a local queer teen group, had asked for help 'protecting' the teens from hecklers--but there weren't any, so I just hung out with all my beautiful babies.

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Sansu for You and You and You

Doing what we do best... walking over to Sansu at early-bird special time and eating too much sushi.

My heart was so full at that moment to have both human kids because there had been too much of this and this and this.








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O Say Can You Tea

A special gift from Deb D:

a tea service that was her grandmothers'.

The saucers are big enough for snacks:

so we got snacks.

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Last Day!

Capt. Marvel shoes,

Space t-shirt,

Pride bowtie:

bringing it.

First Bagame

The kids made up a Lego-based game the week after At came home from college... I thanked him over breakfast that week for making time for his baby sib, and he said no thanks were necessary, because it was genuinely fun.

They called it "Bagame" and I called it "BadGame."

The "first-ever Bagame has ended" they texted on the family channel. I clicked "like" and went back to the FYS meeting that ran late.

Hey there, little weirdo

"I thought I smelled a calzone, dada!"

















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Strange Beauty

Today, I heard Paul Winter's Missa Gaia (1981) for the very first time at UU--almost otherworldly in its beauty, it made me happy and it made me cry. (Once I got past the JarJar Binks title and realized that it's simply Mass [of/for] Earth [In Latin and Greek] and that whales and wolves would be acknowledged as composers too.)






And late yesterday, I shared how I fell in love with 11-year-old Nu's little waif with the anxious shoulders.



And then it was a sleepover night in the rumpus room with the puppies, laughing at some of the creepy creatures in Nu's sketchbook, and falling asleep to the strange symphonic sounds of Sigur Ros.

Summer Blessings

 Book Club yesterday








Hike #HarrisNatureCenter









Farmers' Market today







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world changers

#At@ElizabethWarrenLansing



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Current Mood

Read. 

Real/Art

L's backyard looks a bit like a Monet to me...

#RedCedarRiver #WalkingAdventure









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Overflowing

This doesn't even look like Michigan! I even thought that the the little log in the shadows looked like an alligator. All the rain has given the Red Cedar quite the overflow.

I'm having a tough time of it emotionally as well. At and I started watching When They See Us and my feelings are getting to a point where I feel very overwhelmed most of the day.

At DD's birthday lunch today, this came up (at the end after we properly celebrated) and she thought I might benefit from a coach rather than a therapist, because I have to get through this by figuring out what is within my control and learning strategies to cope with what I cannot control.

Anyway... onward, I guess.

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Baby Tragedy

L and I leaned in over the nest because we saw the bits of eggshell and thought the chicks had hatched, but we recoiled at the half made babies and the abandoned egg.

We talked about what to do, but couldn't come up with any real solutions.

It reminded me of all the baby cages on the border and all the foster kids in the system and how L and I and Big A and I and the kids and I and every single friend I have in this world and I talk and talk and talk and we write about it, and donate, and write our representatives but never really get close to resolution.

#Hopeless #WalkingThoughts #WakingThoughts





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In the Jungle

The kids are outside, finally!

And in the two weeks we've been gone, things turned into a jungle out there.

I've been meaning to make paths and landscape for the two summers we've been here...

Maybe this year :)!




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Surprise!

Wildflower bouquets from Nu are are my favorite!

My edgiest child has a super soft spot for me--the other day, she picked me a dandelion when she hopped out of the car to collect the mail.

[heart eyes]





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4F (Fun Friday Film Fest)

That thing that LB and Nu named where we hang out with friends of all ages and eat pizza and popcorn and candy (partly inspired by Sarah, but I don't have enough kids, so I borrow around) is back for the summer. We're finished up the Miyazaki boxed set... there may have been some dancing.



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