We wandered more than we had planned...

but we were never lost.

#WalkingClub #Burchfield Park












_

Where's the Peace (Pole)

We were supposed to be taking selfies with assorted peace poles... something seems to be missing here though :)

Here we go:



We hit 10 the first day and five more the next day!

He didn't use color before

And now he's all rainbows.

I'm so happy for him

my heart is full

#CASASuccess











_

When you go to school in Westeros

         My subtitle to the new Chanel ad.

_

If You Can See the Trees...

you can see a skippy little hobbit in the woods.

#LaborDayHike #WithLB










_

Sophomore year

Hugged immoderately, embarrassed repeatedly, loved immensely, and all moved in for the year (on his Boss Day, no less).

We'll all miss him but Nu and Scout on a visceral level. (Huckie bear don't care.)










_

Just One on Day One

They called a high of 90, but the first day of school required a blazer.

#LittleProfessional #SeriousScholar












_

Friends tagged me in a few Facebook posts this weekend, so I'm not the photographer for once:

at a drag show (KB)

at the Broad Museum (CF)

at the Sotomayor event (JL)

Sunday with Sonia Sotomayor

AAAAAAAAAA. SHE SHOOK THE KIDS' HANDS!! I made them shake mine right after. Haha.

She was here for the one-book-one-community MSU-Lansing event with her My Beloved World. The event was billed as Q&A only, but as she answered questions, she walked around the auditorium connecting with people. She is so awesome, and I kept tearing up with the knowledge that this smart, amiable, down-to-earth person is almost single-handedly keeping us from constitutional ruin.

She said she'd pulled a hamstring as explanation for why she was walking so slowly. I was bit taken aback when she first came in though and had already added her to my list of Supreme Court justices to pray for (#RBGForever).

_

Saturday Trudge

Riverfront Park hike. I love that we have a hiking club now, and I particularly love our squishy ten-year-old member.






_

On the River; On the Beach

L is off on Mackinaw Island, so Nu and I sent her a picture of a really tall rock tower that someone had built on the river...

L sent us back a picture of a rock tower she found on the beach :)

















_

Two

Yesterday:
A long day at work, and a detour
to take school supplies to A. Then--
there's so much hope on the horizon.
I might even be seeing double.

Today:
Nu's Back-to-school "Kickstart"
and we realize that school begins
NEXT WEEK (not after Labor Day
like it usually does). Ooops.



__

The Fall

Sunlight still pirouettes
but fall thrusts its cold nose
into my face this morning

just the raw edge of power
"see what I can do?"
listening for applause

for their noble restraint,
looking for my gasp
of surprise. Gasp.



_

Dog-Eared Day

dog-eared day:
our ears are knotted with burrs
delicious burrs from dashing round
and round the garden looking for squirrels
looking for some deer, looking for turkeys, people
people like our family who then sigh loudly
when we come into the family room
when we've got more burrs than fur
--but they've got us

___________
This is both Scout and Huckie; but Huckie is the bigger criminal. She had stuff ALL over her face especially around her ears, eyes, and mouth. Big A is working tonight, so I had to cut it all off with tiny scissors while At and Nu held her still and spoke soothingly to her. It was HARROWING. I was terrified I'd hurt her or that she'd jar me with sudden movement and get hurt. Nu gave me a hug for being brave later on and said she could feel my heart jumping right through my chest when she did. Our non-human part of the family is nuts.

Also, as the kids said, we should get Big A to do this in the future, he is the professional, after all.

__

Sweet Hobbitses

We walked to the MSU Arboretum today for a world of gardens (Japanese, English, Michigan).

Also, I love my special little juicy hobbit so much.




_

An Augury

An Augury 
Here my children are making spaces:
blanket forts, jokes, eye rolls, faces--
spaces for just them

Their sweetness swirling from cyan
to scarlet to sonnets nibbling,
unfurling in my heart

The gates that once swung between us
when they were young now lie
translated, behind us.

It seems yesterdays are gold, are spent
and tomorrows are vague presents
here at summer's end

May my empty be their success, I pray:
Take the clay of my blood and milk,
my loves; blaze away.

--

Forest Bathing

Nu joined the walkers today and loved all six miles.

_

Uh-Oh

_

These are the three poems I sent DA

Muse, After Hours, Asifa.

Now we wait...

(Super full and very grownup day today: Search committee work and meeting, candidate interview, CASA visit, CASA updates, Tamil class, book club (Little Fires Everywhere), kid cuddle time, sending poems to DA.)

_

When your brother's arms are busy...

but you want so badly to be hugged by him,

there's space between his shoulder and the seat.

_

Beach, But

After Remarkable Creatures, I really wanted to find fossils, so we decided to day-trip to Petoskey. It turned out that Scout and Huck weren't allowed on the beach, so we picnicked in the woods and took turns going to the beach. 

I called the warden who gave me directions to a "dog-friendly beach" in Harbor Springs... but that turned out to be mostly marina, huge houses, and Betsy DeVos lookalikes. So we turned around and came home. Actually, the kids were  ready to do that once the picnic had been had :D. 

_

Did She? Didn't She?

I took the day off today, found a magazine I hadn't read yet, and gave it a read.

Some of the news seemed... a bit off, so I checked the cover and realized that it was from 2015. 

2015!



Anyway, there was this article about Amy Poehler, at the very end of which she talks about wanting to take up drums in 2018.

That's this year... which is almost two-thirds gone. I want to whisper to her: Do it! Do it! You can do it! There's still time!








_

The End

Is it the end of Sunday? I've done nothing all day but work on something I was supposed to have finished nearly a month ago. I guess I might have actually felt like I accomplished something if I had met my deadline. Instead, this is just reminding me that term will be upon us soon, and there are still so many OTHER things I have to finish.

One good thing I'm happy about today is that I signed up to work with the poet Doug Anderson one-on-one. The other good thing may be the gnocchi-primavera I invented for dinner from the pantry/veggie drawer.

_

How Full is Your Basket?

I know about toddlers + laundry baskets 

but these two much older ones

thought this was the height of hilarity

for nearly half-an-hour this morning.

I was giggling most of the time too, 

but who knows if I was just relieved 

that they could dress in their rooms

rather than by the washing machine.

(Kidding; it was awesome.
The title is from when Kindergarten Nu
told us to consider: "How Full is Your Basket on Kids"
her misremembering of this thing she'd heard at school.)

_

Keeping up with the Klansmen

Nu and the puppies stayed home, but the other half of of the family, went to various showings of Spike Lee's BlacKkKlansman. It is a thing of beauty from the way the title is spelled to the tongue-in-cheek super troll move of having Topher Grace play David Duke.

At went with his old H.S. newspaper editor/boss/prom date in the afternoon, and Big A and I headed out later in the day where I had a brief moment of "if someone was going to shoot up a movie theater this weekend, this would be a the one." I did have to take a 15-minute break in the bathroom because it's tough to watch the banality of racism up-close and uninterrupted, but the end was sweetly satisfying.

_

"One whale mom/ did all our crying for us"

Paul E. Nelson: Elegy for Tahlequah's Calf

These are the stories the children of our
children will tell if there are storytellers
in their time. How we slept at the switch
ignored the clear signs of doom, how we
were scholars of war & good tweeters

had nice dinner photographs and saved ourselves
from Muslims, immigrants and every vague
threat the cruel majority could conjure
while the world burned and one whale mom
did all our crying for us.

Paul E Nelson
9:24am – 7.28.2018

_ 

Muse

I imagine entering bodies:
kissy     wormy     secret
tendrils bloody, tender,
cobwebbed.

Rejection gathered like:
skirts  breezes  friends
smiling achily, saying
farewell.

Still until creation erupts:
caves      calls      papers
becomes melody, menace,
practice.

_

Election Day

At went into the day with a lot of hugs, hopes,

and in his orange "Abolish I.C.E." sweatshirt.

I can see him in Abdul's thank-you video

looking earnest, focussed... grownup.

This is the small satisfaction 

I grab from the day.

Festival Ready

"I like to race through the shrubs

and festoon myself with vines

I call it hippie chic(k),
Mama!!"

_

Social Justice Playlist

At had a playlist full of Gil Scott Heron and Rage Against the Machine, so we collaborated a bit and came up with some additions.

Janelle Monae                            Hell You Talmbout          Prince                                         Baltimore                                                   When Will We Be Paid?                              Billie Holiday                             Strange Fruit                Sam Cooke                                 A Change is Gonna Come          John Lennon                               Imagine                Bob Marley                                 Redemption Song                                                    Get Up, Stand Up  Joan Baez                                   We Shall Overcome         Dolly Parton                                9 to 5           Green Day                                  American Idiot        The Sex Pistols                          Anarchy in the U.K.  Ani DiFranco                              Boys in Blue             Buffy Sainte Marie                      Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee             P!nk                                             Dear Mr. President             Curtis Mayfield                            (Don't Worry) If There's a Hell Below Us We're Already Going           Peter Tosh                                    Equal Rights                Sweet Honey in the Rock            Give the People the Right to Vote        Anne Feeney                                Have You Been to Jail for Justice?                 Mary Chapin Carpenter               Houston             Dixie Chicks                                I Hope            2Pac                                              Keep Ya Head Up                 Nina Simone                                Mississippi Goddam        Tracy Chapman                           Rape of the World                                                      Paper and Ink                                                     Talkin' Bout a Revolution                Cat Stevens                                  Peace Train            Patti Smith                                   People Have the Power               Dead Prez                                    Police State         Nelly Furtado                               Powerless (Say What You Want)          Common                                      A Song for Assata                   Pearl Jam                                      World Wide Suicide                                                      Better Man                     Edwin Starr                                  War What’s it Good For? (Absolutely Nothing)                   Jens Lekman                                  I saw Her in the Anti_War Demonstration                  Bikini Kill                                      Rebel Girl             Helen Reddy                                   I am Woman                                                                  Nirvana                                           Come As You Are                                                        Polly

                                                        Rape Me

__
#InadvertentMusicCloud

_

After Hours

The strange demands of the day die
leaving the way a sigh does,
the breath never to return

This pumpkin moon follows
peeping at us at every turn--
part eye, part bullseye

I pull down the book of myself
skimming--I know I should
be farther along by now

_

Rosé-Colored Glasses

Some G/F time with LD, ML, and LW at Lake Lansing.

(Lots of secrets, babies, and baby talk.)

And now Mamma Mia #1 with my Nu and my Mama

(prepping for #2 at the cinema tomorrow).

_

Resonance

Before the Fall

_

Mackinaw

Current mood:



Because we drove seven hours
to see a bridge.



Mom's been fascinated by it for years now
and today was a lovely day for it.

_

I just couldn't get them in a row :)

I do, however, love them 

just hanging out there on the white water 

like it ain't no thang...

Still trying to do all the things

before August is here.

Or at least two?

_  

-

Two moments

Morning Lotus with L at MSU

and singing "Our World is One World" with Nu at UU.

_

Backstage Fanboy Pics

Abdul El-Sayed and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

From my very own similarly-hyphenated 

(in identity and name)

fanboy--At.

_

In which we get the Nu!

EcoCamp Finale!

Roman Tamil

My teacher, ST, wanted me to memorize this kural I had never heard before.

And I repeatedly kept messing up on the archaic word "aagula" until I used "like Caligula" as a mnemonic. It worked.

_

Still July

TFW you feel summer slipping away and/because so many items remain on the big list of things to do this summer...

I have to pause, breathe, and remind myself--that technically at least--it's still July.

_

Walk Talks

I'd been looking forward to walking with L again yesterday, but we had rain and so I demurred.

I said: Let's take a literal rain check tomorrow.

She said: Do you have a raincoat?

When we met today, there was so much to share and so much of it about disaster.

_

"I was teaching the names [of plants] and ignoring their songs.”

Just the most uplifting, poetic On Being with Robin Wall Kimmerer yesterday.



_

Reunited

...but not really.

By the time the "pet resort" opened for pickups,

Nu and Big A had already left for Ecocamp...

And At was at work at the Abdul office until late.

"Where's everyone?" They asked.

_

Lovenotes

to secrete into Nu's backpack--

she'll be gone for a whole week.

And I know I'll miss her so; and

I know she'll have so much fun.

-

From N and R's Wedding

Road Trip Fun

I cried for three hours straight with this song on repeat. 

(Mostly in PA.)

I am frequently ridiculous.

_

Cope/Hope

the killer is beautiful

the killer is additional

I know I'll come back

even if I were killed

even if hills multiply

even to a better life

unclasp the shy wind

swim sunset swamps

heed me lest I weep

heed me for I weep

tears have hard hands

and I close my eyes

to dream to dream 

to dream to dream

_

Sacred Games

There's so much love for the Netflix adaptation of Vikram Chandra's Sacred Games right now. I watched a couple of episodes (that counts as work--staying abreast of the field--right?) and noticed that the subtitles are really off. Sometimes for no reason I can discern.

Like:



_

What do you recognize?

S posted this picture yesterday, and I loved the doggo. 

Then I realized I knew the backdrop to the picture
intimately. 

It was three kitchens ago,
and kinda my favorite kitchen 

ever.

UPDATE: At got the connection right away. "It's because I spent so much time at that table trying to finish my food." 😂
_

Not a Metaphor

I don't forget you
flying
astral, austere

I search until time
is up
over, easy

My prayer speaks
as breath
salient, silent

_________________
Despite a small wheeze, I spent yesterday singling Thyagaraja kritis and slapping talams with tenuously connected new friends (book club to E; E to Tamil classes with S; S a student of R's mom; A a colleague of R; and so on). It was lovely--something I didn't even know I needed. And Nu told me in a silent moment that I sang beautifully.
_

Babama and Baby NuNu

Recently, I did a meditation that asked me to remember the oldest person (Babama, my great grandmother) and the youngest person (Baby NuNu) I had loved. If they could have a conversation with each other, what would they learn? How would I introduce them? I was in tears then because they would never meet each other as Babama died before my babies were born.

But I was reminded that some things live on. Nu lost her screen privileges this week, and when I was telling Big A about why she had lost them, he reminded me of Babama's principle. Basically, if you enable people to cheat (by leaving valuables around, or being lax about people copying off you, etc.) you are responsible for the crime--not the unfortunates who are compelled by their circumstances to steal, copy, lie etc.

When I trace the timeline of this piece of advice through the generations and geographies it has traveled, it's basically a study of how love connects us.

Now for that difficult conversation with the 10-year-old.

_

The Uncurling

I had thought they were
telling a story about you

but then I catch my name

and know that now

this is a story about me.

It's just another story anyway. 

It seems there are only seven,

or eleven, or several hundred

with thin differences in place,

in time, detail, and mystery.

I grieved all the dead kittens

lying on the highway until 

you told me they were raccoons--

animals with no human family. Oh. 

So we recognize the incognizable--

is that even possible? I mean.

_

two out of three

TFW you look at the three sympathy cards you got two weeks ago, and cannot remember whom the third one was supposed to be for. One was for M's mother, another for C's doggo, and the third?

 

_

Progress is Sexy

The defining measurement for this bicycle shed
came from the length of our tandem bike.
I can't wait for all our joint adventures.

As the writing deadlines loomed,
I did dream about this lot a lot
(After I cleaned teverything

In the time-honored
tradition of writers
everywhere.)

_