Reimagining

Arundhati Roy being visionary as usual; the full article is in The Financial Times.  

Time to Freak Out

Big A has been talking about how dire things are in NYC and thinking about heading out to help. Today the city sent out an emergency alert to every NYC phone and waived privileges, credentialing and other requirements for out-of-state healthcare workers. I think I knew even as we were walking with the puppies and making our usual silly jokes that he had decided to go.

He told me late this evening... or rather, he "asked me" if he could go. He's just told his practice and is trying to rearrange his shifts here. 

The thing is I was selfishly hoping that we'd make it out ok as Lansing has PPE (for now) and not as many cases (for now). I even suggested he go to Detroit instead--at least I would be able to get to him if needed. I know he's doing the right thing. But I'm so scared, ashamed for being this selfish, and really, really scared.

The Weight

This picture accompanied that awful story about India's sudden 21-day lockdown and the thousands of migrant workers who had to set off on foot for their "homes" hundreds of miles away as public transport had been halted.

And I look at that small child (center, front) carrying the toddler nearly half her size, and I look at the instinctive half-smile of the child carrying the large sack on his head, and I don't even know what to do.

Where are they going? Where are we going? What can I do? Everything feels really *heavy* right now.

Things people have posted about the pandemic that have bugged me (no pun intended)

serenity now!
(MSU Healing Gardens walk with L yesterday)

Corona and COVID-19 jokes or names e.g. "Corona Times," Corona Hug," "COVIDEO," etc.

People are dying, my Big A is on the front-lines here, I didn't get to even end the semester properly with my students, and I'm not in the mood for your stoopid jokes.

(Never mind that I made similar jokes a week ago and the kids still do.)

Relief that it doesn't affect people who are healthy/young/don't have underlying conditions. 
I know and love too many people in each of those categories and I can't believe you're saying it out loud where people who are at risk can hear you.
(Never mind that the thought has crossed my mind too, and I'm grateful I'm not at additional risk.)

Praise for the slower pace of life
Why the heck did it take a global pandemic for you to get in touch with yourself/read/craft/enjoy music and art/spend time with your kids?
(Don't mind me, I'm just grumpy that all this time I love, love getting with the kids is offset by all the time I'm not getting with Big A.)

Happiness about the recovering earth: dolphins in Venice, drunk elephants in China, whales in New York, all that.
Ok, that is actually so cute.
(Even if it appears to be all fake.)

Legg Day

Legg Park hike; some glimpses of the river, but mostly muddy and ordinary. Scout and Huck loved it, and At and Nu approved of our shorter outing. Lots of distance between us--L and T, B and L, and KP.

And OK--it appears that health care workers seem to be getting sicker from coronavirus--I had noticed this from bits of news, but thought I was just sensitized to notice those bits because Big A works in the E.D. But no. So I've been expressing some panic, anxiety, and fear over here. (understatement)

Love in the time of Corona

I couldn't completely give up on family dinners, so this is how it is now with Big A on one side and the rest of us clustered on the other side.

It was a strange day that felt like the beginning of a war. The email cancelling in-person classes after today had come in at midnight, so I knew driving in that it was the last day. Then I got stuck in a convoy of military trucks on the highway, and it felt like being in the middle of a post-apocalyptic movie. I hammered out an asynchronous schedule for next week; had Big A order At to come home asap; attended a service at the chapel for graduating seniors who are absolutely crushed that commencement is "postponed," and teared up a few times myself; met with my Friday class and let them vent about having to go home/their dashed hopes for choir-band-track/fears about the virus itself; followed the senior playing bagpipes around campus for a while; heard singers practicing "Loch Lomond" on the steps of the library; and then made my way home. I have the feeling all the sweet details of campus life are going to come back to haunt me as this disruption intensifies.

Going(s) on

 Found this as my advisee S and I walked over to the registrar's office, and it gave us both a chuckle.

We've been told that we'll suspend in-person classes after April 3rd; and the delay has colleagues anxious, and students cynical that the date was chosen because it's the last day to request a housing refund.

Answering the call

While I headed to work early, L and T took Nu voting with them and Nu got to ring the bell(!!!); meanwhile in another part of the state, At was driving peeps to the polls.




                          

In the news

'Walk'

Elizabeth Warren dropping out of the race today is the gut-punch of post-birthday slumps.

We have such a long road ahead...

Intergenerational Birthday Road Trip

In Detroit for the women's suffrage centennial art exhibit and lunch from many stalls inside Eastern Market. Lots of talks about the democratic candidates as animals (Warren is a dolphin), advice for the next decade in our lives, our best lessons in this one, and famous people born on my birthday (Vivaldi!).

Back home for pizza, and then off to the Wharton Center for My Fair Lady. The kids kept snoozing off, and after the show ended, we walked around in circles trying to find where we'd parked--thankfully, At spotted Bluey after about 20 minutes, just before Nu fell asleep on me again. 

Yoga and a movie; then more yoga and the same movie

The day started with a round of yoga with L and R, and then the rest of it was spent with J getting lunch, catching up, and watching Knives Out. I came home and did a round of yoga with the babies, found Knives Out for rent on Apple, and watched it again with the fam.

It's quite clever and very entertaining. I feel like we'll be reusing some phrases like "Nazi child" for years to come. Other movies suffering a similar fate at our hands: Step Brothers, Other Guys, Mean Girls, Clueless.

Last Christmas

I wanted to give our neighbors's Baby E one of my favorite board books--Ezra Jack Keats' The Snowy Day. I even found a a little snow baby puppet I thought would bring out Baby E's cheeks and smile.

But the very next day, Baby E's parents went to visit grandparents in California for a month (smart of them), and then they moved into their own house sometime last month, and I never got the book to E.

This evening as we were walking home from Big A's Boss Day dinner at Sansu, we saw E's dad T on his way to pick up some things from their old place, and he stopped as he passed us to give us updates and I was able to pass on E's Christmas gift.

I did it! I gave it to someone special. It's not like we don't have snow after all. #GeorgeMichaelLives.

Monologues

MacCurdy thespians put together an amazing performance of Eve Ensler's A Memory. Monologue, Rant, and A Prayer and I'm so glad I stayed.

It does mean I'll be back on campus in less than 10 hours for a committee meeting, and it does mean I'll have missed family dinner, and Nu's bedtime... but still worth it.

Students--and what they're capable of--fill me with hope.

Strange Angles

A student has had their paper accepted to a conference, and I'm here with them in the Broad coffee shop, going over all the angles of their argument and being an encouraging audience.

In my WGS intro, we were talking about Georgia O'Keefe and Zaha Hadid and their reshaping of their fields in somewhat gyno-centric ways--and they loved it. Wish there was enough time to bring them to the Broad this term.

Mine

A couple of students interviewed me (and 41 others) for their "performing advocacy" class last term, and this term some of the interviews were spliced together as a play.

The little vignette of the nine-year-old bulked up by the comforter he's carrying up the stairs in the middle of the night, not hearing his parents asking "who's there?" because he has his headphones in, and in real danger of being mistaken for an intruder? That nine-year-old is my At. 

And that's what's up

MI state senator Peter Lucido has repeatedly been reported for inappropriately sexual behavior, and J suggested drinks today to rally around one of her friends who's amongst those reporting him.

In characteristic J fashion, there were sassy crafts--here some ironic valentines. And later, a new group for us to join: Women's Association of Sassy Sophisticated Urban Professionals or WASSUP. Yup

Collaborateur

I did some voice taping for two colleagues, and their dance-film Uprooted is in a bunch of small film festivals all over the place, so that's one kind of collaboration. But also, At is in this production, and this may be our first (and only) film collaboration.

While We Wait

The longer our Title IX people take to wrap up the case, the closer I am to feeling that things are going wrong, that people misbelieve me, he will be back on campus, and even more empowered now, and on and on.

I need to take a deep breath and focus on all that is lovely in life.

"Snow: Upholder of Patriarchy"

It's Women's March day today and students were supposed to head here for "linner" afterwards, but we had over seven inches of snow overnight and we canceled the linner event in a flurry of early morning texts. At, who was going to offer a ride to other students, was the one who quipped that snow was the biggest upholder of the patriarchy." That kid is golden.

Then suddenly the day was wide open, and I got a few procrastinated tasks off my list, and then T and T showed up for tea and a chat and EBS showed up with a a whole bunch of movie theater snacks for the next "Friday Film Fest" and a whole set of Tupperware because I'm "always sending people home with boxes of food." She had a present for Nu too, and that's the fourth of my friends this year who's given Nu a present alongside me. Love it!!

Big A works tonight, so Huck, Scout, Nu, and I are hunkered down in the rumpus room and plan to watch shows till we we're sleepy. It's not how I expected today to work but it was nice nevertheless.

The Kids are Alright

Did the parents makes jokes about
"I ran?" "Who ran?" "Not our kid... they haven't exercised in a while" etc. jokes.
Yes, Big A and I did.